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View Full Version : Embarrassing Absent-Mindedness



Sean D. Schaffer
11-19-2007, 09:25 AM
Have you ever caught yourself doing things absent-mindedly that just flat-out embarrassed you?

I got to thinking about this tonight as I went to put sugar in my coffee.

I reached for a ball-point pen instead of my spoon and almost dipped it into the sugar bowl. :rolleyes: Only after having noticed the light weight of the plastic pen compared to my stainless steel spoon, did I realize I had actually picked up the wrong utensil.

I've done other things that were equally embarrassing or just plain bizarre, but I thought this would make a good OP thread.

What kind of stuff have you done, just completely absent-mindedly, that when you finally realized what you did or almost did, made you just take a second look and wonder, "What the heck did I do that for?"

:)

JoNightshade
11-19-2007, 09:42 AM
I did almost the same thing the other day. I poured myself a bowl of cheerios, filled it with milk, opened the silverware drawer, and grabbed a fork. I had it an inch away from the bowl before I stopped and just stood there, thinking, "Something's wrong with this picture."

I was kinda sleepy. :)

shakeysix
11-19-2007, 09:54 AM
once, when my 3 girls were still in grade school, i left them in the car while i went into the store for just a minute. they pulled down the back seat and crawled into the trunk so i would think they were kidnapped. only i had forgotten all about them by the time i got back to the car. so i took off across the store parking lot. they were bumping and hollering but i was on a public street before i pulled over. had a heart attack when they popped out of the trunk.

another time i put a kettle of water on to boil for my breakfast tea. then i was called by a friend to cover her shop for an hour. after that i sat and had a cup of tea with her. when i got home the tea kettle was melted and dripping onto the linoleum floor. try explaining that one to an insurance agent.

and then i agreed to watch my friend's baby one night. she had had her wisdom teeth out. her husband was out of town. i said fine. my girls were staying with their grandmother. fed the little guy. put him to bed on one of the girls beds and read a good book till my husband got home. the next morning the ugliest song was on the radio. it went something like "waaaaa! waaa! auugghghh! " my husband sat up and asked "is there a baby in the house?" well, i'll be go to hell there was! poor baby was only about three months old. he was soaking wet, starving and had worked himself down between the mattress and the wall. you should have seen my husband's face when i pulled that baby out of the mattress. but the kid is about thirty now. he gave me a big hug in wal mart the other day. so obviously i did not scar him--s6

ps--to all you whippersnappers--don't smoke anything green. ever.

joetrain
11-19-2007, 09:57 AM
i do stuff like this all the time. the craziest was when i peed in the kitchen trash can. i was pretty young, and had just woken up, and i had to pee. i was already in the kitchen, so i walked over, pulled the trashcan out from under the sink, and began urinating. about halfway through i realized why things didn't seem right, but i couldn't just stop, so i finished, put the trashcan back, and never mentioned it.

... did i mention that i was young, a child really ... i swear.

Sean D. Schaffer
11-19-2007, 10:16 AM
Oh, man, Joetrain, I hear you! :o

When I was a teenager, I was at a Thanksgiving party at my family's house. I wanted to go to the bathroom, and the bathroom was down the short hallway just beyond the dining room.

I walked up to the dining room table, where several people were seated and talking. As I walked up, I began to unbuckle my belt and open my fly. It took me about ten seconds of standing there doing this before I realized I was not in the bathroom.

Thankfully, no one looked; they just kept talking. I'm sure that, if I had actually gone through with what I had started, that would have changed pretty darned quickly.

threedogpeople
11-19-2007, 10:21 AM
I forgot Father's Day one year, completely and totally missed it despite the banners, commercials, store displays, notation on the calendar.....

I also have served more than one meal and left something that I had prepared in advance sitting in the fridge. Said item only being discovered while the kitchen was being cleaned (I'm particularly susceptible to this one during large events like Thanksgiving). I've learned the hard way to make a "cheat sheet" for myself so I serve the entire meal.

However, the cheat sheet doesn't always work - last week we had friends over for dinner; I made home-made chili and didn't add the beans. I didn't connect the dots even after hubby commented that the chili seemed quite thin & runny. As I was putting away the left overs (not many) from dinner, I realized what I had done.

