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seun
12-03-2007, 05:42 PM
This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

C.bronco
12-03-2007, 05:53 PM
Good question! I have no answer.

dpaterso
12-03-2007, 06:01 PM
So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.
I offer this answer:

Cavewoman instinct. The loud aggressive cavemen brought the most meat home, either by killing animals themselves or by killing the weaker blokes and stealing their meat. Women therefore naturally gravitate towards this type of boor.

[ ] Agree [ ] Disagree [ ] Shove your patronizing answer where the sun don't shine


Good question! I have no answer.
Fair enough, but don't you have a question? Something that's bugged you for ages?

-Derek

Cassiopeia
12-03-2007, 06:03 PM
This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.


There is nothing that sends me running faster from a guy then when he acts like you have described. Not all women are like that. But in my mind the women who do go for them have a skewed perspective on men and what they can and can't have.


I want to know why men only go for the girls who treat them like crap as well. Why is it that the nice girl gets left by the way side?

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 06:09 PM
I want to know why men only go for the girls who treat them like crap as well. Why is it that the nice girl gets left by the way side?Simple.
Genetics.

Men are coded to spread their seed. So our genetics compell us to choose terrible women, so that the relationship'll end and we'll move on to spread seed elsewhere.
Of course, around middle-age, as there's less seed to be spread, the higher brain-functions can get a word in and decide to settle with the nice lady.

seun
12-03-2007, 06:10 PM
I want to know why men only go for the girls who treat them like crap as well. Why is it that the nice girl gets left by the way side?

Do men do that as much as women? I suppose one answer could be some men figure they can help the woman become nicer and stop treating men badly.

Don't really know, though. :Shrug:

Cassiopeia
12-03-2007, 06:17 PM
Simple.
Genetics.

Men are coded to spread their seed. So our genetics compell us to choose terrible women, so that the relationship'll end and we'll move on to spread seed elsewhere.
Of course, around middle-age, as there's less seed to be spread, the higher brain-functions can get a word in and decide to settle with the nice lady.hmmm...I will take that under advicement. ;)


Do men do that as much as women? I suppose one answer could be some men figure they can help the woman become nicer and stop treating men badly.

Don't really know, though. :Shrug:Yes and I think that is the same reason some women go for a jerk and I have been guilty with this as well. I didn't intentionally go for the jerk cos he was a jerk. He showed me he was a nice person, I get hooked in and THEN his true side comes out and I just want to help him or "fix" him. I have gotten over that urge. :D Now, I thank a man if he tells me he is a bastard and I move happily on my way.

sunna
12-03-2007, 06:23 PM
I got one for the menfolk:

How is it when you shave little chopped-off hairs end up all over - the sink, the shelf around the sink, the walls around the sink, the bathroom mirror, the toilet, the floor - even if you've "cleaned up" after shaving?

Is facial hair spring-release, does it have a little propulsion system, is there an eject button somewhere?

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 06:23 PM
This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

Or at least, take it to PM. :D


So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

Serious answer? I think a lot of women have low self-esteem and they think that by loving a man better, that would make them a good person. Too many women believe in the redemptive power of love. If you're so desperately head-over-heels in love with a man, he's got to feel the same way about you and be willing to change for you. And if he doesn't change, then he doesn't love you enough. And it's your fault, for not being enough of a doormat for him.

Particularly in Dundee, there's a problem with men truly knowing how to treat women. In my opinion, it's a case of, "There are so many women who are willing to be doormats for me; why should I make an effort for you when there are so many other women out there who aren't such hard work?"

Sad but true. Me? I wouldn't go out with a man who disrespected me. Which is why I've been single most of my adult life, and haven't dated a Dundonian guy in around a decade. Never again.

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 06:24 PM
A major theme in romance writing is the redemption of the bady boy hero by the love of a good woman. In real life it can be harder to tell the difference between bad boys and evil ones. Knowledge, experience, and maturity also comes into play. I enjoyed those bad boys when I was younger, but like hell would I have married and bred with 'em.

A question for the guys: I got so tired of picking up my hubby's wet towels off the floor after he had taken a shower, that I decided to stop doing it. After about a week of hubby carefully stepping over said towels (but still not picking them up) I pointed them out to him. He was completely and genuinely surprised. He had not noticed the towels he was stepping over. So, guys, what is that selective vision thing all about? And how do I acquire it?

seun
12-03-2007, 06:26 PM
I got one for the menfolk:

How is it when you shave little chopped-off hairs end up all over - the sink, the shelf around the sink, the walls around the sink, the bathroom mirror, the toilet, the floor - even if you've "cleaned up" after shaving?

Is facial hair spring-release, does it have a little propulsion system, is there an eject button somewhere?

I'll answer that one seeing as I am slightly beardy at the moment.

We don't know it's anywhere other than in the sink. Logic says we shave into the sink, therefore the hair is in the sink. It doesn't go anywhere else.

hope that helps. :D

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 06:27 PM
I'm guessing this is related to the "How the hell did I get hair dye on my toilet seat when I did my hair over the bath last week?" question.

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 06:29 PM
I got one for the menfolk:

How is it when you shave little chopped-off hairs end up all over - the sink, the shelf around the sink, the walls around the sink, the bathroom mirror, the toilet, the floor - even if you've "cleaned up" after shaving?

Is facial hair spring-release, does it have a little propulsion system, is there an eject button somewhere?Because some men use electric razors.

the hairs aren't spring-release, but they're chopped off and then put in shaking, twirling metal bits. Of course they're gonna scatter.

Make him go back to proper shaving.


A question for the guys: I got so tired of picking up my hubby's wet towels off the floor after he had taken a shower, that I decided to stop doing it. After about a week of hubby carefully stepping over said towels (but still not picking them up) I pointed them out to him. He was completely and genuinely surprised. He had not noticed the towels he was stepping over. So, guys, what is that selective vision thing all about? And how do I acquire it?
There are two answers for this. The Male Propaganda answer and The Secret Males only answer.

Propaganda: Our minds are constantly working on far more important things.
Wet towels/empty toilet roll/crumbs are beneath our mighty ManMinds.

Actual answer: You care about them more than us. Therefore, you'll cave in and pick them up first. :D

cray
12-03-2007, 06:35 PM
this thread is funny.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 06:36 PM
I have a question for the blokes.

I'll come back later when I've figured out how to phrase it.

Cassiopeia
12-03-2007, 06:41 PM
I'd like to know why after a man is working on fixing something that is already broken and they can't get it to work again, they think kicking it will help.

seun
12-03-2007, 06:42 PM
I have a question for the blokes.

I'll come back later when I've figured out how to phrase it.

Interesting...

sunna
12-03-2007, 06:43 PM
Make him go back to proper shaving.

I'm making him grow a beard instead. They're fun. He put up a bit of a fight, but caved when I threatened to start shaving my legs on the dash of his big 4x4 Dodge Dakota Sport. :D

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 06:45 PM
I'd like to know why after a man is working on fixing something that is already broken and they can't get it to work again, they think kicking it will help.Three reasons.

Firstly it's a throwback to when all breakdowns (of anything) were mechanical in nature. And, at the time, mechanical meant big chunks of metal and wood.
So kicking it could shunt the bits of metal back into a working position. We just haven't adjusted to the electrical age.

Or

Secondly it's a way of saying "Yes, I've failed. But *kick* I'm still a man!"

Or

All of the above.

Zelenka
12-03-2007, 06:53 PM
Or at least, take it to PM. :D



Serious answer? I think a lot of women have low self-esteem and they think that by loving a man better, that would make them a good person. Too many women believe in the redemptive power of love. If you're so desperately head-over-heels in love with a man, he's got to feel the same way about you and be willing to change for you. And if he doesn't change, then he doesn't love you enough. And it's your fault, for not being enough of a doormat for him.

Particularly in Dundee, there's a problem with men truly knowing how to treat women. In my opinion, it's a case of, "There are so many women who are willing to be doormats for me; why should I make an effort for you when there are so many other women out there who aren't such hard work?"

Sad but true. Me? I wouldn't go out with a man who disrespected me. Which is why I've been single most of my adult life, and haven't dated a Dundonian guy in around a decade. Never again.

The attitude's fairly similar in Fife, where I'm originally from, as well. Another reason people quite often give around that area is that if they leave their man, they won't get another one, and they don't want to be alone. Me, I've been alone for nigh on ten years and I'd take that over dating a moron any day. (course, a non-moron would be nice...)

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 06:55 PM
Interesting...

Ah, but what's the answer?

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 06:57 PM
Propaganda: Our minds are constantly working on far more important things.
Wet towels/empty toilet roll/crumbs are beneath our mighty ManMinds.

Actual answer: You care about them more than us. Therefore, you'll cave in and pick them up first. :D

And how do I acquire this superpower? I'm pretty sure I can do the mighty Manmind thing, but how do you ignore that damp, smelly thing that's starting to sprout mold? How?

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 06:57 PM
I have a question.

We've all seen Girlfolk go into the Loo together. I mean, out somewhere like pubs or restaurants. They go to the ladies together.

Firstly, why?

Secondly, how far does that togetherness go once you're in there? If you see what I mean.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 06:59 PM
We go to the loo in groups so we can talk about you. Simple as that.

And we use separate cubicles, but the conversation carries on while we're in there. We just shout across.

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 07:01 PM
Damn, I was afraid of that.

seun
12-03-2007, 07:02 PM
Ah, but what's the answer?

You tell us, bird.

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 07:05 PM
I have a question.

We've all seen Girlfolk go into the Loo together. I mean, out somewhere like pubs or restaurants. They go to the ladies together.

Firstly, why?

Secondly, how far does that togetherness go once you're in there? If you see what I mean.

Girltalk. We're saying things so filthy disgusting that poor innocent menfolks would be permanently scarred. We're protecting you from irreperable damage to your psyche. You should thank us.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 07:06 PM
You tell us, bird.

I'm hoping it's a 'yes'.

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 07:07 PM
I'm hoping it's a 'yes'.
I scared

C.bronco
12-03-2007, 07:12 PM
I offer this answer:

Cavewoman instinct. The loud aggressive cavemen brought the most meat home, either by killing animals themselves or by killing the weaker blokes and stealing their meat. Women therefore naturally gravitate towards this type of boor.

[ X] Agree that's probably it.[ ] Disagree [ ] Shove your patronizing answer where the sun don't shine


Fair enough, but don't you have a question? Something that's bugged you for ages?

-Derek
I can't think of one. I only wonder about the reflex that gives men whiplash when a long-haired blond woman walks by, regardless of what her other attributes may be. Maybe that has prehistoric roots as well.

