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Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-04-2007, 02:00 AM
Sex! Historical Faction! And pure, unadulterated OFG!

Folks, we're coming up on the One Year Anniversary of the Auction House of Ol' Fashioned Girl and her Minion, Silver King. In the last 11 months or so, we've managed to raise almost $5000.00 to help AW in its efforts to provide a place for learning, support, comaraderie, publicity, and fun.

It's been a while since I donated anything for auction, personally, so I got to looking around and wondering what I could come up with that might generate a buck or two... it's Halloween month... I'm Wiccan... hmmmmm...

And guess what I found!?

I found an extra copy of this:


http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q172/liadano/EOT.jpg


“It was the history of an age, the story of a kingdom. It involved the destruction of a religion and the fall of a queen. It was set in a time of extremes: wealth, poverty, obsession, fear, love, hatred, complexity and utmost simplicity; and it could only be controlled and manipulated by those with the greatest of evil intent. It was the life of Henry Tudor and his Anne. Their tale has been told many a time, in many a fashion, from many an angle, yet there is but one truth. Let us tell it.”

I’ve been told it’s pretty good. A few of you have read it in it’s electronic form… go ahead and tell the folks what you thought.

Caveat Emptor, however. This IS a PA book! It has not been professionally edited, but it also hasn’t been touched by PA’s editors! That’s GOT to be a plus!

Caveat Emptor #2: This book has adult situations, graphic violence, and sexual content. It's got love. It's got witchcraft. Did I mention the sex?That alone’s worth an opening bid of $5.00, ain’t it?

I’ll mail this sucker anywhere in the world… I’ll personalize the inscription (for what that's worth)… and I’ll love you forever. Really.

And I’ll be so embarrassed if no one wants it.



IT’S FOR A GOOD CAUSE! BID!

Auction starts right NOW and ends Sunday, October 7, 8PM, CDT. Please keep your bids in whole dollars.

Bidder up!

Please? :e2cry:

san_remo_ave
10-04-2007, 02:52 AM
You've got me hooked, OFG.

$5 it is!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-04-2007, 02:54 AM
Oh! San! Bless you! ::sniff:: I was afraid I was going to have to get Ol' Boy to sign up and make a shill bid!

I have $5!!! Who'll take pity on my ego and bid $10?

JennaGlatzer
10-04-2007, 02:57 AM
Me. :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-04-2007, 03:34 AM
Oh! Gosh! Jenna's bidding $10... who'll gimme $15?

wyntermoon
10-04-2007, 05:33 AM
I will!

Inky
10-04-2007, 07:29 AM
25.00

Inky
10-04-2007, 07:30 AM
...you had me at the sex parts...

Dawno
10-04-2007, 07:34 AM
$30!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-04-2007, 03:12 PM
You love me! You really love me!

Or you're suckers for helping AW. :D

I've got $30 from Dawno... dare I ask for $35?

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 03:54 AM
All day without another bid!?

Do I need to post an excerpt?

Silver King
10-05-2007, 04:42 AM
All day without another bid!?

Do I need to post an excerpt?
Yes! Post the bathtub scene where Carolyn and Henry are united in a blistering union that sets the pages of the book on fire and keeps the reader's breathing labored as the images of lustful abandon and ecstasy are forever seared into the mind. :)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 04:45 AM
Uh... are you sure it's safe for a... um... family-oriented thread? :) I'd have to bleep 92.4% of it out!

Silver King
10-05-2007, 04:50 AM
Uh... are you sure it's safe for a... um... family-oriented thread? :) I'd have to bleep 92.4% of it out!
I hadn't thought of that. Maybe we could change the thread title to include NC17?

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 04:54 AM
Or maybe... oh... NC45?

Silver King
10-05-2007, 05:04 AM
Or maybe... oh... NC45?
Okay, well how about part of the scene that takes place with James Seaman under the tree? That one's my second favorite. :)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 06:08 AM
Judiciously chosen, to maintain decorum. ;)

James opened his eyes, green-gold in the strong moonlight, and forgot to shiver in the night air. The woman above him, her hands stroking the hair on his chest and sliding up his outstretched arms to his wrists, pinned him to the forest floor, pressing her still fully-clothed breasts to him. Her right hand reached his palm and began a lazy journey back to his belt and the dagger he wore there for ornament more than use. She unsheathed it, rising to sit upright, still astride him, and pressed the point of it to the skin just above his heart.



