The Ultimate Pick-Up Line (this thread is not about trucks)

andrewhollinger said:

My last three wives said I was an unselfish and capable lover.

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Hmmm -- there's a small flaw in this one, I think. Still, it'd be worth trying to see the reaction.

"You're beautiful, and I'm sensitive. And I just won the lottery."

That would work for me.
submitted by a female

The last pick-up line I ever used did not go so well. I was attracted to a bartender once and had enough booze in me to ask her out, and I said, "So, what time do you get off?"

She said, "I get off all the time, but not with jerks like you."

Luckily, I met my wife soon after, where pick-up lines were replaced with pleading for attention.

These are some good ones.....I need to go google and see what I can turn up....This might prove to be lots of fun. CYL.

and lookie what I found.....lol

Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get.
Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!
Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?
My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!
Your senses must be messed up 'cuz your eyes are talkin' to me.
I tripped on a kiss and fell in love with you.
guy:what's on your face??
girl:what what get it off get it off
guy: o it's just your beautiful eyes
If someone was to write a story about my life, the climax would be when I met you!
guy: papa bear looked ok, mama bear looked a little better, but mmmm baby bear looks just right!
That outfit is horrible take it off right now!!!
Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
Hey, your name is sexy, right?
Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?
Hey, how’s it going? Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
Are you Pentacostal? Cause I'd love to speak in tongues with you.
You’re a pot of gold in this enormous world and I’m just a little leprechaun.
Girl, your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice so that I can run around all over you.
Would you excuse me a sec? I have to return this map that I borrowed.
(where does it lead?)
The seat next to yours.
Do you like blueberries or strawberries? (why?) Because I want to know what kind of pancakes to make you when u wake up.
Whisper in her ear and say, "wanna feel pretty tonight?"
Baby, I'm like Taco Bell...I'll spice up your night.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could be at this same place next year..together..and laughing?
You are so hot you make the windows fog.
Some say there are 7 wonders in the world.
Some say there are more. Some say everything in life is a wonder. But to me, There is only one....You!
Guy: Excuse me, can you step into the light over there?
Girl: Why?
Guy:So I can check you out
As you're going out of a door in a public building with an "exit" sign above it say: There's the exit, will you go out with me?
I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beutiful thing I've ever seen until a gazed upon you.
I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.
You've got something on your back! (what?) Angel wings!
You've go something on you head. (what?) A halo.
I'm like a computer game, you can play with me all day long!
I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.
"Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?"
Someone pass the tartar sauce cuz your quite a catch!
Damn suga! slow down..Im diabetic!
Are you dead or alive? "Why" Because my religion says only the dead can be angels.
You're so hot, you're making my beer warm.
If you were a pill I'd overdose.
I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
If you go to a play, after it is over ask "Want to leave and see the second act?"
I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you.
You look life my first wife! (how many have you had?) none.
If you go away for a while then go back you say: "I remember you being pretty, but not this pretty"
Do you have the time..cause I’ve got the place!!
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway?
Guy: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Girl: That's funny, because yours is a wasteland!
Walk up to a girl, hold out your hand and say "Would you mind holding on to this for me while I take a walk?"
Are you a fisherman because you've got me on the hook.
Looking at a rose is like looking at your beautiful face.
If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.
Baby whatever your serving you better give me a double.
Girl you like a side of good god wrapped up in have mercy would a side of mmmm................
I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
You smell lets go take a shower.
Hey honey, when are you gonna let me cook dinner for you?
He says, "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." He kisses her then says, "I lost."
When I saw your face I thought I died and went to heaven.
Your lips look so lonely, Would they like to meet mine?
Do you drink a lot of Snapple? Because you look like you're made from the best stuff on Earth.
Are you related to the sun?...Because running into you just brightened up my day!
Are you on America's most wanted? Cause you're at the top of my list.
mmm, mmm...You got a behind on you that reminds me of two five pound bags of finely packed sugar....and wouldn't you know...I got me a sweet tooth!
You come on strong like a garlic milkshake.
I noticed you noticing me and i thought i would notify you that i noticed you too.
If your beauty was like gas, my car would never need refilled.
We would go great together like peanut butter and jelly
Hey I bought a new couch you wanna see it?
Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
If you were a Oreo baby, you'd be double stuffed!
I never believed in miracles until I saw you.
Guy to a girl: “What time do you have to be at work in the morning?”
Girl answers: 8:00 am
Guy answers: Then I’ll set the alarm for 7am
(look at her butt) that must be jelly, because jam don't shake like that.
Hey baby, my body is lonely, if ours were together they would be inseperable!
I followed a leprechaun to my pot of gold and he brought me to you.
The average person falls in love 7 times before marriage. Baby, you're my lucky seven.
They say apples don't fall far from the tree so you're mom must be hot too.
I bet I can flip ya and dick ya before you can throw me and blow me!
Let me make you dinner tonight, I'm serving tube steak smothered in underwear.
Santa must've come early this year, cuz you were first on my christmas-list.
