Adventures in Babysitting

This happened to a friend of mine, not me. She made the mistake of reading Stephen King's The Shining while she was babysitting a little boy who looked exactly like the little boy from the movie. She'd just read the section where the boy in the book was playing with a fire engine and looked up to see the boy she was sitting playing with a fire engine. When she tells the story, she claims it freaked her out so much that she put him to bed immediately ("Why am I going to bed at 6:30?" "Don't ask.").

Moral of the story: Don't read horror novels while babysitting.

Someone actually let me babysit an infant when I was 12 and I had no idea about changing a diaper on a boy and what happens when that tiny penis feels fresh air (a fountain!). He peed in my hair and, disgustingly, in my eyes.

Once I was to babysit a family with two kids. I arrived to find that 2 sets of neighbors brought their kids over for me to watch, too. I had to sit for 7 freakin' kids! And one was a baby who loved to spit food. At 5 bucks an hour!

Too many to count, but this is my favorite:

I got a job when I was 14 babysitting a 9 y/o during the weekdays in the summer. By 4:30 on the first day, I just wanted to sit and read. I picked up one of her mom's Stephen King books (must be a theme here ); Ashley, deciding she wanted to read too, ran upstairs and got a magazine. Yay! I thought.
We spent a mercifully quiet 20 minutes on the couch, before I noticed what she was reading.

Playboy.

When I asked her what in the hell she thought she was doing, she said, and I quote: "It's daddy's, he keeps it under the bed. But mommy and I looked at the pictures together."

Ooooooookaaaayyyy.

First time in my life I suggested TV as a viable alternative. While she's watching, I'm sitting next to her and reading, wondering what exactly I'm supposed to do, and of course I forget to toss the magazine. So her mom comes home half an hour later - and as soon as we hear the door open, Ashley leaps up, snatches the Playboy off the coffee table, and books it upstairs at like warp 2.

Little f***ing sneak.

Being me, and utterly without a brain-mouth filter, I say, as we're contemplating Ashley's receding footsteps: She was reading a Playboy. She said you looked at the pictures together. Ashley's mom is mortified. I get a long, panicked monologue about birthday gag gifts and having to explain certain anatomical facts to your 9 year old when she finds said gag gifts, and how they really aren't like that, and she forgot to throw it away, and she's so sorry and am I ok, as though I was traumatized by the Playboy, or by her child. Ashley's mom drives me home, and is still so upset she feels the need to explain the entire situation to my mom, who has never met her.

It was an interesting summer.

Nothing too exciting. The worst experience was when I was 14 and tended a toddler all day and into the evening on a Saturday. First problem: The parents asked if I liked dogs. I said yes. They said, cuz our dog is 'friendly.' I found out that Friendly meant he liked to attach himself to my leg and hump it. I had to put him in the basement, he was so obnoxious. The second thing was they didn't leave enough disposable diapers. Maybe I wasn't diaper savvy (okay, I wasn't) but I needed to change the kid and almost ran out of diapers. Part of the reason was the tapes did NOT STICK. (this was the 70s; disposables have improved since then!) And they fell off. (in hindsight the kid was probably pulling them off when I wasn't looking). Seriously, I was so sure I'd run out of diapers I finally taped it on with some duct tape.

I was never asked back...

Another time I was babysitting on a Saturday (afternoon into evening) and their kid was about 2.5. She grabbed a wet washcloth from the bathroom and proceeded to whack me with it non-stop. I had to take it away, then she started throwing her toys at me. I finally stuck her in her crib before I physically harmed her (not really, but she was very frustrating!!)

Let's see, maybe this is why I didn't have my first kid til I was 33??

Once when I was babysitting a three-year-old and infant, I was so busy dealing with the wailing baby that I didn't really notice the little girl had disappeared for a few minutes - until she came back bearing a mixing bowl with POOP in it. When I said, "Why did you do that?!" she said, "I just wanted to look at it."

Also, I was once looking after two little girls when the family's cat starting howling/meowing from under the pull-out sofa. When I got closer to see what was going on, the cat reached out and sank its claws into my hand. I ended up having to call my mother to take me (and the two kids) to the hospital and wait for several hours to get a few stitches and a tetanus shot. It was not my babysitting high point, needless to say. Thank goodness for mothers.

Whe I was 12-14 I used to babysit my three boy cousins when my aunt and uncle would go out. This particular night I was 12 and they were 4, 6 and 10. I didn't do much with the 10 year old, he made my job easier or more difficult depending on his mood. The youngest had a friend over, so 4 boys and me, and none of them wanted to listen to me.