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 07:22 PM
I can't think of one. I only wonder about the reflex that gives men whiplash when a long-haired blond woman walks by, regardless of what her other attributes may be. Maybe that has prehistoric roots as well.Roots in the middle ages.
Any woman who's hair is clean enough that you can see it's blonde must be wealthy.

Sophia
12-03-2007, 07:42 PM
We've all seen Girlfolk go into the Loo together. I mean, out somewhere like pubs or restaurants. They go to the ladies together.

Firstly, why?

Secondly, how far does that togetherness go once you're in there? If you see what I mean.

I had a housemate who did this with one of her close friends. They'd go into the cubicle together, chatting away constantly, take turns peeing and then come out. They would chat for ages, almost forgetting they were in there, it seemed. Occasionally, other women would knock on the door as they were in there so long. I thought of it as an example of how relaxed they were with each other, nothing more, although it was the most 'extreme' example of this behaviour I've witnessed.

As for going to the ladies together (here I mean the main bathroom, not the cubicles themselves) I find it just feels better to walk with someone across a crowded dancefloor than on my own.

truelyana
12-03-2007, 07:45 PM
hmmm...I will take that under advicement. ;)

Yes and I think that is the same reason some women go for a jerk and I have been guilty with this as well. I didn't intentionally go for the jerk cos he was a jerk. He showed me he was a nice person, I get hooked in and THEN his true side comes out and I just want to help him or "fix" him. I have gotten over that urge. :D Now, I thank a man if he tells me he is a bastard and I move happily on my way.

I can relate. My ex was a wonderful person, until I came along. Then it sort of all changed, and there was violence involved, and all sorts, but I stuck as I really wanted to help him and felt I was the only one who knew him then, as he had issues with he's parents. I didn't love him, I just wanted to help him, as he changed drastically from the wonderful person he was, to a typical 'bad boy' wannabe.

I've only ever met gentlemen otherwise. I've been the jerk in most past relationships, not the man.

Tornadoboy
12-03-2007, 07:47 PM
I have a few for the fems:

1 - Why do you ask things like "Do I look fat in this" when you don't want an honest answer?

2 - Why do you ask things at idle moments like "What'cha thinking?" Do you really want to know that my butt itches, I think that the friends you just invited over for dinner are arseholes, or that I think you look fat in that dress?

3 - Issues of who's responsibility it is aside, how is it that you manage to fall into a toilet bowl when the seat is up? Don't you check?

I await your retaliation :D

truelyana
12-03-2007, 07:48 PM
This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

This depends alot on how a person is. I think the underlining fact, is that the 'typical' girl attracted to bad boy is a stereotype in the society we live in. I have never really attracted that type of person. For the most part in my teens and before hitting my 20's, I was the arsehole, got drunk, started fights, and had no real interest in the relationship, as I treated them like crap and didn't care.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 07:50 PM
1 - Why do you ask things like "Do I look fat in this" when you don't want an honest answer?

I can say in all honesty I've never asked this question, mainly because I know I'm not fat.

Why do other women ask it, though? They're looking for reassurance, whereas in my opinion, extorted reassurance is worthless.


2 - Why do you ask things at idle moments like "What'cha thinking?" Do you really want to know that my butt itches, I think that the friends you just invited over for dinner are arseholes, or that I think you look fat in that dress?

Probably just a looking for reassurance thing. Me, I never ask "What are you thinking?" because it's an invasion of privacy. If a man asks me what I'm thinking, I answer sarcastically if I can be bothered, but more often than not, I say, "None of your business."


3 - Issues of who's responsibility it is aside, how is it that you manage to fall into a toilet bowl when the seat is up? Don't you check?

See, this is why I don't live with anyone and never want to live with anyone. My bathroom belongs to me, and the seat (and lid) stay down. For reasons of hygiene.

seun
12-03-2007, 07:54 PM
2 - Why do you ask things at idle moments like "What'cha thinking?" Do you really want to know that my butt itches, I think that the friends you just invited over for dinner are arseholes, or that I think you look fat in that dress?


My girlfriend asked me a couple of nights ago what I was thinking. She seemed surprised when I said I was watching the flashing lights on the fruit machine.

truelyana
12-03-2007, 07:57 PM
I have a few for the fems:

1 - Why do you ask things like "Do I look fat in this" when you don't want an honest answer?

2 - Why do you ask things at idle moments like "What'cha thinking?" Do you really want to know that my butt itches, I think that the friends you just invited over for dinner are arseholes, or that I think you look fat in that dress?

3 - Issues of who's responsibility it is aside, how is it that you manage to fall into a toilet bowl when the seat is up? Don't you check?

I await your retaliation :D

1. I've never asked that before.
2. I've never asked that before.
3. I've never fallen into a toilet bowl, and I love the toilet seat being up.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 08:09 PM
My girlfriend asked me a couple of nights ago what I was thinking. She seemed surprised when I said I was watching the flashing lights on the fruit machine.

A (male) friend of mine told me once that I think like a man. I took it as a compliment. :D

He pointed out that I never ask typically girly questions, or moan at them for watching football, or complain when they want to watch a film in silence.

So I said, "The reason I never ask what you're thinking is, I don't give a shit. If you wanted to tell me, you would."

I mean, it seems obvious to me. All these girly-girl questions and topics of conversation seem like so much nagging. Why bother trying to force a man to talk to you? If he doesn't, he doesn't want to. If he wanted to, he would.

I mean...am I wrong?

truelyana
12-03-2007, 08:17 PM
Or at least, take it to PM. :D



Serious answer? I think a lot of women have low self-esteem and they think that by loving a man better, that would make them a good person. Too many women believe in the redemptive power of love. If you're so desperately head-over-heels in love with a man, he's got to feel the same way about you and be willing to change for you. And if he doesn't change, then he doesn't love you enough. And it's your fault, for not being enough of a doormat for him.

Particularly in Dundee, there's a problem with men truly knowing how to treat women. In my opinion, it's a case of, "There are so many women who are willing to be doormats for me; why should I make an effort for you when there are so many other women out there who aren't such hard work?"

Sad but true. Me? I wouldn't go out with a man who disrespected me. Which is why I've been single most of my adult life, and haven't dated a Dundonian guy in around a decade. Never again.

I'm the other way round. I don't believe in the power of love, and in past years I've been the one whose disrespected the man the most, and tried to get them off my back for fear of being involved. The only successful long term relationship I've experienced, is the one I'm currently in, as I've given myself a chance. (5 years in Feb2008)

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 08:27 PM
1 - Why do you ask things like "Do I look fat in this" when you don't want an honest answer?

I'm guilty of this, though what I'm more likely to say is "how do I look?" My husband is very good with the honest, yet tactful answers.
On the other hand I've known numerous men who have asked "how do I look?", and god forbid you tell them the truth.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 08:34 PM
This is the thread for men to ask women the answers to questions that confuse us and for women to ask us stuff. Obviously, we want to keep this clean and not get personal so no pervy questions about Nichola's undies.

So my first question for the girls: what is the deal with you going for blokes who are total arseholes? I'm not talking about bad boys; more the blokes who get drunk, start fights, have no real interest in your relationship and treat you like crap. Basically, the type of man who you moan about but then go back to.

They're not arseholes on the first date, second and maybe third... it's after we fall for them and they see that they have us that they become total arsehole farkheads dipshods. :)

maestrowork
12-03-2007, 08:57 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

truelyana
12-03-2007, 08:58 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

I always make the first move. I like being in control of everything. If I like someone, I go for it. Usually if the guy doesn't, and is playing a game, I go right for the kill and confront them about it, lay out the ground rules and usually disperse of them. I'm kinda tough like that, a bit too tough, especially if their playing as I always see right through them.

I don't like waiting around, it's a bore. If I wanted something, I would just go up to any guy and get it. (Past tense here heehee)

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:09 PM
My girlfriend asked me a couple of nights ago what I was thinking. She seemed surprised when I said I was watching the flashing lights on the fruit machine.
I've stopped asking. Now that I have been married for 10 years... I have finally figured out that I really don't want to know, and chances are... it isn't important. :)

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:09 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?
Because we want to make sure you are interested. We can't stand rejection.

truelyana
12-03-2007, 09:11 PM
Because we want to make sure you are interested. We can't stand rejection.

That's why I go right for the kill, as the guy always end up getting rejected. I like being rejected, it's the nicest thing anyone could do for me. :)

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 09:12 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

It's interesting you use the word "ladies", because what you are describing is what I was raised to think of as ladylike behavior - being demure, non sexually available or aggressive, etc. Also, women usually show their interest in more subtle ways, body language, etc.

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:13 PM
On the other hand I've known numerous men who have asked "how do I look?", and god forbid you tell them the truth.

Mr. Turkey asks that question every day. I always answer with - "I'm sorry hon, your awesomeness is blinding me, I can't see beyond those sparkley blue eyes and those rippling muscles." ;)

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:13 PM
That's why I go right for the kill, as the guy always end up getting rejected. I like being rejected, it's the nicest thing anyone could do for me. :)
How could any guy in his right mind reject you? They must be total dorks.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 09:14 PM
My girlfriend asked me a couple of nights ago what I was thinking. She seemed surprised when I said I was watching the flashing lights on the fruit machine.

yea, I alone have waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much to think about than to wonder what he's thinking about. Screw that. Think away.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 09:16 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

Because then we're an easy whore. And if it doesn't scare you off, you'll remind us of the fact every chance you get.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 09:17 PM
How could any guy in his right mind reject you? They must be total dorks.

I guess they're not interested in the cottage, fireplace, scones, hot tea, fuzzy pink bunny slippers and lots and lots of sex. Crazies.

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 09:19 PM
Mr. Turkey asks that question every day. I always answer with - "I'm sorry hon, your awesomeness is blinding me, I can't see beyond those sparkley blue eyes and those rippling muscles." ;)


You're a wise woman, and your point brings up another question. How is it possible for men to be oh so very manly, and yet have such a tender and easily squished ego?

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 09:19 PM
Also, women usually show their interest in more subtle ways, body language, etc.
And he didn't notice cause he was watching football. :)

Devil Ledbetter
12-03-2007, 09:20 PM
I have a few for the fems:

1 - Why do you ask things like "Do I look fat in this" when you don't want an honest answer?What Scarlett said.


2 - Why do you ask things at idle moments like "What'cha thinking?" Do you really want to know that my butt itches, I think that the friends you just invited over for dinner are arseholes, or that I think you look fat in that dress?It's not really that we care to know what you're thinking, but that we're checking whether or not you are thinking. Apparently, you are not. (And if your butt itches, for god's sake take a shower!)


3 - Issues of who's responsibility it is aside, how is it that you manage to fall into a toilet bowl when the seat is up? Don't you check? My gentlemanly DH puts it back down.

