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Fenika
12-06-2007, 07:17 PM
So life sucks and xmas is nearly here. I'm atheist/agnostic but my family always celebrates xmas. I've boycotted traveling this year- I hate the stress and it's not worth it- even if the family gathering spot is Florida.

I'm sick of school, but there's only a week and a half left. But then what? I'll prolly try and work on my novel but mostly I'll be sitting around my house, alone with my crappy mood.... and my birds. They at least pay no attention to the holidays.

Anyone else have similiar issues?

Nothing like holiday cheer (and idiot commercialism) to allow a crappy mood to fester. Yay.

Cheers,
Christina, who only wants a rapid-boil electric kettle for xmas. The old one is, well, old.

Zelenka
12-06-2007, 07:28 PM
I used to really like Christmas, especially when I lived in London. I think that was because I was far away from my family and saw them infrequently, so going home for a whole couple of weeks was a really big thing. Even with the 5 hour train / 10 hour coach journey, the thought of leaving my flat unguarded when I had some decidedly dodgy neighbours...I still used to really look forward to going home and doing all the traditional things we'd done when I was little.

Now I live in Glasgow, I'm only a couple of hours away from home, I have a BT phoneline (which I didn't have in London) so I can afford to call home regularly and I visit a lot. For the last few years I just haven't been able to get into the spirit of things as I used to, and that could be part of it.

One thing I also used to love in London was going to the likes of Harrods or Selfridges and getting something special as a gift for people. I still try to do a lot of Christmas shopping but recently it's lost its lustre as well. I have four people I buy presents for; mum and dad, my uncle and my mum's best friend. Mum is the best out of the four in terms of actually appreciating what she's given, but she's given so many gifts, it is hard to get her something that really wows her. The others though always act as if the gift has been given as an insult to them. It's never good enough, expensive enough, it's always taken as being meant as a mockery of them no matter how much thought, time, money and effort goes into getting it. Yet the presents have to be bought each year. I think I look on Christmas now as more of a chore, something that I have to do and I'll be glad when it's over, like a university essay or something.

We used to go to the Watchnight service at our local church but mum's friend decided that this was a 'waste of time' so since mum never seems to want to go against her advice in anything, we don't go to the service any more. We used to get the whole family up to the house for dinner. First off my grandmother died, then my grandfather, then my uncle had a heart attack and just decided that that meant he had to sit around in an armchair for the rest of his life and never move, so he refuses to come for Christmas dinner now. It's just myself, mum, dad and mum's friend, who hates me, hates dad, and spends all day criticising the gifts I've got for mum and treating me as if I'm an annoying five year old running around the house. I wait every year for her to give me a pound to go to the shops and get out of her hair!

So gradually Christmas has kind of lost its sparkle for me. I haven't even put my tree up this year.

Pat~
12-06-2007, 07:36 PM
Maybe you and Seun (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85640) could get together for the holidays. ;)

Seriously, I hope you get through it okay. Christmas is tough for a lot of people. School is stressful enough without added stuff.

Fenika
12-06-2007, 07:40 PM
I say buy the unappreciative gits some cheesy board games and be done with it.

I used to like xmas too. Will have to spend more time figuring out where things went wrong. My sister's drama-time had plenty to do with it. I can only listen to her crap for so long.

Cheers,
Christina, who bought the ex-fiance's-mother a cheesy board game a few days before getting dumped. The later was the best gift ever, though I didn't realize it at the time.

Skippy
12-06-2007, 07:42 PM
Christmas means different things to people. Maybe you need to come up with new traditions?

Siddow
12-06-2007, 07:48 PM
I used to hate it because my in-laws would come, and my FIL would do nothing but criticize EVERYTHING. We have a tradition of hosting a Christmas party on the eve, and the jerk invited himself down and then wanted us to cancel the party. Um, no. So he and his wife spent the evening brooding in the guest room.

Now he's not allowed in my house after that whole gun-in-the-closet incident. YEAH!!! The holidays are back!

Fenika
12-06-2007, 08:01 PM
Skippy- are you trying to cheer me up? It won't work! Bah-humbug and all.

Siddow- I think that story needs retelling.

Pat- I will leave Seun to his booze and movies. But thank you.

Zelenka
12-06-2007, 08:07 PM
Skippy- are you trying to cheer me up? It won't work! Bah-humbug and all.

Siddow- I think that story needs retelling.

Pat- I will leave Seun to his booze and movies. But thank you.

Sometimes being bah-humbuggy can be fun in itself. I've often thought about just sticking up some really weird decorations in my flat, like 'Happy Halloween' or something, just to confuse people walking by.