When bedtime came there was wrestling, jumping, screaming, you name it, and the middle cousin (who was the most 'sensitive') fell on the ground laughing. What did I do? Pretended I was going to step on his face, of course.

"I'm gonna step on you if you don't get up and go to bed!" Laughing, having fun. Everyone's having fun. Until someone pushed me and I landed on his hand.

He screamed as I fell. I had dislocated his thumb, and it looked scary. I tried to call his parents but they were bar-hopping in a neighboring town and this was way before cell phones. I finally tracked my parents down at their friend's house and they came to take him to the hospital.

In the meantime my cousin wouldn't stop screaming and was getting hysterical because his hand looked so gross, so I threw a towel over it and told him to squeeze the chair handle to take his mind off the pain. (brilliant at age 12, I tell ya) The other three boys jumped around yelling how much trouble I was going to be in.

Nothing happened to me but my poor cousin had a horrible time at the hospital. Because my parents were only his aunt & uncle, they couldn't give him any medicine. They first tried popping it back in place but that didn't work so they had a screaming, writhing 8-year old on the table. I don't know when his parents turned up but they eventually came home with him and he had a cool cast.

The story? I 'tripped.' We were all very clear about that and haven't spoken of it since.

OH, I forgot the time when I was in college. I was filling in for the regular babysitter. I was sitting a 9 yr old boy and his 6 yr old mute sister. Mom tried to teach me a few signs that I'd need, but then said just to ask the boy to translate.

We were outside playing and the girl kept making this sign. I asked her brother what she wanted and I don't remember what he said, but it wasn't the real thing. The girl went into the house and I went in a few minutes later. The poor girl was sitting on the toilet, but had missed and there was crap everywhere. She was crying, so upset to have messed her pants and the bathroom. I was kind of ticked at the other kid, because now that I saw this, I remembered that the sign she was giving me was the one that said she had to go to the bathroom!!

Took me a while to clean her up as well as the bathroom. Then we just cuddled on the couch and watched a movie. And I apologized profusely for not understanding her signs while secretly wanting to slap the brother.

Paula Boon said:

Once when I was babysitting a three-year-old and infant, I was so busy dealing with the wailing baby that I didn't really notice the little girl had disappeared for a few minutes - until she came back bearing a mixing bowl with POOP in it. When I said, "Why did you do that?!" she said, "I just wanted to look at it."

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I shouldn't have read this with a mouthful of coffee!! The thing that makes this so funny is that I can totally see my four-year-old doing this

When I was in seventh grade the woman I normally babysat for had me come over to watch her son, who was 9, and some of his friends. One of his friends was in my grade. So I ended up sitting for a guy the same age as I was, which was really weird. But I guess they say girls mature faster than boys.

One time I was babysitting for my younger siblings in between mom leaving for work and dad getting home from work. Mom had put a roast chicken in the oven before she left. About 15 minutes into babysitting, the smoke alarm goes off and the kitchen begins to fill with smoke. I get the kids out of the house and to the neighbor's across the street. The kid next door sees and hears what's going on and calls the fire department. Less than five minutes later, two fire trucks come screaming down the street, followed by my dad's red Ford Fairmont. I thought he was going to kill me for letting the house burn down. Turns out it the house didn't burn down, just grease in the roasting pan that overheated.

When I was 14, I was babysitting for my little brother while my mom went grocery shopping; my brother would have been 5 or 6 at the time. We had just moved into a new house and he "discovered" the ladder in the garage that went into the attic. He decided that he wanted to "see what was up there" and climbed the ladder. Unfortunately, he only got about half way up and then fell about six feet, on top of a garden rake (the kind with the hard/fixed tines); several of the tines went completely through his side (from back to front). Gross!

I cleaned the wounds and then calmly walked him to the emergency room at the hospital (we lived in a sub-division a couple of blocks behind the hospital). I had left a message for my mom, telling her what had happened and where we were going. We were only at the emergency room about 10 minutes when my mom called. My little brother had to have a few stitches and a tetanus shot but was otherwise OK.

Another little brother adventure, I was babysitting, he was playing with one of his friends and the two boys got into a fight. The little boy he was playing with bit him like l10 times (can't remember exactly) on his arms, back, legs. Lots of screaming from that one. I sent his little friend home (after calling his mother), cleaned my brother's wounds and dressed them with iodine. I promised to take him to Sonic for a milkshake (I was 16 when this one happened) if he would stop crying; fortunately it worked. He was as mad as he was hurt and upset.

