PDA

View Full Version : Pachyderm Twelve Step Program



C.bronco
11-13-2007, 10:00 PM
How do you have an intervention with a two ton animal? Try support group therapy with Paris Hilton:
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=284021&GT1=7703

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network's Web site.

Here is the dilemma: how do we coexist when we take over an animal's habitat?

Shadow_Ferret
11-13-2007, 10:11 PM
Aw, see? Now everyone has always insulted Paris as being a flightly socialite party girl without a care in the world.

But she has causes.

important causes.

Causes of world consequence.

So I think ya'll owe the lady an apology.




I'm waiting.

C.bronco
11-13-2007, 10:14 PM
Well, you have to vote first!

Shadow_Ferret
11-13-2007, 10:28 PM
I didn't agree with any of them. Where is, "Paris is a giving, caring, loving human being who simply wants what's best for the pacyderms of the world. She's the Di of elephant walk."???

C.bronco
11-13-2007, 10:33 PM
Did I omit that? My bad.

nessam
11-13-2007, 10:35 PM
If we send Paris to Asia a lot more elaphants will start drinking.

benbradley
11-13-2007, 10:42 PM
Obviously, all the elephants need is a 'nudge from the judge' to become Grateful Recovering Sober Elephants, grateful to their Higher Power whom they call God, etc. Next thing you know the elephants will be seen carrying their bibles.

C.bronco
11-13-2007, 10:44 PM
She could help them find another way to cope. I'm envisioning her work with the elephants now:


"Did you eat all of those peanuts? That's so hot."

StoryG27
11-13-2007, 11:40 PM
I'm leaving this crisis in Mr. Bloom's hands.

JLCwrites
11-13-2007, 11:43 PM
Still waiting for my Hello Kitty Avatar! (Tapping foot and folding arms.)

C.bronco
11-13-2007, 11:54 PM
Still waiting for my Hello Kitty Avatar! (Tapping foot and folding arms.)
There you go! http://www.sweetfinaledfw.com/Custom%20Cake%20Pics/Hello%20Kitty.jpg

JLCwrites
11-13-2007, 11:57 PM
There you go! http://www.sweetfinaledfw.com/Custom%20Cake%20Pics/Hello%20Kitty.jpg
Oh yum! Now I am hungry! :D

Jaycinth
11-14-2007, 12:36 AM
You left out the one obvious...and therefore correct answer.

NFL Football.

If the elephants had TV's with which to watch American Football...and basketball, too, on occasion, they would better be able to channel their rambunctious behavior.

That and institute sober elephant check points.

JLCwrites
11-14-2007, 12:39 AM
Ohhh here is a thought!
Elephant synchronized swimming!
I think they would look cute with nose clips!

Shadow_Ferret
11-14-2007, 12:40 AM
You left out the one obvious...and therefore correct answer.

NFL Football.

If the elephants had TV's with which to watch American Football...and basketball, too, on occasion, they would better be able to channel their rambunctious behavior.

That and institute sober elephant check points.
Um, no. Then they'd just lay around with the remote drinking all my beer, eating all my chips, and never getting up from the couch. How is that better?

RLB
11-14-2007, 12:46 AM
Bless her heart, she's trying. It'd be hard to come up with a better cause for her than drunken marauding elephants. (though is it happening often enough to actually be a cause? seems like it'd only take one incident, two tops, before everyone in the area put their rice beer out of elephant reach.)

red lantern
11-14-2007, 03:27 AM
I say send her permanently, in fact the rest of humanity should make her an honorary elephant and revoke her human status at the same time, two bird no stones involved.

Of course from the elephant's point of view that really does nothing for them, maybe Paris could start Elephant AA sessions.

C.bronco
11-14-2007, 05:28 PM
http://slantmagazine.com/images/film/dumbo.jpg
I worry about profiling. Remember what happened to poor little Dumbo and those pink elephants?