Zelenka
12-03-2007, 09:24 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

I've always made the first move. Maybe it's because I'm not an attractive woman in any way and so never got into all that sort of flirting thing (because I don't like getting laughed at or the looks of disgust from the flirtee), but I've never been into those kind of strategems.

dpaterso
12-03-2007, 09:26 PM
I only wonder about the reflex that gives men whiplash when a long-haired blond woman walks by, regardless of what her other attributes may be. Maybe that has prehistoric roots as well.
Each to their own, my radar is geared toward noticing dark hair and tones. My other half (a jealous cat who's always ready to scratch if I dare look at another woman) has expressed surprise when I haven't even noticed the stunning blonde who just walked by.

-Derek

Devil Ledbetter
12-03-2007, 09:28 PM
My question for the men is, how can you not see stuff that's right in front of you?

My DH will say "where's the cooking spray?"

"It's in the cupboard where it belongs, on the right hand side."

"Nope. I looked. It's not there."

"It's probably behind something. Look again."

"I did. It's not there."

Inevitably, when I open the cupboard, it will be EXACTLY where I said it was. I have this sort of conversation/turn of events with DH about 27 times a week. Can anyone explain why men are blind the obvious?

Devil Ledbetter
12-03-2007, 09:30 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?If I'm not making a move, it's because I'm not interested.

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:32 PM
You're a wise woman, and your point brings up another question. How is it possible for men to be oh so very manly, and yet have such a tender and easily squished ego?
Stems from the pressure they feel to keep up that manly appearance. I just keep reminding him that he doesn't even have to try... if he is willing to reach into the garbage disposal to pull out a peach pit... he is manly. Enough said.

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 09:33 PM
Each to their own, my radar is geared toward noticing dark hair and tones. My other half (a jealous cat who's always ready to scratch if I dare look at another woman) has expressed surprise when I haven't even noticed the stunning blonde who just walked by.

-Derek

My hubby gets to look at whoever he wants to, and I claim the same right.

JLCwrites
12-03-2007, 09:35 PM
My hubby gets to look at whoever he wants to, and I claim the same right.
Yep! Ditto that!

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:02 PM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

Fear of rejection. Yes, I know that applies to men too.

Fear of looking unladylike and pushy. Like it or not, society still deems it to be the man's job to make the first move.

And in my case at least, the thought of forever wondering is he too young and was he really flirting with me during those conversations we've had at work?, "Would he have made the first move if I hadn't? Is he only going out with me because he had nothing (or no-one) better to do?

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:03 PM
My question for the men is, how can you not see stuff that's right in front of you?

My DH will say "where's the cooking spray?"

"It's in the cupboard where it belongs, on the right hand side."

"Nope. I looked. It's not there."

"It's probably behind something. Look again."

"I did. It's not there."

Inevitably, when I open the cupboard, it will be EXACTLY where I said it was. I have this sort of conversation/turn of events with DH about 27 times a week. Can anyone explain why men are blind the obvious?

Didn't you know? The womb is a homing device for things that men have lost.

Bmwhtly
12-03-2007, 10:05 PM
My question for the men is, how can you not see stuff that's right in front of you?

My DH will say "where's the cooking spray?"

"It's in the cupboard where it belongs, on the right hand side."

"Nope. I looked. It's not there."

"It's probably behind something. Look again."

"I did. It's not there."

Inevitably, when I open the cupboard, it will be EXACTLY where I said it was. I have this sort of conversation/turn of events with DH about 27 times a week. Can anyone explain why men are blind the obvious?It's so he can ogle you as you walk away :)


My hubby gets to look at whoever he wants to.
Bless you mrs haze!

sunna
12-03-2007, 10:15 PM
My hubby gets to look at whoever he wants to, and I claim the same right.

Damn skippy. Nothing wrong with looking.


For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?

I never had a problem showing interest; first move....well, I guess I figure showing interest, whether it be heavy eye contact, starting a conversation, or dragging a guy out onto the dance floor, is my version of the first move. After that it's up to him.

Of course, after 6+ years of being married, the first move is a different thing altogether.....and that's not necessarily up to him. :D

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:24 PM
How could any guy in his right mind reject you? They must be total dorks.

No, actually they are quite the gentleman. I just reverse, what they originally think of me. I play the mind game too. ;) Probably too much at times, and end up blowing it. But oh well, I've learnt the hard way what my mind games are capable of. No need for mind games anymore. yey.:)

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:25 PM
Yep! Ditto that!

Ditto x 3. :)

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:26 PM
I'd love to know what your secret is. I don't have the (girl)balls to go steaming in there and say, "Hey. I like you. Do you like me?" - Or more mature equivalent.

My fear of rejection cripples me; sometimes I think it's better to be single than risk a knockback, and even the guys who do seem to like me never make much of an effort. My girlfriends tell me I don't give out enough 'green light' signals, but as has been hinted at earlier in this thread, there's the old "Don't want to look pushy," thing coming into play there...

Okay, get back on topic now. :D

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:31 PM
I'd love to know what your secret is. I don't have the (girl)balls to go steaming in there and say, "Hey. I like you. Do you like me?" - Or more mature equivalent.

My fear of rejection cripples me; sometimes I think it's better to be single than risk a knockback, and even the guys who do seem to like me never make much of an effort. My girlfriends tell me I don't give out enough 'green light' signals, but as has been hinted at earlier in this thread, there's the old "Don't want to look pushy," thing coming into play there...

Okay, get back on topic now. :D

Perhaps it's not fear of being rejected by another person, but fear of yourself, taking an opportunity by the hand and really surprising yourself. Also linked with embarassment in front of others, and what others may think of you. I have never cared what others think, and that's always been my way in with everything.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:33 PM
I may PM you about this. :D

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 10:34 PM
Perhaps it's not fear of being rejected by another person, but fear of yourself, finding out that you can have a good time if you just go with it, and surprise yourself. Also linked with embarassment in front of others, and what others may think of you. I have never cared what others think, and that's always been my way in with everything.


Ana, would you describe yourself as a very confident person?

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:36 PM
Ah, there's the thing. What women would call confidence, some men can see as "Oh my god! She's scary! Run away! Run away!"

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:39 PM
Ana, would you describe yourself as a very confident person?

50/50. For me being confident is linked to my overall understanding of things, and how happy I can be as a person.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:40 PM
I'd love to know what your secret is. I don't have the (girl)balls to go steaming in there and say, "Hey. I like you. Do you like me?" - Or more mature equivalent.

My fear of rejection cripples me; sometimes I think it's better to be single than risk a knockback, and even the guys who do seem to like me never make much of an effort. My girlfriends tell me I don't give out enough 'green light' signals, but as has been hinted at earlier in this thread, there's the old "Don't want to look pushy," thing coming into play there...

Okay, get back on topic now. :D

A little liquor will fix all of that in a jiffy.

davids
12-03-2007, 10:40 PM
Read this thread-very confusing indeed-very confusing-so here is my question to the ladies-what planet am I living on? I know I know, the planet Alazmagorica because if I lived on this planet I would understand and I do not-so I guess that answers me question. Thanks you lovely ladies for helping me out-especially the princess from Dundee!!!!

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:42 PM
davids! :kiss:

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:42 PM
A little liquor will fix all of that in a jiffy.

I think there's rules about showing up at work pissed, even in Dundee. :D

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:43 PM
Read this thread-very confusing indeed-very confusing-so here is my question to the ladies-what planet am I living on? I know I know, the planet Alazmagorica because if I lived on this planet I would understand and I do not-so I guess that answers me question. Thanks you lovely ladies for helping me out-especially the princess from Dundee!!!!

You're on any planet you want to be on. ;)

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:45 PM
I think there's rules about showing up at work pissed, even in Dundee. :D

Are you saying your doctor AND your coworkers are hitting on you?!?!?!?!? ;) or that you've got the hotttttts for a coworker?????

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:46 PM
Pass. ;)

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:47 PM
Ooooh is it the mail courier? They're fun. Or is it the UPS delivery guy? They're usually hott.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:48 PM
Check your rep points...

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:48 PM
I can't, I may go into shock if I see a rep from the one and only SP.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:49 PM
Brace yourself. Have a stiff one before you look. :ROFL:

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:50 PM
go get'm tiger.

truelyana
12-03-2007, 10:52 PM
A little liquor will fix all of that in a jiffy.

Liquor is not very good for me. I always end up completetly waisted with the hiccups, and people carrying me home. Imagine how that will look like in work. I looked like that in school once, that's probably why I got expelled. Ouch.

jennifer75
12-03-2007, 10:53 PM
Moderation dear Ana, moderation. Just enough to get a little feisty...Then again too much confidence is probably what led me to WIP and ALLLLLLLLLL the stories I have to tell of well....naughtiness.

scarletpeaches
12-03-2007, 10:54 PM
Perhaps the trick is to get the other person drunk...

Anyone know where I can pick up some rohypnol?

waylander
12-03-2007, 10:55 PM
Also, women usually show their interest in more subtle ways, body language, etc.

Which men are notoriously bad at reading.

WendyNYC
12-03-2007, 10:56 PM
My fear of rejection cripples me; sometimes I think it's better to be single than risk a knockback, and even the guys who do seem to like me never make much of an effort. My girlfriends tell me I don't give out enough 'green light' signals, but as has been hinted at earlier in this thread, there's the old "Don't want to look pushy," thing coming into play there...


My husband was shy when we first met. Plus, we worked together and we had that whole "office politics" thing going. I had to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that I liked him. Pushy, nothin! I doubt we'd be married today if I didn't basically invite myself over to his house. (He lived at the beach and I told him how much I LOVED THE BEACH, but there was never ANYWHERE TO PARK. Especially on the WEEKENDS, when I'm FREE. Oh, you have a private driveway? Well, who knew?)

Push away, I say!

oneblindmouse
12-03-2007, 10:57 PM
There are two answers for this. The Male Propaganda answer and The Secret Males only answer.

Propaganda: Our minds are constantly working on far more important things.
Wet towels/empty toilet roll/crumbs are beneath our mighty ManMinds.

Actual answer: You care about them more than us. Therefore, you'll cave in and pick them up first. :D[/quote]

This is sadly soooo true!! What is it with most men (presumably not all, though I still have to meet the other kind who presumably exist) that they have to be the macho and NEVER concede to common sense in case they are perceived as 'caving in' to a woman??? And why oh why do we women end up caving in??? I am as guilty as anyone else and totally despise myself every time I give in for the sake of peace and quiet, while remembering the pain and frustration of the arguments and trying to reason with men. And WHAT makes them think THEY are logical?

truelyana
12-03-2007, 11:01 PM
Moderation dear Ana, moderation. Just enough to get a little feisty...Then again too much confidence is probably what led me to WIP and ALLLLLLLLLL the stories I have to tell of well....naughtiness.


