Menopause. Can We Talk?

Not quite there, but I'm definitely losing patience fussing over the foo-foo. Life's too short.
And I can't imagine missing the monthly-nope, good reason to be a bit cheerier once a month.
(yeah yeah, tell that to my hormones)

I can't help but post to this. It really gets to me that people focus so much on women's hormones, as if they rule the day. I don't believe for one moment that that is true.

Yes they may play a part in how we are feeling from day to day but only a part. It isn't like we are mindless puppets at the mercy of hormonal swings. There are many things that help us deal with the effects of hormones and they are accessible for each woman.

But why all this focusing on women and their moods? I mean come on, men are JUST as moody if not more so but they get away with it because we think they are just being "men".

I don't see people running around trying to "fix" them.

Okay so that is my two cents worth and the end of my rant.



For now.

Cassiopeia said:

I can't help but post to this. It really gets to me that people focus so much on women's hormones, as if they rule the day. I don't believe for one moment that that is true.

Yes they may play a part in how we are feeling from day to day but only a part. It isn't like we are mindless puppets at the mercy of hormonal swings. There are many things that help us deal with the effects of hormones and they are accessible for each woman.

But why all this focusing on women and their moods? I mean come on, men are JUST as moody if not more so but they get away with it because we think they are just being "men".

I don't see people running around trying to "fix" them.

Okay so that is my two cents worth and the end of my rant.



For now.

Click to expand...

Amen, a hundred times amen to that!
I absolutely refuse to believe that I am at the mercy of my hormones. And I have known men to be just as moody as women are said to be. My husband most certainly is, and so is my son. In fact, in my family the women are far more stable and emotionally dependable than the men. My daughter right now is an absolute rock to me and the family through an incredibly difficult time, and she's only 17. (Tell you about it sometime!)

I did not experience one single of the negative symptoms of menopause; neither hot flashes nor any kind of crankiness. I also never had PMS, PMT or any of that. I am getting older; I have about 6 grey hairs and I am not as sprightly as I used to be. I feel stiff in the morning, whereas I used to leap out of bed fresh as a puppy.

0

I have a daughter and two sons. Let me tell you, she is far more reasonable and less moody than my sons. I suspect if men were allowed to be more open about things we would see them more stable and less prone to be "moody".

I for one celebrate my hormones and emotions. It's what makes me a woman. Instead of dreading my body's cycles, I recognize their importance and work with it rather than against it. After all what good does it do to bang one's head against the wall? I just keep on going.

I hope I don't alienate anyone with this comment but really, I think all the fuss over female hormones are attention seeking. And I don't mean the occasional complaint about hot hot flashes or monthly cycles, I am talking about those who let it disable them and lay about as if their life is coming to an end.

Who has time for that?

I once had a boyfriend. He was PhD student in Psychology at Harvard, no less. We lived in a sort of commune in a big house in Cambridge, Mass.
The owner of the house told me I could have a corner of the basement to set up a table where I could do a job I had taken on (remember a company claled Illuminations back in the 80's? I worked for them, staplimg decals on to pieces of cardboard!)
So I went to the basement and move a few pieces of stuff out of a corner to prepare a space for myself. These things happened to belong to my so-called boyfriend. He threw a tantrum, yelled at me till he was blue in the face about "invadiing his space".
Another time I put something I had bought for both of us in his room (the doors in that house were never locked). Again, he threw a tantrum like a 2 year old and yelled me out like he was king and I his little servant. Needless to say that relationship did not last long.
When my son gets angry you cannot talk to him. He just yells like there was no tomorrow. Yes, apologizes afterwards but geez, can't he control himself????

Oh dear, that's not what I mean by men being able to express themselves.

I have never cottoned to the idea that tantrums are appropriate on either side of the gender discussions, for any reason. Am I perfect? well, no.

I hate yelling. I hate doing it and I hate it be done to me. I always feel traumatized.

So one asks, is this hormonally driven and one has no choice? I don't think it's a no choice situation. A child has a tantrum until taught better. As adults we are meant to be able to control our reactions. Notice I say reactions, not emotions.

I refused to let menopause make me thoroughly crazy - I welcomed it as an end to the visits from Aunt Flo. I have, however, seen women who went certifiably nuts. I believe it's like anything else in life - some people can handle it, some can't. Some have more severe reactions than others. There were a few days in there where it was a good thing I didn't have easy access to a gun... and I'm about to freeze Ol' Boy out of the bed (I have to have the ceiling fan going AND a window unit AC going at night, even with central air! And I still have to throw the covers off some nights - even in the winter!) but overall, it hasn't been too bad.

