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Perks
10-17-2007, 04:44 AM
I had to, at a celebratory dinner, concede and explain to my eight-year-old daughter that there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy.

It went... well.

Much incredulous excitement and revelations lighting up throughout the meal:

"You hide all the Easter Eggs?" hissed at me so that her four-year-old sister can't hear.

She barely ate, because something new occurred to her every second bite.

"You write the labels on all the presents?!"

"You sneak the money and charm in when I lose a tooth?!"

"You bought us Webkinz?!"

And you should have seen her face when I told her that I eat Santa's cookies and the reindeer's carrots. And that they do not go well together, so it's quite a chore and that she can take over that duty in two and a half months time.

Sage
10-17-2007, 04:49 AM
I had to, at a celebratory dinner, concede and explain to my eight-year-old daughter that there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy.What? :e2cry:

Susie
10-17-2007, 04:50 AM
Oh, no! Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy don't exist? :D Glad she took it well.

Pat~
10-17-2007, 04:52 AM
You told her at the dinner table? Brave soul! :D (I bet you also discuss politics and religion without any problem.)

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:00 AM
You told her at the dinner table? Brave soul! :D (I bet you also discuss politics and religion without any problem.)Lol! I have a deplorable habit of launching into graphically gross stories at the table and have to rein myself in - frequently.

The answer was already there in the "we'll talk about this later" so I just went for it. It was nice and noisy, somehow festive and private all at the same time, so really, a fairly fun discussion.

I just put her to bed (late night for here, she's usually long asleep by now) and she asked if I was disappointed that she knew. I'm not. I always knew this would happen and it was a happy exercise figuring out how to tell her how much fun it's been and how much fun it'll be having her as a helper for these next few years while her sister still believes.

It was a good time.

brokenfingers
10-17-2007, 05:03 AM
I don't think there's anything so wondrous as the light of discovery in a child's eyes.

Thanks for a charming and touching story, Perkolet. :)

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:04 AM
I don't think there's anything so wondrous as the light of discovery in a child's eyes.

Thanks for a charming and touching story, Perkolet. :)Thanks, Bill. It was very cool.

Soccer Mom
10-17-2007, 05:05 AM
I was furious when I found out there was no Santa and raged at my mother that it was "Horrible to lie to little children."

Then she told me I could help play Santa and suddenly it was okay to like to little children again, as long as I was the one doing it.



I suspect that my 8yo knows, but is keeping up the pretense. I'm not sure whom he's humoring--me or his little brother.

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:06 AM
Actually, I don't ever remember believing, but I don't know why.

Carole
10-17-2007, 05:07 AM
You know, I don't think we ever had that talk with the boys. Yep - just confirmed it with son #1. He tells me that he and Seth figured it out before they started school and kept up appearances for my sake. The darlings. :)

I thought I did really well making it believable for them, too. We told them that daddy and I bought the presents and Santa filled their stockings. Apparently I didn't fo good enough of a job at it :D.

brokenfingers
10-17-2007, 05:09 AM
I don't actually remember believing also, but I'm sure I did at one point.

I do remember my brother and I laying in our beds in the middle of the night listening to our parents wrap the gifts every year. Talk about agony. :D

Sage
10-17-2007, 05:11 AM
My parents didn't ever have a conversation with me about it. We were shopping without my sister, & they said, "This year Santa's going to get Megan..." whatever it was.

robeiae
10-17-2007, 05:13 AM
I was furious when I found out there was no Santa and raged at my mother that it was "Horrible to lie to little children."
Last week was rough, huh?

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:13 AM
My daughter definitely believed it all, up until about two hours ago.