Oh, man, and the number of times I have seasoned something with nutmeg instead of ground chili peppers or coriander rather than cumin or....some of the mistakes were quite inedible; like the garlic salt in the scrambled eggs - it tasted like the eggs had gone bad.

I showed up for lunch one day - a day early.

ishtar'sgate
11-19-2007, 10:38 AM
My husband and I went out to dinner with friends and during the meal I suddenly realized that everyone had stopped talking and was staring at me. I was carrying on a conversation while cutting up my husband's meat into teeny tiny pieces just like I did for my little girl!
Linnea

maestrowork
11-19-2007, 10:42 AM
I once came out of a restaurant and went to my car and tried to open it. I kept trying and trying and trying and trying but the key wouldn't go in. Then I realized maybe it wasn't my car. The most embarrassing thing was the owner of that car came out just then and said, "May I help you?"

:o

WVWriterGirl
11-19-2007, 10:49 AM
I routinely dole out food for both my husband and my 5-year-old son. The best are when I'm delivering the food to the table, sit the plate down in front of the boy and trot off to get my own food. Then he says, "Mom, this is too much." When I look, I've put my husband's plate down in front of the boy.

I do all sorts of absent-minded things ALL the time. I'm just too absent-minded to think of them right now...

maestrowork
11-19-2007, 10:54 AM
And how can I forget... In college, after I finished swimming I went to the changing room to change. Someone was taking a shower and when the person came out... I gasped -- it was a woman. She just stared at me, didn't say anything. I got so embarrassed I just left. I thought maybe she made a mistake -- but I realized I was the one who made the mistake.

I also went into the women's changing room at the wave pool once because I had my sunglasses on and I could only see the "MEN" but not the "WO"... and I couldn't hear my friends yelling at me from behind... I only realized my mistake when I saw the women... Oops.

I also went into the women's bathroom at Panera Bread once and when I realized there was no urinal, I backed out really quickly and checked the door sign again...

So... you see the pattern here. :o

JoNightshade
11-19-2007, 01:15 PM
Ray, I think your subconscious may be trying to tell you something... ;)

When I was in college I had a roommate who would wake me up every morning at 6 AM as she got up to... do whatever. Anyway, I always had to go pee. One morning I woke up around 8 when she came back from her workout and I said, "Wow, you were really quiet this morning, I didn't wake up at all."

She says, "Are you kidding? You got up and went to the bathroom and flushed three times. I thought it was a little weird but I didn't say anything."

So that would be my one and only sleepwalking incident. :)

eodmatt
11-19-2007, 01:32 PM
We had guests, a couple, staying for the weekend. On the Saturday morning I took my dog for a walk at on the beach at dawn. On arrival back at home almost two hours later, I needed to pee so I just walked into the bathroom, to find Wanda, one of the guests sitting in the bath naked. I had completely forgotten they were in the house. For once in my life I was quick witted and said "Wanda, cover your eyes I need a pee". She sat there with her eyes screwed shut until I finished. I said "thanks" and beat a hasty retreat.

spanner3
11-19-2007, 02:22 PM
I'm always trying to answer the phone using the TV handset. I actually tried to dial on it last night. Thankfully no one was here.
I served a pizza to friends, with the polystyrene plate like a doyley, still stuck to the bottom.

Maggie

Devil Ledbetter
11-19-2007, 02:47 PM
and then i agreed to watch my friend's baby one night. she had had her wisdom teeth out. her husband was out of town. i said fine. my girls were staying with their grandmother. fed the little guy. put him to bed on one of the girls beds and read a good book till my husband got home. the next morning the ugliest song was on the radio. it went something like "waaaaa! waaa! auugghghh! " my husband sat up and asked "is there a baby in the house?" well, i'll be go to hell there was! poor baby was only about three months old. he was soaking wet, starving and had worked himself down between the mattress and the wall. you should have seen my husband's face when i pulled that baby out of the mattress. but the kid is about thirty now. he gave me a big hug in wal mart the other day. so obviously i did not scar him--s6

ps--to all you whippersnappers--don't smoke anything green. ever.If there's a cake, that story takes it.:tongue

JudyThomas
11-19-2007, 02:57 PM
I have to admit, I don't think I can beat the "forgetting the baby" story.

