The "You Know What Sux?" List

How about when you get a request for a partial or full, wait and wait and wait, and then all you get is a form rejection? That sux.

How about this:

You send a partial, the editor likes it, so she requests a full. Then she writes to say she enjoyed the full, and passed it along to another editor who is also interested in reading it. Then, they reject you with a form letter.

That sure sucked..I mean...sucks.

The biggest "It sucks" is always:

You send a properly prepared query/submission, with a properly prepared SASE, and . . . you never hear a goddam thing in return, never ever ever, not even when the next big asteroid wipes out all mammals, not even when the sun gets big and red and fries the earth. This is my most frequent experience in recent years. It represents the exact result you'd have by not submitting in the first place. Without, of course, the expense in time and postage of preparing and mailing a submission.

caw

blacbird said:

The biggest "It sucks" is always:

You send a properly prepared query/submission, with a properly prepared SASE, and . . . you never hear a goddam thing in return, never ever ever, not even when the next big asteroid wipes out all mammals, not even when the sun gets big and red and fries the earth. This is my most frequent experience in recent years. It represents the exact result you'd have by not submitting in the first place. Without, of course, the expense in time and postage of preparing and mailing a submission.

caw

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Most frequent? Sounds a bit odd. When I was chasing agents, that happened certainly, but only maybe one out of ten or fifteen submissions. The rest of the time, I at least got my SASE back with a form reject. Occasionally I got back the SASE empty, which I took as a particularly poignant form of reject.

Some of those whiffs were clearly mistakes on my part, such as when I sent a query to an agent and then later saw on his website that he was not accepting new clients and said that he would not respond to submissions. Mea culpa.

The whole of the submission process sux to me. I love writing my novels, but I hate writing the query letter and synopsis, as I know I'm not selling myself properly with them, I just find them so tediously boring to do. Sorting out each criteria for each agency is a job in itself, a very boring one! I hate all of the printing out and packaging the work up too. I wish I could employ someone else to do all of that for me!



Elodie

Hey, I've got some, Pisarz! When top notch agents tell you:
1) the quality of writing is far better than most of the material that crosses my desk.
2) I was impressed by the fresh, witty voice.
3) great voice and perfect comic timing.
4) intelligent, witty, subtle, and grounded prose

And yet still nothing but rejections! Everyone agrees I can write (well, except the one agent who called my book "way, way too overwritten" - haha) , but it's my plot structure (or lack thereof) that's killing me -- the one thing it's really too late for me to fix.

Oh well, here's hoping the next book is a little better organized.

Oh, and I'll second everyone else here -- as much as the above sux, it's no picnic when someone who requested your full nearly a year ago now won't even respond to a polite nudge, or when the agent who promised she'd read in two weeks has let over a month go by without a peep, or the form rejections, etc. etc.

Lovin' the thread! Looks like I'm in stellar company here
Yep I too have a well written, strongly voiced, interesting and 'good' novel... which has been rejected! In full, twice! You're killing me people! *thinks* wonder how far I'll get with the badly written weak and dull book I have up my sleeve.... that'll show 'em...

Wow, so we all have great awesome writing (yep, me too) and yet these agents can't work up the enthusiasm to represent us.

That's what I hate. The "You really want someone who is totally invested in your project, so I'm going to pass" note. Someday I am going to write back, "Oh, actually, I don't care if you're totally invested. I just want you to shop my manuscript around. Congrats, you're my agent!"

"You write very well, but I have to really love a project to take it on, it wouldn't be fair to you otherwise."

No you don't have to love it. Just try and like it. Hell, take it for a pizza, split the bill, don't even walk it to the cab. Just be friends. Honestly, it's a mature MS, it can take it. But TAKE IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh, actually, I don't care if you're totally invested. I just want you to shop my manuscript around. Congrats, you're my agent!"

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No you don't have to love it. Just try and like it. Hell, take it for a pizza, split the bill, don't even walk it to the cab. Just be friends. Honestly, it's a mature MS, it can take it.

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lol. this is what I'm saying.

How about . . . .


Well, I hate it when . . . .


Sometimes . . . .

Okay, I admit it. I got nothin'.

But don't feel too bad. Everyone gets rejections . . . but lots of people get acceptances too and yours could be right around the corner. Keep at it!!!

What sucks is when an agent simply doesn't have the time to even look at your query letter and actually sends you back a form letter saying that.

It sux when they reject you based on what's on the last page.

There's probably two great insights here:
1) the only rejection letter that means anything is when the agent gives you specific things to revise and asks you to send it back. Or at least is completely specific about characters and scenes and plot lines that caused them to turn down the book. Second I guess is when they ask to see your next.
2) There's probably a top tier of form letter with all the good stuff (I've gotten nicer adjectives in some agents' rejections than I've ever had in reviews of published work); if you start getting those consistently, and fewer and fewer ordinary form letters, I'd say you're probably moving closer to one day snagging an agent.
3) But if you don't get any response at all to a query, I'd just requery as if you'd never sent anything. No response to a partial or a full is a lot more infuriating. It happened to me once, even after I'd confronted the agent on the phone and he said he'd get to it. Now, I'm sure, had he gotten to it, he'd have rejected it, with or without reading it. But since he'd probably thrown the thing out accidentally months before, he never did respond.
On the other hand, a few months later, he was no longer listed as an agent at that agency's web site.

When your agent reads you the rejection letters from the editors, and they all include words like, "gripping page turner," "terrific writer," "fantastic story," but they're all followed by "but..." (I'm sure I don't have to finish that sentence.)

Makes me feel like I shouldn't even ask my agent what editors are saying. Looks like they're pretty free with their praise, just so they keep the relationship with the agent cool. Unless they're offering specifics about that "but" and then offering to see the ms again, no amount of phony praise means anything and I'd rather not know about it. Close, as Bill Clinton might have put it, is no cigar.

Editor: "I really loved your book but marketing can't see how to place it, so unfortunately..."

That, with almost identical wording, three times, so far.

Sigh.

Sux.

When the rejection is scrawled on the bottom of your query...

When you get a form rejection on a day you're already feeling a little depressed about your writing.

Ooh, me, me!
When you spend the last several months putting your newest project on hold so you can rewrite the beginning and end of your supposed-to-be-finished novel, complete the rewrites, believe it to be so much better, but figure eh, why bother to query it again since all you're going to get is more form rejects anyway and you really have a better use for that $ than stamps and envelopes. Bleh.

When you get a very nice full rejection from a very nice agent that says you should change your MC to a girl.

but but but...what??

When you get two rejections on the same day for the same submission.
LIKE HELLO! I GOT YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU DUMD STUPID.......

This suxs!!!

Kevvers