I do like the idea of buying mum's friend a board game. That would be seriously evil, since she has no friends besides mum, having treated everyone around her like dirt for years. That is cruel though, and probably stooping to her standards. (She gets me makeup every year and then makes some snide comments about my being ugly, always whenever mum's not in the room, I notice).

I'm also with you on not wanting to travel too. I just can't be bothered with that this year.

Skippy
12-06-2007, 08:29 PM
*snickers* I think you should do some halloween decorations, maybe add a few christmas bows to the ole ghoul hanging from the tree.

I sing christmas carols all year long, but not because I am a christmas freak...I think it's mostly the only songs I know all the words for so I do get a lot dirty looks and fruit lobbed at me.

Shadow_Ferret
12-06-2007, 08:35 PM
I'm atheist/agnostic but my family always celebrates xmas.
Not sure what one has to do with the other. I've been an atheist all my life, but I've always loved Christmas.

Personally, I've never understood how it gets people down. Great music. Great movies. Great decorations. Everyone (except you) has a great outlook on life. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Fenika
12-06-2007, 08:37 PM
Excellent idea. I wonder if big lots has any decorations on clearance. When I get cabin fever I will be all over that.
That or I can ask the neighbors to borrow their Halloween decorations. It would be worth it for the look they gave me.

Jess- go ahead and stoop. We are allowed once in awhile, especially if done in humor more than malice.

Skippy- I cringe at your choice of songs. I can not invite you to visit me. Ever. Hope you understand.

I'm off to go study. Nothing brings out my crappy mood more, so talk to ya'll tomorrow...

Christina

Fenika
12-06-2007, 08:39 PM
Great music. Great movies. Great decorations. Everyone (except you) has a great outlook on life. It's the most wonderful time of the year.


All lies!

And you obviously haven't seen the stats on depression lately...

Siddow
12-06-2007, 08:40 PM
Siddow- I think that story needs retelling.



The gun in the closet? My FIL is your typical West Virginia mountain man, never goes anywhere without a gun. Well, I have four children under 10 and a strict rule that there are no guns in my home. Hard for my kids to shoot themselves or each other if they don't have access, you know?

So FIL comes to visit and my husband tells him, "Leave your guns locked in your car. The kids get into everything and we don't want anything bad to happen."

So FIL says, yeah, sure will, absolutely, don't want anything to happen to the precious children, see, look, here they are, locked in the trunk. He showed my husband and everything. The next day I'm picking up and go to put some toys away in my daughter's closet (she was two at the time) and there's a freaking GUN, sitting right there on the shelf, right in their reach, right next to her Playschool dollhouse.

I threw him out on the spot and haven't spoken to him since. He gave my husband the riot act of how we're harming our children by NOT exposing them to firearms. Um, yeah, because all two year olds are mature enough to understand how lethal a gun is. That's why they can get gun permits, right?

BenPanced
12-06-2007, 08:46 PM
I used to like Christmas, too, but it's become rather hollow for me over the last century or so (or so it feels). It's not because I've had a rather sh!tty year, which I have, it's been this way for a while now. I can pinpoint exactly when it fell apart for me, but it's not worth it to me to try and recreate something I can't have again.


Personally, I've never understood how it gets people down. Great music. Great movies. Great decorations. Everyone (except you) has a great outlook on life. It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Not sure if you're being sarcastic, but it's this mentality that really sticks in my craw, as well. The whole YOU HAVE TO BE CHEERFUL AND ENJOY CHRISTMAS OR ELSE! just wrecks it for me.

Shadow_Ferret
12-06-2007, 08:49 PM
All lies!

And you obviously haven't seen the stats on depression lately...
There are three kinds of lies. Lies. Damned lies. and statistics.

brokenfingers
12-06-2007, 08:58 PM
Hmmm… strange. I feel the same way as regards to Christmas. It’s as if the joy and meaning of it have been leeched through the years.

To me, it’s now more of a holiday for kids. I love seeing kids on Christmas morning and getting them gifts etc. but as for me personally, I don’t really celebrate it anymore.

I avoid seasonal events and gatherings because I get tired of feeling like I’m faking it or having to hear the lecture if I don’t fake it.

Sometimes it seems like the whole thing has become just an excuse to shower material extravagance on people, and not even because you want to, but because it’s somehow expected of you because they fill a prescribed role in your life (brother, mother, neighbor etc.)

Anyway, if I’m gonna feel good will towards humankind and all that – I’m gonna feel it all year round and don’t need a specific day to do it. If I like someone or appreciate them, then I’m gonna show them – whenever I want. Not on some designated day that companies and marketers target you with and try to guilt you into buying for.

