To those who thanked me for my voice...and asked for more....

Inky

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For those who thanked me for my voice--and asked for more ;D

He/she who laughs loudest is usually hurting the deepest. They become used to us being comedians; flip out & scatter when we're solemn. Or accuse us of having a flounce. Nice word--not! I find that phrase totally disrespectful. It's like someone telling you they're going to commit suicide, and you start laying down plastic so the blood doesn't stain your new carpet.
Actually, that's Monty Python funny, and I didn't even mean it to be.
I'm sick.

Now bring in the fact that we're artists. Someone said that as writers, we're to be strong. Suddenly everyone swears it's the bloody gospel. Artists aren't strong. They're uber sensitive. How else do you think a painter sees a mulitude of colors when everyone else sees a blank canvas? Or hears music when no instruments are playing? Puts the voices in our head to paper, fleshes it out, and leaves behind profound fiction? Look through the eyes of a photographer, and for a moment, you will see into the consciousness of an artist, no matter their craft. Close your eyes, and run your hands along the grooves of a potter's creation, and you will feel their soul.

Strong? Pfff. We're the most insecure. We feel deeply. We love passionately. We hate with vengence. And like bumper cars, we forever come back for more. THAT is what makes us strong, our resolve to get back up.
Now, couple this with the holiday season. Everything must be perfect. Inane things like the positioning of the satin bow on the package, let's not mention that the color coordination of said bow must be as detail orientated as if we're dressing ourselves for an interview...the gifts, the 'do I have enough for everyone' panic, the menu planning, baking, cooking, table setting, house decor, wipe the child's runny nose, keep everything cleaner than usual for the 'drop-ins', the family you love, the family you love to hate, alka seltzer, patting everyone's shoulder with encouragement....
Oh, how lovely it would be if someone noticed your own shoulder could use a squeezing once in awhile.

But, in the end, we stand back, and love the perfection of the day, the beaming smiles, the full bellies, the kids talking in rapid fire broken sentences about all they received, or clobbering one another like miniature prize fighters when one thinks to steal away with the other's new gizmo.

Alas, for many, this is the bluest time of year.
Have your blue day. *shrug* What? You don't think you've earned it? But at the same time, grow within yourself. Learn to recognize it's okay to feel blah, but begin to find ways to swim back to shore.

The more you do for everyone else, and put yourself on a back burner, the more a little piece of you dies every day. You MUST do something for yourself. You would be surprised how effective the little things can be a balm to the soul. A hot bath, a few candles...even if this isn't your thing--try it. Why? Because breaking out your normal routine is sometimes the best cure when the curve balls come your way.
Why do we always feel better after coming back from vacation? Because it took us out of our normal routine.
When was the last time you got up early enough--not to pack sandwiches, or race out to that meeting, but to pour hot tea, or juice, and simply watch the sun rise? Ever seen it? Amazing brush strokes of warm hues caress the skies as dawn awakens.
An anklet.
Anklet?
Yep.
No one will know you're wearing it...that's not the point. You'll know. For a day, you're a gypsy...mysterious...yep, it's silly. THAT'S what makes it decadent.
Strawberries soaked in champagne. Oh, that's such a waste...and just for myself? YES! JUST FOR YOU! Pop in a fave movie...doesn't mean you have to watch it all the way through..hell, fast forward to your favorite part...sit back...enjoy the bowl of strawberries...why not? Even if you only spare yourself 20 mintues to do this...it's all about 'me' time.

And it makes you better for all the hours you donate to 'them' time.
 
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oneblindmouse

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Don't go, Inky. I've only been here for a couple of months, but people like you are needed on these boards. Don't let the bad times or bad people kill your spirit. They're not worth it. I'm fighting to keep my head up above all the mire, and your words have touched me. If being "uber sensitive" is what makes an artist, hey! I must be Nobel Prize material!! And maybe I'm strong, too. But few people can do it alone. So.... stay around and spread your good vibes.
 

Inky

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Handle every situation like a dog:
If you can't Eat it or Chew on it,
Pee on it and Walk away!

