PDA

View Full Version : How to have a meaningful conversation with a man



scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 12:56 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

Rolling Thunder
10-11-2007, 12:58 AM
Okay.

brokenfingers
10-11-2007, 12:59 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.I thought that worked for the "How To Get A Man To Fall In Love With You" thread.

KTC
10-11-2007, 12:59 AM
I just want to be understood.

Meerkat
10-11-2007, 01:01 AM
What about closure Scarlet--you forgot closure!

scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 01:03 AM
Screw closure. I want beer.

KTC
10-11-2007, 01:03 AM
Who's this closure chick?

Azraelsbane
10-11-2007, 01:08 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

My husband likes naked chicks and beer. The same way I like naked men and rum. However, Mike (husband) was a difficult catch. He once cried because I didn't remember the color of the curtains in our bedroom, and therefore, since I didn't care about the home we shared, I probably wasn't serious about him, either. :e2smack:

My husband is trying to make a kind, thoughtful woman out of me, and I just can't say no to those beautiful tri-colored eyes. Help! :e2drown:

davids
10-11-2007, 01:21 AM
My husband likes naked chicks and beer. The same way I like naked men and rum. However, Mike (husband) was a difficult catch. He once cried because I didn't remember the color of the curtains in our bedroom, and therefore, since I didn't care about the home we shared, I probably wasn't serious about him, either. :e2smack:

My husband is trying to make a kind, thoughtful woman out of me, and I just can't say no to those beautiful tri-colored eyes. Help! :e2drown:

Careful girl-most good writers are well know for being bitches!!!!

scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 01:25 AM
Not me, though, davids. :D (Well only if you askipate nicely).

Perks
10-11-2007, 01:25 AM
Careful girl-most good writers are well know for being bitches!!!!
Fantastic! I'm a shoo-in.

scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 01:26 AM
But are you naked? And do you have beer?

Perks
10-11-2007, 01:29 AM
I'm certainly naked under my clothes and I'm positively afloat in beer.

davids
10-11-2007, 01:30 AM
I stand correctipated-party on Dave's boat moored in San Diego harbor-easy to find there is a trail of dead bodies coated in expensive Scotch that'll lead you right to me!!!

Hysterical laugh 101-HQHQHQHHHH1H1HHHQHHQHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHWRTR ETC ETC.

I am naked my dog is naked my mother is naked and the old girl is in Berlin-naked of course!!!! On second thought you better just drink the beer and forget me-I am so slow and killer dillpickle like-green warts know what I mean??

maestrowork
10-11-2007, 01:30 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

Thread locked.

Azraelsbane
10-11-2007, 01:32 AM
Careful girl-most good writers are well know for being bitches!!!!

Well, I'm a bitch to everyone else. My husband is the only one who can make me feel all squishy inside. Bastard's been doing it for a decade! Think I'll still be bitch enough to make a decent writer? ;)

davids
10-11-2007, 01:33 AM
Well, I'm a bitch to everyone else. My husband is the only one who can make me feel all squishy inside. Bastard's been doing it for a decade! Think I'll still be bitch enough to make a decent writer? ;)

You betcha and your old man is a lucky bastardo I think and you are purdy as well-aint I bein sweet for a bitch?

Melisande
10-11-2007, 01:37 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

I agree with the beer, but if you're naked he won't be thinking about having a conversation.

I'd say, bring beer and hide the remote.

joyce
10-11-2007, 01:41 AM
I agree with the beer, but if you're naked he won't be thinking about having a conversation.

I'd say, bring beer and hide the remote.

Ain't this the truth.

scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 01:41 AM
I agree with the beer, but if you're naked he won't be thinking about having a conversation.

I'd say, bring beer and hide the remote.


Ain't this the truth.

Who wants to have a conversation when there's beer, anyway???

Melisande
10-11-2007, 01:46 AM
Who wants to have a conversation when there's beer, anyway???

Well, I've known many men who, after a couple of beers, suddenly believes that their IQ just went up a coupla hundered percent, and that gives them a real conversational boost.

scarletpeaches
10-11-2007, 01:49 AM
I've known many women like that too.

davids
10-11-2007, 01:53 AM
I once met a Hermaphrodite who enjoyed and employed beer on a stick!

Azraelsbane
10-11-2007, 01:54 AM
Well, I've known many men who, after a couple of beers, suddenly believes that their IQ just went up a coupla hundered percent, and that gives them a real conversational boost.

My husband doesn't think he's smarter when he's drunk. Actually, after the third beer I don't think he does anything besides giggle like a schoolgirl.

I tend to get philosophical and chatty when I'm drunk. I'm well known as a buzzkill. ;)

Azraelsbane
10-11-2007, 01:55 AM
I once met a Hermaphrodite who enjoyed and employed beer on a stick!

