- Joined
- Oct 9, 2007
- Messages
- 937
- Reaction score
- 248
I have always written, but I have never really been serious about it. I had a million ideas, and a million other things to do , and therefore only dabbled with a chapter or two. I would then edit those chapters until they were lifeless, and the story would die a slow, slightly forgotten death.
Recently, I found myself with a lot of time, and only one idea. I started banging out an outline, wrote a little, and then thought of a revised outline for the entire book (this has never actually happened, and I was quite ecstatic). Plot holes filled themselves, characters came to life, even secondary characters had robust histories and personalities. I sketched out architecture and room dimensions, wrote time lines and paired historical events with my own story. Yesterday, I hit 20,000 words of actual story and dialog, not just random musings of what they "might" do. 20,000 words, nearly in order, scene after scene that after rereading was STILL humorous, heart-wrenching, and sometimes even amorous. I WAS A GOD(DESS).
And then....
nothing.
At 20,001 words, not only am I stymied for things to write, but upon forcing myself I find the scenes lackluster and boring at best, and I have a deep, stomach turning fear that it is gone. It is all gone, NEVER to come back. I will not pick up the story next week, or even next month. I will NEVER be able to write about these characters, in this setting, ever again. The farthest I have ever gotten on a manuscript is NOT far enough, and it will never be far enough. PANIC!!!
So to keep this from being a rant, and actually providing something positive for myself and others, I would like to know:
Is this writer's block?
Was my previous assumption that it was just a lack of creativity to be solved with time and a crossword puzzle so simple as to be insulting? Is the true pain of writer's block not the actual inability to write, but rather the fear and panic that you might NEVER be able to write again? If not, does that mean I need clinical help? If so, am I doomed to be the next Henry Roth? (he had WB for 60 years)
And, to find the silver lining, does having 'writer's block' then make me a writer?
I would hate to suffer alone. Please, post your own stories of WB. We can commiserate.
Recently, I found myself with a lot of time, and only one idea. I started banging out an outline, wrote a little, and then thought of a revised outline for the entire book (this has never actually happened, and I was quite ecstatic). Plot holes filled themselves, characters came to life, even secondary characters had robust histories and personalities. I sketched out architecture and room dimensions, wrote time lines and paired historical events with my own story. Yesterday, I hit 20,000 words of actual story and dialog, not just random musings of what they "might" do. 20,000 words, nearly in order, scene after scene that after rereading was STILL humorous, heart-wrenching, and sometimes even amorous. I WAS A GOD(DESS).
And then....
nothing.
At 20,001 words, not only am I stymied for things to write, but upon forcing myself I find the scenes lackluster and boring at best, and I have a deep, stomach turning fear that it is gone. It is all gone, NEVER to come back. I will not pick up the story next week, or even next month. I will NEVER be able to write about these characters, in this setting, ever again. The farthest I have ever gotten on a manuscript is NOT far enough, and it will never be far enough. PANIC!!!
So to keep this from being a rant, and actually providing something positive for myself and others, I would like to know:
Is this writer's block?
Was my previous assumption that it was just a lack of creativity to be solved with time and a crossword puzzle so simple as to be insulting? Is the true pain of writer's block not the actual inability to write, but rather the fear and panic that you might NEVER be able to write again? If not, does that mean I need clinical help? If so, am I doomed to be the next Henry Roth? (he had WB for 60 years)
And, to find the silver lining, does having 'writer's block' then make me a writer?
I would hate to suffer alone. Please, post your own stories of WB. We can commiserate.