Sex in YA books--a question and a realization

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Red-Green

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So, it's been a while since I regularly read YA books...:eek:
In the last six months, though, a story idea has been itching at me. It's clearly a YA story line, so I've been schlepping around my local library, reading some newer YA stuff. My question is--do today's YA novels have more explicit sex in them than they did in my day? I haven't seen any, so I was wondering, since there's so much talk about teenagers these days maturing more quickly.

The question developed out of this realization: as a teenager myself, the only books I read explicit sex in were raunchy inappropriate horror/slasher novels and cheesy romance novels. That was where I learned 85% of what I knew about sex. As I told my husband: "If I'd had to rely on those books, teenaged me would have had some pretty weird expectations about sex. Namely mind-blowing bliss, or the prospect of being carved up for human sacrifice, or being possessed by a demon shortly after coitus." I laugh about that, but it's true!

I'm just curious what other people think about how/what/where teenagers learn about sex.
 

reenkam

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I'd say you learn about sex from TV nowadays, since it's there a lot...

And most teen books now won't have explicit description of sex, but there's sex. Sometimes it's actually described, but not explicity (see Bleed by Laurie Stolarz for an example). Other times, it pretty much takes over the book (Doing It by Melvin Burgess), though, personally, I find books like that to be just like really bad erotica, or something. They're not particularly well written and the sex seems over done (to me at least) but most teens today have absolutely no problem with some sex in their books. Maybe some parents/llibrarians might...but they aren't the target audience...

I kind of feel like I was ranting up there...hopefully that made sense.
 

vfury

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Before I Die has sex in it. Wicked Lovely has an oral sex scene in it that is not explicit, but it's fairly obvious what's going on.

I think it can be written subtly and alluded to, but I'm not sure how explicit it can be. That said, I think LKH turned me off sex scenes to the point where I only like them to be alluded to, or subtly done, rather than "here is sex, let me show you it in technicolour!".
 

Carrie R.

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Great question and something I've been pondering recently... I think a lot of it comes down to how important the sex is to the storyline. I got my first edit letter last week and one of the suggestions was to tone down the sex and make it more like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants where older readers figure out the sex but younger readers don't. All of the sex in my book takes place "off camera" but it's pretty clear that's what they're doing. So I made it more ambiguous because it's not really important that they're having sex, but just important that they're close physically. My book also has a ton of sexual tension and angst and I still don't know if I'll have to tone that down -- hopefully not.

But then last weekend I was at a panel where Libba Bray was talking and I looked around at the girls clutching her book (my book would have the same audience). These girls were *young.* And suddenly, looking at them, I really felt good about taking out the more explicit mentions of sex and allowing the reader to figure it out if they're old enough/mature enough.

I'm with OP, though -- I sure did learn a lot about sex from reading romance novels! And I got into those when I was a very young teen!
 

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I think that's what concerns me--I learned a lot about sex from romance novels and horror novels, but it was nothing that prepared me for what sex was really going to be like. I'm starting to feel like teenagers deserve some sex scenes that are realistic (as opposed to romance novel sex) and wholesome (as opposed to horror novel sex). Is such a thing possible?
 

vfury

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I think that's what concerns me--I learned a lot about sex from romance novels and horror novels, but it was nothing that prepared me for what sex was really going to be like. I'm starting to feel like teenagers deserve some sex scenes that are realistic (as opposed to romance novel sex) and wholesome (as opposed to horror novel sex). Is such a thing possible?

Definitely. I guess the best idea would be to write the kind of sex scenes you wish had been around when you were learning about sex from the horror and romance books, just also making it appeal to today's teens (and I mean this genuinely).
 

Shady Lane

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If it's not too explicit for adult fiction, it's not too explicit for YA.

So if it would be considered porn/erotica for adult, same goes here.
 

Moon Daughter

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Besides Bleed, there's another book by the author in the BIFN series where the MC and her bf have sex. The author doesn't come out and say "they're having sex", but you can definitely tell.