Maryn
10-17-2007, 05:15 AM
We never did Easter baskets, but our kids bought into Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Oddly, our son believed in the Tooth Fairy long after he knew Santa was me and his daddy. (Santa uses our gift wrap? Right.) This was because one night the Tooth Fairy had been sharing a bottle of wine and just plain forgot. The next night he wrote her a note asking if she were real, and she answered that she'd had such a terribly busy night that she just plain couldn't get to all the boys and girls who'd lost a tooth, but she knew he had everything he needed, including patience, and thanked him for waiting while she took care of poor children first. He wrote her back that he understood now.

Maryn, who still has the notes

melaniehoo
10-17-2007, 05:15 AM
I don't remember when I knew, but to this day, my grandma insists Santa buys us presents. :)

sunna
10-17-2007, 05:18 AM
I believed quite thoroughly, until I took part in a serious discussion about the reality of Santa with some of my classmates, at the age of 6. There were many dissenting opinions, but the clincher was my next-door neighbor, a world-weary girl a year older, who confidently announced that Santa had been real hundreds of years ago, until he slid down the wrong chimney and burned to death.

Her parents were a bit odd, I recall. :)

Siddow
10-17-2007, 05:20 AM
How horrible to hear it from your mother instead of figuring it out on your own!

My husband never believed in Santa, mostly because he never came, but he always came to my house and now my husband is a believer again.

I think it's just as wonderous to see the light in an adult's eyes when they discover that they can create magic. :D

Soccer Mom
10-17-2007, 05:23 AM
Last week was rough, huh?

:e2cry: I've been on a nonstop chocolate milk jag.


My daughter definitely believed it all, up until about two hours ago.

I hope my son takes it that well when we have "the talk."

poetinahat
10-17-2007, 05:25 AM
I still enjoy keeping up the charade. It was understood for years that everyone knew, but we, unspoken, continued the rituals. Why not? We've never had to speak about it. With my own kids, who knows? We'll see.

The thing is that we have a culture clash between my family and my wife's family. At Christmas, my family always gave presents to each other and opened them on Christmas Eve (Swedish tradition, from mom's mom's family). Then, on Christmas Day, we'd open the stockings (with smaller gifts). Hey, presto -- two days of presents, and no conflict about Santa!

If we spend Christmas together, we still do it that way. It's a fun ritual.

I never really saw these things as earth-shattering moments; perhaps I missed out on something. Then again, my dad was a dentist, so I never had any fear of the dentist either. That pretty much evens me out.

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:26 AM
How horrible to hear it from your mother instead of figuring it out on your own!

Well, she flat out asked, so I was faced with my way or a big, fat lie that was going to come back and bite me in the ass very soon.

Voyager
10-17-2007, 05:35 AM
We were never told the Santa Claus story when I was a kid. My mother (who's not wrapped all that tight) said that the Niņo Jesus came at midnight, but he never showed and the same presents that were under the tree at 11:59 were there at 12:01. We had other traditions, the posadas, midnight mass and such, but no Santa, and I never told my kids the story either. So instead of getting, why have you lied to me?, we got, why doesn't Santa come to our house, are we naughty? Ya just can't win with the little boogers.

poetinahat
10-17-2007, 05:37 AM
How horrible to hear it from your mother instead of figuring it out on your own!

I'd think it's better to get it from the source than to find out from someone else, then agonising forever over whether to confront your own parents about the truth.

I'd much prefer hearing it from my parents than having some other kid telling me my parents are liars.

Remaining a 'believer' takes a certain degree of will power in the face of all sorts of evidence, and the obvious logistical impossibilities. We've already told our daughter (she asked too) that department store Santas are really Santa's helpers: he couldn't be at two malls at once, let alone visit every house in the world. And we don't actually have a chimney.

I don't think it's a big deal. It's more about the spirit of the holiday, not whether a fat man can fit down billions of chimneys in a single night.

Siddow
10-17-2007, 05:39 AM
Ah, then she already knew! You're off the hook. :D

Poet, after our family got too big to buy for everyone, we began a tradition of the White Elephant party on Christmas Eve, and Santa comes on Christmas day (for the kids, and me, if I've been good. :D). We have a blast; a buffet, everyone goes home with something, and nobody spends more than $20 on gifts for the extended family.