We had a really bad winter storm in 1983 (the reason I remember so well... I was six months pregnant with my middle child). The water froze in just about the whole town. My husband at the time went on it to keep the store open and called for me to bring him a plate of food for lunch. I grabbed his food and, when I got to his store, he asked if I would run to the grocery store and pick him up something. So... being the good wife I am... I jumped back in the car and took off to the grocery store. I'm in the middle of the store when I glance down and realize I am still wearing the hideous, large, green slippers with a frog head at the toe my best friends had given me as a joke for Christmas. I'd left them on because, after all, I was JUST running down to his store!

Another time, I sat for several seconds at a stop SIGN waiting for the non-existent light to turn green.

Eskimo1990
11-19-2007, 05:54 PM
Awhile ago, when I was still in middle school I thought my alarm had gone off. I looked at the clock and some reason to me the 2 apparently looked like a 5. So I got up and got into the shower. I was halfway through showering when my mom came in the bathroom and was like "What are you doing?" So I answered "Showering." Then she told me it was only 2 in the morning. Since I was already almost done with the shower I finished up and went back to bed for another 3 hours. Needless to say when she mentioned it in the morning I was pretty embarrassed.

Another embarrassing thing, actually just happened. I just forgot how to spell embarrassed so I pulled up Word typed it in to make sure. Click back on here to realize that the word Embarrassing was right there. hehe oops

NeuroFizz
11-19-2007, 05:57 PM
For my age group, y'all are just greenhorns.

sunna
11-19-2007, 06:06 PM
At least twice a year I lock myself out of my apartment. I'll get all ready for work, sling the purse over my shoulder, grab my notebook and my lunch, and wander out the door, locking it as I shut it - only to realize the instant I hear that 'click' that I can't get in, can't drive anywhere, can't call anyone because my cell's on the table, and my shoes are inside, and it's 10 degrees out.

I'm not my mother yet. Really. She leaves her keys in the freezer sometimes. I've never figured out how she manages that one.

spanner3
11-19-2007, 06:19 PM
The worst mistake I made during my career as a road sweeper was waking up at what I thought was seven fifteen in the middle of winter. I was due at work at seven thirty am. Dressing, leaping aboard my trusty Honda 50cc and driving like a lunatic to the Highways Compound, to find it all locked up.
I’d looked at my watch upside down, and it was twenty to one am.
I had to go home and go back to bed freezing cold.

Maggie

maestrowork
11-19-2007, 07:19 PM
When I was at the dorm, my roommate was kind of a jerk. One time I took my term paper home and absently left it on my dresser (it was an A+). When I came home, I realized what I did and my roommate had written on it in red ink: "so fucking what?"

Speaking of locking myself out ... so many times it's not even funny anymore. Once time I was SO absentminded that I actually locked the car doors while the car was still running (the doors locked when you clicked a button inside the car). I went to the office and almost nine hours later I came back to the parking lot and was baffled: Why is the car still running, and why is the door locked? Since everyone in the office had gone home I had to call AAA to help me. It was so embarrassing.

CaroGirl
11-19-2007, 07:33 PM
I have a few choice ones, aside from the everyday stuff: putting the sugar away in the fridge, leaving my purse hanging lonely over the back of a chair at a restaurant, and so on.

I set myself on fire once. I was making baby food (I had a baby at the time; I'm not that absentminded) and the mush was simmering away on my gas stovetop. I reached up to the cupboard above the stove and my untucked shirt (I was still big around the middle and wasn't tucking shirts in yet) touched the gas flame. Apparently the fabric was NOT fire retardant and the flame started crawling from the hem up the front toward my chin. I started screaming and batting at it with my hands, sending flaming sparks all over the kitchen linoleum, which still bears the scars. My husband sprinted upstairs with the information that he'd never heard me make quite that noise before. I bet.

And one of the worst mistakes of my life... In university I had final exam scheduled in a core course. I studied my butt off and felt pretty ready. I was on my way down to campus to write it when I noticed groups of people whom I recognized from my class on their way AWAY from campus. I had misread the schedule, thought it was in the afternoon and it was in the morning. I missed it and proceeded to have a panic attack. It was like those nightmares you had in school where you haven't studied, can't find the exam room, show up too late, etc. That was me. I still feel a little panicked when I think about it. shudder.

sunna
11-19-2007, 07:46 PM
Once time I was SO absentminded that I actually locked the car doors while the car was still running (the doors locked when you clicked a button inside the car). I went to the office and almost nine hours later I came back to the parking lot and was baffled: Why is the car still running, and why is the door locked? Since everyone in the office had gone home I had to call AAA to help me. It was so embarrassing.

