Market for story with big words in it?

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paprikapink

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My children so love my story of the little bear's first day out of the cave that I tried writing it up. I have to admit that I like it too. In my telling, although it's about a baby bear, the vocabulary is pretty sophisticated. If it's a story intended to be read, can the language still be fairly grown up? I mean, if I want to try to sell this. I know it works for my kids, but they are hardly a large demographic. I'm not explaining my concern very well. Here's an excerpt -- tell me, should I just get back to essays about embittered career gals?

-pkpk

Mud. Her foot sunk into the soft wet earth outside the cave. She looked at her front foot, mud oozing between her claws. Her rear left foot hung in mid-air, abandoned. She tottered a bit, trying to move her toes in the mud, not remembering she still needed to set her back foot down. Suddenly, after a moment of suspended wobbling, she stamped all of her feet down and did the new-born bear version of a jig. She didn’t know that was what she was doing, it just happened.



She threw back her head and gazed up at the sky. Enormous white puffs sailed slowly by. Enormous. She wondered if she should hide, but Mom and Dad were nuzzling around without concern, so she just continued staring. Behind the puffs was a solid sheet of blue. Yungin had never seen blue before. Now she saw it next to the snow and the clouds and she took a deep breath. She loved that blue with all her heart.
 

Susie

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Hi, PK,

You have a great way with words. This is a great story and keep writing!

Warm regards, Susie:)
 

batyler65

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pkpk,
Never give up your dreams. A picture book (one intended to be read aloud to a child) can have a more sophisticated vocabulary. I would recommend a visit to your local library. Check out an armload of picture books that look appealing and read over them for word choice.

As a side note, write the book. Use the voice that comes natural to the story. When you are done, you can always edit for vocabulary.

Happy Writing,
Barb
 

Kida Adelyne

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Big words are like little pieces of candy to the curious mind. I loved nothing better when I was younger than finding a word I didn't know, then finding out the meaning.
 

mitzie

Hi , PPink,
Your paragraphs rich in detail and description -enjoyable reading. Regarding children's literature, specially the type that i read to my child- who is 8 years old - i find that they enjoy a good story. The description does not always have to be that detailed . And i find that humour is another thing they enjoy in their books....cannot speak for all children though. And i cannot pretend to know a lot about what children like to read. I struggle with my own stories too!!
Keep writing,
Mitzie
 

TemlynWriting

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I love it! I remember when I was in first grade, and I learned that we were going to be learning to spell the word "elephant," in a few weeks. I was kinda nervous, because it seemed like such a big word! That reminds me of enormous. I think it's excellent! :)
 

paprikapink

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Well, golly gee! I didn't expect any positive response to this at all. I'd call myself encouraged right now.

My husband even said he likes it. (Usually he says nothing.)
Thanks, all!

-pkpk
 

Arisa81

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Paprika, it is great :Thumbs:

And remember, kids these days are way more "sophisticated." Even younger children get bored of the same old small words they already know. You're giving them something new and exciting.
 
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