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seun
11-02-2007, 05:16 PM
...spider in the toilet. He's that big, I was going to apologise for interrupting him. :D

MonaLeigh
11-02-2007, 05:27 PM
Flush, flush, flush!!!

III
11-02-2007, 05:28 PM
Box him up and send him to Ray.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
11-02-2007, 05:32 PM
Where's the pic?

Bmwhtly
11-02-2007, 05:32 PM
You'd better do something with it Seun, otherwise it'll wait till you're sleeping. Then
http://www.dreamsignature.com/sigs/sigs179.gif (http://www.dreamsignature.com/)

reigningcatsndogs
11-02-2007, 05:35 PM
Oh YUK!!!!!

(THIS HAD to be the first thread I looked at today!)

nerds
11-02-2007, 06:05 PM
I love spiders. Don't flush! Just scoop him into a Dixie cup and bring him outside, poor drowning thing . . . do I hear . . . flushing? Oh noes.

seun
11-02-2007, 06:56 PM
He wasn't in the loo itself. :ROFL:He was on the floor next to the urinal. I may have to go back in a minute and see if he's moved.

Salem
11-02-2007, 07:03 PM
Don't squash it! Take it outside! Unless you're going to be a scaredy cat whose afraid of a widdle ol spider...

Bmwhtly
11-02-2007, 07:18 PM
He was on the floor next to the urinal.Then miss!

acharity
11-02-2007, 07:18 PM
Hmm... any relation to the clock spider, by chance?

dpaterso
11-02-2007, 07:20 PM
Seriously, I would have hosed it, no hesitation, death from above.

-Derek

seun
11-02-2007, 07:41 PM
Death by drowning in piss?

Bmwhtly
11-02-2007, 07:42 PM
Death by drowning in piss?
Need we remind you what happens if you dont?

http://www.dreamsignature.com/sigs/sigs179.gif (http://www.dreamsignature.com/)

Salem
11-02-2007, 07:48 PM
Where the hell are all the manly men here?! Stop being afraid of the spider. Take it outside and let it catch all those damn mosquitos that carry syphilis and AIDS and cancer and heart disease and ED...

Hillary
11-02-2007, 07:51 PM
I like spiders. Lots of them make webs that trap and kill moths. That makes spiders my heroes.

Salem
11-02-2007, 08:02 PM
Good for you, Hill. Hurray for spiders!

cray
11-02-2007, 08:04 PM
Good for you, Hill. Hurray for spiders!


psst, salem,..hillary eats the spiders.
:D

Salem
11-02-2007, 08:05 PM
psst, salem,..hillary eats the spiders.
:D

Well, they do taste good sprinkled on corn flakes.

maestrowork
11-02-2007, 09:15 PM
Box it up and send it to III.

III
11-02-2007, 09:22 PM
Box it up and send it to III.

And then pee on Ray

nerds
11-02-2007, 11:20 PM
Death by drowning in piss?


Nothing worse. Not that I would know.

So, well, is he o.k.? Is he outside? *can't get that flushing sound outta my ears*

Wraith
11-03-2007, 02:13 AM
I discovered I can tolerate, maybe even like spiders when they're not in my home. I looked at one spinning its web the other day and it was really cute. Very fast-moving little thing.

Buuut, if I see one at home, even killing demands closer contact than I can pull off. *shudder* Creepy little things with too many legs.

I swear, I tried. I tried to emphatise with a cockroach. Too feel like one. Poor little thing, and so on. But no; if I was that crawling black creature I could only imagine having bad thoughts of killing everyone and eating the bodies. Ew.

Did I tell you I disliked insects?

Do tell us what you did to it, seun.

KTC
11-03-2007, 02:15 AM
Every spider deserves to be carried outside on a piece of paper and re-released into the wild. Just saying.

JoNightshade
11-03-2007, 02:18 AM
Certain insect rules are observed in my house:

1) If a spider is not in a place listed below, he may be scooped into a can and tossed outside.
2) If a spider (or other insect) is found in any of the following places, he will be summarily squished:
- the toilet (flushed)
- the bathtub (clinging to shower walls recieves a pardon; if you fall into the tub you're too stupid to live)
- ANYWHERE ON MY PERSON.
3) If you move too fast to catch, you will be squished.
4) If you are a silverfish or an ant, you will be squished.
5) If you are a neat-looking beetle or other sort of unusual bug, you may be found in one of the no-no places and still survive, pending my pardon.

dpaterso
11-03-2007, 02:32 AM
As with every spider thread, two distinct camps quickly assert themselves: the Squishers and the Squish-nots.

