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View Full Version : Public displays of affection



scarletpeaches
10-27-2007, 09:23 PM
On the bus back from work - no, I haven't been fired yet - a few seats in front of me there was a young couple; couldn't have been much older than 16 or so. Every few seconds they stopped to peck and slurp at each other.

It got to the point where I was seriously thinking of approaching them and asking if I could video them with my mobile phone. I mean, if they're all over each other in public, they must want an audience, right? So why not get YouTube involved?

But anyway. Eventually they got off. The bus, I mean. Thank Jebus.

But it made me wonder if I'm the only person here who has a problem with overt displays of affection. I'm not talking about smiles, hugs and so on, I'm referring to the "Look at me! Look at me! I've got a boyfriend! I can't stop kissing him! Watch, as I lick his face!" nonsense.

I just think...keep it for private, for goodness sake. No one wants to see you get saliva all over his acne scars.

And it's the slurpy noise they were making too that turned my stomach. It was like listening to someone with false teeth eating snot.

The most I feel comfortable doing in public is a quick hug; not an arms-right-round-squeeze-me-'til-it-hurts hug. Just a brief embrace. I don't even like holding hands with anyone in public. I've used my eczema as an excuse to not hold or shake hands with people before.

I'll link arms with someone but that's about it. And I've received a kiss on the cheek, but any more than that would make me wonder, "Are we making a show of ourselves?"

And the weird thing is, that given the way I was brought up, there's no way in hell I'd make a display of affection to someone of the opposite sex in front of my dad or another close relative, for fear of being laughed at.

Sure, I'm old-fashioned. That's just the way I am, and I don't plan on changing. In private, well...different story. ;) I just think, when I see sights like the above - must you be all over each other in public? Restrain yourselves, please!

I guess it comes down to being secure in your relationship and not needing to show off that "Hey - someone fancies me!"

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 09:25 PM
Admit it, you were turned on and just jealous that nobody was licking your eyeballs.

WittyandorIronic
10-27-2007, 09:29 PM
Mmm...I don't really consider holding hands or arms around each other PDAs. I am also okay with a spontaneous or single kiss, even if it borders on deep. Sometimes my husband says incredibly romantic things quite randomly, and I reward him with a kiss.
For me, my issues is duration and continuation. Having a private moment in public is fine...but it should be a MOMENT. Not the full hour of your foreplay enacted in front of strangers.

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 09:32 PM
Not the full hour of your foreplay enacted in front of strangers.The only time men need an hour of foreplay is just before the SuperBowl.

WittyandorIronic
10-27-2007, 09:39 PM
Or when they are trying to convince you that "they" are different than other guys. "They" love foreplay, and are only concerned about YOUR pleasure. "They" don't even care if you have sex, "they" only want to show you how much "they" love you....
Oh, wait.... what was the question?

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 09:41 PM
Or when they are trying to convince you that "they" are different than other guys. "They" love foreplay, and are only concerned about YOUR pleasure. "They" don't even care if you have sex, "they" only want to show you how much "they" love you....
Oh, wait.... what was the question?Funny how women fall for this time and again.

Rolling Thunder
10-27-2007, 09:41 PM
Maybe you can get Haggis to come over and lick your face, Scarlet. ;)

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 09:43 PM
Maybe you can get Haggis to come over and lick your face, Scarlet. ;)Make sure he uses mouthwash first. We don't know what he's been licking lately.

Petroglyph
10-27-2007, 09:48 PM
Bleh.

I had a patient come in for her first pregnancy visit. The one where we discuss her health history and perform a physical exam.

She is sitting on the table and I am asking her questions and her boyfriend starts sucking on her neck.

WTF?

I kicked him out. Nicely, unfortunately.

Sunkissed27f
10-27-2007, 10:03 PM
PDA's can be tacky!

Anything beyond holding hands, hugs or quick kisses, can be gross.

Well, at least you didn't get the hand down the pants show I got the other day while in line at Subway.

WittyandorIronic
10-27-2007, 10:03 PM
Bleh.

I had a patient come in for her first pregnancy visit. The one where we discuss her health history and perform a physical exam.

