I used to really like Christmas, especially when I lived in London. I think that was because I was far away from my family and saw them infrequently, so going home for a whole couple of weeks was a really big thing. Even with the 5 hour train / 10 hour coach journey, the thought of leaving my flat unguarded when I had some decidedly dodgy neighbours...I still used to really look forward to going home and doing all the traditional things we'd done when I was little.
Now I live in Glasgow, I'm only a couple of hours away from home, I have a BT phoneline (which I didn't have in London) so I can afford to call home regularly and I visit a lot. For the last few years I just haven't been able to get into the spirit of things as I used to, and that could be part of it.
One thing I also used to love in London was going to the likes of Harrods or Selfridges and getting something special as a gift for people. I still try to do a lot of Christmas shopping but recently it's lost its lustre as well. I have four people I buy presents for; mum and dad, my uncle and my mum's best friend. Mum is the best out of the four in terms of actually appreciating what she's given, but she's given so many gifts, it is hard to get her something that really wows her. The others though always act as if the gift has been given as an insult to them. It's never good enough, expensive enough, it's always taken as being meant as a mockery of them no matter how much thought, time, money and effort goes into getting it. Yet the presents have to be bought each year. I think I look on Christmas now as more of a chore, something that I have to do and I'll be glad when it's over, like a university essay or something.
We used to go to the Watchnight service at our local church but mum's friend decided that this was a 'waste of time' so since mum never seems to want to go against her advice in anything, we don't go to the service any more. We used to get the whole family up to the house for dinner. First off my grandmother died, then my grandfather, then my uncle had a heart attack and just decided that that meant he had to sit around in an armchair for the rest of his life and never move, so he refuses to come for Christmas dinner now. It's just myself, mum, dad and mum's friend, who hates me, hates dad, and spends all day criticising the gifts I've got for mum and treating me as if I'm an annoying five year old running around the house. I wait every year for her to give me a pound to go to the shops and get out of her hair!
So gradually Christmas has kind of lost its sparkle for me. I haven't even put my tree up this year.