Arachnids are the mortal enemies of Mankind and must perish. What's not to understand?

But I'm not inflexible; those under 3 millimetres in size (including legs) may continue to exist until they grow too big. At which time, refer to mortal enemies statement above.

Thank you for your continued support in this matter.

-Derek

Voyager
11-03-2007, 02:33 AM
Death by drowning in piss?
That's always been a big phobia of mine.

dpaterso
11-03-2007, 02:35 AM
We must all respect each other's phobias, so I won't ask you what you think about death by drowning in spider piss.

-Derek

Voyager
11-03-2007, 02:37 AM
:cry: Hold me.

nerds
11-03-2007, 03:16 AM
We must all respect each other's phobias, so I won't ask you what you think about death by drowning in spider piss.


At the risk of being deported to Landfill: while I do practice respect for and tolerance of arachnophobes, I happen to have a Ph.D in Spiderpiss, and thus can tell you that it requires 16,027,936,233.0062 spiders less than 5 cm in length (inclusive of legs) to generate the accepted minimum requirement of three (3) inches of enough stuff to drown in.

This as opposed to the much higher odds of drowning in any brand of Lite beer piss, for which there is a proven PPR (piss production ratio) of one gallon to every can consumed.

Now that everyone has run to the loo . . . watch out for spiders, and be kind.

Silver King
11-03-2007, 04:15 AM
At the risk of being deported to Landfill...
The Landfill doesn't apply to this forum, where thread derailments were invented and honed to a fine art and are expected as a form of civic duty and pride among members. Oh, I know some folks are squawking about jokes and off-hand remarks in the higher-brow forums, but here, where just about anything goes, they are as welcome as a cool swim on a hot day.

Voyager
11-03-2007, 04:19 AM
Somehow, the world feels a safer, warmer...unless spider pee is really warm...place to be.


At the risk of being deported to Landfill: while I do practice respect for and tolerance of arachnophobes, I happen to have a Ph.D in Spiderpiss, and thus can tell you that it requires 16,027,936,233.0062 spiders less than 5 cm in length (inclusive of legs) to generate the accepted minimum requirement of three (3) inches of enough stuff to drown in.

This as opposed to the much higher odds of drowning in any brand of Lite beer piss, for which there is a proven PPR (piss production ratio) of one gallon to every can consumed.

Now that everyone has run to the loo . . . watch out for spiders, and be kind.

seun
11-05-2007, 02:01 PM
Mr Spider left over the weekend. He left a note saying he was going round JoNightshade's house. ;)

dpaterso
11-05-2007, 02:11 PM
Spiders don't just get up and "leave." For all you know he could be hanging onto your trouser leg... or crawling up inside your trouser leg... in fact she could be thinking she's found a really great place to empty her egg sac...

When dealing with spiders, Ripley's Theorem is always best.

nerdsRus, your math checks out, I "milked" several dozen spiders over the weekend (under sealed laboratory conditions, using robot arms... and afterwards I burned the robot arms). What you clearly haven't taken into account is that there are 16 billion spiders in your garden alone, capable of producing that amount of spider pee within a single day.

-Derek

Bmwhtly
11-05-2007, 02:31 PM
You really Can milk spiders?

That's great, cos these corn flakes are terribly dry.

dpaterso
11-05-2007, 09:05 PM
When I say "milked" I mean crushed 'em until the juice spurted out. Don't try this at home, the released juice can burn through several layers of deck plating and personal combat armor before it neutralizes itself.

-Derek

nerds
11-05-2007, 09:12 PM
When I say "milked" I mean crushed 'em until the juice spurted out. Don't try this at home, the released juice can burn through several layers of deck plating and personal combat armor . . .


And here I was picturing this bucolic country barn full of orderly rows of spiders and tiny milking machines . . .


seun . . . you said he left . . . look behind you. He's brought a friend. And he's grown.

http://www.wirednewyork.com/skyscrapers/ge/ge_spiders.jpg

writerterri
11-05-2007, 10:04 PM
psst, salem,..hillary eats the spiders.
:D


After he charms her. :D