She is sitting on the table and I am asking her questions and her boyfriend starts sucking on her neck.

WTF?

I kicked him out. Nicely, unfortunately.
That is just plain creepy. I can see excited hand squeezes and fond looks (of the YaY we're a family type) but that is a TOTALLY inappropriate place and time to be kissing on someone. Ewwwww.

Rolling Thunder
10-27-2007, 10:07 PM
PDA's can be tacky!

Anything beyond holding hands, hugs or quick kisses, can be gross.

Well, at least you didn't get the hand down the pants show I got the other day while in line at Subway.

Is Modly now. Must. Not. Make. Comment.:cry:

TrainofThought
10-27-2007, 10:11 PM
All PDA’s are huge turnoffs to me.

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 10:16 PM
All PDA’s are huge turnoffs to me.
Me too!

http://www.imco-tech.ch/img/pda3.jpg

Siddow
10-27-2007, 10:16 PM
:e2kissy:

scarletpeaches
10-27-2007, 10:17 PM
Disgusting. Take it to PM if you want some emote-love.

JoNightshade
10-27-2007, 10:19 PM
I was once in the super-conservative PDA camp... ie nothing but hand holding, thank you very much!

Then I met Mr. Nightshade.

Let me just say that for people who do not wish to have sex before marriage, being revolting in public is often the safest thing to do. We were slurpy and disgusting (not to that extent, though) in front of other people because we had to restrain ourselves when alone.

Now that we're married, it's somewhere in between. We're extremely affectionate in private and in public. We don't make out, but I'll give him a kiss or sit on his lap or hug him or smack his butt.

I think one thing I've gotten over is just being embarrassed of showing my affection in front of other people. Like when we first started dating, he'd want to hold my hand and hug me and kiss me now and then IN CHURCH. I was so hideously embarrassed of doing that in front of my friends (particularly since I had previously been the "I will never date" type). But then I realized, I am in love. There's no reason I should be ashamed of that. If other people want to be all stiff and formal, they can, but life is short and I am not going to hold back my expression of love just because someone else thinks it's inappropriate. Also, Mr. Nightshade's father died in his twenties from something rare and unpredictable, and there has always been a vague possibility that the same thing might happen to Mr. Nightshade. If he suddenly dies on me, I don't intend to have any regrets. Life is short, I'm not going to waste a moment.

KTC
10-27-2007, 10:21 PM
On the bus back from work - no, I haven't been fired yet - a few seats in front of me there was a young couple; couldn't have been much older than 16 or so. Every few seconds they stopped to peck and slurp at each other.

It got to the point where I was seriously thinking of approaching them and asking if I could video them with my mobile phone. I mean, if they're all over each other in public, they must want an audience, right? So why not get YouTube involved?

But anyway. Eventually they got off. The bus, I mean. Thank Jebus.

But it made me wonder if I'm the only person here who has a problem with overt displays of affection. I'm not talking about smiles, hugs and so on, I'm referring to the "Look at me! Look at me! I've got a boyfriend! I can't stop kissing him! Watch, as I lick his face!" nonsense.

I just think...keep it for private, for goodness sake. No one wants to see you get saliva all over his acne scars.

And it's the slurpy noise they were making too that turned my stomach. It was like listening to someone with false teeth eating snot.

The most I feel comfortable doing in public is a quick hug; not an arms-right-round-squeeze-me-'til-it-hurts hug. Just a brief embrace. I don't even like holding hands with anyone in public. I've used my eczema as an excuse to not hold or shake hands with people before.

I'll link arms with someone but that's about it. And I've received a kiss on the cheek, but any more than that would make me wonder, "Are we making a show of ourselves?"

And the weird thing is, that given the way I was brought up, there's no way in hell I'd make a display of affection to someone of the opposite sex in front of my dad or another close relative, for fear of being laughed at.

Sure, I'm old-fashioned. That's just the way I am, and I don't plan on changing. In private, well...different story. ;) I just think, when I see sights like the above - must you be all over each other in public? Restrain yourselves, please!

I guess it comes down to being secure in your relationship and not needing to show off that "Hey - someone fancies me!"


