Strongly considering just giving up...

OddButInteresting · Nov 5, 2007

It's Day 5 and I'm currently at 3,027 words. I should be at around 9,000 by now if I want to keep to the '1,700 words a day' recommended routine.

The problem is I just don't have the willpower or the energy to write any longer. There's far too much pressure, and the less I write every day, the further away the goal seems to drift.

Added to this, I'm an obsessive compulsive - a perfectionist by nature. I just can't write continuously and disregard quality without going back and reading over the whole thing. It will always be itching away at the back of my mind and it's so ingrained in my psyche that I simply cannot separate from it.

Just like with my main project I'll write a chapter, then realise that I haven't planned it deeply enough. So I'll go straight back to square one. I'm feeling that way now, and I really can't switch it off. The difference between Nano and my main project is that I have all the time in the world to work on the latter.

So yeah, I know it's early days but my attempt is crumbling.

That is not to say that I'll give up on this project. No sir! No way, Jose! I've come to the realisation that (for me, anyway) participating in Nano is like eating a stew cold. It needs a few hours to cook properly, and a month just isn't long enough for me.

I only write one draft, and there's a reason for that. If it isn't my absolute best, it's a waste of time.

Is anybody else feeling this way?

Siddow · Nov 5, 2007

Heck, no.

My word count is in my signature. I expect to slog through for the next week, and then skyrocket. Happens every year.

edgyllama · Nov 5, 2007

I am using willpower. I have no idea if what I am writing is any good or even comprehensible

Spiral Stairs · Nov 5, 2007

The only reason I am able to keep going (assuming I am able to) is that the idea I selected for my NaNoWriMo work is the most "fun" one of those that have been percolating in my head. Right up through the end of October, I was tossed up between two ideas. One would have been the graphic story of a violent sociopath. The other is a (hopefully) comedic spy caper.

Though I saw merit in both, I went with the spy caper because I knew that it would be more fun to write. I was able to finish last year for the same reason: I picked a light, fun story. I would not be able to do it if I were trying to write an intense, emotionally complex story.

L M Ashton · Nov 5, 2007

OddButInteresting, if NaNoWriMo is truly not going to work for you, then by all means drop it. Not all writers work the same way, and there's no shame in that.

Just like some do massive outlines while others write by the seat of their pants, some write linearly and others jump all over the place, some can blitzdraft while others don't. No problem.

Blitzdrafting works for me. My husband couldn't blitzdraft his way out of a paper bag - he's more like you than me in that respect.

If the only thing you walk away from NaNoWriMo with is more knowledge about what works best for you as a writer and what doesn't, then you've still succeeded.

I wouldn't want you to quit NaNoWriMo just because your word count isn't great right now. I'd rather you give it more time, try blitzdrafting, try, well, different things. But if you're sure, then do what's best for you and the story.

Cranky · Nov 5, 2007

I feel your pain. Usually, I fiddle with my draft, endlessly fixing it. Unfortunately, it never gets me anywhere, and that's why I've put myself on the NaNo Diet (LOL), and so far, it's really working for me. I've kept the word count in the forefront of my mind, using that, rather than perfection, as the goal. It's paying off for me...I've already put in more words in five days than I ever have in that time frame!

That said, I do understand not wanting to leave errors, logic gaps, etc. How it drives you batty if you try!

I would hope you wouldn't give up just yet, though. Now that I've managed to put my perfectionist inner editor in the closet, I'm really having a great time. I know there will be a lot of work to do when NaNo is over, but I've left myself a little trail of bread crumbs.

Of course, this is probably only working for me because I'm totally pantsing it! If I had a detailed outline...well, who knows?

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

DamaNegra · Nov 5, 2007

I've also had to qutie down my inner editor. You've no idea how I've suffered this NaNo. I know people're gonna hit me because I've been cranking 4k words a day and am still complaining, but I've suffered a lot to write those 4k words. Mostly I wrte 2-3 words ever half an hour and then force myself to just been going.

It's been hard, and I'm definitely not happy with the quality of my MS. But the truth it, it is a MS. It's something I can work on. Hell, it's not perfect but it doesn't suck either. And I love the idea. I'm fed up with watching people complete novels and get published while I'm still struggling to come out with a first draft. So I'm finishing this $&#/$ novel this month so that I too can look proudly at it and know I have achieved something.

As Quid said, if you feel like NaNo doesn't work for you, then quit. It's no use forcing yourself to do something you're not enjoying. Everyone works at their own pace. Me? I know I have to force myself to do stuff. This is a great opportunity.