I have all that moderation in check now. Alcohol makes me more relaxed than I originally was, and sleepy most of the time, not feisty. I'm feisty, when I'm sober. :)

davids
12-03-2007, 11:07 PM
You're on any planet you want to be on. ;)


Tanks Anna-I feel betterer now!:Hug2::D

truelyana
12-03-2007, 11:08 PM
Tanks Anna-I feel betterer now!:Hug2::D

:Hug2::) Happy to hear.

dolores haze
12-03-2007, 11:09 PM
So I guess it's a good question for the guys - when is a confident woman a turn off?

akiwiguy
12-04-2007, 12:42 AM
So I guess it's a good question for the guys - when is a confident woman a turn off?


When they feel that that is all they can project.

I read a fascinating theory once about human attractiveness, that I think was accurate. Namely, the number one most compelling factor in a person is paradox. Which explains the "women going for rough diamonds" syndrome.

Oddly I find this true in terms of physical attraction. Often it is an imperfection about someone who is otherwise very attractive that turns me on.

And back to the question... a woman who is highly intelligent, successful, confident.. yet is not afraid to show vulnerability... now that's sexy to me.

JLCwrites
12-04-2007, 12:45 AM
So I guess it's a good question for the guys - when is a confident woman a turn off?
When she smacks him upside the head and drags him out of the bar by his hair. (Oh wait.... you said turn OFF. NM)

NeuroFizz
12-04-2007, 12:52 AM
Have a stiff one before you look.
Always good advice.


And who says a confident woman is a turn-off?

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 12:55 AM
Confident, no. Overbearing, yes.

But where's the dividing line?

jst5150
12-04-2007, 01:00 AM
So I guess it's a good question for the guys - when is a confident woman a turn off?
When you're more confident then we are.

Silver King
12-04-2007, 01:19 AM
So I guess it's a good question for the guys - when is a confident woman a turn off?
When you've told her NO! about five times, and she still puts the moves on you. Then she goes into a total meltdown when she realizes she's been rejected. Poor thing. With that approach, she had better get used to being single.

dolores haze
12-04-2007, 01:23 AM
When you've told her NO! about five times, and she still puts the moves on you. Then she goes into a total meltdown when she realizes she's been rejected. Poor thing. With that approach, she had better get used to being single.

I've told and told Voyager to leave you alone, but she won't listen to me.

JLCwrites
12-04-2007, 01:26 AM
Ok... here is a question that I have been pondering for quite some time, and maybe there are some anthropologists out there who know the answer.

In MOST cultures throughout the world, women are treated as inferior. Why?

Silver King
12-04-2007, 02:13 AM
I've told and told Voyager to leave you alone, but she won't listen to me.
Ha! Voyager would only have to ask once, and I'd be forever smitten by her advances. ;)

Voyager
12-04-2007, 02:29 AM
Ha! Voyager would only have to ask once, and I'd be forever smitten by her advances. ;)
Hehe, big daddy man :Hug2:


My hubby gets to look at whoever he wants to, and I claim the same right.

I'm a pointer outer. I'm always saying things like, omg, look at that rack. But he never reciprocates, cuz it's not manly. We've been married long enough to not ask questions just to annoy one another. When footy's on, esp. if it's a Man U game, I just periodically check his pulse and replace the empty with a full.

What I don't get is, although trulyana and Scarpea are strong women, they're also fecking gorgeous, looks and intelligence should trump, ooh she's scary, and if they don't, pfft, his loss. I read your blog today, SP, I hope you go for it. He'd have to be nuts to say no.

Zelenka
12-04-2007, 03:02 AM
Ah, finally I have a question. Are there actually any men out there for whom looks aren't the only or main criterion when it comes to women? Truthfully?

JimmyB27
12-04-2007, 03:29 AM
Ah, finally I have a question. Are there actually any men out there for whom looks aren't the only or main criterion when it comes to women? Truthfully?
Yes, me for one.
I'd be lying if I said looks weren't a factor, but they are certainly not the only one. Not even the most important one. I'd much rather have an intelligent, but physically unnattractive woman than a gorgeous blonde bimbo with all the intelligence of a football fan.
Plus, the looks thing isn't as set in stone as you might think. My best mate considered my major crush in secondary (high) school to be extraordinarily plain, and not attractive at all. To me, she was absolutely gorgeous.

Eskimo1990
12-04-2007, 04:08 AM
Questions for the guys- Why is it most guys talk and flirt with you when not around their friends, but when they are they are total jerks? (Btw, talking high school stuff here) and do they ever grow out of it?

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 04:11 AM
Ah, finally I have a question. Are there actually any men out there for whom looks aren't the only or main criterion when it comes to women? Truthfully?


Yes, me for one.
I'd be lying if I said looks weren't a factor, but they are certainly not the only one. Not even the most important one. I'd much rather have an intelligent, but physically unnattractive woman than a gorgeous blonde bimbo with all the intelligence of a football fan.
Plus, the looks thing isn't as set in stone as you might think. My best mate considered my major crush in secondary (high) school to be extraordinarily plain, and not attractive at all. To me, she was absolutely gorgeous.

I have a question for men and women.

Why do so many people appear to believe looks and personality are mutually exclusive?

And I ask this as someone who admits without shame that the first thing she notices about a man is his looks.

Anyone who claims to be impressed by someone's personality first off is lying. You can't see someone's intelligence or persona. You see their face. You only get to know what they're like as a person through time.

We all judge books by their covers.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 04:16 AM
I have a question for men and women.

Why do so many people appear to believe looks and personality are mutually exclusive?

And I ask this as someone who admits without shame that the first thing she notices about a man is his looks.

Anyone who claims to be impressed by someone's personality first off is lying. You can't see someone's intelligence or persona. You see their face. You only get to know what they're like as a person through time.

We all judge books by their covers.

I don't discard looks, but they have never really played an important role in my past experiences although they are the essence and key to our souls. I've never been much to notice, usually approached people because of what they were like. Their looks are not the give away, but their aura is. I'm intuitive from that respect. I always know if I'm going to get on with a person or not, and I draw myself to them instantly if I am. This usually happens if I'm at a distance, and I've never talked to them before.

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 04:24 AM
I have a question for men and women.

Why do so many people appear to believe looks and personality are mutually exclusive?

And I ask this as someone who admits without shame that the first thing she notices about a man is his looks.

Anyone who claims to be impressed by someone's personality first off is lying. You can't see someone's intelligence or persona. You see their face. You only get to know what they're like as a person through time.

We all judge books by their covers.

They're not mutually exclusive. Somebody can get made fun of for their looks and for somebody's personality they may dress as they please. But, the hope in believing that they're mutually exclusive is to give ugly people hope because a lot of times it's not their fault that they're ugly.

I'm usually not impressed by somebody's personality first off (That is, unless I met them first off online or through a written paper or something that shows off their personality but not their appearance), but some people have more blatant personalities than others. Looks are only one part of a first impression, but personality is portrayed through more than intelligence, it's through things like posture, tone of voice, eye contact, things that don't necessarily have to do with 'looks.' Confidence and other attractive features can be portrayed through different ways than flat-out appearance. A pretty face isn't so much important as the expression on it.

If that makes any sense.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 04:31 AM
I usually end up finding men attractive if they stimulate my mind, that's true, but if a guy's f-ugly there ain't nothing gonna make me fancy him. He could have the brains of Einstein, the wit of Stephen Fry and the schlong of John Holmes, but if he's got the face of John Merrick, it ain't gonna happen.

If that makes me superficial, so be it. But the next man I sleep with has got to give me that feeling of chemistry as well as having the personality to match, or it's going nowhere.

Of course, what I find attractive and what someone else finds attractive are often two different things, but I have to fancy a man physically before I let him into my bed.

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 04:34 AM
I usually end up finding men attractive if they stimulate my mind, that's true, but if a guy's f-ugly there ain't nothing gonna make me fancy him. He could have the brains of Einstein, the wit of Stephen Fry and the schlong of John Holmes, but if he's got the face of John Merrick, it ain't gonna happen.

If that makes me superficial, so be it. But the next man I sleep with has got to give me that feeling of chemistry as well as having the personality to match, or it's going nowhere.

Of course, what I find attractive and what someone else finds attractive are often two different things, but I have to fancy a man physically before I let him into my bed.

I don't think anybody's asking you to bed and ugly guy, but somebody being ugly wouldn't stop you from being friends, would it? Usually a boyfriend/girlfriend has to be somewhat sexually attractive to the other.

I thought you were just talking about... any time. I blame innocence.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 04:40 AM
Well, discussion of the men/women dynamic usually leads to talk of relationships.

If someone was so ugly they turned my stomach rather than my head, then...I'd politely suggest we conduct an email relationship so I didn't have to look at them. :D

Okay, with me, it usually happens this way. I look at someone and privately put a tick or a cross against their face when it comes to thinking, "Hmm, there's potential," or "Never in a million years." We all have our own physical preferences, after all. And from the 'ticked' list - God, I sound really, really superficial now - there usually develops a crush or a flirtation, after I get to know an individual better. They could say or do something, or I could find out we have an interest in common, or our senses of humour could bounce really well off each other, and from thinking, "Yeah, he's all right," it becomes a case of, "I really, really want to rip your clothes off and-"

[This post has been edited for fear of little children being scared.]

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 04:49 AM
Ok... here is a question that I have been pondering for quite some time, and maybe there are some anthropologists out there who know the answer.

In MOST cultures throughout the world, women are treated as inferior. Why?

It probably has something to do with protective instinct. Woman = baby maker. Baby must be protected. Also, considering less muscle mass, it gives the impression of a woman being physically weak and in need of protection. A society that functions on this, with women being in protection, eventually leads women to be dependent on men. At least, to men, being dependent is being weak and inferior. This causes the belief that woman should not have a say because she's dependent. This causes the rather schizophrenic divide between idealizing women (as is the original protective instinct) and hating them (for being weak and dependent on them) for men. Women have a similar, but altered perspective (men being protector, but also being stifling bastards).

I think that's it.

maestrowork
12-04-2007, 06:55 AM
My husband was shy when we first met. Plus, we worked together and we had that whole "office politics" thing going.