I've done that too! Only it wasn't for a whole day - I turned the car on and stepped out to give the AC time to start working (it was about 100 degrees out), and forgot that when the car's running, the doors automatically lock about 30 seconds after you shut them. It was 6:30 on a Friday, so there was nobody in the lot, and my cell was in my purse... which was sitting on the passenger seat.
I ended up opening the back window (it was a Passport), squeezing into a space about 18 inches high, and crawling over two rows of seats. While wearing a light weight wrap skirt on a windy day.
An entire trainful of people got to see my polka-dot underwear & thigh-highs.


Ahhh, good times.

Shadow_Ferret
11-19-2007, 07:55 PM
There have been times when pouring myself coffee that I'll, for whatever reason, start to put the coffee pot into the cupboard. The only thing that stops me is that it doesn't fit. Otherwise I can image coming back for the coffee and then yelling at the family for hiding it on me.

Maryn
11-19-2007, 09:05 PM
We moved within the same town about ten years ago. For the first year, I kept driving to our old house, even pulling into the driveway before I'd remember we didn't live there any more. One of our former neighbors saw me and jokingly said that if I wanted to stay, we never should have sold the house. I still turn off at the wrong place once in a while, but usually catch myself before I drive onto our old street.

I've also gone to the former locations of offices, and once went to the wrong job, on a very sleepy morning not long after I'd transferred out.

Most of the absent-minded goofs I'm reading here are the same as mine--except maestro, whose "mistakes" suggest his love for naked women.

Maryn, glad she doesn't sugar coffee or she'd be inking if half the time

Pat~
11-19-2007, 09:27 PM
I forgot Father's Day one year, completely and totally missed it despite the banners, commercials, store displays, notation on the calendar.....

I also have served more than one meal and left something that I had prepared in advance sitting in the fridge. Said item only being discovered while the kitchen was being cleaned (I'm particularly susceptible to this one during large events like Thanksgiving). I've learned the hard way to make a "cheat sheet" for myself so I serve the entire meal.

However, the cheat sheet doesn't always work - last week we had friends over for dinner; I made home-made chili and didn't add the beans. I didn't connect the dots even after hubby commented that the chili seemed quite thin & runny. As I was putting away the left overs (not many) from dinner, I realized what I had done.

Oh, man, and the number of times I have seasoned something with nutmeg instead of ground chili peppers or coriander rather than cumin or....some of the mistakes were quite inedible; like the garlic salt in the scrambled eggs - it tasted like the eggs had gone bad.

I showed up for lunch one day - a day early.

I think you're my twin...(sorry about that!) I'm the Queen of Preoccupation. In fact, that's my next avatar slogan...

--making brownies from a 2-ingredient mix and forgetting the egg :Shrug:

--making a meal and forgetting to serve one part of it

--spacing out at stoplights or red lights until cars behind me honk

--going to the rink, and forgetting my skates

--arriving to a birthday lunch at a restaurant early; going to a nearby store, then returning to the restaurant next door instead...(waited 15 minutes until my friends started calling me and I realized my mistake)

--forgetting Father's Day this past year (we'd gone out of town)

--forgetting the day of the week, my cell phone number, people's names, and where I parked my car on an almost weekly basis

I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember them right now. :D

Cranky
11-19-2007, 09:36 PM
A few months ago, I had to take all four of my boys to the doctor's office. (Curse you summertime!) They were all wound up, and the three year old was screaming his head off and refused to walk. (He's got a doctor phobia, big time).

I somehow manage to get them inside and through the doctor appointment. We wait and wait and wait, and almost an hour and a half later, we finally make it out. As I walk over to my minivan, I see both side doors wide open. Uh-oh. Thank God it's still there, though.

Then, as we get close, I realize something else: I've left the doors open, the keys in the ignition, and the van running...

maestrowork
11-19-2007, 09:57 PM
You're lucky the van was still there... I mean, Jason Bourne wasn't nearby to take the minivan for a wild chase...

shakeysix
11-19-2007, 10:09 PM
okay--this is more my sister's screw up than mine but my whole family attributes it to me. years ago, while her husband was still in the navy, they came home to kansas for christmas. we had matching billfolds--gifts from our folks. i took hers by mistake. she thought it was stolen so reported all the credit cards. i found i had hers and mailed it back.