As always, do what's best for you. No one's going to laugh and point fingers if you quit.

scarletpeaches · Nov 5, 2007

If it's any consolation, I gave up before NaNo even started. I decided it wasn't right for me this year; I have less time available and yes, I could have squeezed it in but I wouldn't have been happy with the quality of my writing.

At least you started - you tried.

Adam Israel · Nov 5, 2007

I'm a bit behind as well. I have the strong tendency to to revise as I go or to think things through as I write, but I'm going to slog through to the end, be it November 30th or December 15th. I will write every day. I'm getting better conscious control over my internal editor. When it's over, I'll have a first draft. A shitty first draft, mind you, but it will be all mine.

truelyana · Nov 5, 2007

What about just stopping yourself for one moment, and taking a breather ? If you don't have the energy or the will power to do it, then take yourself away from it for a while. You needn't pressurize yourself to do something, you don't feel like doing. It's like fighting against yourself. Remember there isn't any rush, and if your main concern is your word count perhaps try looking at it from a different angle, and not letting yourself get too serious about it all, even if you think your a perfectionist.

I don't set any goals for myself, I just see how it goes step by step.

Sassee · Nov 5, 2007

Odd -

If you don't like writing the actual draft because of that pesky inner editor, then simply write down how you're working through it in your head. Brainstorm on paper. That might shut up your inner editor... after all, you're not writing the actual story, you're just brainstorming it. If you're an outline person then use your outline towards your total word count. Outline a few different scenarios. Summarize some tentative scenes so you can think about them for a while but still get your wordcount in. I've done that a few times when I didn't know what to write... I just started saying things like "I would like to include more dialogue here but I'm not entirely sure how the converstation should go" and left myself notes like "this and this needs to be inserted here later, maybe with person A and person B, with person C interrupting in the middle."

Try that, see how it works.

If not, set a smaller personal goal for yourself. Can't make 1700 words a day? No sweat. Make a personal goal of say... 1000. Try that for a few days. If you still can't get it, no problem, but keep writing.

Unique · Nov 5, 2007

This year I'm doing things differently. I write each scene as I 'see' it. (I use a lot of photographs for "props")

And I don't re-read one bit of it.

I paperclip each scene together and clamp them all with one of those monster clips.

When NaNo is almost over I'll sit down and put it into a Word doc. This will be my first edit plus my first word count. (I write long hand)

And truly, I don't care how many words I have this time. My story is fun, I'm having fun and I know I'll finish this story - if I can't conclude til January 3rd, so what?

I'll be able to say I did NaNo and I did it my way.

If you're stressing about word count - you're stressing about the wrong thing. You're supposed to stress about how much fun you're having.

Have fun with it. You can give up if ya wanna - but why?

edgyllama · Nov 5, 2007

And I don't re-read one bit of it.

Me either. I think I would go insane.

benbradley · Nov 5, 2007

OddButInteresting said:
It's Day 5 and I'm currently at 3,027 words. I should be at around 9,000 by now if I want to keep to the '1,700 words a day' recommended routine.

The problem is I just don't have the willpower or the energy to write any longer. There's far too much pressure, and the less I write every day, the further away the goal seems to drift.

Added to this, I'm an obsessive compulsive - a perfectionist by nature.

So you're a <label>... I used to label myself, and I found it very limiting. I still find myself not doing a lot of the things I want to or 'ought' to, but at least it's not because I say to myself "I'm a <label> so I can't do <such-and-such>." I need to do more things and make ~~less~~ fewer excuses.

OddButInteresting said:
I just can't write continuously and disregard quality without going back and reading over the whole thing. It will always be itching away at the back of my mind and it's so ingrained in my psyche that I simply cannot separate from it.

Hmm, seems like you're repeating yourself.
Hurry, go to the bookstore or amazon.com and get "No Plot? No Problem!" and read through to the [Remove My Inner Editor] button, and then (once you agree to all the stuff that's written around this) push that button as instructed.

OddButInteresting said:
Just like with my main project I'll write a chapter, then realise that I haven't planned it deeply enough. So I'll go straight back to square one. I'm feeling that way now, and I really can't switch it off. The difference between Nano and my main project is that I have all the time in the world to work on the latter.

So yeah, I know it's early days but my attempt is crumbling.

That is not to say that I'll give up on this project. No sir! No way, Jose! I've come to the realisation that (for me, anyway) participating in Nano is like eating a stew cold. It needs a few hours to cook properly, and a month just isn't long enough for me.

Have you considered a microwave oven? Or if that's too modern for your story (it would be for mine), there's a pressure cooker where the water gets to a higher temperature before boiling, and things cook faster (what a perfect invention to put into MY story! Talk about steampunk...). Sometimes it can ironically help if you INCREASE the thing you think there's already too much of (pressure!). I speak as an engineer of non-linear systems.

