The ask the ladies/ask the gents thread

Good question! I have no answer.

seun said:

This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

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There is nothing that sends me running faster from a guy then when he acts like you have described. Not all women are like that. But in my mind the women who do go for them have a skewed perspective on men and what they can and can't have.


I want to know why men only go for the girls who treat them like crap as well. Why is it that the nice girl gets left by the way side?

Cassiopeia said:

I want to know why men only go for the girls who treat them like crap as well. Why is it that the nice girl gets left by the way side?

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Simple.
Genetics.

Men are coded to spread their seed. So our genetics compell us to choose terrible women, so that the relationship'll end and we'll move on to spread seed elsewhere.
Of course, around middle-age, as there's less seed to be spread, the higher brain-functions can get a word in and decide to settle with the nice lady.

Bmwhtly said:

Simple.
Genetics.

Men are coded to spread their seed. So our genetics compell us to choose terrible women, so that the relationship'll end and we'll move on to spread seed elsewhere.
Of course, around middle-age, as there's less seed to be spread, the higher brain-functions can get a word in and decide to settle with the nice lady.

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hmmm...I will take that under advicement.

seun said:

Do men do that as much as women? I suppose one answer could be some men figure they can help the woman become nicer and stop treating men badly.

Don't really know, though.

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Yes and I think that is the same reason some women go for a jerk and I have been guilty with this as well. I didn't intentionally go for the jerk cos he was a jerk. He showed me he was a nice person, I get hooked in and THEN his true side comes out and I just want to help him or "fix" him. I have gotten over that urge. Now, I thank a man if he tells me he is a bastard and I move happily on my way.

I got one for the menfolk:

How is it when you shave little chopped-off hairs end up all over - the sink, the shelf around the sink, the walls around the sink, the bathroom mirror, the toilet, the floor - even if you've "cleaned up" after shaving?

Is facial hair spring-release, does it have a little propulsion system, is there an eject button somewhere?

seun said:

This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

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Or at least, take it to PM.

seun said:

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

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Serious answer? I think a lot of women have low self-esteem and they think that by loving a man better, that would make them a good person. Too many women believe in the redemptive power of love. If you're so desperately head-over-heels in love with a man, he's got to feel the same way about you and be willing to change for you. And if he doesn't change, then he doesn't love you enough. And it's your fault, for not being enough of a doormat for him.

Particularly in Dundee, there's a problem with men truly knowing how to treat women. In my opinion, it's a case of, "There are so many women who are willing to be doormats for me; why should I make an effort for you when there are so many other women out there who aren't such hard work?"

Sad but true. Me? I wouldn't go out with a man who disrespected me. Which is why I've been single most of my adult life, and haven't dated a Dundonian guy in around a decade. Never again.

A major theme in romance writing is the redemption of the bady boy hero by the love of a good woman. In real life it can be harder to tell the difference between bad boys and evil ones. Knowledge, experience, and maturity also comes into play. I enjoyed those bad boys when I was younger, but like hell would I have married and bred with 'em.

A question for the guys: I got so tired of picking up my hubby's wet towels off the floor after he had taken a shower, that I decided to stop doing it. After about a week of hubby carefully stepping over said towels (but still not picking them up) I pointed them out to him. He was completely and genuinely surprised. He had not noticed the towels he was stepping over. So, guys, what is that selective vision thing all about? And how do I acquire it?

I'm guessing this is related to the "How the hell did I get hair dye on my toilet seat when I did my hair over the bath last week?" question.

sunna7kore said:

I got one for the menfolk:

How is it when you shave little chopped-off hairs end up all over - the sink, the shelf around the sink, the walls around the sink, the bathroom mirror, the toilet, the floor - even if you've "cleaned up" after shaving?

Is facial hair spring-release, does it have a little propulsion system, is there an eject button somewhere?

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Because some men use electric razors.

the hairs aren't spring-release, but they're chopped off and then put in shaking, twirling metal bits. Of course they're gonna scatter.

Make him go back to proper shaving.

dolores haze said:

A question for the guys: I got so tired of picking up my hubby's wet towels off the floor after he had taken a shower, that I decided to stop doing it. After about a week of hubby carefully stepping over said towels (but still not picking them up) I pointed them out to him. He was completely and genuinely surprised. He had not noticed the towels he was stepping over. So, guys, what is that selective vision thing all about? And how do I acquire it?

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There are two answers for this. The Male Propaganda answer and The Secret Males only answer.

Propaganda: Our minds are constantly working on far more important things.
Wet towels/empty toilet roll/crumbs are beneath our mighty ManMinds.

Actual answer: You care about them more than us. Therefore, you'll cave in and pick them up first.

this thread is funny.

I have a question for the blokes.

I'll come back later when I've figured out how to phrase it.

I'd like to know why after a man is working on fixing something that is already broken and they can't get it to work again, they think kicking it will help.

Bmwhtly said:

Make him go back to proper shaving.

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I'm making him grow a beard instead. They're fun. He put up a bit of a fight, but caved when I threatened to start shaving my legs on the dash of his big 4x4 Dodge Dakota Sport.

Cassiopeia said:

I'd like to know why after a man is working on fixing something that is already broken and they can't get it to work again, they think kicking it will help.

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Three reasons.

Firstly it's a throwback to when all breakdowns (of anything) were mechanical in nature. And, at the time, mechanical meant big chunks of metal and wood.
So kicking it could shunt the bits of metal back into a working position. We just haven't adjusted to the electrical age.

Or

Secondly it's a way of saying "Yes, I've failed. But *kick* I'm still a man!"

Or

All of the above.

scarletpeaches said:

Or at least, take it to PM.



Serious answer? I think a lot of women have low self-esteem and they think that by loving a man better, that would make them a good person. Too many women believe in the redemptive power of love. If you're so desperately head-over-heels in love with a man, he's got to feel the same way about you and be willing to change for you. And if he doesn't change, then he doesn't love you enough. And it's your fault, for not being enough of a doormat for him.

Particularly in Dundee, there's a problem with men truly knowing how to treat women. In my opinion, it's a case of, "There are so many women who are willing to be doormats for me; why should I make an effort for you when there are so many other women out there who aren't such hard work?"

Sad but true. Me? I wouldn't go out with a man who disrespected me. Which is why I've been single most of my adult life, and haven't dated a Dundonian guy in around a decade. Never again.

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The attitude's fairly similar in Fife, where I'm originally from, as well. Another reason people quite often give around that area is that if they leave their man, they won't get another one, and they don't want to be alone. Me, I've been alone for nigh on ten years and I'd take that over dating a moron any day. (course, a non-moron would be nice...)

seun said:

Interesting...

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Ah, but what's the answer?

Bmwhtly said:

Propaganda: Our minds are constantly working on far more important things.
Wet towels/empty toilet roll/crumbs are beneath our mighty ManMinds.

Actual answer: You care about them more than us. Therefore, you'll cave in and pick them up first.

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And how do I acquire this superpower? I'm pretty sure I can do the mighty Manmind thing, but how do you ignore that damp, smelly thing that's starting to sprout mold? How?

I have a question.

We've all seen Girlfolk go into the Loo together. I mean, out somewhere like pubs or restaurants. They go to the ladies together.

Firstly, why?

Secondly, how far does that togetherness go once you're in there? If you see what I mean.

We go to the loo in groups so we can talk about you. Simple as that.

And we use separate cubicles, but the conversation carries on while we're in there. We just shout across.

Damn, I was afraid of that.