3 months later i was in san diego visiting her. we went shopping and her credit card was rejected with a message that we be detained and the police called. fortunately, and by mind boggling luck, our clerk was from kansas, too. she let us by without calling the cops because she believed our explanation. in the car my sister said 'whew! i have to cut that card up when we get home." but she didn't.

two months later she sent my brother-in-law to the px with that very card. they took him away in handcuffs. it was hours before she could get the mess straightened out. but the very first phone call she made was long distance, to me. making me swear on god and all of his saints that she had no idea that card had been reported as stolen because i had done it. her last words to me were "take the rap on this one and i will owe you forever"--she still does---s6

Melisande
11-20-2007, 12:40 AM
What kind of stuff have you done, just completely absent-mindedly, that when you finally realized what you did or almost did, made you just take a second look and wonder, "What the heck did I do that for?"

:)

I'd tell, but then I'd have to kill you all....

Seriously, I prefer not to even think about all those embarrassing moments *blushes*, simply because they are... well - embarrassing.

underthecity
11-20-2007, 01:16 AM
About three years ago I was doing semi-regular presentations at a bar downtown for subway tours. After one tour, I was hanging out in the bar with the city engineer drinking beer. After my second very tall glass, I had to hit the restroom at the rear of the bar. Either I was too drunk to read the sign or whatever, I went into the only restroom I found. Once inside, I saw only stalls. I thought that was kind of strange but thought it might have been a progressive unisex restroom like the one in the show Ally McBeal! Perfect reasoning.

It was empty. I went into a stall and was about to use the toilet. I saw this white metal box on the wall and wondered what it was--then it dawned on me. I was in the women's restroom!

I crept out of the stall and dashed out the door before anyone saw me. Then I found another restroom: the Men's Room. Well, whaddya know, it was right there all the time.

allen

JoNightshade
11-20-2007, 01:52 AM
Speaking of lighting oneself on fire... I did that during my own wedding ceremony. I had this big lacy veil and we were doing the candle-lighting thing. During the rehearsal my husband-to-be kept reminding me, "Okay, when we actually light these, don't set yourself on fire, okay?" (Does he know me or what?) I was like, Pssh, come on, like I would do that on my wedding day!

Well, during the ceremony we got through the candle lighting just fine. I thought, well, there you go! I didn't light myself on fire! And then I promptly forgot about the lit candle... until I was leaning over to take communion and my veil brushed the flame. My dearest was, fortunately, still watching out for me. Together we quickly batted out the veil-fire, and since we had our backs to the congregation only a couple of people even witnessed the incident. I do have a hole in my veil though. :)

I'm still not over the fire habit, either. I regularly leave the stove or the oven on. This morning I made french toast and we made it through the entire meal before the smoke alarm went off. I'd forgotten to turn off the burner under the griddle and our whole apartment was filled with smoke.

III
11-20-2007, 01:59 AM
Last week, every time I turned on NPR in my car they were playing classical music. It really started to make me mad and I was wondering if it was part of some crazy pledge drive or something. Then I started scanning through radio stations and heard the same classical piece ... I had accidentally re-programmed the NPR button to the classical station. I missed all the news last week.

Cranky
11-20-2007, 05:33 AM
You're lucky the van was still there... I mean, Jason Bourne wasn't nearby to take the minivan for a wild chase...


LOL. No kidding. I about had a heart attack. :D

Sean D. Schaffer
11-20-2007, 06:02 AM
I know today I had to write a check and take it to the bank to cash it. As I opened the checkbook, I put the little plastic flap over the top of the duplicate and then started to tear the check out ... before writing it.

That's the newest absent-minded action I've done lately. Thankfully, I realized I hadn't written the check yet, about half-way through the tear.

I could have done worse. :D

DamaNegra
11-20-2007, 06:11 AM
Hahaha I'm always getting into the men's restroom. I once even told a guy who was washing his hands there that he'd gotten the wrong bathroom. THAT was embarrasing!!

But yeah, I'm the queen of absent-mindedness.

Once, I wanted to light up a cig, so I put the lighter in my mouth and tried to get some fire out of the cig before I realized what I was doing. Also, I'll light fire on the cig filter because I put it the wrong side out on my mouth.