“You must do as I say,” she said. “You lost.” A very small smile turned up one corner of her full lips.


James could think of nothing save crushing both them and her beneath him, and soon. The knife glittered in her hand, its pressure making a tiny dimple in his skin. “Command and let it be done,” he smirked. He liked the game: raping was not to his taste, but being raped by this woman might be another matter all together.


“Undo my top,” she ordered.


He reached around the knife, his fingers thick and tingling from lack of blood in them from their being held over his head. He fumbled as best he could through two layers of her clothes and finally freed the silk blouse from its vests and jackets. Beneath it, a soft corset unlike any he had ever touched kept the softest parts of her from him. Under her, he thrust upward, lifting her as easily as the destrier had done and with much more need, then lowered her and raised her again.


“I have not instructed you to do that yet.” She kissed him then, the knife point still between them and still pressed to the skin just below his ribs. Her lips were soft, but her teeth nipped his lips in only partially-controlled passion. “Put your hands back above your head,” she said breathlessly.


James did so, listening to the roar of his own blood in his ears, and watched as she used her free hand to untie the cord at his waist. He closed his eyes again then, savoring the feel of her cool hand slipping inside his tights to rest on the heat between his thighs. He could feel his heart beating there as well. He thrust against her hand once or twice, almost lazily, all the while aware of the cold blade just inches away. Above him, the midnight sky was silver-black, bright stars almost bleached out by the brightness of the full, white moon. She moved above him, fitting herself over him, taking him inside her as his eyes met hers.


“Could you think of no more orders, my lady?”


Her voice was strange, almost masculine, and far away, when she answered, “Do it…do it, now…”


Some of the roots of the oak were thick and had been washed free of their protective covering of dirt by England’s frequent rain. James slipped his hand beneath one which seemed made for just this use, and used it to push against as he obeyed Carolyn. He had never known such need, had never felt such heated response from any woman, and had certainly never had a weapon held to his side while making love. The combination of the pounding in his loins with the slick, wantonness of the widow and the cold of the metal at his ribs caused a quick, almost painful explosion she obviously shared. The stars above him burst and showered sparkling light over them, bathing her hair in a blue-black shimmer he wanted to see above or below him forever. A warmth that was almost hot started in his stomach and spread over his chest, up and over his shoulders, down and around his waist and hips. Her spine was arched and she stiffened, gripping him tightly where no woman had gripped him before, as she rocked gently forward and back on his crotch, softly keening. It was a sound he had never heard and would never hear again, a low, sad wail and it seemed to fill his head, drowning out the sound of his own blood as it roared past his ears.


It was then he saw the knife. It was no longer in her hand. Its point no longer gently dimpled his skin; it was buried to the hilt in his heart, his blood no longer contained safely within it. His life ran in rivulets down his side. It overflowed his navel, filled the hollow of his rib cage and made a shallow lake over his stomach in the v-shaped area framed by her legs.


James Seaman could think of nothing to say. His eyes were round, wide open, watching the knife quiver with every weakening beat of his heart. Their whites glowed blue in the darkness.


Carolyn studied the look on James’ face. It reminded her of a frightened animal. She just sat there as she did so, his blood lapping at her inner thighs, waiting for him to die. “It shouldn’t hurt,” she said absently. “Tell me if it does.”


James’ voice caught in his throat, crackling and breaking over the dry patch just back of his tongue. “W-why?” he stuttered, “Why did you do this?”


He tried to release the root to which he had held so happily before and found his fingers would no longer obey his command. If I can just get to it…if I can just get it out…God, Help me!


Something heavy was holding him prisoner, something heavier than an innocent tree root. He lifted his chin, blurred sight searching the night and found the cause of his difficulty. The new member of the guard – the Highlander, was it?—stood over him, inverted face smiling serenely down on his dying captain, broad leather boot firmly planted across his wrists.


“I’m sorry, James,” Carolyn whispered, “but it was time for you to go.”

Soccer Mom
10-05-2007, 07:00 AM
And there's more where that came from, folks! ;) I've already got my copy and it's smoking hot!

Someone offer $30! You know you want to!

Silver King
10-05-2007, 07:16 AM
Someone offer $30! You know you want to!
Dawno did. ;)

$30!