Ol' Boy may have another opinion... but he has wisely chosen to keep it to himself and say, "No... it hasn't been too bad," as he reaches for another afghan...

Wow. I have no recollection of that thread. I just fling 'em all willy nilly like, don't I.

OFG...but you are thoroughly crazy?

Where's that gun...

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

I refused to let menopause make me thoroughly crazy - I welcomed it as an end to the visits from Aunt Flo. I have, however, seen women who went certifiably nuts. I believe it's like anything else in life - some people can handle it, some can't. Some have more severe reactions than others. There were a few days in there where it was a good thing I didn't have easy access to a gun... and I'm about to freeze Ol' Boy out of the bed (I have to have the ceiling fan going AND a window unit AC going at night, even with central air! And I still have to throw the covers off some nights - even in the winter!) but overall, it hasn't been too bad.

Ol' Boy may have another opinion... but he has wisely chosen to keep it to himself and say, "No... it hasn't been too bad," as he reaches for another afghan...

Click to expand...

*nods* but I can't imagine you laying about and refusing to carry on with life because "it's just too hard." You are a go getter Jen, and I am sure Ol' boy adores you...icy temps and all.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

Where's that fan...

Click to expand...

Why? Are you experiencing hot flashes?

My words... they're being manipulated... it's like that cartoon with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck where Bugs keeps drawing Daffy into embarrassing costumes and situations... kinda like that avatar of the Colonel's...

Cassiopeia said:

*nods* but I can't imagine you laying about and refusing to carry on with life because "it's just too hard." You are a go getter Jen, and I am sure Ol' boy adores you...icy temps and all.

Click to expand...

No... I love Ol' Boy too much to make him suffer.

Well... except for that temperature thing... I just keep lots of afghans, quilts and blankets around for him. And long johns.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

No... I love Ol' Boy too much to make him suffer.

Well... except for that temperature thing... I just keep lots of afghans, quilts and blankets around for him. And long johns.

Click to expand...

*giggling* oh NOW there's an image for you. The long johns bit.

KTC said:

Wow. I have no recollection of that thread. I just fling 'em all willy nilly like, don't I.

Click to expand...

No. You were having a hot flash.

0

I've always wondered...do men have hot flashes? And I am not talking about their sexual appetites here.

My husband is extremely emotional. He cries almost every day. It has to do with the fact that he now has Parkinsons diesaese and had to retire and has lost all his securities. He is 64 and if he were a woman people would say he is menopausal. Just this morning he cried because I left the house.

aruna said:

My husband is extremely emotional. He cries almost every day. It has to do with the fact that he now has Parkinsons diesaese and had to retire and has lost all his securities. He is 64 and if he were a woman people would say he is menopausal. Just this morning he cried because I left the house.

Click to expand...

awww...aruna *hugs for you both* That's got to be such a challenge for you both.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

I have, however, seen women who went certifiably nuts. I believe it's like anything else in life - some people can handle it, some can't. Some have more severe reactions than others.

Click to expand...

I think this is important. I have never been pretzeled by my hormones, neither in my cycle, nor with pregnancy, and I think it's valuable to take a moment when you feel the crazy coming on to double check if there is really anything wrong. I do this. "Hang on, wait, is this really a big problem? No. Okay, I must be hormonal."

But that's my experience and I feel fortunate. I'd be hard-pressed to tell women crippled by the pharmacist in their heads and bellies to snap out of it. I think that would rather be like yelling at someone with OCD, "Just stop DOING it!" Or someone with depression from serotonin imbalance to not let it get to them.

There's a line where disorders are an excuse for ridiculous behavior, but there's a good bit on the far side of that line that allows for understanding and support.

I never had a single hotflash in my life. I've never been anything but cold. Is it chilly in here?

*gives KTC a blanket*

I haven't entered menopause yet though some say I should have or soon enough and maybe I will become a certifiable loon. I am hoping I will be able to do what Perks just said.

Nice post Perks.

Perks said:

But that's my experience and I feel fortunate. I'd be hard-pressed to tell women crippled by the pharmacist in their heads and bellies to snap out of it. I think that would rather be like yelling at someone with OCD, "Just stop DOING it!" Or someone with depression from serotonin imbalance to not let it get to them.

Click to expand...

Right, I would never tell anyone to snap out of it, male or female. I know how difficult this can be if you are caught up in it. Bu I think that we can learn better strategies in the times we are strong, to deal with the times when we feel weak. I am lucky to have had wonderful people who helped me along when I was younger. Not everyone is this fortunate.

0

Why do all of my posts have a little 0 at the end? I swear I don't put them there.

O. Not all my posts.
Maybe just the ones where I delete a sentence.
Let's try.