Or the time I sat down on the toilet to pee without removing the cover. Damn!! That one was close!

Or many times I'll go into a store to buy something, pay, and then leave without the product I bought. Or leave without paying and not realizing it.

Or sometimes I'll throw the leftover food into the sink and the dishes on the garbage can.

Once, I forgot to put my shirt on. I was in the girls' locker room after a class and changed, but forgot my shirt. So I only had the sweatshirt on, and I tossed the shirt into a random table. So when it got a little hot, I tried to take the sweatshirt off and... surprise!!!!!! Luckily, I realized I didn't have a shirt before I could give all my male friends a proper striptease. But yeah, it was kinda embarrasing to go around, asking everyone:
"Have you seen my shirt? I lost it..."

maestrowork
11-20-2007, 06:24 AM
Tossed the eggshells in the bowl and dumped the yolk/white into the trash. Yup. Plenty of times, too.

sunna
11-20-2007, 06:31 AM
I got up (too) early Sunday and decided to have coffee. Got the water in, the annoying little paper filter that always sticks to every other filter in the box, grounds from a can because I need to go shopping, and sat down to write....

Strange scent from the kitchen 10 minutes later. I kept thinking of ice skating when I was a kid, for some reason.


Yep. I put semi-sweet Ghirardelli cooking cocoa in instead of coffee grounds.


Don't do that, BTW. It makes a hell of a mess.

Eskimo1990
11-20-2007, 07:06 AM
I have a laptop, so it's easier, in my mind to press backspace to back a page. So many times I've hit the key below it, 5 or 6 times saying "why isn't this working?!"
Or when I talk on AIM I just hit enter to send it. Many time I've hit Shift instead of enter, and then I get mad when it doesn't send.

DamaNegra
11-20-2007, 09:37 AM
Hahaha, I've got too many absent-minded anecdotes!! And no, I haven't been smoking strange green stuff lately ;)

I usually type really fast, and I never look at the keyboard while typing anymore. I was doing a homework, and started copying something from a book, so I started typing without looking at the computer screen, either. Turns out, I had my fingers in the wrong positions and ended up with yep ejpñr ´shrd pg vp,´ñryrñu omvpjrtrmy dyigg (translation: two whole pages of incoherent stuff). I had to retype everything :(

Or the time I put a pen to hold my hair up and then went frantic, looking everywhere for my pen.

Or the day when, upon reaching school, everyone started to congratulate me. I didn't understand why, since I hadn't done anything worthy of being congratulated, so I asked one of my best friends: "why is everyone congratulating me?"
"you stupid! It's your birthay! Don't tell me you actually forgot your own birthday!"

Once, I had a 100 peso bill in my pocket. I put some old papers in the same pocket and the next time I passed a trash can I just threw them all. Yep, I threw away the bill as well. Didn't even realize it until I got home some hours later and mom asked me about the money.

Also, I've found a lot of money stashed away in my books, when I've lacked bookmarks and just used bills instead. Of course, then I forget I'm reading that book (yes, I think there are about 10-15 books in my shelf that I've started to read and forgot about them half-way through, but I can't remember which ones are they) and the bill can stay there for years.

One day, a friend came to my place and I proposed we take a walk outside. Since I'd been home most of the day, I didn't have any shoes on and I'd already forgotten about it, so I went out into the street with no shoes on. Luckily, my mom realized and ran after me screaming: "Dama! Dama! You forgot your shoes!" Talk about embarrasing!!

One day I also went to school wearing slippers instead of shoes. They were bright red slippers, whereas my uniform was gray and black. When I finally noticed, I was too embarrased to enter the classroom like that, so I stashed them away in my backpack and walked in wearing only my socks. It should give you an idea of the opinion people have of me when all my classmates started asking and my teacher said:
"Oh, I'm sure she has a reason for that."

Also, I've forgotten to take of my PJ's before putting on regular clothes. That's really uncomfortable!!

I also admit I've lost my plane twice on the same day due to absent-mindedness. The first time I arrived 1 minute late. The second I fell asleep at the boarding gate and missed the flight.

I've got more... I just need to remember them.

paprikapink
11-20-2007, 10:51 AM
Boiled, then simmered covered for 45 minutes, water without ever putting the rice in.

My oldest daughter loved teasing me about that until the day that she picked up her full water glass thinking it was the salt shaker and -- yes -- dumped the whole thing on her dinner. Ha! She was only 12.

