Do you feel comfortable guiding kids back to their parents?

IReidandWrite

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I've had this happen to me twice.

Both times it made me feel good and kinda weird at the same time...Like, did I do the right thing?

The first time was at Wal-Mart. This kid in overalls was running away from her mom. I grabbed the kid by the straps (I used to LOVE being carried like this. Evidently so did Runaway Child #1.) and brought 'er back to her mommy. (About 15 feet away).

The second time was at the library. Some kid had lost his dad. I asked where his mom was. "At home," he said.

So we looked around for a minute and I engaged him in conversation. "Where's your daddy?"

"I dunno."

After a while, I took him to the info desk (after we looked in the downstairs sections). They took care of him.

A couple of hours later, I asked if they found Isaac's daddy.

They did.

The thing is, now I'm wondering if I shouldn't've just left well enough alone...

And now I'm wondering why God just won't go ahead and give me my own children already. :D
 

TrainofThought

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The first time was at Wal-Mart. This kid in overalls was running away from her mom. I grabbed the kid by the straps (I used to LOVE being carried like this. Evidently so did Runaway Child #1.) and brought 'er back to her mommy. (About 15 feet away).
I open the door for them.

The second time was at the library. Some kid had lost his dad. I asked where his mom was. "At home," he said.

So we looked around for a minute and I engaged him in conversation. "Where's your daddy?"
That's just cruel. :D
 

choppersmom

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I was approached by a very small crying child in a department store once. He couldn't find his mother. I took him to the cashier, who found a manager, who paged the mother. She came to get him (she had wandered into another department and apparently never noticed that her child was missing) and just walked away without thanking or acknowledging any of the people who had potentially prevented her son from being abducted by a maniac. That annoyed me, but I was still relieved that the kid found his mommy.

In this day and age, it's so easy to have your slightest action misinterpreted. By taking that kid by the hand, I could have been opening myself up to being charged with abduction myself, or at least accused of it. When I was involved in my son's Boy Scout troop, one of the guidelines for leaders was that you may not ever, ever be alone with any of the boys, whether you're male or female. Too much opportunity for accusations, false or otherwise, as disgusting a thought as that is. But with all the horror stories we hear, how can we not take steps to protect our kids? It's such a tricky issue, and while it's obviously devastating to actually have something terrible happen, it's also pretty traumatic to be falsely accused.
 

Joycecwilliams

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I've had this happen to me twice.

Both times it made me feel good and kinda weird at the same time...Like, did I do the right thing?

The first time was at Wal-Mart. This kid in overalls was running away from her mom. I grabbed the kid by the straps (I used to LOVE being carried like this. Evidently so did Runaway Child #1.) and brought 'er back to her mommy. (About 15 feet away).

The second time was at the library. Some kid had lost his dad. I asked where his mom was. "At home," he said.

So we looked around for a minute and I engaged him in conversation. "Where's your daddy?"

"I dunno."

After a while, I took him to the info desk (after we looked in the downstairs sections). They took care of him.

A couple of hours later, I asked if they found Isaac's daddy.

They did.

The thing is, now I'm wondering if I shouldn't've just left well enough alone...

And now I'm wondering why God just won't go ahead and give me my own children already. :D

You did the right thing. All good things (your own children) require patience, it's an excellent trait to have as writer. :) Good Luck.
 

IReidandWrite

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I'm missing something here. Why on earth would you feel uncomfortable. It sounds like you did exactly what you should have done.

Mainly just 'cos I wasn't sure if it was any of my business.
 

Judg

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I'm sure mother #1 appreciated the help. And an unattended child is always the business of any responsible adult present. Before somebody nasty makes it their business.

You done good.
 

IReidandWrite

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We need more people like you around here. You did the right thing and should feel good. I'd like to have my kids returned by you. Keep up the good works.

Would you mind if I was carrying them by their overall straps? :D
 

Mystic Blossom

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Well, if a kid is lost, and their parent is not in the vicinity, the best thing to do is hand them off to security. Walking the child around saying, "Let's find your mommy," might look a little sketchy to other people, and it contradicts what a lot of parents try to tell their kids, which is, if you need help, ask a police officer (or someone similar), and not a stranger.

Both of these cases, nacho, you handled fine. Since the first kid's parent was right there, I don't see a problem. The second kid didn't know where his dad was, so you did the right thing by handing him off to the front desk.
 

IReidandWrite

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BTW - the third and fourth kids I saved are tied to the water heater in the basement. :D

(j/k)
 
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I'm missing something here. Why on earth would you feel uncomfortable? It sounds like you did exactly what you should have done.

Because of the possibility of accusations of molestation or abduction. I would have thought that was obvious.

If I saw a crying or lost child in a shopping mall or in a shop, there's no way in hell I'd approach it or try to engage it in a conversation and I'm a woman - must be a heck of a lot more difficult for a man.

At the most I'd find a security guard or a member of staff to come deal with the situation. It's their problem; I'm not going to leave myself open to accusations of trying to kidnap someone else's child just because it ran away or they lost them.
 
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I'm sure mother #1 appreciated the help. And an unattended child is always the business of any responsible adult present. Before somebody nasty makes it their business.

You done good.

And that is where we disagree. Strongly. An unattended child is most certainly not my business, my problem, or my responsibility.

You could be accused of anything these days and mud sticks.
 

choppersmom

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I'm sure mother #1 appreciated the help. And an unattended child is always the business of any responsible adult present. Before somebody nasty makes it their business.

You done good.

I agree, but it's very true that anything you do with a child not your own can be misinterpreted. It's way too easy for good Samaritans to be accused of something that just isn't true. That's why a lot of people would run as fast as they could the other way if they saw a lost child. (Not literally, but you know what I mean. They wouldn't get involved.)
 

astonwest

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And that is where we disagree. Strongly. An unattended child is most certainly not my business, my problem, or my responsibility.