OddButInteresting said:
I only write one draft, and there's a reason for that. If it isn't my absolute best, it's a waste of time.

"What I say three times is true." Well, looks like you've convinced yourself, so just skip over this post...

OddButInteresting said:
Is anybody else feeling this way?

I've still only written about 600 words, and most of that was on the first day. If I get to Thanksgiving and I have to write 20,000 words a day to finish, then I might consider giving up. But I know I've written as much as 1,200+ words in 90 minutes in one of the Flash Fiction challenges, so as much as 10,000 words a day is "theoretically possible" for me. If I don't get to 50k by December 1, but end up completing the story later, I will have technically "lost doing nanowrimo" but ended up writing a complete novel anyway, which would be the greater accomplishment. Well, at least I hope it will work out something like that. And if it doesn't, it won't be the biggest failure in my life.

I put a pirate in my story today, but regrettably that only took a very few sentences, and then I was done with it. But now I've got to add a pressure cooker! Accelerating wordcount, here I come!

AnnieColleen · Nov 5, 2007

And if it's a pirated pressure cooker that'll help even more...

MarkButler · Nov 5, 2007

benbradley said:
I put a pirate in my story today, but regrettably that only took a very few sentences

Ahh, but there are so many things you can do with a pirate! What is his (assuming its not a piratess - is that the correct word?) motivation, all pirates be looking for booty and the chance to roam free (according to Cap't Jack Sparrow) so why did he think you had booty (and not the booty you find in rap music videos - wink wink) and what about his cohorts waiting just over the horizon for the go ahead to come streaming in and make short work of the hero, to capture him/her and set them up in an impossible-to-escape-from torture while they pore over the unfamiliar trappings of the heroes conveyance and perchance to activate the video-phone just as the call the hero has been waiting for all book long comes through. But the vampire slayer thinks its great fun and goes along with it, gaining new respect for the heroes sense of humor and considering him/her for the role in the upcoming world takeover the underworld demons are planning, using pirates as a blind for their organization, due to the worldwide acceptance of the parrot on their shoulders.

Good grief, I need to add a pirate to my story! they are just the thing!

AnnieColleen · Nov 5, 2007

I think I've come up with a way to work a few pirates into my story.

At least one of the characters referred to them, jokingly. The rest of them didn't quite realize that she was more serious than she sounded.

How did this turn into the NaNo Pirates' Cover again??

Siddow · Nov 6, 2007

Mine is set in Las Vegas. I can add LOTS of pirates, even big mechanical ones! Wheee!

larrypotter · Nov 6, 2007

Try not re-reading (like many people have already suggested). The reason I suggest it is because I practiced it a couple of Nanos ago. When it was over, and I began re-reading, revising, and editing, I was pleasantly surprised. It was good!

This year, I have a good idea, but it sounds so dumb as I write. But, if you re-read and edit, you just don't have time for the Nano exercise. So I am forcing myself to write through it. Write through it!

Also, the thing I don't like about the exercise this year is this: each day, I catch up to the day's word quota (I have been unable as yet to break ahead). Then, just by going to bed and waking up in the morning, I'm behind again! Waah!

OddButInteresting · Nov 7, 2007

Firstly, cheers for your words of support. As there's quite a few posts here I'll narrow down my responses to a few that particularly caught my eye (but rest assured, I do appreciate everyone else's too!

).

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quidscribis said:
If the only thing you walk away from NaNoWriMo with is more knowledge about what works best for you as a writer and what doesn't, then you've still succeeded.

Yup, that's exactly the position I'm in! I realised it was best to quit while I was ahead (or behind, given my lagging word count), rather than write towards a goal that I knew I could never reach by the 29th.

In that sense my NaNo experience wasn't a complete waste of time. As they say, "every cloud has a silver lining."

Unique said:
If you're stressing about word count - you're stressing about the wrong thing. You're supposed to stress about how much fun you're having.

Personally I found the build-up to the 1st much more fun than the writing itself. The romance, as I say, is always preferable to the reality.

It felt like writing a last-minute essay that you weren't entirely invested in, but had to finish nonetheless. With NaNo, failing to hit the mark wasn't going to cost me anything. To that end it seemed futile to continue.

benbradley said:
I need to do more things and make ~~less~~ fewer excuses.

I wholeheartedly agree, and I also believe (ironically so, it may seem) that you can't complain about your situation if you make little effort to improve it. I believe Elvis sung it best:

"A little less conversation, a little more action!"