Let's not tell her the story of the time in Paris I was going to have to walk home alone across the city at 1 in the morning because I didn't have money for the metro and the "friends" who were sharing a cab with me kicked me out! Only, two sweet guys who'd also been in the cab jumped out and ran after me and together we made our way across town. Finally I got home around 4 in the morning. Exhausted, I dropped my jeans on the floor. CLUNK. Five ten-franc pieces in my pocket the whole time.

read and destroy
11-20-2007, 05:33 PM
Absent minded is my middle name, but the best one that still makes me laugh today, wasn't me.

Driving to work with a friend, shortly after picking him up he asked me to stop at the shop. So I did. While I was waiting another car came and pulled up directly in front of me. He walks out of the shop and climbs straight into the car in front.

Maybe I could've given a little parp on the horn to avoid any embarresment, but I was so bemused by what he was doing, I just sat and watched as he made himself comfy and pulled his seatbelt on. The puzzled driver kindly informed him he was in the wrong car.

For months afterwards, he'd get into the car then be overcome with a sudden shock, looking up with terror on his face just to make sure it was me.

KTC
11-20-2007, 05:38 PM
Have you ever caught yourself doing things absent-mindedly that just flat-out embarrassed you?

I got to thinking about this tonight as I went to put sugar in my coffee.

I reached for a ball-point pen instead of my spoon and almost dipped it into the sugar bowl. :rolleyes: Only after having noticed the light weight of the plastic pen compared to my stainless steel spoon, did I realize I had actually picked up the wrong utensil.

I've done other things that were equally embarrassing or just plain bizarre, but I thought this would make a good OP thread.

What kind of stuff have you done, just completely absent-mindedly, that when you finally realized what you did or almost did, made you just take a second look and wonder, "What the heck did I do that for?"

:)


Oh Good Lord! If my wife finds the milk in the cupboard one more time, or wonders where I left the child, I'm sure she will file for divorce. I am THE absent minded master. My son is sick of telling me where I left the car. When we come out of the rink or the mall, I'm hopeless. I forget where I left it.

read and destroy
11-20-2007, 05:48 PM
Oh Good Lord! If my wife finds the milk in the cupboard one more time, or wonders where I left the child, I'm sure she will file for divorce. I am THE absent minded master. My son is sick of telling me where I left the car. When we come out of the rink or the mall, I'm hopeless. I forget where I left it.

The reminds me of where my absent mindedness somes from.

During a day out shopping, my dad once left me, my brother and my sister in the supermarket, completely forgetting that he was looking after three screaming kids.

If it wasn't for my mother asking where the kids where when he got back to the car, we'd probably still be there today.

MMWyrm
11-20-2007, 06:12 PM
The boiling water for rice story reminds me of myself. I heat up soup in an electric hot pot kind of thing. Dump soup in, plug in the cord, plug it into the wall, and turn the dial.

I can get the soup in the pot, the cord in the pot, the plug in the wall, but I always forget the dial. I stand there stirring soup, tasting it every few minutes, and wonder why it isn't getting hot.

CaroGirl
11-20-2007, 06:38 PM
This morning my sugar bowl was empty and I need sugar in my coffee. I got the bag of sugar out of the cupboard and dumped it into my coffee mug instead of the sugar bowl. I need to stop putting them side by side when I do that.

nerds
11-20-2007, 07:28 PM
I cannot match the drama of some of these stories, yowzah.

Most embarrassing for me was quite recently, when I actually walked through my neighborhood to the corner store in my gigantic blue fuzzy house slippers with hearts on them. I was so deep in thought over my WIP, I just was oblivious. I'm hopeful that wandering the streets in my nightie is not next.

Most consequential was a few years ago, when I emptied the junk out of my dungarees pocket into the trash. Along with all my keys on their ring. These were rescued in the nick of time, before the garbage truck came, after a frantic day's search.

As I get older, these incidents may increase. Plz lock me up if necessary.

maestrowork
11-20-2007, 10:42 PM
I just did it now -- the Codeine must be working. I was writing a review on Love in the Time of Cholera... then I double-checked and realized for the cast list I wrote: "Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins..." Ugh, that's the cast of Beowulf, dummie. It would have been so embarrassing had I sent it to my editor.

TrainofThought
11-20-2007, 10:57 PM
They’re too sad to reiterate.