One last, while babysitting my brother and sister, I decided to make a cake for dinner (I cooked lots when I was a teen). While I was mixing the batter, the kids ran through the kitchen screaming & playing, I turned around to look at them and got my hand caught in the mixer. I pulled the plug and was able to free my hand. I told my mom that "I put a lot of myself in that cake".

BTW - I was the girl scout equiv. of an eagle scout and was always calm and prepared. I had lots of first aid training and had a calm head on my shoulders; the ideal sitter. Plus, since I had 5 younger brothers and sisters, I knew about ruling with an iron fist but having fun with the kids (we did all kinds of fun stuff together).

I made a FORTUNE in the subdivision. I had one gig where I got $5 per hour for each family that I sat for on Friday nights. There was a group of people that worked for the same company and they often went out together for dinner on Fridays. One weekend there was a corporate party and I made $25 PER HOUR and this was in the 1970s. If I remember correctly, the party went on for so long that I made, with tip, $200 for that one night. Talk about hard, cold cash!!! They loved me and kept me booked a month in advance. Sometimes, I had gigs on Friday and Saturday and, occasionally, Sunday too.

I didnt do much babysitting growing up, the few times I did, I accompanied an older cousin along on her jobs. Most were wealthy families. It was always great for me - I was the fun cousin that came along and was great at playing with the kiddies. What i do have is horror stories of being the child babysat by insane whooooores bringing boyfriends over, stealing moms makeup/jewelery and other adventures.

Ooh, yeah! I was locked in the tupperware cupboard for what felt like hours.

I had one family (three kids) I babysat for every Friday afternoon while the mom took off to do her own thing. I was 14, the kids were about: girl - 10, boy - 6, girl - 4. One day the two younger ones wanted to go to the park. The older girl was allowed to stay by herself, so off we went. To get to the park you had to cross this paved parking lot that sloped downward. As we start to cross, the little girl just takes off running. We were horsing around, so I was like, "I'm gonna get you!" I run after her, and I start to scoop her up-- and trip.

She slammed into the ground face-first, totally splitting her chin open. I can still relive that horrible, horrible moment in slow motion. Then she starts gushing blood, and BOTH kids start bawling.

Trying to regain my composure, I take her to a drinking fountain to try to wash her off, but it soon becomes clear the blood flow is not stopping. This "helpful" adult comes by and tells me, "Oh wow, that's gonna need stitches." Both kids start bawling even more. Yes, thank you sir, very helpful.

Anyway eventually we get back to the house and I call my mom (a nurse), who calls the kid's dad and they come over. Turns out the little girl doesn't need stitches, thank God. Finally, I lose it and start bawling.

Later, I learned that the reason the little boy was bawling his eyes out (I never could get him calmed down) was because he thought his parents wouldn't let me babysit him anymore. Awwww. We had one of those special little relationships where I was his big buddy. He totally worshipped me.

JoNightshade said:

I had one family (three kids) I babysat for every Friday afternoon while the mom took off to do her own thing.

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That's all I needed.... I must find a babysitter that will work for free. I've got snacks. Cable. Internet....

jennifer75 said:

That's all I needed.... I must find a babysitter that will work for free. I've got snacks. Cable. Internet....

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Actually, I did work for free for the first few years. I started when I was about 10 or 11, when the little girl was born. My mom just sent me over there to help out and stuff. The dad of the family was actually our pastor, so they were good family friends. Then when I got old enough that the mom felt comfortable leaving us alone, I think she paid me like $20 a month. Not much, but I was an only child so it was good experience. If I hadn't done it, I'd have no clue what to do with a baby.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the time (also when I was 14) I was called to babysit the kids of a wealthy family (well, wealthier than mine!! LOL). Mom said I could make a frozen pizza for dinner.

The kids were brats!!! One took a roll of tape and completely wound it around and stuck it to everything in the living room. Then they complained they were hungry, so I put the pizza in the oven and turned it on. 20 minutes later the pizza was still frozen and the oven cold. It took me about 30 minutes to realize there was another knob on the oven that said BAKE and BROIL that I had to turn in addition to the temperature knob (my oven at home just had the temp knob). Meanwhile the kids were brattier!

Then, around 11 pm when I was glazing over and the parents were supposed to be home, the phone rang. The operator asking if I would accept the charges for a collect call (my age is showing here!! LOL). I didn't know if I should (my dad never let us at home) so I hemmed and hawed and the operator was getting ticked. Finally I heard the kids mother yelling in the background ACCEPT THE CHARGES!! so I did (apparently I didn't understand the operator that it was the parents calling!) They told me they weren't getting home til 3 am and told me it was okay to fall asleep.

They never asked me back, either.

Hmmm. I detect a theme here...