Guys have to be careful, and beat over the head with specific instructions. Not only because guys are kind of stupid when it comes to "signs" or "body language" but also because if we make a mistake, we can get a hand print on our face or the cops being called for harassment. Seriously, we guys are easy to read: the gawking, the drooling, and even the shy glances or tongue-tiedness are clear signs that we like you. I think you ladies are attuned to that kind of non-verbal signals. All it takes is for the woman to say, "Hey, let's go out." The man is yours. So much time wasted because the guy is not sure... "clearly she's not interested in a dork like me. She looks away whenever I see her as if I don't even exist."

Cassiopeia
12-04-2007, 07:57 AM
For the ladies: why won't you make the first move or show at least a hint of interest? Why make the man you're interested in guess?uh ditto. :D

Zelenka
12-04-2007, 01:25 PM
I have a question for men and women.

Why do so many people appear to believe looks and personality are mutually exclusive?

And I ask this as someone who admits without shame that the first thing she notices about a man is his looks.

Anyone who claims to be impressed by someone's personality first off is lying. You can't see someone's intelligence or persona. You see their face. You only get to know what they're like as a person through time.

We all judge books by their covers.

I don't believe they're mutually exclusive. I only asked because, as someone who is not at all physically attractive, I've heard the 'some guys go for personality' thing a lot and wanted to know if it was actually true. Since I've gone my whole life without anyone asking me for a date, I suspected the sort of answer you've given, that personality's a factor but you need the looks to get noticed in the first place.

Bmwhtly
12-04-2007, 01:38 PM
We all judge books by their covers.*Prepares analogy stretching device*

It's true. A nice cover grabs your attention. And it looks so nice there on the shelf.
But unless the book itself is good, you're not going to curl up of an evening and read it.

The converse is as true. The book might be perfect, but if the cover is woven out of human excrement, you're not going to read it.

And while some great books have nice covers, they're usually sold out. So a compromise on cover or content is usually made.

*lets poor, deformed analogy off the rack*

waylander
12-04-2007, 02:09 PM
I don't believe they're mutually exclusive. I only asked because, as someone who is not at all physically attractive, I've heard the 'some guys go for personality' thing a lot and wanted to know if it was actually true. Since I've gone my whole life without anyone asking me for a date, I suspected the sort of answer you've given, that personality's a factor but you need the looks to get noticed in the first place.


It's a bit like getting an agent. Ultimately it is all about the writing, but you've got to have a good query letter to catch their interest first.

eodmatt
12-04-2007, 02:13 PM
At my age, almost any kind of attention from a female is a turn on! :e2cloud9:

Bmwhtly
12-04-2007, 02:15 PM
At my age, almost any kind of attention from a female is a turn on! :e2cloud9:That's not just an age thing :)

eodmatt
12-04-2007, 02:32 PM
I don't believe they're mutually exclusive. I only asked because, as someone who is not at all physically attractive, I've heard the 'some guys go for personality' thing a lot and wanted to know if it was actually true. Since I've gone my whole life without anyone asking me for a date, I suspected the sort of answer you've given, that personality's a factor but you need the looks to get noticed in the first place.

You do yourself a grave injustice. If that really is your picture on your profile, I see a very attractive face. No evidence of extra eyes or a third ear. No permanent bad tempered glower and no temper tantrum lines. You aren't even bald. Not that baldness is a bad thing I hasten to add. My ex wife was bald. Anyway I digress.

Yes indeed, some guys go for personality (the majority in fact). But the personality has to be visible and contactable. You will no doubt have heard the term "airhead", often applied to beautiful but mentally vacuous people? Well I can tell you from experience that once you have minutely explored that perfect figure, enjoyed the looks and envy of others as they see you with your trophy on your arm......... the attraction soon melts away. Unless it is accompanied by something a little less superficial.

Apart from the obvious physical attributes, wanna know what is probably the most attractive part of a female? (Scroll down)>

















A smile! :)


It applies to men too I think.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 02:42 PM
..."clearly she's not interested in a dork like me. She looks away whenever I see her as if I don't even exist."

Hey guys: if you're staring at me and I smile before I look away, I'm looking away because I fancy you so much my eyes hurt.

Ask me out. Go on. I dare you.

seun
12-04-2007, 03:41 PM
Hey guys: if you're staring at me and I smile before I look away, I'm looking away because I fancy you so much my eyes hurt.

Ask me out. Go on. I dare you.

OK. Fancy a pint?

Bmwhtly
12-04-2007, 03:43 PM
Hey guys: if you're staring at me and I smile before I look away, I'm looking away because I fancy you so much my eyes hurt.Was that a smile or a grimace?
Or a sneeze?

Ask me out. Go on. I dare you.No, I think it was a sneeze.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 03:43 PM
OK. Fancy a pint?

Of what?

*knows never to say 'yes' to seun without reading the small print...

seun
12-04-2007, 03:44 PM
Of what?

*knows never to say 'yes' to seun without reading the small print...

:hooray:

I KNEW you would say that. :roll:

Mandy-Jane
12-04-2007, 03:49 PM
Why do men love weeing outside instead of in a toilet? Mine will walk right past the toilet to do it outside. I don't get it.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2007, 04:00 PM
Marking their territory.

eodmatt
12-04-2007, 04:10 PM
OK SP, next time you are in London, how about a visit to the Royal Geographic Society? Hope you like libraries ;)

eodmatt
12-04-2007, 04:15 PM
Why do men love weeing outside instead of in a toilet? Mine will walk right past the toilet to do it outside. I don't get it.

Striking a blow for freedom of expression! http://absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

eodmatt
12-04-2007, 04:18 PM
You know he loves you when he writes your name in yellow letters in the snow. :e2brows:

truelyana
12-04-2007, 04:44 PM
Why do men love weeing outside instead of in a toilet? Mine will walk right past the toilet to do it outside. I don't get it.

I wee outside too, when I have to. That's not about marking my territory, it's just a matter of release or die. I choose release. Ahhhh :)

KTC
12-04-2007, 04:48 PM
Am I wrong?


That's the best you got? The answer is simple. You're a woman...you're always wrong. (You may want the other guys to weigh in...it's up to you.)

Cassiopeia
12-04-2007, 04:54 PM
That's the best you got? The answer is simple. You're a woman...you're always wrong. I think it's absolutely brilliant we have you believing that is true. :)

NeuroFizz
12-04-2007, 05:17 PM
Ah, finally I have a question. Are there actually any men out there for whom looks aren't the only or main criterion when it comes to women? Truthfully?
Yes. Without a doubt.

Looks are for distance reception; intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, sense of adventure, dependability, conscientiousness, authenticity (not fake stuff, including boobs)--those things are for contact reception. If a drop-dead-fine looking woman has less intelligence than my right hand, guess who gets the date? It she doesn't have a glimmer of brightness in her eyes, she can buy her own drinks. If her sense of adventure is trying new lip gloss or getting a new tattoo, I'll pass on that excitement. If she has that "Barbie" look, I'll be gone before she can fluff her fake eyelashes over her colored contact lenses, run her fake fingernails through her not-quite-matching-her-hair-dye-color hair extension, rub lotion on her fake-bake tan, or adjust the cleavage of her fake boobs. I'd rather be in the smallest room of the house taking care of my own needs, thank you.

Intelligence is seductive, particularly when teamed with a wicked sense of humor. All women have the same body parts, and I celebrate the polymorphism--that they all don't look exactly alike. But it's all the inside stuff, the mental and emotional stuff, that makes each woman a unique person worth getting to know or not.

rhymegirl
12-04-2007, 05:55 PM
Intelligence is seductive, particularly when teamed with a wicked sense of humor. All women have the same body parts, and I celebrate the polymorphism--that they all don't look exactly alike. But it's all the inside stuff, the mental and emotional stuff, that makes each woman a unique person worth getting to know or not.

That's very nicely put. Bravo to you, Fizzy!

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 08:07 PM
... If a drop-dead-fine looking woman has less intelligence than my right hand, guess who gets the date? It she doesn't have a glimmer of brightness in her eyes, she can buy her own drinks. If her sense of adventure is trying new lip gloss or getting a new tattoo, I'll pass on that excitement. If she has that "Barbie" look, I'll be gone before she can fluff her fake eyelashes over her colored contact lenses, run her fake fingernails through her not-quite-matching-her-hair-dye-color hair extension, rub lotion on her fake-bake tan, or adjust the cleavage of her fake boobs. I'd rather be in the smallest room of the house taking care of my own needs, thank you.

Intelligence is seductive, particularly when teamed with a wicked sense of humor. All women have the same body parts, and I celebrate the polymorphism--that they all don't look exactly alike. But it's all the inside stuff, the mental and emotional stuff, that makes each woman a unique person worth getting to know or not.


...what planet are you from?

any more like you out there?

Salem
12-04-2007, 08:11 PM
NeuroFizz hit that nail on the head.

And there are many times that I've met someone who was not so attractive physically and after getting to know them, have found them extremely attractive because of their awesome personality and/or sensuality.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 08:14 PM
NeuroFizz hit that nail on the head.

And there are many times that I've met someone who was not so attractive physically and after getting to know them, have found them extremely attractive because of their awesome personality and/or sensuality.

That's the beauty of people. :)

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 08:16 PM
NeuroFizz hit that nail on the head.

And there are many times that I've met someone who was not so attractive physically and after getting to know them, have found them extremely attractive because of their awesome personality and/or sensuality.

yeah but you 'n me is goils... we is normally impressed wid udder details besides beautyfulness--

him --male, that is da difference.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 08:21 PM
yeah but you 'n me is goils... we is normally impressed wid udder details besides beautyfulness--

him --male, that is da difference.

Male and not beautiful? Is someone being 'male' so alienating to you? Can you not see the divine nature of human kindness beneath that exterior?

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 08:29 PM
Male and not beautiful? Is someone being 'male' so alienating to you? Can you not see the divine nature of human kindness beneath that exterior?

:Huh: um? somethin's got lost in da translation...

or i'm on my second Beaujolais 'n it no compute...?

truelyana
12-04-2007, 08:32 PM
:Huh: um? somethin's got lost in da translation...

or i'm on my second Beaujolais 'n it no compute...?

I would like to understand from your point of view, why someone being a 'male' makes a difference? Putting aside the ginetics and the physical features, we are all universal and human.

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 08:36 PM
I would like to understand from your point of view, why someone being a 'male' makes a difference? Underlining the ginetics and the physical features, we are all universal and human.

ahh :D

well. all i's sayin' is -- pam anderson IZ DA BOMB 99.9999999...99999 %. usually. fer male males dat iz. me just shocked there be one who no think so, iz all.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 08:41 PM
ahh :D

well. all i's sayin' is -- pam anderson IZ DA BOMB 99.9999999...99999 %. usually. fer male males dat iz. me just shocked there be one who no think so, iz all.