Jo
10-17-2007, 05:48 AM
You're lucky, Perks.

I couldn't wait to share the secret with the kids. Each year I'd hint and hint... but, no. They didn't guess. In fact, they made up more reasons WHY everything existed. So, I dug myself deeper and deeper into the mountain of separate gift wraps and tags, left-handed note writing, half eaten carrots, luminous red noses in the yard, etc. I had to tell the eldest when he was twelve and in High School, then the other two over the next few years. Last Christmas, everyone was in on it (kids are now 16, 14 and 12). We all be growed ups now. *cough*

*Note* My MG writing includes the Tooth Fairy. The kids truly believed I had inside knowledge on her, Santa and the Easter Bunny. Hehe. I still have all their discarded teeth. I just need to cash them in... With inflation, I'll be rich! Mwahahaha.

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:51 AM
Ah, then she already knew! You're off the hook. :D

Not really. She had heard some kids talking, but didn't believe them and wanted me to reinforce her 'yeah-huh' for the schoolyard. I couldn't do that.

It may sound dreadful, but it wasn't. It was a very good evening.

Perks
10-17-2007, 05:52 AM
I couldn't wait to share the secret with the kids. Each year I'd hint and hint... but, no. They didn't guess. In fact, they made up more reasons WHY everything existed. So, I dug myself deeper and deeper into the mountain of separate gift wraps and tags, left-handed note writing, half eaten carrots, luminous red noses in the yard, etc. I had to tell the eldest when he was twelve and in High School, then the other two over the next few years. Last Christmas, everyone was in on it (kids are now 16, 14 and 12). We all be growed ups now. *cough*

That's amazing! Lol!

Jean Marie
10-17-2007, 05:56 AM
Well, she flat out asked, so I was faced with my way or a big, fat lie that was going to come back and bite me in the ass very soon.
Someone must have let on to her, maybe one of her friends hinted at it.

My brother, the rat fink, woke me up on Christmas Eve when I was about 5 and told me we were going to see Santa Claus. We tiptoed down stairs and hid behind the bannister, yeah right. And there were my parents putting the presents under the tree. I ran upstairs, crying all the way.

He hasn't changed one iota, since.

Glad it went so well for you, Jaimie.

Jo
10-17-2007, 06:11 AM
As mentioned, the best part is the slow dawning of realization. The kids were totally sucked in--but didn't hold that against us. They chalked it up to creativity on all sides. (And didn't they love the extra presents!) The thing was, they couldn't prove Santa, etc. didn't exist...That seed of doubt kept them going when everyone around them had stopped believing.

And yeah, hubby and I were sneaky little buggers. We had to stay up until the early hours until the kids were totally asleep--or pretend we were adjusting their sheets if they woke. They'd ask if Santa had come, and we'd say no (while trying not to rattle the presents). Everyone knows he won't come until you're totally asleep. *giggle* And now the kids know why Mum and Dad were so sleepy on Christmas morning.

Jersey Chick
10-17-2007, 06:29 AM
My mom still won't admit to us (yes, my brother and I, both in our 30s, still get a few gifts from Santa. Mom's wrappings are just a wee bit loose.)

On the other hand, I will hold out until one of my kids (6 & 2) asks. Then I'll change the subject until the youngest is out of the room.

Tooth Fairy's cover almost got blown just the other night when TF woke from a sound sleep at 5:30 AM with the horrifying thought that she hadn't gotten the baby tooth from under my daughter's pillow.

The next morning (this past Sunday, to be exact) my daughter brings down the tooth in the envelope to complain to her dad that TF hadn't been there. I stole it when she wasn't looking, did the swap, and casually mentioned it a few hours later (my daughter hadn't noticed the envelope went missing). TF must have been running late, I said when she found the cold hard cash. She believed me. Disaster averted.

