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Thump
11-27-2007, 01:47 AM
Pervs like me.

I receive more perv phone calls than anyone I know! Mainly they're the hard-breathing kind (although one of them knew my name which is not listed in the phone book! o.O). Last night though, a rather original one called. He had a nice voice though. Sexy. Anyway, he was pretending I had won a price to shop at a store I never go to (they don't carry my size *sigh*). At 3 AM. Right... like I'm gonna buy that. Oh, and I could hear the TV at the back. Oh...and he was moaning.

I played along for a while, trying to figure out what he wanted to hear most about my choices of underwear. He was taking too long so I hung up. Am I the only one who finds it hilarious to keep these guys going? I mean, other women have asked me if I don't feel dirty, but I don't! They're the ones humiliating themselves.

Plus, it's not every day I'm considered a sex object X-D


I love pervs, I just wish they'd stop waking me up at night.

Zelenka
11-27-2007, 01:57 AM
I feel a little rejected by my pervs to be honest. I haven't had a single dirty phonecall since I moved to Glasgow (other than one guy whom I'd actually given my number, who got drunk as a newt one night and called me at 5am). When I lived in Fife I got loads, but that might've been because my friend thought it was a hilarious idea to write my number up on the wall of the public loos.

Now all I get are wrong numbers looking for the local taxi firm.

Thump
11-27-2007, 02:01 AM
Huh... Maybe someone's been writing my number in bathroom stalls too...

Nah... I don't have that many friends who know my phone number (does that sound sad to you?). Eek! I get more phone calls from perverts than I do from friends! I'll go cut my wrists now...

Anyway, I was talking about it with my friends today and we decided that if I got another one of these calls asking about my underwear, I'll say I buy mine at Salvation Army! X-D I can't wait!

WendyNYC
11-27-2007, 02:24 AM
Oh, pervs loooove me. As do various assortments of weirdos. Come ride the subway with me and we can be a super-powered perv magnet, because there are LOTS of them down there.

Maryn
11-27-2007, 05:36 PM
This feels pretty time-warpy to me. I haven't had an obscene call since caller-ID started. Is it uncommon where you perv-baiters live?

I did used to toy with them. You don't make a one-handed call to a woman who writes both erotica and thrillers leaning toward the twisted. Most often, my responses to his rapidly-breathing questions led toward some sort of penile mutilation or severance. Then he'd hang up, presumably having lost the mood.

Maryn, perverse in her own way, she supposes

Haggis
11-27-2007, 05:39 PM
This feels pretty time-warpy to me. I haven't had an obscene call since caller-ID started. Is it uncommon where you perv-baiters live?

I did used to toy with them. You don't make a one-handed call to a woman who writes both erotica and thrillers leaning toward the twisted. Most often, my responses to his rapidly-breathing questions led toward some sort of penile mutilation or severance. Then he'd hang up, presumably having lost the mood.

Maryn, perverse in her own way, she supposes

Which is exactly why I crossed you off my list.

WendyNYC
11-27-2007, 06:00 PM
This feels pretty time-warpy to me. I haven't had an obscene call since caller-ID started. Is it uncommon where you perv-baiters live?

I did used to toy with them. You don't make a one-handed call to a woman who writes both erotica and thrillers leaning toward the twisted. Most often, my responses to his rapidly-breathing questions led toward some sort of penile mutilation or severance. Then he'd hang up, presumably having lost the mood.

Maryn, perverse in her own way, she supposes

I like this approach. Maybe you could record yourself and send it to Thump.

wyntermoon
11-27-2007, 06:08 PM
I love pervs, I just wish they'd stop waking me up at night.

Ask them to leave a detailed message on your answering machine and you'll get back to them soon.


beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Jaycinth
11-27-2007, 07:02 PM
.....I'm constantly afraid that the city is going to make me dig them up and return them......

dpaterso
11-27-2007, 08:11 PM
Important advice to anyone leaving their own phone number on rest room walls: first check you're in the correct rest room.

-Derek

ZannaPerry
11-27-2007, 08:24 PM
I've had one several weeks ago. They called my cell phone which left me a bit curious whether it was an old boyfriend I did badly wrong to. (Don't get me started) Anyway, he pretended to be from a dating service and I asked what his name was, and he said he couldn't give out names. He sounded hispanic, or trying to.

I hate prank phone calls. They're so annoying and sad for my generation.

Thump
04-08-2009, 08:41 PM
Heh, this thread is still funny :D And guess what, I've had two more perv calls in the past two weeks. I wasn't in the mood for playing this time because I had work in the morning but as soon as I hung up I heard the phone in my flatmate's room go off. LOL. I felt sorry I put her in that position :D

I kind of wish they'd call again but at a civilized hour. I've this looong list of things I want to say but no one to turn off by telling them :(

Wayne K
04-08-2009, 08:46 PM
What's a good time to call?

