Jerry,
My hubby is great at uncovering writing lessons for me. He has a mind like a laser for analyzing structure and technical aspects of literature, and neatly summarizing his conclusions.
Last spring I nearly wrecked my voice reading Haven Kimmel's memoir, A Girl Called Zippy, aloud in the car on a long road trip. This memoir, written in 1991, came at the early edge of the current spate of women's memoirs, and due to some serious weaknesses, it may not make the publisher's cut today. Despite the flaws, it's a charming and delightful story, and we spent lots of time laughing at the humor found throughout.
I hadn't been sure Hubby would relate to the book, but he did enjoy it. He also rattled off the flaws before I'd even finished reading. Three stand out:
1. She didn't cement her stories in time, and she did not write chronologically, so we often wondered whether she was six or twelve during a particular story. Age was relevant to putting the story in context.
Writing lesson: Be sure to anchor each story in the five W's: who, where, when, why, and what.
2. She repeated material many times, without any indication that she intended to do so. Repetition is okay, but fits in better with an allusion to the earlier event.
Writing lesson: Refer back to earlier mentions of events when you assemble random stories into a collection. Retell them in a way that sheds a different light on things, rather than simply pasting in the earlier account. Best of all, tighten up your writing to avoid the need for repetition.
3. Her dialog was overdone. Dialog was great, but she used highly sophisticated, and very specific, terminology. Perhaps she really was that precocious, but it did not sound like it came from the mind or lips of a seven-year-old child, and it was too specific to be credible. It was splendid creative writing, and except for the fact that it didn't sound age-appropriate, it would have been amazing in a piece of fiction.
Writing lesson: Keep your vocabulary age-appropriate when you use dialog. I recently finished The Albuquerque Years, a composite memoir of my preschool life. It is written in a voice completely different from anything else I've written. Adding analytical thoughts from today, or "grown-up" words jangled loudly. My sense of things was that it had to be told by a very young child, and left for the reader to analyze. I may refer back to events in later works, but that story had to be what it was.
Thanks for the nudge to share this insight. I've been sitting on it for some time.