This is bad, http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...7&postcount=49 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=836407&postcount=49)

And a slip up, http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...034#post777034 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=777034#post777034)

A blonde and her friend are driving home from Illinois (Augustana College) after a fun filled night of partying at a college homecoming. The friend is driving and says, “Nothing looks familiar,” so the blonde responds, “Oh everything looks different on this side of the street.” Three and a half hours later, they stop to stretch their legs and ask a couple where they are and are told, “Omaha, Nebraska.” The blonde couldn’t stop laughing and the friend cried because they only had four dollars and ¼ tank of gas left.

I’m actually a dirty blonde. :D

maxmordon
11-20-2007, 11:06 PM
My god! a lot of times

The most embarrasing one is when I put my shirt backward (with the bottoms in the back)

and cofusing a drug store with a furniture store

johnnysannie
11-20-2007, 11:49 PM
Have you ever caught yourself doing things absent-mindedly that just flat-out embarrassed you?

I got to thinking about this tonight as I went to put sugar in my coffee.

I reached for a ball-point pen instead of my spoon and almost dipped it into the sugar bowl. :rolleyes: Only after having noticed the light weight of the plastic pen compared to my stainless steel spoon, did I realize I had actually picked up the wrong utensil.

I've done other things that were equally embarrassing or just plain bizarre, but I thought this would make a good OP thread.

What kind of stuff have you done, just completely absent-mindedly, that when you finally realized what you did or almost did, made you just take a second look and wonder, "What the heck did I do that for?"

:)


You guys make me feel a lot better about my crazy absent minded lapses....

just a few of my more recent boners....

I tried to pay at the local Dollar General store with my Sears card - thinking it was my debit card - and the clerk kept telling me as I rammed it through the reader again and again "Hon, we don't take those here."....and I told her "Yes, you do, I use it here all the time" until I realized it was my Sears card, not the debit. They are both blue but I was red in the face!

Went grocery shopping and had a huge cart filled with stuff. I got in line to pay and reached for my checkbook which was not there....because it was at home on the table where I had been paying bills

Took my car to the shop for service and left it, along with my entire key ring of keys so I was locked out of my own house.

I ALWAYS lose my car in big parking lots and we won't even talk about when I was pregnant!!

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 12:02 AM
I had to stop at church to drop some things off for the weekly food drive, and when I came back out, I realized that I locked my car door, with the keys inside, and the engine running. I went inside and asked the youth minister if I could borrow his car to go home and get my second set of keys. When I got back about 20 minutes later, I immediately noticed that my car wasn't running anymore. I thought it had run out of gas, until I gave the youth minister his keys back, and he told me that he had reached through the half-open window and shut my car off just after I drove off in his car.


(Not a true story, but one of my favorite jokes: Did you hear about the absent-minded professor that unbuttoned his vest, took out his tie, and wet his pants? )

DamaNegra
11-21-2007, 12:20 AM
One of the best absent-mindedness anecdotes was actually not mine. A friend of mine was copying from me during an exam and he did such a good job of copying he even copied my name and student ID. When I realized he was copying, I turned to look at his test to see if he was at least bothering to change something when I realize he hadn't even bothered to change my name!

zahra
11-21-2007, 12:42 AM
I once sent a letter to Jamaica with no letter in it, just the envelope. I'm sure I had something scintillating to say, too.

maestrowork
11-21-2007, 12:46 AM
I once sent a letter to Jamaica with no letter in it, just the envelope. I'm sure I had something scintillating to say, too.

I have paid my bills and sent out the checks, only later found that the checks were still on my desk: I'd just sent out the bills/envelopes without enclosing the checks.

Sean D. Schaffer
11-21-2007, 10:35 AM
This isn't as heavy a thing as other posters' situations have been, but I thought it worthy of note.

Twice tonight, while logging in to AW, I started to enter my NaNoWriMo username instead of my AW one. I'm sure there's no harm in it. After all, the servers won't mind my entering 'SDSchaffer' as my username instead of 'Sean D. Schaffer', will they? :rolleyes:



This seems to be my day for absent-minded blunders. :D

Mjollnir13
11-21-2007, 11:09 AM
I jumped in the shower and lathered up and then got out without rinsing off. I didn't realize it until I was pretty much towled off and I smelled very strongly of Coast and shampoo.