Thump
04-08-2009, 08:49 PM
What's a good time to call?

LOL :) noon-ish?

Then I can go "sorry, no cherries here." Or something like that...

James81
04-08-2009, 08:52 PM
Lol, sounds like it's time to join the 21st century and get yourself some caller ID.

James81
04-08-2009, 08:52 PM
BTW, is your refridgerator running?

Zipotes
04-08-2009, 09:00 PM
Wow, I've never gotten a perv call, I think that would freak me out.
I have enough real life pervs and oglers to deal with anyway.

Thump
04-08-2009, 09:04 PM
Lol, sounds like it's time to join the 21st century and get yourself some caller ID.

Heh :) University halls of residence... crappy old phones :p Besides, even if I had caller ID, I think I'd still pick up. It's interactive comedy and some of them are actually quite clever.

There was this one guy who pretended we'd been at the same high school and started chatting me up quickly going into very...er...personal territory. Of course, I knew what he was doing from the start. I went to a tiny school where I knew everyone's names :) But he got extra points for being original.

Pagey's_Girl
04-08-2009, 09:05 PM
BTW, is your refridgerator running?

Not since it took up Tae-Bo.

kikilynn
04-08-2009, 09:08 PM
My best friends a perv. every time we talk he asks me to send him a sexy pic or tells me about a dream he had about me. I love him, but he's strange. we've been friends for 22 years almost 23.

Leukman
04-08-2009, 09:10 PM
Well I don't get perv calls. But I get lots of wrong numbers. And those you simply MUST have fun with. I generally try my best to start some kind of domestic/romantic dispute between the caller and whoever it is they're looking for. Too easy. Like candy from a child...:D

Wayne K
04-08-2009, 09:10 PM
My best friends a perv.

You had me right here...

James81
04-08-2009, 09:12 PM
My best friends a perv. every time we talk he asks me to send him a sexy pic

Oh yeah, sexy pics are a must. :D

It also helps, if we're talking on the phone. for you (general you) to tell us what you are wearing in a sexy voice.

Ambrosia
04-08-2009, 09:12 PM
I had one a few years ago that kept calling. I decided after the third time it wasn't a coincidence, pulled out a King James Bible and started quoting scriptures to him. He never called back.

Sophia
04-08-2009, 09:14 PM
It also helps, if we're talking on the phone. for you (general you) to tell us what you are wearing in a sexy voice.

My perv caller was clearly a beginner because he wanted me to ask him what he was wearing. Bless.

BenPanced
04-08-2009, 09:15 PM
My mother got one where the guy was going on about a new shoe store that was opening at a shopping center and what size she wore and blah blah blah. She strung him along for about 20 minutes before she finally broke down and started laughing at him.

Ambrosia
04-08-2009, 09:17 PM
:roll:
My perv caller was clearly a beginner because he wanted me to ask him what he was wearing. Bless.

James81
04-08-2009, 09:19 PM
My perv caller was clearly a beginner because he wanted me to ask him what he was wearing. Bless.

lol

Damn rookies.

Wayne K
04-08-2009, 09:39 PM
Originally Posted by ElaraSophia
My perv caller was clearly a beginner because he wanted me to ask him what he was wearing. Bless.

What was he wearing?

scarletpeaches
04-08-2009, 09:41 PM
I've never had a perv caller.

Plenty of booty calls, but never a random perv. Dammit. I'm missing out.

James81
04-08-2009, 09:53 PM
I've never had a perv caller.

Plenty of booty calls, but never a random perv. Dammit. I'm missing out.

Give me your digits.

Wayne K
04-08-2009, 10:11 PM
I'm in.

Snowstorm
04-08-2009, 10:16 PM
I did used to toy with them. You don't make a one-handed call to a woman who writes both erotica and thrillers leaning toward the twisted. Most often, my responses to his rapidly-breathing questions led toward some sort of penile mutilation or severance. Then he'd hang up, presumably having lost the mood.

:roll: Too funny Maryn! I've only had one obscene call, spooky because back then my then-husband was deployed. I didn't wait the little git to say really anything, I just started insulting him, like, "Is it painful to be impotent?" and hung up. Gee, I never got a return phone call.

anne_marie
04-08-2009, 10:16 PM
Huh... Maybe someone's been writing my number in bathroom stalls too...

Nah... I don't have that many friends who know my phone number (does that sound sad to you?). Eek! I get more phone calls from perverts than I do from friends! I'll go cut my wrists now...

Anyway, I was talking about it with my friends today and we decided that if I got another one of these calls asking about my underwear, I'll say I buy mine at Salvation Army! X-D I can't wait!