Do you like ice cream? Good because you look like my favorite topping!
You're so pretty i wish i could plant you and grow a whole field of you.
Hey you almost killed me! (what did I do?) I saw you and forgot how to breathe.
If being fine was a crime then you will just have to pay the time.
If you were bubblegum you'd be babe-a-licious!
Your one tall glass of water and i'm real thirsty.
Is this the Matrix, because I think you're the One.
My phones feeling alittle empty, how about i fill it up with your number.
Guy knocks over girl and says "oh my god I did not just run into the most beautiful girl in the world."
How long did it take you to walk around the sun to look that hot and be that sexy.
POOF! (What are u doing?) I'm here, where are your other two wishes?
Can I be your butter on your bread?
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
I'm yin and ur yang, we just fit together.
If you were president then your name would be Baberaham Lincoln.
Hey is it hot cause I think im melting all over you !
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
I almost got arrested for smuggling these guns into Mexico! (looks at arms).
Excuse me, but have had a shower lately, because you look like a dirty girl.
Are you an alien?, because you just abducted my heart.
Whoops i dropped a quarter can u pick it up for me while i look at your legs?
You have a onion butt...... it makes me want to cry.
get a pack of Sugar Dddies and say whos your daddy : me
He- I think you are the sexiest girl in the world!
She- Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too!
"Hey, are my hands cold?"
"Why?"
Reach out and gently touch their cheek.
"Because your face is really hot!"
What is the cross between the moon and the stars? You
If your love could be described by words, Webster would have to make another dictionary just to describe you.
Hey baby you plus me equals we.
Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .
Man oh man, if I didn't look a second time I wouldn't believe someone as beautiful as you exsisted.
They call me "milk", 'cause I do a body good.
To the world your one person, to this person your the world.
You smell that.....? Smells like love.
I'm like a power plant, it's hard to shut me down, and I can turn you on.
My Name is Elmo you can tickle me any time you want to!
Have you got the time? (gives time) cool, so you have a watch, i'll be here at 8, don't be late.
I must be a hunter, because I just found a fox.
If a piece of paper meant sexy, then you'd be a forest!
Santa must have missed my house.
Really? Why is that?
Beacause when I woke up, you weren't under my tree.
I see you've got arms, I've got them too! We should hook up sometime!
My name is Justin......just in incredible.
Do you want a hotdog to go with those buns?
Do you carry another weapon with you besides your eyes?
I would give up eterinity to be with you.
Is there an airport near by or is that my heart taking off?
(mess with your eye like you have something in it) i have something in my eye (look her in her eyes) it's still there it's....its beautiful.
You know your good enough to give my last name to.
I got skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?
You look lika a tall glass of water, I wanna drink you up.
I love you like pigs love mud.
Want to compare tan lines?
How heavy do polar bears have to be? "I don't know.." Heavy enough to break the ice... Hi I'm..
I can tell your future, it is you giving me your number.
Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?
Hey Angel, how's Heaven?
I don't normally date models, but ok, here's my number...
Hey, I've never seen fashion models off of the runway before!
Yesterday, I tried to paint you, but I couldn't... the colors weren't beautiful enough.
Hey, wanna be a pirate with me? Maybe we could hook up.
You can call me Mr. ski lift cause I'll sweep you off your feet.
You are like a clam, hard to open but its worth the pearl.
Damn girl, you are the finest girl in 2006 (or whatever year it is).
(on forth of July) If you kiss me I bet you'll see stars.
owwwwww, are you a bee with some hunny, cuz you just stung me.
Baby, Your the honey on my bunches of oats!
What is on your butt?...... My eyes!
If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!
If I had a dollar for every chick I'd seen as hot as you... I'd have one dollar!!
If you were a pirate, would you want your parrot on this shoulder (guy puts hand on shoulder closest to him) or this shoulder (guy puts hand on opposite shoulder).
If I was a pancake, I would want you to be my maple syrup!
(as she walks by touch her arm and say) I just want to make sure that you were real
You better change the lock 'cause I'm the key to your heart.
Should i call you in the morning or just nudge you?
If you were a meat market, you'd be prime rib.
You are the best thing to ever grace my lips.
Are you a zoo, because you bring the animal out in me.
The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight.
Is this place just steamed up or is it just you?
Am I dreaming, because this is so unreal.
You turn me on like a blasting stereo.
Do you take dancing lessons, because you can really shake it like a salt shaker.
Hey, officer, give me a ticket, because I'm in your restricted area.
I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
Is your name summer because you're making me hot.
If you were words on a page, you would be fine print.
Do you have some water? 'Cause you set my heart on fire.
I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!
What's that on your face? *kiss* Just what I figured...lips.
I need a place to stay...cause you're so hot you burnt my house down.
So...did you just dump your boyfriend cause you were to hot for him?
Are we in Lord of The Rings? cause I swear your my precious...
I believe im physic and my visions tell me that we need to be together.
Are you a new type of candy because your so sweet.
When im eighty, I'll look back on three big things in my lifes: getting married, having kids and the first time i layed eyes on you.
If a girl's name is heather say: Your so hot the first four letters of your name spell heat.
You're the sound in my voice, the rythm in my walk, the thunder that vibrates in my heart.....be my lightning and strike down on me!
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You must be from out of space cause I can see the stars in your eyes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say...
"I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on
the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? [/FONT]