Oneblindmouse: I LOVE YOUR SIGNATURE LINE!!!!!
OMG! Can't stop laughing! THAT has to be the most perfect outlook!!!

With your permission--I'd like to use it in my sig line...with your name as the source.

I prefer not to leave. I've invested two years, tons of words, and a whole lotta tea spewed all over the place from choking laughter. Just needed to heal hurts from words; needed to get in touch with elements that make me who I am.

Ah, and about the Nobel Prize...I hear they pay good :)

So too, I've a few young authors that I mentor...what kind of person would I be if I walked away from them?
 
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oneblindmouse

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My daughter Raquel sent me that line from the UK in an email, so its not my original work, so feel free to adopt it as well! Its an outlook that I'm cultivating in an effort to recuperate my sanity! ;)
 

kikazaru

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Your OP is very true Inky, and so well written. I don't feel particularly wise or insightful this morning (got up early to make the damn sandwiches) but I will open the curtains to see the sun rise.

Make sure you heed your own words as well and take care of yourself. So often we do know what we should be doing and put it off to look after everyone else. I'm drinking cafe lattes which I have as my morning indulgence, so put your feet up for a few minutes, do the morning crossword and have a cup on me.
 

KTC

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Hey, Inky one.

**wink**
 

KTC

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Farting in the wind and not getting a whif is a Christmas miracle. Farting in a pool and not getting bubbles is a Christmas miracle.
 

HeronW

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I know the words are there and are waiting. I'm just not in the mood (read 8 months worth) to do much about them. My mom's 88 and in the last stages of congestive heart failure, my partner has a rare 1:3 million condition that will likely result in immobility, I miss those who sre't here anymore who made this time special. I wait, do what I need to and keep going...
 

Inky

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I know the words are there and are waiting. I'm just not in the mood (read 8 months worth) to do much about them. My mom's 88 and in the last stages of congestive heart failure, my partner has a rare 1:3 million condition that will likely result in immobility, I miss those who sre't here anymore who made this time special. I wait, do what I need to and keep going...
Sometimes, when life becomes the darkest is when we discover that small light within...hang onto it, for that small flicker is the raft that keeps us on this side of sanity.
 

oneblindmouse

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Yes, apart from being a logistical and consumer nightmare, Christmas tends to resurrect too many memories of lost loved ones and good times gone sour. The best antidote? Hanging on to that "small light within" and reinventing oneself if need be, telling those you love that you love them, and ... er.... peeing on everything else!
 

KTC

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You didn't blow the moment...I expected the laughter. (-;
 

NeuroFizz

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Welcome back, Inkie. But I think you have a pronoun problem in your characterization of writers. We represent the same cross section of personality types seen in just about any other occupation, mostly because we ARE of almost all other occupations. This means some of us will be overly sensitive, others of us not so. Some of us may be nice, others will be jerks. Some of us may be insecure, others very confident. This pot melts all, and it's your choice if you want to dip in your ladle. But we can't guarantee the taste. Most of the time it is sweet, but not always.

Also, please try to realize if someone says you have presented an idiotic argument, that person hasn't called you an idiot. There is a huge difference: I frequently do stupid things, but I don't think I'm stupid person (others may agrue that). It is frequently said one needs a thick skin to be a writer (maybe another generalization). But one really does need a thick skin to post opinions on an anonymous internet site.

Please stay if AW suits you. But even here, there are no free passes when one chooses to express opinions. That said, I would like you to stay.
 

III

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I'm tripping on Nyquil and can't make heads or tails of this thread. I just have this feeling I'm going to wake up and tell my wife "I had the weirdest dream that an Inky Turkey lady left and came back and we were all wearing ankle bracelets." But if this does happen to be real, welcome back Inkstress.
 

Inky

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I'm tripping on Nyquil and can't make heads or tails of this thread. I just have this feeling I'm going to wake up and tell my wife "I had the weirdest dream that an Inky Turkey lady left and came back and we were all wearing ankle bracelets." But if this does happen to be real, welcome back Inkstress.
Be wary. They have tracking devices attached.
 

TrainofThought

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He’sa comin’ for ya.
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