But OCD, unfortunetly, is not the same as the common cold. If I'm ill I'll still make the effort to do what needs to be done. Turn up to lectures, post some mail, make a date, etc. I know a few people who'll skip a lecture and text me later saying:

"Couldn't make it. Woke up with a runny nose. What did I miss? Can I borrow your notes?"

Needless to say, I'm quick to tell them where to shove it.

My OCD greatly affects my daily operation. It governs a great deal of my life, and I wouldn't see it as an "excuse" to bail out when I can't be arsed. In regards to my writing, I can't just tell myself how silly I'm being and get on with it.

benbradley said:
Hurry, go to the bookstore or amazon.com and get "No Plot? No Problem!" and read through to the [Remove My Inner Editor] button, and then (once you agree to all the stuff that's written around this) push that button as instructed.

Hmmm... I'm not really keen on all this "How To" material. I feel it kind of beats the point. These things often come across to me as a little didactic in the sense that there's a structure and process one must adhere to in order to succeed.

This may seem ironic in relation to what I wrote above, but my structure and process are of my own invention. I write within a framework that's tailored, as it were, to my preferences.

benbradley said:
If I don't get to 50k by December 1, but end up completing the story later, I will have technically "lost doing nanowrimo" but ended up writing a complete novel anyway, which would be the greater accomplishment.

As I said, I'll still push forward with my NanoNovel, but it needs more work. I need to take it back to the drawing board.

I'm actually quite chuffed with what I've written so far, but due to lack of planning I find it hard to work out where to go next. I need to work out my direction. I know where my story begins, and I know where it ends. I also know of the events that lead up to the conclusion. It's in the specifics of those key events and the periods inbetween that I'm having problems.

larrypotter said:
Also, the thing I don't like about the exercise this year is this: each day, I catch up to the day's word quota (I have been unable as yet to break ahead). Then, just by going to bed and waking up in the morning, I'm behind again! Waah!

I feel that, mate! I've come to realise that I write best first thing in the morning. As I said in another topic I find it hard to settle down in the afternoon if I've had a busy morning and I'm usually too tired in the evening to pursue anything at length. When I wake up I get a shower, get some breakfast down me, and whip open Microsoft Word. That way I'm not physically exhausted as I've usually had a good 6-8 hours' kip and my mental slate is pretty clear as there have been no major distractions (such as having to commute to campus, for example) from my thinking.

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So yeah, it's official: I've quit Nano. It seemed pointless for me to continue when I knew I would never reach the goal in time. I went in aiming to hit 50k by the 29th, and realising that wasn't going to happen I thought it was best to use the time to really flesh out the novel on paper so that I can come back to it at a later date and do it the justice I think it deserves (within the bounds of my abilities, of course).

Unique · Nov 7, 2007

The romance, as I say, is always preferable to the reality.

Sad but true.

Reality sux. Big time. But hey, you know yourself best so go with what works for you. Last year - I didn't even start NaNo. There just wasn't any fire or desire.

Maybe next year, eh?

KTC · Nov 7, 2007

OddButInteresting said:
There's far too much pressure, and the less I write every day, the further away the goal seems to drift.

Actually, there is absolutely no pressure. There is just an incentive to get your BIC. Don't go for the 50,000 goal...just go for the getting your ass in the seat, man.

ajkjd01 · Nov 7, 2007

Here's the thing...maybe you abandon the deadline, but don't quit writing the novel...

Keep showing up to write ins if your area has them. They are tremendous incentive to keep working even if you're not making a daily word count....it's all about butt in chair even if you're not working on a crazy deadline!

OddButInteresting · Nov 7, 2007

ajkjd01 said:
Here's the thing...maybe you abandon the deadline, but don't quit writing the novel...

As I said, I'm still very fond of the idea and will surely continue with it. It just needs more work, and a month isn't long enough.

I've actually worked out a way I can continue with Nano, pump out some serious daily wordage, and make the deadline. As of tomorrow I'd need to write about 2,100 words a day to manage; which, given the nature of the idea is entirely possible.

Tempting... tempting indeed...

Siddow · Nov 7, 2007

Yeah!

Welcome back.

Strongly considering just giving up...

Officially a practicing Novelist!

I'm super! Thanks for asking

crazy spec fic writer

Mexican on the loose!

Formerly known as StoneTable

Set yourself free

Momma Wolf

Agent of Doom

It's a doggy dog world

Invisible Writer

Part Time Fool

Invisible Writer

I'm super! Thanks for asking

Officially a practicing Novelist!

Agent of Doom

Stand in the Place Where You Live

I just have to be faster.

Officially a practicing Novelist!

I'm super! Thanks for asking