But you used to like it when we sucked face at the mall. I don't understand?

scarletpeaches
10-27-2007, 10:24 PM
...There's no reason I should be ashamed of that. If other people want to be all stiff and formal, they can, but life is short and I am not going to hold back my expression of love just because someone else thinks it's inappropriate. Also, Mr. Nightshade's father died in his twenties from something rare and unpredictable, and there has always been a vague possibility that the same thing might happen to Mr. Nightshade. If he suddenly dies on me, I don't intend to have any regrets. Life is short, I'm not going to waste a moment.

Having self-control does not equal stiff and formal. You might not care if other people can hear you slurping at your loved one's face, but there are others out there who don't care for it. It's the unpleasant noise of a messy eater who has no social graces.

Expressions of love, yes. But unrestrained public necking? No.

Shady Lane
10-27-2007, 10:25 PM
I'll give my boyfriend a quick kiss in public to say hello or goodbye, but that's it. Unless we're in a special kiss-appropriate place, like...well, I can't think of any right now. But there are places.

I'll hug anyone for as long as I please, and I love holding hands, so I hold hands wherever I am with whoever I'm with. Usually it's boyfriend, Dad, best friend, other best friend, sister....

JoNightshade
10-27-2007, 10:25 PM
Having self-control does not equal stiff and formal. You might not care if other people can hear you slurping at your loved one's face, but there are others out there who don't care for it. It's the unpleasant noise of a messy eater who has no social graces.

Expressions of love, yes. But unrestrained public necking? No.

Well, like I said, we don't go that far at all. I'm just offering a slightly different POV.

TrainofThought
10-27-2007, 10:26 PM
Me too!

http://www.imco-tech.ch/img/pda3.jpgThat's obscene. Put that away!

Sunkissed27f
10-27-2007, 10:28 PM
Is Modly now. Must. Not. Make. Comment.:cry:


Did I mention that the next day, when I went to Subway again.... the guy was behind the counter.....? Yeah, the one who previously had his goods tested for freshness.

SpookyWriter
10-27-2007, 10:31 PM
Having self-control does not equal stiff and formal. You might not care if other people can hear you slurping at your loved one's face, but there are others out there who don't care for it. It's the unpleasant noise of a messy eater who has no social graces.

Expressions of love, yes. But unrestrained public necking? No.Are you a romance writer by chance?

ETA: I was getting stirred up there for a moment.

Angie
10-28-2007, 04:25 AM
I had a roommate in college who would straddle her bf's lap and have extremely lewd makeout sessions...with a group of friends present.

No one wanted to come to our place anymore after she started seeing him, for some reason. Blech.

Rolling Thunder
10-28-2007, 04:29 AM
That is why God invented the man who invented...camcorders. :tongue

Magdalen
10-28-2007, 05:03 AM
That is the true season of love, when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will love in the same way after us." -- Goethe

Well, I can tolerate PDA's from a couple of sixteen year olds, but NOT from 20-somethings or (ick ewww) old farts with nubile tarts. I think I would've said, at some point, "Hey, get a room!"

I have this theory that back when we were barely civilized and still living in caves, humans watched each other f**k all the time and that is why, to this day, some of us just can't get enough porno.

So, I guess I would just like to ask, how much of their little show did you watch? If you turned away and didn't watch, did having to adjust your behavior to accommodate theirs bother you? (Understandable) But if you watched it all, did it bother you knowing that maybe others knew you were watching? Or did you just feel that the young lovers were embarrasing themselves? (I'm sure they didn't care). So to sum up: I personally am far too old to PDA and when I was young enuf to do so, I didn't because I was raised with a sense of modesty, but if some young fools in love want to suck face on the bus or train, why complain?

ErylRavenwell
10-28-2007, 05:51 AM
Depends. At the back of a train car with a scant few commuters, yes.

MonaLeigh
10-28-2007, 07:14 AM
Maybe I don't see it often, but I don't think it would bother me. When my husband and I were dating we were like that. My grandmother actually yelled at me at a family reunion b/c I was on his lap and we were kissing (not grossly, just normal kissing). She told me I was making a fool of myself. God forbid I kiss my then-boyfriend in front of people! What will they think? That we're in love?? No!!