She is a bomb, she's beautiful, intelligent, smart and funny. :) I gather you mean just appearance, and that's perfectly alright. We all tick in different ways, whether it be it 'male' or 'female'. It doesn't really matter that, it's who we are, and what we experience that counts. :D

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 08:42 PM
oh salem -- why ya gone 'n deleted yer post??? i wanna know what ya sayeth. huh??

maestrowork
12-04-2007, 08:45 PM
I never date anyone based on looks alone. That's not to say I'll go home with the smartest but ugliest person -- sexual attraction still has to be there. But definitely personality and intelligence trump everything else. Also, we have to "click."

JimmyB27
12-04-2007, 09:11 PM
ahh :D

well. all i's sayin' is -- pam anderson IZ DA BOMB 99.9999999...99999 %. usually. fer male males dat iz. me just shocked there be one who no think so, iz all.
Pamela Anderson is hideous. As is Jordan, and most, if not all of the plastically 'enhanced' women out there. And the pity is, they were so often beautiful before.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:12 PM
Pamela Anderson is hideous. As is Jordan, and most, if not all of the plastically 'enhanced' women out there. And the pity is, they were so often beautiful before.

Have you not even considered to see what is beyond, a physical attribute? Just because, someone may not look pleasing to an eye on the outside, doesn't mean they remain 'hideous'.

JimmyB27
12-04-2007, 09:15 PM
Have you not even considered to see what is beyond, a physical attribute? Just because, someone may not look pleasing to an eye on the outside, doesn't mean they remain 'hideous'.
Well, yes, obviously (see my earlier post). But it's sort of hard to judge someone I've only ever seen on TV/in magazines on anything but looks ;)

Salem
12-04-2007, 09:16 PM
Chemistry is 99.99999% for me. I think that's true for a lot of people.

I think one of the biggest differences between men and women is that men will go home with someone who is a bit below their standards far more often than a woman will.

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:18 PM
Chemistry is 99.99999% for me. I think that's true for a lot of people.

I think one of the biggest differences between men and women is that men will go home with someone who is a bit below their standards far more often than a woman will.

...define 'standards' ;)

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:18 PM
Well, yes, obviously (see my earlier post). But it's sort of hard to judge someone I've only ever seen on TV/in magazines on anything but looks ;)

Fair enough. I often see far beyond appearance, and feel who they are intuitevely not by judging, but just feeling.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:19 PM
Chemistry is 99.99999% for me. I think that's true for a lot of people.

I think one of the biggest differences between men and women is that men will go home with someone who is a bit below their standards far more often than a woman will.

What's the 99.99999% about?

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:25 PM
My question for the men is, how can you not see stuff that's right in front of you?

My DH will say "where's the cooking spray?"

"It's in the cupboard where it belongs, on the right hand side."

"Nope. I looked. It's not there."

"It's probably behind something. Look again."

"I did. It's not there."

Inevitably, when I open the cupboard, it will be EXACTLY where I said it was. I have this sort of conversation/turn of events with DH about 27 times a week. Can anyone explain why men are blind the obvious?

it's script already: he 'knows' he cannot see it / is not there, hence he does not see -- only you can see it. see?

davids
12-04-2007, 09:28 PM
It is so nice to be at an age when confusion is acceptable!!!

davids
12-04-2007, 09:31 PM
Yes. Without a doubt.

Looks are for distance reception; intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, sense of adventure, dependability, conscientiousness, authenticity (not fake stuff, including boobs)--those things are for contact reception. If a drop-dead-fine looking woman has less intelligence than my right hand, guess who gets the date? It she doesn't have a glimmer of brightness in her eyes, she can buy her own drinks. If her sense of adventure is trying new lip gloss or getting a new tattoo, I'll pass on that excitement. If she has that "Barbie" look, I'll be gone before she can fluff her fake eyelashes over her colored contact lenses, run her fake fingernails through her not-quite-matching-her-hair-dye-color hair extension, rub lotion on her fake-bake tan, or adjust the cleavage of her fake boobs. I'd rather be in the smallest room of the house taking care of my own needs, thank you.

Intelligence is seductive, particularly when teamed with a wicked sense of humor. All women have the same body parts, and I celebrate the polymorphism--that they all don't look exactly alike. But it's all the inside stuff, the mental and emotional stuff, that makes each woman a unique person worth getting to know or not.

Yes yes but at the same time a nice pair of tits and a tight ass coupled with a blank stare can do wonders-I forget-can they?

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:33 PM
Yes yes but at the same time a nice pair of tits and a tight ass coupled with a blank stare can do wonders...

:roll:

that i recognize :D

JLCwrites
12-04-2007, 09:35 PM
Fair enough. I often see far beyond appearance, and feel who they are intuitevely not by judging, but just feeling.
Feeling what? :e2brows:

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:37 PM
Feeling what? :e2brows:

I knew someone was bound to ask sooner or later. lol. Was not sure, how to phrase it. Feeling linked with intuition and picking up their air and who they are. I used to have a hard time dealing with it in the past, as it made me really frustrated that I was picking up everyones negativity and day to day occurrances. I have learned to manage it, by not being so open to everyone completetly, but still open to the point of aknowledging who they are, without their whole life experiences attached. Just by seeing someone on a train, I know who they are, where their from, and what their like without having to speak to them, by just just picking it up like a radar.

JLCwrites
12-04-2007, 09:40 PM
I knew someone was bound to ask sooner or later. lol. Was not sure, how to phrase it. Feeling linked with intuition and picking up their air and who they are. I used to have a hard time dealing with it before, as it made me really frustrated that I was picking up everyones negativity and day to day occurrances, but I have learned to manage it where I'm not so open to everyone, but still open to the point of aknowledging who they are, without their whole life experiences attached.
So you were quick to pick up on their imperfections?

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:47 PM
So you were quick to pick up on their imperfections?

I pick up more on what their like through energy and light, that's who we are. Imperfections and perfections are all part of our experiences, not what makes us. It's all quite interesting..

..Children are like this too. They sense, and know a lot.

Talking of which, I can communicate so well with them without words cause they see me for who I truly am. :D

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:50 PM
Pamela Anderson is hideous. As is Jordan, and most, if not all of the plastically 'enhanced' women out there. And the pity is, they were so often beautiful before.

i respect that view but cannot blame them. insecurity is a terrible affliction and most of us suffer from it -- the 'enhancements' were a healing of the self solution for them. if it makes them happy --whatever hapiness is to each and all -- good.
we each are d i f f e r e n t pods.

davids
12-04-2007, 09:51 PM
Thank Christ I have dark sunglasses or you would be soooo blind Ana-really you would-aha-like Dave is-um-er-never mind-I would like to know why women only look at me because I am feelthy rich-kind-loving and easy to push around-why do not they see the part of me that is more important? Why oh why must I suffer as I do and only because women just wanna pet me on the top of the head and tell me-never mind keep taking those pills-yes those ones-oh you do not need them? Really? And you are rich? Come here honey never mind the quality-feel the width-I run now away from the ridicule that is sure to come this less then eruditic post-luv Dave

Salem
12-04-2007, 09:53 PM
I have to admit, though, sometimes just the sight of certain people is enough to get me all worked up so I can't completely discount looks.

And dispite what people say about Pam Anderson being so plastic, there is something about her that is still so damn sexy. And everyone I've ever heard of who's worked with her always says she is one of the nicest people they've ever met.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:53 PM
i respect that view but cannot blame them. insecurity is a terrible affliction and most of us suffer from it -- the 'enhancements' were a healing of the self solution for them. if it makes them happy --whatever hapiness is to each and all -- good.
we each are d i f f e r e n t pods.

Insecurity is not a sufficient reason for a person to want plastic surgery. The decision stems from a personal choice, which we are not part of.

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:54 PM
I knew someone was bound to ask sooner or later. lol. Was not sure, how to phrase it. Feeling linked with intuition and picking up their air and who they are. I used to have a hard time dealing with it in the past, as it made me really frustrated that I was picking up everyones negativity and day to day occurrances. I have learned to manage it, by not being so open to everyone completetly, but still open to the point of aknowledging who they are, without their whole life experiences attached. Just by seeing someone on a train, I know who they are, where their from, and what their like without having to speak to them, by just just picking it up like a radar.

that gift -- use it wisely. god's zoo spans high&low. there are those who will fool you as easily as you'd thought them pegged.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:54 PM
I have to admit, though, sometimes just the sight of certain people is enough to get me all worked up so I can't completely discount looks.

And dispite what people say about Pam Anderson being so plastic, there is something about her that is still so damn sexy. And everyone I've ever heard of who's worked with her always says she is one of the nicest people they've ever met.

That's because it's true, she is. She's a wonderful person. :)

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:57 PM
Insecurity is not a sufficient reason for a person to want plastic surgery. The decision stems from a personal choice, in which we are not part of.

choice is determined by raw emotion more often than not.

...oh hell i's getin' tooooo serious here. ride on friends, ain't gonna rain on yer parade no mo' ;)

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 09:59 PM
... And dispite what people say about Pam Anderson being so plastic, there is something about her that is still so damn sexy. And everyone I've ever heard of who's worked with her always says she is one of the nicest people they've ever met.

yer ain't seen her private videos then huh.

(damn. i'm outta here.)

truelyana
12-04-2007, 09:59 PM
choice is determined by raw emotion more often than not.

...oh hell i's getin' tooooo serious here. ride on friends, ain't gonna rain on yer parade no mo' ;)

Not necessarily. Emotion is not the only key driver. We are, and we have the power to override emotion any time we want to. :Hug2:Not serious at all. :) Just sharing. ;)

jst5150
12-04-2007, 10:00 PM
I'll throw this out there for discussion already knowing the answer. However, as a public service, others might want it straight from the source:

Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?

truelyana
12-04-2007, 10:00 PM
yer ain't seen her private videos then huh.

(damn. i'm outta here.)

So, what? We are human, and can do what we like. :) :Hug2:

Salem
12-04-2007, 10:01 PM
Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?

That has always baffled me! If I didn't like the way my man was I would go and find a different man that fit my criteria.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 10:04 PM
I'll thorw this out there for discussion already knowing the answer. However, as a public service, others might want it straight from the source:

Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?

I've never wanted to change anything about a person. I always like the way they are.

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 10:04 PM
I'll thorw this out there for discussion already knowing the answer. However, as a public service, others might want it straight from the source:

Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?

:roll:

because. a woman's man is not his own self, he is (or better become) her ideal man, the knight in shining armor, The One.

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 10:05 PM
hm. really goin' now. bye.