Anyways, that’s my rant. Happy Holidays…

Deadbeat 007
12-06-2007, 10:59 PM
I love the gift-giving aspect of Christmas - taking time to figure out the perfect gifts for everyone, wrapping the present nicely, writing out cards. I love the decorations and the perfect weather (well, I'm in Arizona, so the temperatures are just right for once). This year has been rather shitty for me, but Christmas has always seemed very refreshing - maybe because it's at the very end off the year. For me, I get to close off the year however I want to while looking forward to a new one, so it's nice.

Fenika
12-07-2007, 08:26 PM
Leech.. yeah, that sums it up.

If I hear another jewlery commercial that combines 'show your love' with 'unique special fartsy diamond' I think I'll rip the radio off the dash and throw it through the jewler's window.

So there.

And deadbeat, I'm glad you got the spirit of giving down. And the Arizona thing. Arizona in winter is nice.

Christina

BenPanced
12-07-2007, 09:41 PM
If I hear another jewlery commercial that combines 'show your love' with 'unique special fartsy diamond' I think I'll rip the radio off the dash and throw it through the jewler's window.
Or anything that implies "you're an idiot who doesn't know his @$$ from a hole in the ground when it comes to giving gifts, so make sure you give your wife a (insert store name here) gift card so she won't have to receive a heart-shaped spatula from you again" or "I'm a woman so all I'm going to do is shop this holiday season, making sure I get the most expensive gift for myself because all of my family and friends aren't even worth the effort of even thinking about buying them something".

DL Hegel
12-08-2007, 02:50 AM
ben sounds married. i buy my husband giftcards also
Or anything that implies "you're an idiot who doesn't know his @$$ from a hole in the ground when it comes to giving gifts, so make sure you give your wife a (insert store name here) gift card so she won't have to receive a heart-shaped spatula from you again" or "I'm a woman so all I'm going to do is shop this holiday season, making sure I get the most expensive gift for myself because all of my family and friends aren't even worth the effort of even thinking about buying them something".

scarletpeaches
12-08-2007, 02:58 AM
Not sure what one has to do with the other. I've been an atheist all my life, but I've always loved Christmas.

Personally, I've never understood how it gets people down. Great music. Great movies. Great decorations. Everyone (except you) has a great outlook on life. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Extorted happiness means nothing. I'd rather be happy because I felt something genuine in my heart, than, "Ooh! Everyone else is doing it, so I must indulge!"

Such pressure to enjoy Christmas at all costs is a huge factor in depression rates at this time of year.

Akuma
12-08-2007, 03:02 AM
The only thing about Christmas that seriously bothers me is the damned music.

All the same songs.

24-7.

Of course, nowadays that seems nothing to my dorm buddy across the hall who's always making really bad hip hop music on his computer. And playing it loudly.
Over.
And over.
And over.
Each.
And every.
Day.

arrowqueen
12-08-2007, 03:13 AM
Jess, may I suggest this as gift in your Mum's friend's name?

http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com.au/Product.php?productid=103

Zelenka
12-08-2007, 04:00 AM
Jess, may I suggest this as gift in your Mum's friend's name?

http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com.au/Product.php?productid=103

Do you think they'd deliver? Like, right to her doorstep?

DamaNegra
12-08-2007, 04:11 AM
I avoid seasonal events and gatherings because I get tired of feeling like I’m faking it or having to hear the lecture if I don’t fake it.

Ugh, I hate it also. Especially the present-giving. As in, "here, I got you a present because... well... the calendar says I gotta give you a present today. Enjoy!" The same with Valentine's and whatever stupid holiday they made up so you could redeem yourself for never giving presents to people. I give out presents whenever I feel like it or whenever I come across something I know a friend of mine is going to like. That's when I give out presents, not Christmas.

But I actually like Christmas, because all the houses are full of pretty lights :) I'm a sucker for pretty lights, so I love how, when it's dark, everything's full of lights.

And the food! What's not to love about Christmas food? Churros, chocolate caliente, tamales, atole, stuffed turkey, romeritos, fruit cake, pies... *drools*

truelyana
12-08-2007, 04:19 AM
Even if you don't believe in the theme of it, why don't you just be with your parents and have an individual experience? You needn't feel the notion of the Christmas period, if you don't want to. It's up to you, you make the moment afterall.

For me the holidays are an opportunity to be with the people that I love, and am close with. The festivity of the Christmas period, isn't really highlighted. It's mainly about us, being together. The holidays are always different every year, therefore I get to experience this season with many who do celebrate the festivity. It's always lovely to have a unique experience of my own, whilst being observant at the same time of the lovely people I gather with.