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View Full Version : betas needed for high fantasy, 5th draft, very character-driven



sunna
10-20-2007, 09:05 AM
Pretty please?? *bats eyes*

This is actually an MS that's on submission: I had a reply from an agent who suggested revisions and would like me to send it back to her. So what I'm looking for is pretty specific - suggestions on how and where to incorporate the agent's suggestions, as well as any overall impressions, and anything else you'd like to share.

The novel: it's high fantasy, very loosely medieval, but a wholly invented world. It's got plenty of action, strategy, some mild sex scenes, and is largely carried by strong characters. I pasted the hook below.

ETA: There's an excerpt here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80610

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"Sword shall guide the hands of men…”

The kingdom of Lardan has existed for millennia; long enough to have forgotten its own origins and history, and the use of the Gift of magic its people still lay claim to. Kyali Corwynall, one of three heirs to the two great ruling Houses of the East, has grown to early adulthood believing that she and her brother Devin will follow a well-trodden path of duty and tradition, taking their place at the side of Jessica Marsadron, who will one day rule the kingdom. It’s hardly a dire destiny: Jessica is her closest friend, and Kyali’s training in the sword, unusual for a woman, makes her a fitting companion for a Queen.

But fate has other plans for these three: long ago, when magic was still a fact of life, a prophecy was made which threatens everything Kyali has ever known and believed to be true - and against all expectations, it is coming to pass. When the dark tide of change begins to rise, Kyali and her companions have no choice but to rise with it, and to learn to use the innate Gifts that they were born with. To save what they love, they must become what prophecy has named them: Sword, Song, and Crown.
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If anybody's interested in beta-ing, I'll email or PM the agent's comments for reference. And I'll gladly reciprocate (I love to read), though I probably won't be able to start reading until about a month from now, when I hope to have the revisions done and sent out, and I can start biting my nails again. :)

dragonmedley
10-20-2007, 06:47 PM
PMed ya!