TrainofThought
12-04-2007, 10:10 PM
Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?Not all do. Some of us just want men to look normal and quit being dorky, needy, slobs… Basically stop expecting us to be your mother. :D

JLCwrites
12-04-2007, 10:20 PM
That has always baffled me! If I didn't like the way my man was I would go and find a different man that fit my criteria.
Ditto. I was never one to waste time on the wrong guy.

cray
12-04-2007, 10:33 PM
Not all do. Some of us just want men to look normal and quit being dorky, needy, slobs… Basically stop expecting us to be your mother. :D


mommy

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 10:39 PM
I'll throw this out there for discussion already knowing the answer. However, as a public service, others might want it straight from the source:

Why do women want to fix/change/alter/revise/edit a man once they've got them?

You've got your novel. That means it's time to whip out that red pen and do some editing.

Some women believe that any piece of tripe can become presentable with enough editing. Why waste time on something impossible when you can work on what you've got? It's the same reason a novelist spends time chopping up and revising a work they're starting to lose interest in.

I've never been in love, but it's a guess.

maestrowork
12-04-2007, 10:39 PM
Ladies: What are in your purse?

Zelenka
12-04-2007, 10:43 PM
Ladies: What are in your purse?

My whole life. And a packet of mini cheddars.

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 10:44 PM
Ladies: What are in your purse?


I don't carry around a purse. I hate them with a steaming passion.

Although occasionally I do have a bag with a notebook/pencils/sketchbook in it. Maybe a comic. And tampons. Don't forget the tampons.

seun
12-04-2007, 10:48 PM
Not all do. Some of us just want men to look normal and quit being dorky, needy, slobs… Basically stop expecting us to be your mother. :D


I love my mum.

Anyway, what's the deal with girls and chocolate? I mean, really?

Angelinity
12-04-2007, 10:53 PM
I love my mum.

Anyway, what's the deal with girls and chocolate? I mean, really?

sure you really wanna know? you might feel slighted as a man -- just sayin'.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 11:04 PM
I love my mum.

Anyway, what's the deal with girls and chocolate? I mean, really?

The same with men and beer. ;) Go figure.

AlleyNV
12-04-2007, 11:11 PM
In my purse I have things ranging from beauty products to books and paper and of course my camera. basically my whole life

As for the chocolate that's a good question. Besides the fact that it's so good? I read somewhere that chocolate contains some type of chemical that makes us feel better.

truelyana
12-04-2007, 11:12 PM
In my purse I have things ranging from beauty products to books and paper and of course my camera. basically my whole life

As for the chocolate that's a good question. Besides the fact that it's so good? I read somewhere that chocolate contains some type of chemical that makes us feel better.

Just like cigarettes.

Hapax Legomenon
12-04-2007, 11:31 PM
Okay, question.

Guys: Why do you all seem to think that girls are incomprehensible? I never really go that.

C.bronco
12-04-2007, 11:57 PM
Ladies: What are in your purse?
Way too many coins, a brush, phone, receipts, a water bill, wallet, chapstick, make up (but not usually unless I'm running late in the morning) pens, keys, pictures of my son, assorted lint and a scrunchy hair-thingy.

truelyana
12-05-2007, 12:01 AM
Ladies: What are in your purse?

Money=notes, coins and cards. Sometimes a packet of tissues and a pen and paper.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:04 AM
Okay, question.

Guys: Why do you all seem to think that girls are incomprehensible? I never really go that.

I don't think they are incomprehensible. It's all about communication. But there are times when
I feel that women want me to "get it" by myself -- meaning, they wouldn't tell me what was wrong, what was bothering her, what my problem was... they wanted me to figure it out because "if I loved" her, I should know. Obviously, not everyone is like that, but it happened more often than I liked that I started to wonder, do women really think we're psychics?

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 12:07 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

(And for the record, if you recognize yourself in this post I applaud you.:)
(Also, I don't buy the "it's more comfortable" argument. I can't disprove it but I don't buy it.)

Hapax Legomenon
12-05-2007, 12:08 AM
I don't think they are incomprehensible. It's all about communication. But there are times when
I feel that women want me to "get it" by myself -- meaning, they wouldn't tell me what was wrong, what was bothering her, what my problem was... they wanted me to figure it out because "if I loved" her, I should know. Obviously, not everyone is like that, but it happened more often than I liked that I started to wonder, do women really think we're psychics?

You mean... you mean men aren't psychics like us? I guess I've got to remember that now...

truelyana
12-05-2007, 12:09 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

(And for the record, if you recognize yourself in this post I applaud you.:)
(Also, I don't buy the "it's more comfortable" argument. I can't disprove it but I don't buy it.)

Go for it. It's your moment, if you want to look, just look. ;) I know I would. :) Beauty in all it's form and glory. :D

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:10 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

(And for the record, if you recognize yourself in this post I applaud you.:)
(Also, I don't buy the "it's more comfortable" argument. I can't disprove it but I don't buy it.)

I'm not a lady, but my answer is: Look. Gawk. Drool. That's what I do.
It will make them feel happy, too.

Unless, of course, you're CarrotTop.

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:17 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

(And for the record, if you recognize yourself in this post I applaud you.:)
(Also, I don't buy the "it's more comfortable" argument. I can't disprove it but I don't buy it.)

There are many women who wear attire to the gym that is designed to draw attention to themselves. Most likely they are the same women that wear make-up and apply perfume before working out. You will most likely never see them sweat and they tend to spend little time on each machine.

That would not be me. I am at the gym to get a workout. I'd much rather be running outside in the fresh air than stuck on a treadmill/or elliptical. I do not enjoy the "meat market" mentality that occurs at many gyms. Nothing annoys me more than to look around the room and notice that a guy is staring at my chest while I'm working out. It's happened and it is obnoxious. But maybe I only say that since I am married with kids...

PS
That is why I frequently wear my shiny ring, in hopes of detering gawking...

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:21 AM
That is why I frequently wear my shiny ring, in hopes of detering gawking...

If you're hawt, they'll gawk, no matter wawt.

truelyana
12-05-2007, 12:23 AM
If you're hawt, they'll gawk, no matter wawt.

It's a translation of appreciation. :)

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:24 AM
If you're hawt, they'll gawk, no matter wawt.

I know. I get it at business meetings all the time too.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:25 AM
Enjoy it. I love it when the ladies stare at my ass.

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 12:26 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

(And for the record, if you recognize yourself in this post I applaud you.:)
(Also, I don't buy the "it's more comfortable" argument. I can't disprove it but I don't buy it.)There's nothing wrong with noticing because we all do, it's the immature scene that men play out that's irritating and :( to me. But hey, as long as the women haven't said anything or slapped you go for it.

I have to disagree with Kadea. Not all women wearing tight spandex shorts and a sports bra are there for appearances and to draw attention. Then again, Kadea does live in Orange County. :D

Along the same lines, why do men think women are jealous when men make comments or stare at other women? We all talk and look it’s just how you go about it. So, do you always assume your lover is jealous, or do other understandable reasons pop into your head?

With a follow up, why do men get upset when their lover doesn't get jealous?

*ToT is wasting time when she should be working* Shhh....

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:26 AM
Just this morning I had a meeting with a guy that I've met with several times. He asked if I was married, he hadn't noticed a ring! Uh, mine is a little hard to miss! Men can be so predictable.

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:29 AM
And yes ToT. Living in good old OC might be part of the problem.

Pet peeve:
Girls (and guys sometimes) that sit on their cell phones throughout their ENTIRE workout. uh... NEWS FLASH: You are not working out hard enough if you can carry on a conversation like that while on the LifeStepper!

Jacob
12-05-2007, 12:30 AM
Oh, oh, oh ..me.. me.....me..If these have been asked Im sorry I havent read through the whole thread.
1. Do women dress up more for men or each other or no one.(and why do some women not like to be checked out by men whilst they are wearing an outfit wich should never have left the closet...imo
2. Why is it that sometimes a women will show all the signs of interest(not sure what those are) untill of course, you tell her you are interested and then she hits you with the dreaded "friend speech".
3.I think the why do some women go for jerks question has been raised already. This remains to me the 8th wonder of the world.
.LADIES? :)

Liam Jackson
12-05-2007, 12:32 AM
Ah, but what's the answer?

10. The answer is definitely 10. No, wait...it's red. Ermm...Volkswagon?

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 12:35 AM
Pet peeve:
Girls (and guys sometimes) that sit on their cell phones throughout their ENTIRE workout. uh... NEWS FLASH: You are not working out hard enough if you can carry on a conversation like that while on the LifeStepper!

I'm with you there. It doesn't seem to be a gender thing, as far as I've noticed. But it's so incredibly inconsiderate and annoying... but what ya gonna do?! You can't tell them to hang up, there's no rule against it and I even feel petty getting annoyed. So, I usually just try to distract myself by watching a pair of athletic female buns rotating in spandex in front of me....

Eskimo1990
12-05-2007, 12:38 AM
Oh, oh, oh ..me.. me.....me..If these have been asked Im sorry I havent read through the whole thread.
1. Do women dress up more for men or each other or no one.(and why do some women not like to be checked out by men whilst they are wearing an outfit wich should never have left the closet...imo
2. Why is it that sometimes a women will show all the signs of interest(not sure what those are) untill of course, you tell her you are interested and then she hits you with the dreaded "friend speech".
3.I think the why do some women go for jerks question has been raised already. This remains to me the 8th wonder of the world.
.LADIES? :)

1. I hardly dress up. Or I used to do. I'm a pants and t-shirt kind of girl. Recently though I will wear what my friends call 'girly' clothes. IMO, girls dress up more for a guy because we're trying to impress you.
2. I've never done that, but maybe that girl is just a really big flirt.
3. Generally we don't realize the man is a jerk until we're already caught up in the big lie. On occasion we notice it before hand, and sit date them, because some women believe they can change him.

This is all just my opinion though.

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:38 AM
Oh, oh, oh ..me.. me.....me..If these have been asked Im sorry I havent read through the whole thread.
1. Do women dress up more for men or each other or no one.(and why do some women not like to be checked out by men whilst they are wearing an outfit wich should never have left the closet...imo
I dress all for me. I guess my husband benefits from that greatly. :)

2. Why is it that sometimes a women will show all the signs of interest(not sure what those are) untill of course, you tell her you are interested and then she hits you with the dreaded "friend speech".
Some women treat it as a game to see what they can do. I have been known to be flirtatious with zero intention of anything other than friendly. It might be misinterpreted.


3.I think the why do some women go for jerks question has been raised already. This remains to me the 8th wonder of the world.
Can't help you on that one. Jerks are annoying to me and I rarely pay attention to them. Same rule for women... if women are mean I tend to keep my distance.