I think sex in books is becoming more revealing in YA, but I don't think it'll ever be anything like the romance books.
 

moondance

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Uhm, well, my new YA novel (due out in April) has some pretty explicit sex scenes, but they're vital to the book because the MC is a slut and thinks that she has to sleep around in order to feel special in some way. (She's messed up, the book doesn't suggest AT ALL that teens should be doing this). In fact, the storyline is that she slowly comes to realise that there is more to a relationship than sex, and that being understood and having someone to talk to can be more enjoyable!

I think it depends how you do it - teens are having sex, nobody denies that, but the story should have first priority.
 

ishtar'sgate

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Interesting thread. I have never enjoyed sex scenes in novels, even as a young girl. I loved ROMANCE and still do. I remember when my dreams were filled with romance - the agony of trying to get the hunky guy to notice me, the chase, the first embrace, etc. But once my dreams reached their ultimate conclusion, the romance was over, it was the end of my dream and the story of how I got the guy. I figured teens weren't interested in that kind of romance any longer but boy was I wrong. My novel is in high school reading programs in Ontario and the girls gush about the romance and say that's how romance should be although there's not even the hint of sex. I'm glad because my next novel won't have any sex in it either but it will have romance.
Linnea
 

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Well.... not to say that I'm one of those obnoxious old people who say "too few teenagers read books anymore!!" but its true, in some ways. Most teenagers don't learn about sex from books, they learn about it from movies, internet chatrooms, and their friends.

Books don't really occur to them as having any real sexual scenes. But this isn't how it is for everybody, I mean, I was a bookie, not gonna lie. When I was fourteen I read a couple of my step-mother's romance novels and I was like..."Whoaa, they doin the DIRTY!" but I kept reading because I liked the mushy romance side of it.

YA that I have read recently doesn't really go into the sex. While it may be referenced in one way or another if it has a place, the event isn't discussed in detail. Now, it may be talked about AFTERWARD with the MC's friends though.
 

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Yeah, what's already been said . . . in most YA if there's sex it occurs off camera or is hinted at. I dunno, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who has a daughter that I'd rather waited until the Right Person (okay, so she's only 3, but I'm thinkin' ahead here) and from someone who did wait until the Right Person. Casual sex in YA or adult books irritates me and explicit sex in either has me rolling my eyes or laughing. (Seriously, I'm a Scorpio -- I can have way more fun than they can explicitly describe, I don't need the help in the imagination department).

In LAMENT, my novel coming out next year, I like to think I hint at sex being something precious. It's something my characters want, but it's first-time sex is a commodity you can only have once.

Having said that, I think I learned most of what I learned about sex from reading Jack Higgins and Michael Crichton novels. Probably explains a lot about me . . .
 

bethany

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Yeah, what's already been said . . . in most YA if there's sex it occurs off camera or is hinted at. I dunno, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who has a daughter that I'd rather waited until the Right Person (okay, so she's only 3, but I'm thinkin' ahead here) and from someone who did wait until the Right Person. Casual sex in YA or adult books irritates me and explicit sex in either has me rolling my eyes or laughing. (Seriously, I'm a Scorpio -- I can have way more fun than they can explicitly describe, I don't need the help in the imagination department).

In LAMENT, my novel coming out next year, I like to think I hint at sex being something precious. It's something my characters want, but it's first-time sex is a commodity you can only have once.

Having said that, I think I learned most of what I learned about sex from reading Jack Higgins and Michael Crichton novels. Probably explains a lot about me . . .

First time everything is a commodity you can only have once. Really. I don't see what the big deal is. To me making a big deal about the first time just plays into some kind of cult of virginity.

I don't know, it just bothers me to see sex referred to as a commodity as all. I personally prefer to refer to it as a hobby or passtime :)
 

greywaren

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First time everything is a commodity you can only have once. Really. I don't see what the big deal is. To me making a big deal about the first time just plays into some kind of cult of virginity.

I don't know, it just bothers me to see sex referred to as a commodity as all. I personally prefer to refer to it as a hobby or passtime :)

You nailed my point-of-view right there! To me, first time anything is precious. Well, maybe not first time barfing or first time cleaning a toilet. But to me, a relationship where the couple is experiencing anything for the first time, not just sex -- it could be first horror movie, first kiss, first time realizing you didn't need to do anything to feel comfortable with a person, first sushi attempt -- it's more special than if it's something you've done before. That thrill of discovery, even if the discovery is that you hate sushi.
 

