How long before the hero and heroine meet?

I've been told that the cardinal rule is that the meeting of the primary couple needs to be quick like a bunny, but in my first-time Victorian gothic romance novel. it appears to be taking a couple of chapters. The set up is a bit complex - I mean, I have to explain why my hero is dressed in believable drag and running for his life, right? - and I don't see how I can have them actually meet before the fourth chapter, even though they get lovely chapters to themselves beforehand.

So is it a rule that they must meet quick, or if the reader gets to know each of them and thinks "these two belong together although I'll be darned as to how the author is going to do it," can I get away with the later meet?

Thanks for any advice you can give.

PS - This is all NANO's fault. The nasty, ugly sow's ear I created insists that it can be turned into a lovely Victorian beaded bag with a complete replotting/rewrite, while my first draft of another book languishes on a fainting couch somewhere in my subconscious.

My primary beta raised a question last night that I realized could be answered by switching the order of two chapters and inserting an almost meet moment - she attends the performance of a play in which he is performing. Afterwards, they make eye contact, but never actually talk to each other. I'm happy. Thanks for all of the comments.