What was that about beer on their stick?

Sunkissed27f
10-11-2007, 01:57 AM
My turn:

Q. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment!
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute!

Ahem:
Woman: "Honey take out the trash, please."
Man: "I'm watching the game."
Woman: "I will give you some if you do."
He takes out the trash and the woman gives him some dinner.

Melisande
10-11-2007, 02:17 AM
I've known many women like that too.

How right you are!

Shadow_Ferret
10-11-2007, 03:28 AM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.
Thanks for the beer.

Now get the hell out.

Vincent
10-11-2007, 03:34 PM
That is not a good look for you, peaches.

Bring back the sexytime camel.

David Erlewine
10-11-2007, 03:40 PM
Hiding the remote will not stimulate conversation, at least not for me. It will send me on a journey. If said journey lasts longer than one or two minutes, it will take a turn for the worse, replete with classic one-liners like "where the F*** is this G********* thing I just F****** had it!".

III
10-11-2007, 03:50 PM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

Hmmm, I guess I can give that a try. Kevin, what kind of beer do you like and what time should I be there?

poetinahat
10-11-2007, 04:10 PM
Just ask him: Are you man enough for this? (http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/225) (completely safe for work)

III
10-11-2007, 04:14 PM
mmmmm Gravyyyyyy.

larocca
10-11-2007, 04:57 PM
Hic!

BenPanced
10-11-2007, 06:25 PM
Ask him about the book he's writing.

larocca
10-11-2007, 06:49 PM
Oh man, its and edge of your seat thriller! Everybody loves my writing even people who don't like me! And it's in the Civil War, and its about these two brothers who are on opposite sides, and I have like all these other ideas too!

Jaycinth
10-11-2007, 07:15 PM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.

Well, duh!

Sometimes I text him:

(*)(*)..

writerterri
10-11-2007, 09:00 PM
Show up naked.

Bring beer.


What if they don't drink beer?

larocca
10-11-2007, 09:03 PM
What if they don't drink beer?

Then they're obviously not men, you dork.

writerterri
10-11-2007, 09:03 PM
Well, duh!

Sometimes I text him:

(*)(*)..


Gravity after 40...

! !

writerterri
10-11-2007, 09:05 PM
Then they're obviously not men, you dork.


Right. :tongue


Dork.


I'll try red lipstick. Naked. Works. Every. Time. :D

larocca
10-11-2007, 09:06 PM
Gravity after 40...

! !

Most guys go blind after 40. There's such balance in nature...

writerterri
10-11-2007, 09:12 PM
Most guys go blind after 40. There's such balance in nature...


:Hug2::hooray::roll:



And I've started to lie on my back (cause it's still light out, cause we're too tired to do it at night) and I look younger. Things seem to droop in the oppisite direction when I'm on my back.

You should try this ladies. It takes 10 years off of you.

WerenCole
10-11-2007, 09:15 PM
If you what you mean by "meaningful" means getting banged on the floor and covered with beer suds while I eat a sandwich. . . yes. I think you are spot on.

larocca
10-11-2007, 09:26 PM
I just got an email with a subject line telling me to enlarge my breasts in a safe and natural way. Y'know, it's never been a problem for me. That's what the beer is for.

C.bronco
10-11-2007, 09:41 PM
How to have a meaningful conversation with a man? That's easy: talk to him like he's a regular person. Yanno, we are the same species after all.

writerterri
10-11-2007, 10:27 PM
If you what you mean by "meaningful" means getting banged on the floor and covered with beer suds while I eat a sandwich. . . yes. I think you are spot on.


Hey, Weren, come out of you sex/sports department. We want to have a meaningful conversation.

Jaycinth
10-11-2007, 10:33 PM
Gravity after 40...

! !


Pssst Terri....I have a secret...I'm over 40.
Freeweights. Pushups. Benchpresses. Repeats.

Plus...you always give a guy a beer 10 min BEFORE you take your shirt off!!

AHEM:
I had a very meaningful conversation with my beta the other day:

Jay: You gonna shoot him with that?
Beta: Yeah. Pass me a beer will ya?

writerterri
10-11-2007, 11:03 PM
Pssst Terri....I have a secret...I'm over 40.
Freeweights. Pushups. Benchpresses. Repeats.

Plus...you always give a guy a beer 10 min BEFORE you take your shirt off!!

AHEM:
I had a very meaningful conversation with my beta the other day:

Jay: You gonna shoot him with that?
Beta: Yeah. Pass me a beer will ya?

~giggle~

Lucky dork.

If I errect my shoulders, they perk.

JLCwrites
10-11-2007, 11:03 PM
Bring him his slippers and look interested when he talks about important stuff. Then be a good little broad and make him his supper.