LOlI had one of those once. I told the guy that I did not wear underwear which seemed to get his interest and then I finished off by saying that I prefer to go with Depends Adult Protective undergarments and just toss them out with the trash at the end of the day. He seemed kind of grossed out :P

Maryn
04-08-2009, 10:45 PM
Anne Marie, I think I like you. A lot!

Maryn, impressed

Shail
04-08-2009, 11:04 PM
Er--no pervie calls for me either, but plenty of in-person sickos. They seem to think I'd be an easy score since I'm blond and chubby. I tell them I have to check in with my psychologist and my parole officer before I leave with 'em. Usually backs 'em right off. If not, I explain how I immasculated the last guy. What is it about blonds?

Devil Ledbetter
04-09-2009, 12:05 AM
I used to get perv calls but I got rid of them long before caller ID. I quit taking Ann Landers' advice to "just hang up." It really doesn't work. Instead, I came up with creative ways to ruin their masturbation fantasies. Hack your ball off with a rusty machete works wonders.

MaryMumsy
04-09-2009, 01:55 AM
Haven't gotten a perv phone call in years. When I was in college we had two who weren't on the phone. 'Freddie the Flasher' and 'George the Grabber'. They would both show up the first week or so of a new semester. You know, new freshmen and transfer students. They each got their comeuppance. Freddie was in the parking lot behind a dorm, showing his goods, so to speak. One 'victim' wasn't a freshman or transfer. She started pointing and laughing loudly. Freddie was not heard from again. George used to hang in the bushes along a dark area of sidewalk near the student union. He would jump out of the bushes, squeeze some unsuspecting girl on the bazooms, and run off. One time he picked on the wrong girl. He didn't make his getaway fast enough, she decked him. He got arrested. Those of us who had been around for a while cheered, and bought her an adult beverage.

MM

James81
04-09-2009, 01:56 AM
.......since I'm blond and chubby. I tell them I have to check in with my psychologist and my parole officer before I leave with 'em. ...... I explain how I immasculated the last guy...

How YOU doin'?

William Haskins
04-09-2009, 03:53 AM
a stranger placing a sexual call already indicates some level of psychosis.

be aware that if they know your number, they can, with a modest amount of internet proficiency, glean a great deal of information about you, including your address.

i would be careful in "playing along" as an unstable mind can easily make the leap to interest or even consent on your part.

Shail
04-09-2009, 04:47 AM
How YOU doin'?

Wait a sec.

:e2chain:

:D Okay. I'm good. You still alright?

Millicent M'Lady
04-09-2009, 05:03 AM
I robbed the best response to a pervy phone call I had ever heard from a magazine which described an elderly woman saying it to a pervert (her old age makes it all the funnier).

For about five days I had been getting a call a night asking for Jenny. The response "there's no Jenny here, sorry" was having no effect and the calls began to worsen. The next call I got was full of heavy breathing which I tolerated for a few minutes. It didn't really bother me and it wasted his phone credit so what the hey? It was then that he asked me the question which reminded me of the letter I had seen in a magazine and I was more than happy to use the response.

"Guess what I'm holding in my hand?"
The answer? "If it takes only one hand to hold it, it's no good to me" did the trick. Never heard from him again.:D

James81
04-09-2009, 05:31 AM
Wait a sec.

:e2chain:

:D Okay. I'm good. You still alright?

:kiss:

Silver King
04-09-2009, 05:46 AM
Not pervy within the context of this thread, yet perverted nonetheless:

When I was a kid, a friend and I would make crank calls to people we knew. My friend had a deep voice for his age (about thirteen or so), and a mature vocabulary that would fool just about anyone.

One day, as we watched a group of kids playing baseball, my friend, Eddie, wondered aloud why we hadn't been chosen for either team yet again. The man in charge of the game, Mr. Finn, never chose or encouraged us to play along, even when he was short of players.

Eddie said, "Screw this. I know how we can fix Mr. Finn."

We went back to his house. He said, "Watch this."

He picked up the phone receiver and started dialing. Back then, you had to poke your finger in a dial and manually turn a disk, rotating the number to the end of the dial, then repeating the process six more times for local numbers. It was hard work just calling someone.

Anyway, Eddie gets Mrs. Finn on the line and tells her that her husband has suffered a heart attack on the ball field. The man is dying.

Lucky for us, Eddie's house overlooked the Finn residence, and who should come flying out the front door in her bed slippers and hair net? For her size, that woman was hustling, running like a crazy person all the way to her car, then peeling out of the driveway, fishtailing back and forth as she sped away to the ball field.

We laughed and laughed, me and Eddie. It was the best crank call ever.

BardSkye
04-09-2009, 07:45 AM
I had one a few years ago that kept calling. I decided after the third time it wasn't a coincidence, pulled out a King James Bible and started quoting scriptures to him. He never called back.

