View Full Version : Adulthood time.

11-21-2007, 05:23 AM
When did you first consider yourself (if female)to be a woman? (If male) A man?

Not when the law said you were. Not when your peers thought you all were. But that special time that you knew that you knew, without a doubt, that you had arrived at full time adulthood.

I don't think I felt like a real full grown woman until my earlier twenty-something years. Oh, I am sure there were 'moments' I had wild thoughts that I had achieved adulthood, but they were fleeting moments. (This would mean that I was getting older and becoming one of them.)

11-21-2007, 05:26 AM
Um, I don't think I am yet. I thought it would happen when I got married, then when I moved out of the country, but I still think it's all a charade. Maybe when I have a child of my own?

11-21-2007, 05:29 AM
Well, I'm 50. I'm hoping by the time I'm 75, I'll feel like an adult.

I think Americans miss that whole "coming of age" ceremony many cultures have.

Jersey Chick
11-21-2007, 05:32 AM
Um, I don't think I am yet. I thought it would happen when I got married, then when I moved out of the country, but I still think it's all a charade. Maybe when I have a child of my own?

I have two kids - and I don't think I'm there yet... I don't know that I ever will be, either. ;)

11-21-2007, 05:33 AM
Ok, then I'll be happy to be permanently immature. :)

11-21-2007, 05:40 AM
Just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary. Next month I write the check for the magic child's second semester of her Masters.

But as long as I can stay ahead of Puberty? I ain't never growin' up. That grown up stuff sucks.

Actually, it came in small moments. Picking up the check at dinner with my Father.

Taking care of home repairs for my Mom, and then taking care of my Mom before she died.

Disciplining my daughter and hearing my father's voice.

Not the first time I took the oath to enlist in the Navy, but the second time.

And sometimes I still feel not ready to be a 'Dult.

Like I said, this grown up stuff sucks.

11-21-2007, 05:49 AM
I think Americans miss that whole "coming of age" ceremony many cultures have.

That may well be a fascinating point Shadow. Any Jewish AW'ers out there?

There is a culture, regardless of nationality, that has a defined coming of age ceremony.

you know what, I really don't need a discussion this interesting right now. I'm behind on my word count. :)

11-21-2007, 05:54 AM
I think I always felt 'full grown' (read: know-it-all), but I never really felt responsible in a grown-up way until I was pregnant with my first child at age 26.

To me, reaching adulthood is when you realize that your life is not something you can throw away, that there's risks you can no longer afford to take, that there's more to you than just 'you'. It doesn't require a child (although it did for me), but a realization that you not only have a lot to offer, but an obligation to do so.

11-21-2007, 06:09 AM
i was 22. we were living in a cheesy trailer in a sleazy trailer park. the dog and the baby were both sick within minutes of each other. my husband started gagging and went outside to be sick. my mom was 90 miles away. ( and she had warned me not to marry a poor teacher.) i cried a little bit, rolled up my bell bottoms, kicked off my platforms and hosed down the dog and mister smith; changed the baby and her crib; mopped the kitchen floor and the front porch, loaded up the car and went to the laundomat at 10 p.m. with an armful of pukey laundry, all the while thinking i had been college homecoming queen with an armful of roses and a crown just a year before. --s6

11-21-2007, 06:13 AM
At 25, I continually feel like a fraud, lol. I often feel like someone is going to pop up and point a finger, ring the authorities, and point out my ineptitude/lack of experience.
"Hey, officer, how can you let some dumb kid barely out of teenagedom raise 2 kids?"
"Hey, officer, she is pretending to have a career, and to know what she is talking about!"
"Hey, officer, she is married. WTF?!?!?!"

...omg. I am an adult. Freaky.

11-21-2007, 06:22 AM
Well, I felt more grown up when I first realized I could take criticism and thank someone for it. Or when I first realized I could sit back in the middle of an upsetting situation, and think with some dispassion about the undercurrents and what was necessary to fix it. Or when I first decided that honesty should hurt, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing; or that I was better off screwing up on my own than asking someone else to do it for me; or that, many years later, admitting I was in over my head and needed help was indeed the wisest course....

It's been coming by slow degrees since I was about 13, basically. It'll probably take me another 28 years to feel like I'm halfway there, though, and I'm perfectly fine with that. It's been a fun ride so far. :D

Devil Ledbetter
11-21-2007, 06:38 AM
That's an interesting question. I'd have to say it was the day I filed for divorce from my first husband. I was 27. I'm sure I felt like an adult many times before that, off and on. But after that day, it was permanent.

11-21-2007, 07:39 AM
Weirdly I still don't really feel like an adult, even though my parents made this huge thing out of treating me like an adult since I was, like, five or something. The only time i came close to feeling close to an adult was recently when we found out there's a dodgy gene in the female line of our family, which makes us all far more likely to get cancer than normal women. One of my mum's cousins, whom I've never met but who's also had to do all these genetic tests because cancer appeared in her line of the family, wanted to get in touch to discuss all the optional surgery they keep offering me. For a little minute there I wondered if that was me an adult, and if I should start worrying about my health from now on like the rest of my family do (basically everyone in my family lives from one doctors' appointment to the next) and if I should stop being silly and thinking I'm going to be a famous novelist and sweep Jason Isaacs off his feet with my literary talent.

Then I thought stuff this and went back to my fantasy WIP.