Or she figured she'd play along and that her mom's wrappings were a bit loose. Which is a total possibilty, BTW. :D

Shadow_Ferret
10-17-2007, 07:46 AM
My son is 12. I still haven't told him. I don't believe its my job to do that. My job is to help them keep their innocence for as long as possible, because life is a horrible enough when you learn the truth, why make it horrible sooner?

I still like to believe there is a Santa Claus. I read the "Yes Virginia" letter every Christmas.
Well, she flat out asked, so I was faced with my way or a big, fat lie that was going to come back and bite me in the ass very soon.

Who says its a lie? I can't believe all these writers living without imagination.

WittyandorIronic
10-17-2007, 07:59 AM
Awww Perks. that was a great story. You made something that could have been a little sad and awkward to something fun, a little bit of an "inside" adult secret, and a treat! Thanks for sharing!

A. Hamilton
10-17-2007, 08:04 AM
Too cute, Perks. She sounds very mature.
What's a Webkinz??

benbradley
10-17-2007, 08:10 AM
Gee, with all these revelations, I can imagine the conversation that gets the response:

"You mean I wasn't brought here by the stork?"

Foinah
10-17-2007, 11:32 AM
Perks, I'm glad it went so well. Kids are amazing!!!
I grew up in a pagan house...well and a Catholic one, too. We were taught that Santa was the spirit of Christmas and that Father Christmas was alive in each of us. Little children still had enough magic inside to see his magic. We celebrated the Winter Solstice as a time of joy and light. Easter was a kick. We got baskets and hid eggs, but we celebrated the hare as a symbol of the earth, fertility and spring.
It was cool. I never had a problem with kids believing in the Easter Bunny at school and I was never one of those kids who delighted in bursting younger kids' bubbles, either.

So I still believe in old Saint Nick.

The tooth fairy always freaked me out...

My daughter, who is two, loves Santa Claus and I plan on raising her the same way I was. Believing in the joy and spirit of the season.

Shadow_Ferret
10-17-2007, 05:05 PM
What's a Webkinz??
Webkinz are a horrifying way to get children addicted to the web at an early age. They are the Joe Camel of the Internet.

NeuroFizz
10-17-2007, 05:06 PM
Wait. Who drinks the bottle of Corona I put out each Christmas eve? It's not me.

Shadow_Ferret
10-17-2007, 05:08 PM
*urp!*

Unique
10-17-2007, 06:32 PM
You told her at the dinner table? Brave soul! :D (I bet you also discuss politics and religion without any problem.)

:roll:Ha, Perks! Betcha didn't know it was so obvious.

Yeah, those guys went by the wayside for us some years ago out of necessity. I'm glad she took it well. My grandmother told me. Let's just say ..

I was not amused.

Perks
10-17-2007, 06:48 PM
The Tooth Fairy had left a dollar and a charm bracelet with the first tooth and a dollar and a charm every other time.

My daughter came down this morning and said, "You know I was thinking, when Rianne (her sister) loses her first tooth, I think the Tooth Fairy should make it a necklace, instead of a bracelet. Rianne's always wearing necklaces."

I think she will make an excellent Tooth Fairy.

Shadow_Ferret
10-17-2007, 06:50 PM
Wow. A dollar and a charm? She made out like a bandit. No wonder you told her they didn't exist.

Perks
10-17-2007, 06:54 PM
She's only lost eight teeth so far! And the charms were a buck and change most of them. Yep, it's the lap of luxury for that kid... all the way.

NeuroFizz
10-17-2007, 06:55 PM
I think we should return to a belief in the tooth fairy as we age, particularly if we are faced with the prospect of getting dentures. I little extra beer money couldn't hurt.

poetinahat
10-17-2007, 06:57 PM
I once got a dime, taped to a baseball, for a tooth.

I puzzled for days over how they got it under my pillow without waking me. I mean, pillows shouldn't go 'bonk'.