You could be accused of anything these days and mud sticks.
I have to agree with this...

At our church, we also have the "no one can be alone with a child" rule someone else mentioned up-thread, because of the possibility of frivolous lawsuits and charges.

My wife and I are in foster care, and long ago, I decided I would not be left alone with any of the children that came under our care. The risks are too high of someone filing a false charge, and as much as we'd like to believe that you're innocent until proven guilty in this country, it's not the case.

We had one child which we took to church once. The church was undergoing a construction project, and other children (many come without their parents) were climbing on top of a rather dangerous part of the construction area. My wife told the other children they should get down, which they did. The child we brought then imitated the other children. My wife grabbed her before she fell and hurt herself, and then jumped her case in the emotion of the moment.

My wife was reported by someone who saw her do it, and had to go through a state inquiry...and all of her actions in the future have been clouded by that inquiry, even by our case worker at the time (we have a new one now).

So, no, I don't think it's a wise decision to even try and get involved with a lost child situation...
 

benbradley

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And that is where we disagree. Strongly. An unattended child is most certainly not my business, my problem, or my responsibility.

You could be accused of anything these days and mud sticks.
And this makes it a double bind. If you even SEE an unattended child, you're better off not admitting it if anyone asks. If the child is kidnapped, ends up in a well or comes to some other bad end, you could be accused of letting it happen by not taking immediate action to get the child to safety (physically grabbing the child and taking him/her to the management of the nearest business, or whatever).
I have to agree with this...

At our church, we also have the "no one can be alone with a child" rule someone else mentioned up-thread, because of the possibility of frivolous lawsuits and charges.

My wife and I are in foster care, and long ago, I decided I would not be left alone with any of the children that came under our care. The risks are too high of someone filing a false charge, and as much as we'd like to believe that you're innocent until proven guilty in this country, it's not the case.
The part I bolded applies in a court of law. The standards of guilt are supposed to be high enough to protect innocent people from being convicted if false charges are brought. "The court of public opinion" on the other hand, cannot put you in jail. If people think you're guilty of some heinous crime then yes, they can ostracize you, but they don't have the power of government to fine you or take you away.

So, no, I don't think it's a wise decision to even try and get involved with a lost child situation...
While I understand the feelings for your personal well-being, this attitude makes it easier for child abductors to get children.

This could be excellent story fodder. Is the title "In The Court of Public Opinion, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" too long?
 

The_Grand_Duchess

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I think he (or she, I'm not really sure, sorry!) did the right thing by helping out. I have a two year old and she has run off before (which is why she has a leash now). We took her to get pictures taken in the mall and she ran off while I was signing in and no one knew where she had went.

She's two, she can't talk well yet and I'm sure once the excitement wore off she would have been terrified and it hurts my heart to imagine that she would be standing there crying her eyes out lost and NO ONE would stop to at least direct her to a store where they could call security.

Could you imagine being her? You're lost and scared and all these people are passing you by and no one is stopping to help becuase they don't want to get accused? No one will even take you by the hand to the nearest store and say, hey, I found this kid please call security so they can find her parents.

Yeah people can be assholes and make accusations but that shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing. That kid did nothing wrong and needs help and if you're in a position to help them you shouldn't just walk by and consider it someone else problem.
 

Mystic Blossom

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I think he (or she, I'm not really sure, sorry!) did the right thing by helping out. I have a two year old and she has run off before (which is why she has a leash now). We took her to get pictures taken in the mall and she ran off while I was signing in and no one knew where she had went.

She's two, she can't talk well yet and I'm sure once the excitement wore off she would have been terrified and it hurts my heart to imagine that she would be standing there crying her eyes out lost and NO ONE would stop to at least direct her to a store where they could call security.

Could you imagine being her? You're lost and scared and all these people are passing you by and no one is stopping to help becuase they don't want to get accused? No one will even take you by the hand to the nearest store and say, hey, I found this kid please call security so they can find her parents.

Yeah people can be assholes and make accusations but that shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing. That kid did nothing wrong and needs help and if you're in a position to help them you shouldn't just walk by and consider it someone else problem.

I agree. As long as you're careful, if you see a child obviously in need, don't leave it to just wander off where it could get in even more trouble.
 

Silver King

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I was at a football game recently, and during half time, came across a boy of about three near the concession stand. He was alone, crying amid a sea of people jostling to and fro. I picked him up and asked where his parents were. He shrugged. I looked around, hoping to see a frantic mom or dad searching for their child. Then I held him up over my head, with one hand on his little ass and the other clasped over his rib cage. After a minute or two, an extremely relieved and grateful father claimed the boy, who had wandered away while they waited to use the restroom.

Never once did it occur to me not to help that child. It was instinctive, an overwhelming need to see him reunited with his parent. It was only later that I recalled some of the strange and disturbing looks people gave me as they walked past while I held the boy aloft. I have no idea what they were thinking, as no one said a word to me.
 

astonwest

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The part I bolded applies in a court of law. The standards of guilt are supposed to be high enough to protect innocent people from being convicted if false charges are brought.
Unfortunately, even if we'd like to think our courts are this way, the truth is something different. The way to prevent yourself from being having to put the courts to a test is to avoid situations which could lead you being there...

"The court of public opinion" on the other hand, cannot put you in jail. If people think you're guilty of some heinous crime then yes, they can ostracize you, but they don't have the power of government to fine you or take you away.
The court of public opinion could very well lead to your arrest on false charges. Little can be done when your employer then fires you based on these charges, despite the fact you did nothing wrong (and even if you get the charges dropped, public opinion may still be against you).