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Romance

I think if it's a romantic scene it should be a very hazy water color, but if the point is to show the awkwardness or pain that can be a part of sex I would think you should go more explicit.
 

aruna

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First time everything is a commodity you can only have once. Really. I don't see what the big deal is. To me making a big deal about the first time just plays into some kind of cult of virginity.

I don't know, it just bothers me to see sex referred to as a commodity as all. I personally prefer to refer to it as a hobby or passtime :)

Oh really, the Cult of Virginity is SO last century! ;)

This century we have the Cult of the Sexually Experienced Woman who has done everything and will do everything and is proud of it, and looks down her nose at those buttoned up uncool virgins!
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Shweta

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I think that's what concerns me--I learned a lot about sex from romance novels and horror novels, but it was nothing that prepared me for what sex was really going to be like. I'm starting to feel like teenagers deserve some sex scenes that are realistic (as opposed to romance novel sex) and wholesome (as opposed to horror novel sex). Is such a thing possible?

Um, what's with the new books here? I learned a lot about sex from Judy Blume's Forever :)

Including, honestly, that I didn't want sex for the sake of sex, which I had thought maybe I did, coming from a society where it was all taboo.

Oh really, the Cult of Virginity is SO last century! ;)

This century we have the Cult of the Sexually Experienced Woman who has done everything and will do everything and is proud of it, and looks down her nose at those buttoned up uncool virgins!
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Either's problematic, sure. I think the cult of virginity is worse in its way because of the gender-based double standards involved, but... I wouldn't want to be trapped in either. If only we didn't have social pressure in either direction and were willing to let people do what was right for them, without judgment, huh?
 

Claudia Gray

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Some YA has graphic sex; most doesn't, although IMHO most is more frank about the existence of teenage sex than YA books were even 10-15 years ago.

Make sure that the story demands that level of explicitness. Where a novel for adults can include a fairly explicit sex scene "just because," with YA it really needs to be more important for the story you're telling. That said, if it really is an important part of your story, any good editor/publisher would back you up on it.
 

timewaster

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Before I Die, by Jenny Downham.

I can recommend Kate Cann's books 'Dving in' etc. She wrote them because she as an editor she was tired of reading about bad and scary sex in teen books and thought she could do a better job. She does.
 

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I think that's what concerns me--I learned a lot about sex from romance novels and horror novels, but it was nothing that prepared me for what sex was really going to be like. I'm starting to feel like teenagers deserve some sex scenes that are realistic (as opposed to romance novel sex) and wholesome (as opposed to horror novel sex). Is such a thing possible?


I've tried to deliver just on this! My heroes are in love in a wholesome way and express it. Really, though, I just have this paragraph pre sex.

She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Then leaned down and another kiss followed, on the neck. She made an unbelievably erotic noise. Jimmy grabbed her. Things got frantic.


And then some after sex stuff...cause, for some reason, I felt pervy peeking in on my lovebirds. Which is strange, cause I've written explicit sex in other books...


Jimmy panted, looking up at the ceiling. He hadn't know how sticky it would be. Sticky and fun. Oh wow, it was fun. He closed his eyes as Pix snuggled up against his side, her hand sliding over his belly. She nuzzled his shoulder, murmuring something.


“Mmmh?” Jimmy asked.


“Whaa?” She looked up at him, her eyes winking in the semi-darkness.


“What?” He asked.


“What?”


“What what?”


She closed her eyes. Opened them. “What?”


Jimmy closed his eyes, trying to marshal his thoughts. But it was too hard, feeling her rub against him with every tiny motion of her body. Even her breathing sent a haze of sensation through Jimmy. He opened his eyes again.


“That,” He said, slowly. “Was fun.”


Pix nodded. “Lots.”


“Lots and lots.” Jimmy grinned as she sat up, slowly, brushing her hair back behind one of her antennas. She kissed his cheek, then lay back down, closing her eyes. She snored.


Jimmy sighed. It wasn't perfect. But...he slipped his hand behind her and snuggled tight...it was close enough.

Cuase sex can be adorable. Like kittens.
 
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