[Split From] Sniping & Petty Digs [in Roundtable]
- Thread starter drachin8
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It sounds more like a riff on "Ist das nicht eine Schnitzelbank", a German drinking song a teacher taught us back in high school. But I could be wrong. Really!
Ist das nicht eine Schnitzelbank?
Ja, das ist eine Schnitzelbank!
Schnitzelbank!
Oh die shoenheit an der Wand, ja das ist eine Schnitzelbank!
Ist das nicht eine Schriebverein?
Ja das ist eine Schriebverein!
Schriebverein! Schnitzelbank!
Oh die schoenheit an der Wand, ja das ist eine Schnitzelbank!
And so forth until you cannot remember all the items you added to the list or have fallen into your beer stein.
Or something like that. Hard to remember since German classes were over a decade ago.
*feels old*
-Michelle
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Damn, someone beat me to it
I could be an angry Polack and say "I don't speak Nazi" but I'll refrain.
... oh wait.
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And just because the nature of this thread is a bit off topic anyway, a funny first-year German class story for all you Deutschers out there:
First day in class, we were all learning how to introduce ourselves.
"Ich heisse Michelle," I said. All was well, for my brother was already in German III and had passed on much knowledge. He also passed on several curse words, of course, as any good brother would.
Which leads us to the poor boy behind me who was next to introduce himself...
With a confident voice that could say no wrong, he proclaimed, "Ich scheisse Colby."
A moment of silence. Then the teacher, the exchange student, and myself all fell out of our seats, laughing.
And a year of teasing followed the poor boy.
And another fun one:
At one of our last German Competitions, one of my friends was reading a poem (in German, of course!). She had been practicing for weeks, and done a great job. I had no events scheduled at that time and so was able to cheer her on.
At the podium, she reached the all-important refrain: "Der Kaiser ist gefangen! Der Kaiser ist gefangen!"
Unfortunately, what she actually said was "Der Kaese ist gefangen! Der Kaese ist gefangen!"
Somebody should have protected the cheese, I guess.
-Michelle
First day in class, we were all learning how to introduce ourselves.
"Ich heisse Michelle," I said. All was well, for my brother was already in German III and had passed on much knowledge. He also passed on several curse words, of course, as any good brother would.
Which leads us to the poor boy behind me who was next to introduce himself...
With a confident voice that could say no wrong, he proclaimed, "Ich scheisse Colby."
A moment of silence. Then the teacher, the exchange student, and myself all fell out of our seats, laughing.
And a year of teasing followed the poor boy.
And another fun one:
At one of our last German Competitions, one of my friends was reading a poem (in German, of course!). She had been practicing for weeks, and done a great job. I had no events scheduled at that time and so was able to cheer her on.
At the podium, she reached the all-important refrain: "Der Kaiser ist gefangen! Der Kaiser ist gefangen!"
Unfortunately, what she actually said was "Der Kaese ist gefangen! Der Kaese ist gefangen!"
Somebody should have protected the cheese, I guess.
-Michelle
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Ich heisse X => I am called X
Ich scheisse X => I defecate X
Der Kaiser ist gefangen => The Kaiser has been captured
Der Kaese ist gefangen => The cheese has been captured (the article gender is off, but we still found it amusing)
Maybe we can categorize these jokes under lessons on why using the right word is important for clarity...
-Michelle
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Adding to that...
Matratze=mattress
Mätresse=mistress
Matrose=sailor
Do not, as a friend of mine did, ask the very proper landlady of your student dormitory for a new "Matrose" for your bed.
(Well, unless that's what you were really looking for.)
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My favorite "wrong German word" story was told to me by a professor. He was on a "year abroad" program in then-West Germany, and was staying with a family. The afternoon he arrived, he was having tea with the very proper woman who was to be his hostess.
He became uncomfortable in his heavy sweater, so he began to take it off. The very proper German woman seemed a bit shocked by his disrobing, so he helpfully explained to her "Ich bin heiss."
Her mouth opened in horror, and the young man realized he had chosen the wrong word--although "heiss" means "hot", "Ich bin heiss" means "I'm hot to trot"!
Quickly, he tried to correct his mistake, stammering out "Nein, nein. Sorgen Sie nicht. Ich bin warm! Ich bin warm!"
This did not help matters, as "Ich bin warm" means, colloquially, "I am a homosexual" (and more archaically, "I have a fever").
He became uncomfortable in his heavy sweater, so he began to take it off. The very proper German woman seemed a bit shocked by his disrobing, so he helpfully explained to her "Ich bin heiss."
Her mouth opened in horror, and the young man realized he had chosen the wrong word--although "heiss" means "hot", "Ich bin heiss" means "I'm hot to trot"!
Quickly, he tried to correct his mistake, stammering out "Nein, nein. Sorgen Sie nicht. Ich bin warm! Ich bin warm!"
This did not help matters, as "Ich bin warm" means, colloquially, "I am a homosexual" (and more archaically, "I have a fever").
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Heh. A different friend of mine made that same mistake, only she announced it loudly in front of a bunch of men.
A man at a German dinner table was eating breakfast with his extended family. He wanted some jam for his bread, but couldn't remember the word. Since German and English share roots, he figured he could find a cognate.
Brother, did he ever.
He asked if someone could pass the "Preservatives." Which is the equivalent to asking someone, in English, if they can please pass the prophylactics.
It also helps to use smilies to convey your feelings. Here are some that are helpful....
Oops..
Writing under the influence.
Writing under the influence of Orlando.
So there!
Writing under the influence of Coffee or Chocolate.. or both.
It also helps to use smilies to convey your feelings. Here are some that are helpful....
Oops..
Writing under the influence.
Writing under the influence of Orlando.
So there!
Writing under the influence of Coffee or Chocolate.. or both.
You've made me smile!
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That's fantastic.
How often haven't I looked for a Schnitzelbank? And always in vain.
This song gives hope.
I thank.