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William Haskins
11-06-2007, 12:57 AM
http://austin.craigslist.org/wrg/465411858.html



Need a "hit" woman who's willing to be a temporary pen pal...

My straying significant other has posted a personal ad and I need someone to be his "pen pal" so I can obtain more precise information about what he's up to. If you've ever been burned in a relationship before, this is a golden opportunity to channel your anger, satisfy your taste for revenge and make a bit of extra money in time for the holidays!

For this temporary job assignment, you'd need to be able to create a fictional persona: A 30+ year old single female that is a professional or creatively employed, is average looking and knowledgeable about literature, arts, politics and current events. She needs to be intelligent, well read, politically left, clever, sharp witted, inquisitive, imaginative, flattering and alluring with an expansive vocabulary and way with words. To balance all of this dull perfection, she also should possess one or more of the following qualities; quirky, eccentric, streetwise, tough, maladjusted, bitter, jaded, sarcastic, etc. Bad childhoods and other vulnerabilities are a plus.

He lives out of state, so you'd never have to meet him nor would I ever think of asking you to. I'd be the middlewoman, you'd send me your correspondence and I'd send you his replies. If you want complete anonymity, it's all yours, I'll be happy to pay you using Paypal or something. Please believe me when I say that this is not a joke or a prank. I'm thinking that I can afford to pay about $20 per email (depending on the length) and that the job would require about 5 or 6 emails at most.

Perks
11-06-2007, 01:02 AM
Wow. That could be fun.

ColoradoGuy
11-06-2007, 01:07 AM
So what's stopping you?

Maryn
11-06-2007, 01:08 AM
Gee. I'm halfway tempted. What's it pay?

William Haskins
11-06-2007, 01:09 AM
read the last line.

Perks
11-06-2007, 01:10 AM
So what's stopping you?
Many, many things. But a girl can dream, can't she?

robeiae
11-06-2007, 01:36 AM
A 30+ year old single female that is a professional or creatively employed, is average looking and knowledgeable about literature, arts, politics and current events. She needs to be intelligent, well read, politically left, clever, sharp witted, inquisitive, imaginative, flattering and alluring with an expansive vocabulary and way with words. To balance all of this dull perfection, she also should possess one or more of the following qualities; quirky, eccentric, streetwise, tough, maladjusted, bitter, jaded, sarcastic, etc. Bad childhoods and other vulnerabilities are a plus.
So, Janeane Garofalo?

RumpleTumbler
11-06-2007, 01:54 AM
I'm not sure why you would need to be a woman.

Maryn
11-06-2007, 01:55 AM
It might give the aspiring male writer a chance to see if he can convincingly write in a female voice.

Maryn, bristling at being expected to read (tee-hee)

benbradley
11-06-2007, 01:58 AM
But would this be like being published? Sure I'd get paid for writing, but only a couple people would read it.

It would be poetic justice (okay, I'm not a poet, maybe someone else should judge this) if the straying SO sees this ad, recognises the sitiation and generates a generic address and Paypal account and responds and 'gets the job' of being a 30-something e-mail female (oh what a cute rhyme, email female - maybe I do have poetic talent).

robeiae
11-06-2007, 02:09 AM
It would be poetic justice (okay, I'm not a poet, maybe someone else should judge this) if the straying SO sees this ad, recognises the sitiation and generates a generic address and Paypal account and responds and 'gets the job' of being a 30-something e-mail female (oh what a cute rhyme, email female - maybe I do have poetic talent).
Wha?

Heyyyyyyy...wait a second, here! Now, I'm pissed.

Celia Cyanide
11-06-2007, 02:48 AM
One thing we should all do is flag it as "best of craigslist." It's the least we can do for this woman.

sassandgroove
11-06-2007, 02:50 AM
No, the topper was the family that wanted a nursing mother to provide milk for all of them, in exchange for room and board. She could bring the baby.

Kate Thornton
11-06-2007, 03:11 AM
No, the topper was the family that wanted a nursing mother to provide milk for all of them, in exchange for room and board. She could bring the baby.

Eeewww.

JoNightshade
11-06-2007, 03:14 AM
Personally I think this one is a hoax. It's too well written to be genuine. Why would this person want someone else to write the notes if they are so literate themselves?

poetinahat
11-06-2007, 03:22 AM
Maybe she's building a case to divert suspicion from her own wicked self.

Nuh-uh, I'm not helping her out.

CACTUSWENDY
11-06-2007, 03:45 AM
:) All joking aside.....Do any of you ever wonder where Hask finds all these things he posts? Where do you find the time to surf this much?
lol
I can always count on you to find interesting things......lolol

(Runs and gets pen. Writes down the instructions for this pen-pal stuff.)

brokenfingers
11-06-2007, 03:59 AM
I think I've just discovered my new career.

benbradley
11-06-2007, 05:43 AM
:) All joking aside.....Do any of you ever wonder where Hask finds all these things he posts? Where do you find the time to surf this much?
lol
I can always count on you to find interesting things......lolol

(Runs and gets pen. Writes down the instructions for this pen-pal stuff.)
He probably cheats by googling the right keywords to get to the right sites. Googling quirky news gets me to these, among others:
http://www.ananova.com/news/lp.html?keywords=Quirkies&menu=news.quirkies
http://www.realitytvworld.com/index/articles/popnewscathome.php?x=7

astonwest
11-06-2007, 07:46 AM
But would this be like being published? Sure I'd get paid for writing, but only a couple people would read it.I wonder if you could count it as a credit for future query letters...