Perks
10-17-2007, 06:58 PM
:roll:Ha, Perks! Betcha didn't know it was so obvious.

The table is great place to talk about thing. My husband wishes I'd save the discussion about decapitations for... for... well, I guess I don't know where he wants me to talk about that.

Shadow_Ferret
10-17-2007, 07:00 PM
My 7-year-old is starting to suspect the Tooth Fairy. There have been times where I've forgotten and he's gotten up to still find his tooth and no money and I had to slip in and put the money in there. "Are you sure you looked good?" Whereas other times I've completely forgotten to take the tooth because I didn't want to wake him.

The 7-year-old actually told the 12-year-old that there was no Santa Claus, although now he is denying he ever said that.

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 07:05 PM
I had to, at a celebratory dinner, concede and explain to my eight-year-old daughter that there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy.

There's a lot of lies to confess all at once, don't you think? Remember the time when my mom sat me down and told me I wasn't adopted, but I was created when they had sex. It nearly ruined me.

I was 16.

Perks
10-17-2007, 07:07 PM
There's a lot of lies to confess all at once, don't you think? Remember the time when my mom sat me down and told me I wasn't adopted, but I was created when they had sex. It nearly ruined me.

I was 16.
Lies? Okay.

And I wasn't given the choice. She asked about all of them. Which one(s) would you have picked to say was real, Ray?

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 07:09 PM
I think we should return to a belief in the tooth fairy as we age, particularly if we are faced with the prospect of getting dentures. I little extra beer money couldn't hurt.

You see, we Chinese are so much more practical and pragmatic about everything. We don't fool our children into believing in Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy or anything. My dad just threw away my teeth. They didn't bother to give us Christmas presents. We bought Easter eggs and chocolates at the store, and Easter Bunny was just a claymation character on TV. And I knew precisely where all the red pocket money came from during Chinese New Year -- I counted the money every night before going to bed.

No wonder I'm so cynical these days.

I still believe in Michael Jackson, though. I think he's real.

III
10-17-2007, 07:12 PM
We used to be good about faking the Tooth Fairy, but over the years with 4 kids we got sloppy at it. A kid would wake up and run downstairs and say "the Tooth Fairy didn't take my tooth!" And we'd have to say "Eh, she'll probably come this afternoon or tonight. She's probably really busy." I've actually had to put reminders in my Microsoft Outlook - "Call Cheri and remind her to put money under the pillow". We never even had the energy to try faking Santa.

Red-Green
10-17-2007, 07:14 PM
I never believed in Santa, despite my mother's best efforts. Of course, I was a cynical child. When my grandmother tried to get me to pray when I was four, I told her she was crazy. I just figured Jesus was her "invisible friend," like the neighbor kid had.

III
10-17-2007, 07:14 PM
You see, we Chinese are so much more practical and pragmatic about everything. We don't fool our children into believing in Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy or anything. My dad just threw away my teeth. They didn't bother to give us Christmas presents. We bought Easter eggs and chocolates at the store, and Easter Bunny was just a claymation character on TV. And I knew precisely where all the red pocket money came from during Chinese New Year -- I counted the money every night before going to bed.

No wonder I'm so cynical these days.

I still believe in Michael Jackson, though. I think he's real.

Now I recognize you! You were that kid in the movie theater who was laughing his butt off when Tinkerbell died and all the kids were clapping to bring her back to life.

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 07:14 PM
Lies? Okay.

And I wasn't given the choice. She asked about all of them. Which one(s) would you have picked to say was real, Ray?

I would probably keep Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy is so sweet and it's not like an 8yo is going to see the Tooth Fairy any time soon anyway. I mean, by 8 they should have lost all their baby teeth... As for Santa Claus -- it's just a great story and spirit and it makes Christmas special for kids so I'd probably keep it going for as long as possible until they wise up themselves.