Asking them to call back later because you have to get rid of a body sometimes works, too.

One called me once asking if I did certain obscene acts. I told him I didn't take short orders.

jodiodi
04-09-2009, 07:48 AM
I used to get calls when I was in college or when I lived alone. Haven't gotten any in a long time. I used to go along with them and however pervy they got, I topped them. I've had callers tell me, "You're SICK!" and hang up on me.

brainstorm77
04-09-2009, 05:10 PM
Here why I live caller ID can still be blocked by *67

anne_marie
04-09-2009, 11:06 PM
Anne Marie, I think I like you. A lot!

Maryn, impressed

All my friends tell me that I have a warped view on the world :P

I tell them that its more fun that way

anne_marie
04-09-2009, 11:11 PM
"Guess what I'm holding in my hand?"
The answer? "If it takes only one hand to hold it, it's no good to me" did the trick. Never heard from him again.:D


OMG I love it :))

threedogpeople
04-09-2009, 11:49 PM
I go for a direct response, when I get a perv call I blow a police whistle until they hang up. They never call back........

Some of them are funny....there was this guy that called and asked for Kevin. I told him that he had a wrong number. He called back and I told him the same thing. He called back, I asked him to give me the number he was dialing, it was my number. I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe the lines were crossed (happens sometimes).

He waited half an hour then called back, the fourth time I said, "Waiting half an hour and calling back isn't going to make Kevin miraculously live here. I don't know Keven, this is NOT his number and he doesn't live here. Stop calling."

Fifth call two hours later, I said, "Not matter how many times you call or how long you wait, Kevin is NEVER going to be here, he doesn't live here or even visit this number. I don't know him."

That did the trick, he never called back.

MaryMumsy
04-10-2009, 12:48 AM
At least you don't get the ones jabbering at you in Spanish that are frequent here in central AZ.

MM

bettielee
04-10-2009, 01:13 AM
I am jealous of all your perverted encounters. I gotta get a listed number.

Shail
04-10-2009, 01:46 AM
Or join the SCA, affectionately called Society for Consenting Adults. Just google keyword 'SCA' in all caps if you're curious what that is. It's too complicated for a post.

Ambrosia
04-10-2009, 03:16 AM
Or join the SCA, affectionately called Society for Consenting Adults. Just google keyword 'SCA' in all caps if you're curious what that is. It's too complicated for a post.
And there I thought SCA stood for the Society for Creative Anachronism. Huh.

Shail
04-10-2009, 03:38 AM
It is. But the other is what we members of the wonderful Society call it. Because there's a lot of tent hopping after dark. (hint hint)

Thump
04-12-2009, 02:55 PM
Teehee, why do you think I joined the SCA for a while? ;) Sadly, I didn't stick around long enough for any tenthopping :p

As for those jabbering away in Spanish, I have the misfortune of being fluent in Spanish so I wouldn't be safe.

Ambrosia
04-12-2009, 03:14 PM
Tent hopping? I missed that part. Food, garb, demos at the Ren Faires... but no tent hopping. Of course, I never made it to Pennsic. That could account for my lack of tent hopping knowledge.

Thump
06-05-2009, 04:57 PM
Now that summer is here, I can't go out. Seriously, every time I have been outside this past week, some weirdo has come up to me and offered to do things to me that I can't repeat.
It's almost impossible for me to be rude to people but I've been finding myself just telling them to "go away!". Next time, I might even add a swear word in the middle!

MaryMumsy
06-05-2009, 09:40 PM
You need to stop wearing that T-shirt that says 'innocent naive simpleton'. Get one that says 'leave me the f***alone'.

MM

BigWords
06-05-2009, 11:01 PM
About seven months ago I switched to Vodaphone (who I'm no longer with), and they kept on pestering me with calls about upgrading my account, adding on other services, using their web dongles... Everything that I didn't need, they tried to sell me.
The last straw was when they called me up just to find out how I thought their customer service was. I couldn't help myself, and started asked what the caller (a man!) was wearing. I eventually ended up spending three minutes getting him worked up before telling him I was straight.
I bet his manager gave him funny looks after listening to the phone logs.

Then again, I am evil, so it probably isn't so unusual for me to do something like that. ;)

aadams73
06-05-2009, 11:11 PM
I had a really pervy one late the other night. He wanted to know what color underwear I was wearing.

And I said, "Dad, seriously, I'm hanging up now."



You know I'm kidding, right?

BigWords
06-05-2009, 11:28 PM
I had a really pervy one late the other night. He wanted to know what color underwear I was wearing.

And I said, "Dad, seriously, I'm hanging up now."



You know I'm kidding, right?

:roll: