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I posted this in the short stories section to no avail. Since it's a comedic story and I'm testing the waters with a new style, I figured it'd be best to post here.
Right now I'm writing a short story that's experimental in design and I wanted some opinions on it.
For the main story we have a sugar-coated tale of this guy traveling to perform a comedy routine. It's sugar-coated at the behest of his girlfriend/wife (undecided on that at the moment) however, he's a wiseass and has added in his own footnotes to the sugar-coated portions of the story. So we have the main body of the story teling the basic outline with the real meat running parallel in the footnotes, the snide/funny comments, how the guy really felt about this person or that.
Does this sound like something readable? I know for me reading footnotes can get annoying and detract from what you're actually reading but with this story, that's the point. What's being told isn't what's really interesting; it's what's in the footnotes that tells the story. Just think of a guy writing something down and then mumbling at the moments that he knows aren't describing what he was thinking at that moment. Could this work? Would it need to be seen in order to be judged? Should I meld the footnotes into the story? Or have one with footnotes, one without and see which one works better?
Right now I'm writing a short story that's experimental in design and I wanted some opinions on it.
For the main story we have a sugar-coated tale of this guy traveling to perform a comedy routine. It's sugar-coated at the behest of his girlfriend/wife (undecided on that at the moment) however, he's a wiseass and has added in his own footnotes to the sugar-coated portions of the story. So we have the main body of the story teling the basic outline with the real meat running parallel in the footnotes, the snide/funny comments, how the guy really felt about this person or that.
Does this sound like something readable? I know for me reading footnotes can get annoying and detract from what you're actually reading but with this story, that's the point. What's being told isn't what's really interesting; it's what's in the footnotes that tells the story. Just think of a guy writing something down and then mumbling at the moments that he knows aren't describing what he was thinking at that moment. Could this work? Would it need to be seen in order to be judged? Should I meld the footnotes into the story? Or have one with footnotes, one without and see which one works better?