Does this sound okay?

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AppleTree76

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She stretched out beside him, her body parallel to his.

Does this sound awkward?
 

slcboston

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Yes, and repetitive. :)

In all seriousness, when you say "beside" you are implying the "parallel" bit. Also, it's rather stiff and, well, mathematical.

As a suggestion, depending on the intimacy of the scene, how about "her body aligned with his"?
 

NicoleC

As a reader, I would be more interested in knowing if her body was touching his or how far apart their bodies were. I agree with SLCBOSTON that "parallel" is too mathematical.
 

Danthia

I think "she stretched out beside him" says all you need. No need to overwork it. What happens after that is probably far more interesting.
 

HeronW

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Sounds like an erotic moment coming up. For proofing such things talk them out so you don't end up with one person having three hands on another on the head, a breast and a thigh--unless they're Martians :}
 
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