.LADIES? :)

And about the oogling. There is a major difference between politely checking someone out and being crass about it. I don't mind someone making eye contact then smiling or giving you the look (you know what I mean by that!) and someone simply staring at certain things.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:44 AM
/* looks up */ ... you were saying? /* looks down again */

Seriously though... sometimes you just can't help it. It's reflex. I've caught myself before, and it's embarrassing because I pride myself for being a polite gentleman. But somehow, the eyes just kind of drift and before I know it, I have no idea how long I've been staring...

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:45 AM
Now if you weren't a mod... I'd smack you. (kidding, never "smacked" anyone in my life!)

cray
12-05-2007, 12:50 AM
Now if you weren't a mod... I'd smack you. (kidding, never "smacked" anyone in my life!)

awww man, you don't know what you're missing!

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 12:52 AM
cray enjoys being smacked. don't ask me how i know, i just do.

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:53 AM
You trying to get me in trouble with the management? *shakes head*

Kadea
12-05-2007, 12:53 AM
cray enjoys being smacked. don't ask me how i know, i just do.
I sense more to this story...

NeuroFizz
12-05-2007, 12:55 AM
Let me try to clear up a few pieces of confusion about us males. Why do we stare/oogle/gawk? Our brains have this wonderful penchant for fanticizing, and the fuel that drives it comes from our visual world. We use our "distance reception" for filling that tank so we can play out fantasy after fantasy to fill the lull between our overtly productive minutes. And this is related to why we frequenctly don't hear what you women say when we are in a state of semi- or full relaxation. We're lost in a "little something" (as Winnie the Pooh says about his honey) at the moment. It's extremely important that y'all don't get too upset during this time, because an angry interruption of a fantasy-in-play can do irreparable damage to a neural circuit that may come in handy later in the evening (strictly from an artistic point of view, of course).

Also, on the question of our lack of intuition--see above. Our minds are frequently too busy carry that kind of kilowatt load.

It's a wonder more men don't write erotica. On the other hand, it would probably all come out more like the Penthouse Forum: ...and then the rest of the cheerleading squad showed up...(and five becomes ten--and I'm not talking about people).

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 01:01 AM
Oh, oh, oh ..me.. me.....me..If these have been asked Im sorry I havent read through the whole thread.
1. Do women dress up more for men or each other or no one.(and why do some women not like to be checked out by men whilst they are wearing an outfit wich should never have left the closet...imo
2. Why is it that sometimes a women will show all the signs of interest(not sure what those are) untill of course, you tell her you are interested and then she hits you with the dreaded "friend speech".
3.I think the why do some women go for jerks question has been raised already. This remains to me the 8th wonder of the world.
.LADIES? :)1. Can’t answer, N/A.
2. Are you sure you’re reading the signs correctly? Because if she is holding up this one http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m270/Train_of_Thought/Miscellaneous/tn_r7-8-11.gif, I have to say move on.
3. Can’t answer, N/A

DL Hegel
12-05-2007, 01:01 AM
according to the tomboy-sci-fi-horror-comic book loving gal who had jobs in mainly male dominated fields--yes unfortunately alot of women do want the whole intuition thing. i always shot straight. my husband accepts it. my male and female friends alike--sometimes get annoyed by me telling the truth. men deal with conflict directly-- and once it is done (it is in fact DONE) --i have a hard time with my friendships with other woman because they say one thing and mean another(especially when they are upset). now i don't consider it bad-- i think it is a protection instinct. i have a very good female friend and if i sense something is going on i ask "did i violate the girl rule thing?" that usually calms her down enough so i can figure out whats wrong. if all else fails--throw chocolate-- that is girl for :i am sorry--i don't know what i did--but am i sorry. it is just one gals opinion.
I don't think they are incomprehensible. It's all about communication. But there are times when
I feel that women want me to "get it" by myself -- meaning, they wouldn't tell me what was wrong, what was bothering her, what my problem was... they wanted me to figure it out because "if I loved" her, I should know. Obviously, not everyone is like that, but it happened more often than I liked that I started to wonder, do women really think we're psychics?

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 01:04 AM
1. Can’t answer, N/A.


Does this mean you don't wear clothes? Ahem.. where do you live exactly...?!

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 01:12 AM
Does this mean you don't wear clothes? Ahem.. where do you live exactly...?!;)

Take Highway “I refuse to ask for directions” and keep going. :roll:

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 01:15 AM
;)

Take Highway “I refuse to ask for directions” and keep going. :roll:

Think that's funny, do ya? Yeah? Really? Well how about this - you can jolly well... women always... you look like a... why is it that.... errr... Yeah, wait, I know: Shut up, poopy head!
So there.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 01:16 AM
With GPS who needs directions anyway?

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 01:18 AM
Think that's funny, do ya? Yeah? Really? Well how about this - you can jolly well... women always... you look like a... why is it that.... errr... Yeah, wait, I know: Shut up, poopy head!
So there.:ROFL: You read my mind, sugar snap.

Oh Ray, what happens when the GPS breaks? *shakes head*

Angelinity
12-05-2007, 01:26 AM
i find it infinitely entertaining to observe men watch 'hot' women. that shoudl be called the 'great equaliser' -- all men do it in great earnest regardless of social background, upbringing, culture -- you name it. there are slight differences to be sure, but more similarities than i can name. great show :D

rhymegirl
12-05-2007, 01:26 AM
Ladies,
At my gym there are several attractive women who wear very short, utterly tight spandex shorts and a sports bra. Oh, and shoes.
Now, are we supposed to look? Are we allowed to glimpse? Can we really be expected not to notice (and by "notice" I mean "stare")?
Questions:
1. the girl dressed that way, what is she thinking, expecting?
2. the women not dressed that way, what do they think?

Women dressed that way want you to look. I see the same thing in the summer when I'm walking on the bike path. I don't dress that way, but other women (young women) do.

Vice versa: My husband has worked with women who wear plunging necklines at work. (and they're busty) He notices. How could he not? He tries not to stare, but...

I think women dressed that way in the gym is fine. They're at the gym. But at work? It's not very classy.

NeuroFizz
12-05-2007, 01:27 AM
Ask for directions? See post #221.

Forgetting important dates? See post #221.

Forgetting to put the toilet seat down? See post #221.

Not taking out the garbarge? See post #221.

cray
12-05-2007, 01:32 AM
too lazy to go back to post #221? see post #221

Hapax Legomenon
12-05-2007, 01:33 AM
i find it infinitely entertaining to observe men watch 'hot' women. that shoudl be called the 'great equaliser' -- all men do it in great earnest regardless of social background, upbringing, culture -- you name it. there are slight differences to be sure, but more similarities than i can name. great show :D

XD.

True.

Okay, everybody I have a question.

How come, even though everybody in my family knows that I never wear any jewlery, even to events, keep buying me jewlery? It's a waste of money.

NeuroFizz
12-05-2007, 01:34 AM
XD.

True.

Okay, everybody I have a question.

How come, even though everybody in my family knows that I never wear any jewlery, even to events, keep buying me jewlery? It's a waste of money.
See post #221.

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 01:35 AM
i find it infinitely entertaining to observe men watch 'hot' women. that shoudl be called the 'great equaliser' -- all men do it in great earnest regardless of social background, upbringing, culture -- you name it. there are slight differences to be sure, but more similarities than i can name. great show :D

Although to be fair, we do not discriminate according to the social backgrounds of hot women. We are absolutely consistent on that point and very egalitarian.

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 01:37 AM
too lazy to go back to post #221? see post #221Watching Cray read the threads while scratching his head from confusion – PRICELESS!

By the way, no one answered my questions, which means I stumped everyone.... which means I won... which means I won ABSOLUTELY nothing.

Hapax Legomenon
12-05-2007, 01:39 AM
Watching Cray read the threads while scratching his head from confusion – PRICELESS!

By the way, no one answered my questions, which means I stumped everyone.... which means I won... which means I won ABSOLUTELY nothing.

Which question?

Angelinity
12-05-2007, 01:40 AM
standing up for busty women everywhere... :D clothes were originally meant to protect and keep warm, not to conceal.

bare skin doesn't make me wince -- it's just skin, no big deal there. hey everybody has skin and we all know which parts are under them rags.

sure young or otherwise still-unattached females will try to look their most appealing... after all they're looking for a mate, no? ;)

biology, plain and simple.

TrainofThought
12-05-2007, 01:40 AM
Which question?Post # 207.


sure young or otherwiser still-unattached females will try to look their most appealing... after all they're looking for a mate, no? No. When I wear form fitting clothes, it's because I lost weight, I'm fit and feel good about myself.

MarkEsq
12-05-2007, 01:43 AM
By the way, no one answered my questions, which means I stumped everyone.... which means I won... which means I won ABSOLUTELY nothing.

Okay, quite right, no-one answered your questions, and you were kind enough to answer ours so I'll have a go. They were:

1. "Along the same lines, why do men think women are jealous when men make comments or stare at other women? We all talk and look it’s just how you go about it. So, do you always assume your lover is jealous, or do other understandable reasons pop into your head?"

To the extent I assume a woman is jealous, it's predicated on past experience. I look at a hot girl, my girlfriend gets pissed and makes rude remarks about her. And then about me. I am lucky that my wife doesn't care if I look and, when the occasion presents itself, points out hot chicks. In fact, she brought back a photo from a magazine of Heidi Klum in tight jeans all the way from Florida because she knew I'd get a kick out of it. She rocks.*

2. "With a follow up, why do men get upset when their lover doesn't get jealous?"

N/A. She's not jealous, I'm not upset. I think it has do to with being insecure but I think it's hot when wifey assists my public perving. :)

*On rereading my post it could be inferred that I have a jealous girlfriend AND a non-jealous wife. As of right now, I have only the latter.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:04 AM
:ROFL: You read my mind, sugar snap.

Oh Ray, what happens when the GPS breaks? *shakes head*

Then there's Google Maps.

Ray, who knows how to read a map and have only gotten lost once (without a map) in his life, once

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:05 AM
too lazy to go back to post #221? see post #221

don't bother me. i am fantasizing.

scarletpeaches
12-05-2007, 02:06 AM
So am I. :D

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:07 AM
about the freakish penguin?

scarletpeaches
12-05-2007, 02:09 AM
No. I don't date outside my species. ;)

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:13 AM
That's not what Haggis said (before he died, of course).

scarletpeaches
12-05-2007, 02:14 AM
I had nothing to do with his untimely demise.

How are you this splendid evening, Raymondo? :D

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:16 AM
I've been... wait a minute, what are you trying to hide?

scarletpeaches
12-05-2007, 02:21 AM
Absolutely nothing. This is me in a great mood. Rare, so enjoy it while it lasts.

maestrowork
12-05-2007, 02:22 AM
So how are you this evening, Sweet Peach?