Im sorry, I just couldn't type this with a straight face.

writerterri
10-11-2007, 11:05 PM
Bring him his slippers and look interested when he talks about important stuff. Then be a good little broad and make him his supper.



Im sorry, I just couldn't type this with a straight face.


OMGosh! That happened just last night. At my house. Bummer.

I am the better half!

writerterri
10-11-2007, 11:06 PM
I'm begining to think he has me trained...

maestrowork
10-11-2007, 11:25 PM
I just got this in a fortune cookie (honest!):

A man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.


The problem with communication, I think, is when one tries to dominate the other. They're not really communicating, but instead "fighting" for who is right or wrong, or who does more around the house, or who is the better parent, or...

Inky
10-11-2007, 11:26 PM
Have portable pole.
Enables one to set up shop anywhere.

Inky
10-11-2007, 11:27 PM
I just got this in a fortune cooke (honest!):

A man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
A woman's best possession is a man willing to wear chocolate pants.

maestrowork
10-11-2007, 11:28 PM
then a man's best possession is a woman who loves to eat chocolate...

Inky
10-11-2007, 11:28 PM
*sets up pole...removes outer clothing...curls leg around pole...arches back*

The doctor will see you now.

Inky
10-11-2007, 11:29 PM
then a man's best possession is a woman who loves to eat chocolate...
A woman's best position is...er...possession is a man who doesn't mind being finger lickin' good.

JLCwrites
10-11-2007, 11:45 PM
I just got this in a fortune cooke (honest!):

A man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.


The problem with communication, I think, is when one tries to dominate the other. They're not really communicating, but instead "fighting" for who is right or wrong, or who does more around the house, or who is the better parent, or...

Hence, the reason why you should marry your best friend. Mutual respect.

scarletpeaches
10-12-2007, 01:25 AM
Who would have thought it? A thread of mine turning to depravity by page three.

I'm so proud.

davids
10-12-2007, 03:01 AM
Spam javelin anyone!!!

benbradley
10-12-2007, 05:31 AM
Advice for women: How not to get a man...
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0941966120071010

Inky
10-12-2007, 12:54 PM
think I'm gonna have to eat Ben...er...his avatar...

Rolling Thunder
10-12-2007, 02:38 PM
You shouldn't talk with your mouth full. Well, at least in this thread you shouldn't.

Inky
10-12-2007, 05:00 PM
*dips fingers into Ben*
Yeah....*smack* but....*lick, slurp, smack*....

Screw being a lady!

*grabs Ben's avatar....licks and licks and licks and licks....

NeuroFizz
10-12-2007, 05:08 PM
A man's best possession is a thorough knowledge of the female anatomy...and physiology.

Inky
10-12-2007, 05:10 PM
*looks up from sticky mess*

....eh?

C.bronco
10-12-2007, 05:28 PM
Advice for women: How not to get a man...
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0941966120071010
That's excellent! I think that those who try to find a free ride and easy way out end up further behind and worse off from where they started 99.9% of the time. But that's just my observation.

The only argument I have against the article is that some women become more attractive after 30.

NeuroFizz
10-12-2007, 05:37 PM
Seeking a male ticket to a better life has long been a strategy with some females. The shame is many males are equally shallow and join the game.

Jaycinth
10-12-2007, 05:40 PM
Another thing that works is the implication that all of your fashion purchases come from either Fredrick's or Victoria's.

Combine that with the implication that you have a big screen tv, a pool table and a fridge with 2 kinds of beer....

Well.

dobiwon
10-12-2007, 05:48 PM
I only have two comments:

The only argument I have against the article is that some women become more attractive after 30.If this is still referring to beer, the number is probably closer to 3.

Bring beerBe careful of the quantity. Or else the only conversation will be "Where's the john?"

scarletpeaches
10-12-2007, 08:17 PM
A man's best possession is a thorough knowledge of the female anatomy...and physiology.

...and the fact the greatest erogenous zone in the human body is our brain.

C.bronco
10-12-2007, 08:22 PM
I only have two comments:
If this is still referring to beer, the number is probably closer to 3.
Be careful of the quantity. Or else the only conversation will be "Where's the john?"


Oh! I meant 30 years old, not 30 beers! LOL

Vincent
10-12-2007, 08:23 PM
...and the fact the greatest erogenous zone in the human body is our brain.

Well, that's pretty pointless. The skull is in the way.

Inky
10-12-2007, 10:39 PM
bleh

Inky
10-12-2007, 10:52 PM
uh hem: cook well, clean well (preferably half dressed), don't ask loaded questions, serve during sports events, own 65 inch television...who needs conversation?

Oh...is that the man's line?
My bad.
It's what turned me on 'bout my husband.