Holy crap, I'm irresistible!

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

Uh...I just got a text message from someone I used to see in a professional capacity. He's in the medical profession. I've had a few appointments with him to discuss my ability to work, how to get around various medical conditions I have, etc etc. He's linked to the job centre in an advisory capacity, hence him having my phone number.

But.

I just got a text message from him asking if I wanted to meet up for 'coffee'.

Um.

Help.

OhanddidImentionhe'smarriedsoIhavenocluehowtohandlethisKthnxbai.

Little Red Barn · Nov 8, 2007

No--don't go. A married man should not be asking out a single, young lady, imo.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

Well I know that, it's just...how do you handle a situation like this without jumping the gun or causing offence? Delicate situation and I have to admit, embarrassing...

Bmwhtly · Nov 8, 2007

Hmm....

After declaring yourself single, you get one text and now dub thyself 'irresistible'?
It doesn't take much to perk ya up does it

On a more serious note, is it for 'coffee' as in 'talk about a job over coffee' or is it 'come out to the backseat of my car for coffee'?

Little Red Barn · Nov 8, 2007

Well, snap, tell him you're allergic to coffee and find another medical professional.
And oh, btw, what did time did my hubby send that text?

CaroGirl · Nov 8, 2007

Eeps. You are clearly far too cute. Ugly yourself up a little, would ya?

The main thing is not to go. But how to do it maturely and gracefully? You'll have to ask someone more mature and graceful than me. Perhaps someone who's actually dated during this century.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

He added, "My treat."

We usually meet in an office in the local community centre, all very official. No coffee involved.

And I wish I was irresistible, Bum Wetly.

I'm just trying to cheer myself up in the middle of the situation in which I find myself. It never rains but it pours. Hopefully, when everything around me is dealt with and finalised and I don't have to worry about it any more, I'll have a time period where I can relax and enjoy life, before the shitstorm starts up again, as it inevitably does...

nerds · Nov 8, 2007

you could say

"I have a boyfriend the size of a refrigerator. This will make him Grumpy."

Seriously, I would just graciously decline. A friendly thanks but no thanks.

WendyNYC · Nov 8, 2007

Just say "I'm not really comfortable with that." If you need to see him in a professional capacity, add "I'll make an appointment to discuss this in your office."

Bmwhtly · Nov 8, 2007

scarletpeaches said:
He added, "My treat."

That's still somewhat ambiguous to me.

We usually meet in an office in the local community centre, all very official. No coffee involved.

Then it is a definite progression. And meeting out of the office does imply that it's seperate from work.

But does that mean it's *ahem* romanticly angled? not neccesarily.

Bum Wetly.

Oooh, I love it when you talk dirty

Siddow · Nov 8, 2007

Sometimes coffee is just coffee.

And sometimes a suspicious wife will get her husband's cell phone and text the females listed on it, trick you into 'meeting him', only so she can show up instead and blow your head off.

Just sayin'.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

Oh, really? In that case I'm sadly unavailable for the next 10,000 years...

WendyNYC · Nov 8, 2007

Siddow said:
Sometimes coffee is just coffee.

And sometimes a suspicious wife will get her husband's cell phone and text the females listed on it, trick you into 'meeting him', only so she can show up instead and blow your head off.

Just sayin'.

Yikes, Siddow. You're scaring me.

KTC · Nov 8, 2007

Since when is an invitation for coffee a smutcall?

nerds · Nov 8, 2007

KTC said:
Since when is an invitation for coffee a smutcall?

1968.

Backward Masking · Nov 8, 2007

It is free coffee though.

KTC · Nov 8, 2007

nerdsRus said:
1968.

I remember 1968. I call my female friends to go out for coffee. It's never been smutty.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

Since it takes place outside the office, outside office hours in a non-official capacity.

I know it looks like I'm over-reacting, but there are rules in place against 'outside hours' association, and while all of this is probably 100% innocent, think of how it could look to his boss...or his wife!

You can't just do the right thing; you have to be seen to be doing the right thing. Maybe I'm old-fashioned but sometimes, if something is completely innocent but there's a little ambiguity there, it can put doubt into people's minds about how innocent it really is. The door is open for...well, professional gossip.

cray · Nov 8, 2007

this isn't me posting anything.
it's just a staples ad.
carry on.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

Backward Masking said:
It is free coffee though.

I don't like coffee.

Maybe if it was a free book or chocolate bar...

nerds · Nov 8, 2007

KTC said:
I call my female friends to go out for coffee. It's never been smutty.

Could be that polite Canadian thing, causing that.

maestrowork · Nov 8, 2007

scarletpeaches said:
Well I know that, it's just...how do you handle a situation like this without jumping the gun or causing offence? Delicate situation and I have to admit, embarrassing...

OK... he just said let's have coffee. Right? There is no "I want to have sex with you" tone to it. It's just coffee. You're an ex-colleague. You're rekindling a friendship. Maybe you're overthinking this. I have coffee with my ex-colleagues all the time, and I'm single.

Go to the coffee, but keep that in mind. If he starts to put a make on you, stop, say thank you for the meeting, and leave.

Bmwhtly · Nov 8, 2007

KTC said:
I remember 1968. I call my female friends to go out for coffee. It's never been smutty.

Have you never wondered why they look so dissapointed when you leave?

But you're right. Like I said, doesn't mean it's romanticacilly motivated.

You may want to go, but if you do keep that 'Panic' button lit.

scarletpeaches · Nov 8, 2007

KTC said:
I remember 1968. I call my female friends to go out for coffee. It's never been smutty.

You're not a member of the medical profession texting a former client though, are you?

Hmm. I need to go get ready to go out anyway. I'll put this out of my mind for a few hours and tackle it tomorrow.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

WendyNYC · Nov 8, 2007

scarletpeaches said:
Since it takes place outside the office, outside office hours in a non-official capacity.

I know it looks like I'm over-reacting, but there are rules in place against 'outside hours' association, and while all of this is probably 100% innocent, think of how it could look to his boss...or his wife!

You can't just do the right thing; you have to be seen to be doing the right thing. Maybe I'm old-fashioned but sometimes, if something is completely innocent but there's a little ambiguity there, it can put doubt into people's minds about how innocent it really is. The door is open for...well, professional gossip.

I don't think you are overreacting. You are uncomfortable with it but want to be diplomatic with your response in case it IS innocent. This man is not your friend, right?

Holy crap, I'm irresistible!

haz own threads

Yes, I'm back.

haz own threads

Living the dream

of all the gin joints

fiddle-dee-dee

Yes, I'm back.

I'm super! Thanks for asking

fiddle-dee-dee

Stand in the Place Where You Live

of all the gin joints

Why so serious?

Stand in the Place Where You Live

Superior Life form

of all the gin joints

Fear the Death Ray

Yes, I'm back.

fiddle-dee-dee