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View Full Version : Bah ha ha ha ha! My mom's dumber than hell



TsukiRyoko
10-08-2007, 08:54 AM
I just got a call that my mother might be getting arrested. I haven't seen or talked to my mother in about 3 months, so I was very surprised to see her cell phone number on the caller ID.

Apparently, she had taken her boyfriend out to drink and gamble, and caused some trouble (she's a terrible drunk [only two drinks get her pissed off and wasted. There's no way I'm her daughter- I'm a happy, olympic drinker]). She had somehow come to the conclusion that her boyfriend was cheating on her with his ex-wife, and she ended up beating the crap out of him in the middle of wherever they were gambling (okay, maybe I am really her daughter...). She fled the scene, leaving him unconscious on the ground in the middle of a very public place.

:D Damn, that's one dumb ho. If she gets arrested for being a disorderly drunk and assault, it'll be the highlight of my entire year. She needs to be repayed for some of the crap she's pulled on us. I'll poke bird treats between the bars of her cell for her *does a jig*

Bartholomew
10-08-2007, 09:03 AM
That's... erm... great news? o.o

SpookyWriter
10-08-2007, 09:05 AM
Ditto what bart said, I think.

TsukiRyoko
10-08-2007, 09:17 AM
That's... erm... great news? o.o
Trust me, it is. That woman needed to be put in jail years ago. I'm actually surprised she didn't get into some big trouble over the legal fraud she pulled during the divorce. Karma's gonna kick that wench in the butt someday (hopefully before the night's up).

benbradley
10-08-2007, 09:41 AM
So, are you shopping your memoir around? How would you like to be on Dr. Phil?

ETA: The Dr. Phil quip is just a joke, it's clear you're much smarter than your mother or either of that mother/daughter team going for a PA "contract"...

threedogpeople
10-08-2007, 10:24 AM
Tsuki,

Hope it all turns out for the best.

Judy

DamaNegra
10-08-2007, 10:32 AM
Well, if you say so, then that's awesome :D






























I wish my mom could kick ass too...

Jaycinth
10-08-2007, 06:26 PM
Tsuki....I am so sorry I put you up for adoption all those years ago. Hillary made me do it!!

She said Bill didn't need no 'love child'.

I am so ashamed. Will you ever forgive me?????

SherryTex
10-08-2007, 10:02 PM
Tsuki,

I'm just sorry the story is so very sad itself. What a mess.

Backward Masking
10-08-2007, 10:12 PM
A bittersweet celebration.

thethinker42
10-09-2007, 01:12 AM
So your mom's a loon, and your dad is convinced that I'm a transsexual serial killer who's going to dump your chopped up body in the woods.

Ya know, therapy is relatively cheap these days...

TsukiRyoko
10-09-2007, 06:57 AM
So your mom's a loon, and your dad is convinced that I'm a transsexual serial killer who's going to dump your chopped up body in the woods. And you all wonder where I get it.




Ya know, therapy is relatively cheap these days...
Can't afford it. You forget that I live in West Virginia.

Jaycinth
10-09-2007, 05:23 PM
Can't afford it. You forget that I live in West Virginia.

I know a few people who say moving to West Virginia IS THERAPY!

.....blue ridge mountains....

Bmwhtly
10-09-2007, 05:34 PM
I know a few people who say moving to West Virginia IS THERAPY!You mean Torture.
Right?

RumpleTumbler
10-09-2007, 05:41 PM
You forget that I live in West Virginia.

One of the most beautiful scenes I can remember is breaking out of a storm over the Shenandoah Valley. We were busy as hell though...about to land so I didn't get to enjoy it much. Pretty country up there....though technically that's not West VA. :)

Sunkissed27f
10-09-2007, 05:48 PM
*Sigh* http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/confused002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

Misfit little teens.....raging against their mothers.....!

What is this world coming to?

No matter how much of a "stupid ho" she is...she's still your mother!

You need a spanking for that and thethinker42 will give it to you!

NeuroFizz
10-09-2007, 05:50 PM
Rise above it, Tsuki. Don't stoop to her level. To me, you've displayed a tremendous resiliency. Let her misery surround her, but keep it off your shoulders, if you can.

Unique
10-09-2007, 06:07 PM
Tsuki - you are learning from her mistakes. Rejoice!

There are two kinds of examples: how to be and how not to be. She is giving you a living example of how not to be; so although you think she is giving you nothing, she is actually giving you something of great value.

i.e. always look for the silver lining and take what you can get while you can get it. :D

Jaycinth
10-09-2007, 06:20 PM
Tsuki is eternally cream and rises above the problems that life seems to constantly fling on her.

However in a few years she'll be 21, then she'll get a gun to take care of 'things'

Bmwhtly
10-09-2007, 06:23 PM
i.e. always look for the silver lining and take what you can get while you can get it. :DSo...

When a relationship ends, Look at the freedom you get and steal everything of value before you give their apartment key back?

Unique, you must be a great mum :D

C.bronco
10-09-2007, 07:12 PM
Karma's gonna kick that wench in the butt someday (hopefully before the night's up).

It probably will, but by the time it does, there's usually not much satisfaction in it. It's less of a "HA HA!" moment and more of an acknowledgement that the person dug his or her own hole, and eventually the world caught onto what was really happening; grim and pathetic, but not worth a "neener neener."

TsukiRyoko
10-09-2007, 08:37 PM
No matter how much of a "stupid ho" she is...she's still your mother!


Actually, I technically disowned her a while back (it's true, you can do it, it's called divorce court). I haven't seen her, talked to her, or made any other contact with her aside from that phone call in about three months.

She starts stuff like this all the time. She's an unpleasant woman to be around, drama follows her like a plague, she's loud and violent and mean, and she refuses to get therapy for her problems (she's bipolar, depressive, and has severe anger problems) and I'll be damned if I ever live with her crazy ass again. Not to mention the fact that she stole most of our money, cashed in mine and my sister's life insurances policies and all of our savings bonds to go gambling, and has weaseled her way out of everything she's ever been in by means of fraud and having family connections to the police and government.

She is, in essence, a stupid ho, and I hope like hell she gets arrested because she deserves it.

TsukiRyoko
10-09-2007, 08:39 PM
Rise above it, Tsuki. Don't stoop to her level. To me, you've displayed a tremendous resiliency. Let her misery surround her, but keep it off your shoulders, if you can.
I plan on it. I'm staying away from the situation, but I did tell my sis to inform me if she gets into any trouble, because I wanna watch. Other than that, she's on her own with this one (she actually called me for help. Heh!).

thethinker42
10-09-2007, 09:51 PM
And you all wonder where I get it.

Not in the slightest.


Can't afford it. You forget that I live in West Virginia.

Well, part of the therapy would probably include getting rid of the banjo and getting the fark out of West Virginia...

thethinker42
10-09-2007, 09:52 PM
You need a spanking for that and thethinker42 will give it to you!

Way to ruin the surprise, biatch...

Soccer Mom
10-09-2007, 09:56 PM
Tsuki cut all contact with bad mommy. She doesn't need her. Her REAL mother does just fine.

You know what to do when bad mommy calls. "Um, that's nice. Thanks for calling." Hang up. Laugh your ass off. Then email or PM REAL mother.

ErylRavenwell
10-10-2007, 10:39 AM
Tsuki is a brilliant girl. She'll prevail.