Hi. My friend over there knows a bunch of pick-up lines, I prefer to just talk. Can I sit down, or should I have him come over instead?

Don't know if this works or not...but I was never good at pick-up lines. I'd usually just start out by asking them an honest question...

A friend of mine always seemed to strike up conversations by asking women about their shoes....

Good luck.

How the meek try to meet people

"Can I buy you a drink? No? Sorry to bother you."
"You've got beautiful eyes. Oh. Sorry to bother you."
"You're...sorry to bother you."
"I...sorry to bother you."
"Hey, they're towing your...sorry to bother you."

andrewhollinger said:

I have a steady job and I don't drink.

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Or turn it around a bit: I have a steady hand pouring you drinks.

Or maybe I know how to cook no matter what room I'm in.

"I'm a secret agent."

robeiae said:

"I'm a secret agent."

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What's so great about that one, Rob?"

Here's one that never works.

Jim (to intended pick-up): What do you call a guy who can have sex twenty times in the one night, bringing his partner to orgasm every time?

Pick Up: I don't know.

Jim: Jim. Pleased to meet you.

There's a cruder version, but I thought better of it.

"Speaking of fish, I love the smell..."

*wonders if anyone will try it out and whether they will be slapped or stared at in confusion*

Heh, at work, a gang of us (aka me and a bunch of my male coworkers) considered making a book of pickup lines in which all the pickup lines were based off of "Speaking of..." situations. That way, the guys would have a line for anything! I only wish I remembered now some of the zingers we came up with...




-Michelle

drachin8 said:

"Speaking of fish, I love the smell..."

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Ahhh, that one gets me every time. Sniff, sniff, and then I'm beside myself with lust...

rhymegirl said:

What's so great about that one, Rob?"

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Nothing, if the target is somewhat sober and has a clue...

Hubby and I were laughing uncontrollably over one that they showed on the preview for Snoop Dogg's new show.

"Girl, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first"

The show sucks, BTW....

As a hip, single young man, I have to say that pick-up lines are utter, unoriginal garbage.

In general, if a woman goes out with you because of your pick-up line, and she's actually worth dating, it was probably because she felt sorry for you on account of your awful pickup line.

That said, if you're going to do something awful, I say go for the gusto and be as weird and entertaining as possible:

"Can I borrow your car for a while? I once lent mine to an Alpaca Farmer, and I have never been able to escape the smell of wet Angola Sweaters."

Anyone clever - and into you - enough to ride out on the rolling tides of sheer and unadulterated absurdity is the one you want to date.

The only catch is, you'd better be creative enough to ride out into the marshmallow clouds of foofery and foolishness, too.

I shared a cabin with an Austrian many years ago.

We were both waiters on a cruise ship in the Bahamas. This guy had a different woman every night of the week. He was a machine and I had to listen to his same old tired lines every night.

"You are so different." He would whisper in his bestest Swharzenegger accent to an enthralled young American lass "I have never met anyone like you in my life before"

and my favourite -

"As long as I have a face my love -"

To which I would usually add from my upper bunk

"You will always have somewhere to sit!"

Ah the memories come flooding back. I should write a book one day.

Hello. May I buy you a drink?

No thank you.

Great! This is gonna be a cheap date. Are you this easy about everything?

This one is from a TV show, but I think it's hilarious:

"Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather just have the cash?"