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 07:18 PM
Now I recognize you! You were that kid in the movie theater who was laughing his butt off when Tinkerbell died and all the kids were clapping to bring her back to life.

That was me. I did want to marry Sleeping Beauty though.

Perks
10-17-2007, 07:24 PM
I would probably keep Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy is so sweet and it's not like an 8yo is going to see the Tooth Fairy any time soon anyway. I mean, by 8 they should have lost all their baby teeth... As for Santa Claus -- it's just a great story and spirit and it makes Christmas special for kids so I'd probably keep it going for as long as possible until they wise up themselves.
I loved all three. Except no, I really never liked the Easter Bunny. A giant rabbit with eggs and marshmallow barnyard creatures is fairly creepy.

But look, I didn't have any choice. The question that was put to me was, "In school today, T and some other girls were telling me that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren't real. They said that it's just you and Daddy who do all those things. That's not true is it? I don't believe them. But it's not you, right?"

I couldn't send her back there today to defend the fable the other other girls already knew was just a game. It would be heartless to set her up for that kind of ridicule. She's old enough to know - and, more importantly, old enough to be really pissed if I lined her up in the crosshairs of the other kids.

I would never have sat her down to 'spoil' the legends. That would have been a drag and needlessly morose.

I did the best I could.

reigningcatsndogs
10-17-2007, 07:36 PM
My oldest found us out very early, about 6, when we were hiding the presents under the tree, and played along for years, but always with that smug smile he has perfected. The most wonderful thing after that, though, was to see how hard he now works to preserve the whole Santa Claus thing for my younger boy, who will be (OMG!! NO!!!) 16 next week. Even when the boys went to public school still, Tony would listen to what they would say, and then silently process it as 'you guys are so wrong and are so missing out'. He figures its just not worth the risk of not believing, so he hangs on to it. I know for the most part he understands what happens at Christmas with the presents and all, but there's just this little part of him that has hope that the rest of us are all wrong (and I don't argue with him -- I'm a bit of a Virginia myself). He also has the keen perception to see Santa as more than just the guy with the presents, but more as the guy with the smiles and the songs and the decorations....

So now, Greg works his butt off to make sure that Tony's illusions are not shattered, and Tony walks around with the sorta smug smile watching Greg jump through the hoops, and I sit back and laugh. I have to admit though, its kinda neat still having that 'Santa's watching' schtick in the old parenting bag of tricks! :D

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 07:37 PM
Yeah, kids can be cruel... did you tell your daughter not to spoil it for other kids, though? You don't want other parents to call you and say, "Now what have you done?"

Perks
10-17-2007, 07:38 PM
Yeah, kids can be cruel... did you tell your daughter not to spoil it for other kids, though? You don't want other parents to call you and say, "Now what have you done?"No, Ray, it never occurred to me. I'm not much of a thinker.

Unique
10-17-2007, 07:47 PM
My dad just threw away my teeth.
No wonder I'm so cynical these days.

I still believe in Michael Jackson, though. I think he's real.

What? I save them. His, mine, yours - anyone's really. As long as they part with them grac- er ... willingly. :D

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 08:01 PM
* Imagining Unique's dig with all those teeth... *

SHUDDER

C.bronco
10-17-2007, 08:05 PM
What do you mean, they don't exist? Here in New Jersey, we even have The Binky Fairy who takes away binkies when boys are big, and leaves a Thomas the Tank Engine present in its wake.
Maybe it's the convenience of public transportation, or access to NYC, but we definitely have Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

maestrowork
10-17-2007, 08:06 PM
I believe in Frosty.

/ must go to a Dairy Queen today /

A. Hamilton
10-17-2007, 08:07 PM
What? I save them. His, mine, yours - anyone's really. As long as they part with them grac- er ... willingly. :D
I have a little ceramic box full of my (5) kids' teeth. Well, not all of them-some got lost through the years.
One daughter always wrote notes to the tooth fairy-they're so cute.