And I won't even say what we did in the bathroom at his house when we had company over.

I miss those days.

Rolling Thunder
10-28-2007, 07:22 AM
For a group of people who dream up stories about murder, betrayal, death rays, flame breathing dragons, killer robots, etc, etc, etc...writers sure can be an uptight bunch. :D

ErylRavenwell
10-28-2007, 07:45 AM
Maybe I don't see it often, but I don't think it would bother me. When my husband and I were dating we were like that. My grandmother actually yelled at me at a family reunion b/c I was on his lap and we were kissing (not grossly, just normal kissing). She told me I was making a fool of myself. God forbid I kiss my then-boyfriend in front of people! What will they think? That we're in love?? No!!



Family reunion, come on. Find a dark corner, a tree or something. :)

Jean Marie
10-28-2007, 08:16 AM
For a group of people who dream up stories about murder, betrayal, death rays, flame breathing dragons, killer robots, etc, etc, etc...writers sure can be an uptight bunch. :D
Bunch of introverts, we are :D

Not!

Yes!

Conflicted :)

Cassiopeia
10-28-2007, 08:52 AM
For a group of people who dream up stories about murder, betrayal, death rays, flame breathing dragons, killer robots, etc, etc, etc...writers sure can be an uptight bunch. :DHey ...oh I was going to say we write in private...we make out in private but I do sometimes write in public soooooooooooooo...no, never made out in public.

I am to shy. :)

SpookyWriter
10-28-2007, 08:55 AM
For a group of people who dream up stories about murder, betrayal, death rays, flame breathing dragons, killer robots, etc, etc, etc...writers sure can be an uptight bunch. :DNot me. I can include the mile high club.

WittyandorIronic
10-28-2007, 08:59 AM
Hey...there is a big difference between exhibitionism and finding private 'public' places to get freaky. I dislike people actively watching me (I'm weird like that), but I like the thrill of someone walking in on me. :)
Very different scenarios.

benbradley
10-28-2007, 09:11 AM
I need a ruby-lipped tonsil sucker.

dpaterso
10-28-2007, 11:57 AM
And on the bus, too. All those reflections in the windows, no matter which way you frantically turn there's no escape. A psychologically bewildering hall of mirrors, like Bruce Lee and Han in Enter the Dragon. It's at moments like this you wonder why tazers are illegal. Weld their damn tongues together, that'll teach them.

-Derek

Carole
10-28-2007, 06:14 PM
For a group of people who dream up stories about murder, betrayal, death rays, flame breathing dragons, killer robots, etc, etc, etc...writers sure can be an uptight bunch.

Not me. :D

scarletpeaches
10-28-2007, 06:16 PM
And on the bus, too. All those reflections in the windows, no matter which way you frantically turn there's no escape. A psychologically bewildering hall of mirrors, like Bruce Lee and Han in Enter the Dragon. It's at moments like this you wonder why tazers are illegal. Weld their damn tongues together, that'll teach them.

-Derek

Exactly.

And it wasn't so much the sight, which was easy to avoid by trying to concentrate on the book I was reading at the time.

It was the noise. It's possible to kiss someone without slurping at them, so why do these people have to be so conspicuous about it?

Simple. They don't have to. But they do anyway, to show off.

Silver King
10-28-2007, 06:25 PM
...But they do anyway, to show off.
That's what I was thinking also. And some people get a thrill from being watched and will go far beyond mere groping and slurping in public.

Personally, I'd rather not be seen by anyone but my partner. I'm not shy or anything, but I fear my kinky nature would land me in a lot of trouble if it were on public display. ;)

MonaLeigh
10-29-2007, 02:09 AM
Family reunion, come on. Find a dark corner, a tree or something. :)
It's not like we were tonguing each other. We were just...cozy. :)

WendyNYC
10-29-2007, 02:22 AM
I'm not a PDA type of girl, but it doesn't bug me to see it unless it's getting obscene. I just look away and chalk it up to being young, reckless and passionate.

I saw an elderly couple holding hands in the park a few weeks ago. He leaned over and gave her a little kiss. That's the kind of PDA I think is sweet. I hope to be like them someday.