Dawno
10-05-2007, 07:20 AM
Yeah, blame Dawno...everyone does! ;)

CACTUSWENDY
10-05-2007, 07:32 AM
:)...and here I sit, hanky in hand, wiping the sweat from my ah.....brow.

You guys really read this stuff? My gosh. I would never get the book read, and this part of the book would sure have ragged corners. Sigh.

You do know that I am very much alone in my life right now....right?
:poke:

This sounds like a great book for alllllll the young married ones out there. Spice up their love life. Wow....just, wow. :roll:

brianm
10-05-2007, 08:22 AM
A PA published book by one of the sweetest ladies to ever grace this earth? How could I resis...

Oh, sorry... I misread the author name. My bad.

Isn't $59.95 the original retail price? :tongue

Well, I'll bid $35.00 anyway.




(Some friend, eh? Ya knows I loves ya... :Hug2:)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 03:20 PM
Folks, if you think that scene is good... you'll really like the bathtub scene Silver first requested, but it really wasn't suitable for this... um... public venue. Around these parts, it's refered to simply as 'Chapter Four'. Once you read it, you'll know why Ol' Boy smiles all the time.

And yes, my sweet brianm, PA did publish print a book by one of the sweetest ladies to ever grace this earth. If you get me her name, I'll see if I can get her to donate a book, too! :D

I've got $35... anyone generous enough to bid $40?

Inky
10-05-2007, 04:25 PM
50.00
Hey, if Silver can do it, so can I. Besides...read the blurb above my avatar...now ye' understand mi' infatuation....

Oh, OFG...new batch of books coming my way--then I'll be sending you a copy...

Anyone seen threedogpeople? Did she get her website up and running? She was going to be specializing in landscape photos.

WHEN THE BLOODY BLAZES DID WINTERMOON BECOME A MOD?


*sniff sniff* I STILL haven't been asked.

It's Haggis' fault. Cretin. He's a bad influence. None of it has been my doing.

*sniff sniff*

When I get upset, I shop.

Make that 55.00.

Soccer Mom
10-05-2007, 05:15 PM
You won't regret it, Inked. Chapter 4 is....... muy caliente!





Pssst.....who's gonna try and take it from Inked? $60 anyone?

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-05-2007, 05:31 PM
Soccer makes a good auctioneer! Who'll give AW $60 for a PA book? Make PA jealous that they can't sell 'em for that much! :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-06-2007, 03:30 PM
Soccer, things have slowed down in here... you better get back in here and help me stir things up! I'm still lookin' for $60...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-07-2007, 05:58 PM
About 11 hours left, ladies and gentlemen... Inked is gonna walk away with those 'smokin' hot', instructional love scenes if no one offers $60...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 01:55 AM
Three more hours... you know Inked doesn't need any instruction manuals! Someone take it away from her with a $60 bid!

wyntermoon
10-08-2007, 02:46 AM
50.00


WHEN THE BLOODY BLAZES DID WINTERMOON BECOME A MOD?


*sniff sniff* I STILL haven't been asked.

It's Haggis' fault. Cretin. He's a bad influence. None of it has been my doing.

*sniff sniff*

When I get upset, I shop.

Make that 55.00.

Hey! I made money for AW without even trying!

Inked, they snuck me in as a kidlit mod, something to do with the five babies running around my house, yadda yadda yadda. ;)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 03:04 AM
Well, help me make more, wynter! Chase some more folks in here.

Silver King
10-08-2007, 03:30 AM
Had I not read Jen's most excellent opus, I would at this very moment give Inked a run for her money. The novel is a mixture of intrigue and a historical retelling of the Tudor era, coupled with a story line that follows the heated love interests of several characters and a wonderful glimpse behind the scenes of the Royal Court. The book reads like a thriller with a smattering of some of the most intense and visceral love scenes I have ever had the pleasure of reading (over and over again).

I believe Jen may have written herself into the novel as one of the main characters, and that's why our friend, Ol' Boy, is such a lucky fellow who must be smiling all the time. ;)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 04:47 AM
I cannot tell a lie: Ol' Boy is one happy fellow. And I'm so lucky to have such a willing research assistant!

Twelve minutes, y'all! Bidder up!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 04:54 AM
Inked... you better get your check book, credit card, or PayPal account warmed up... Going...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 04:57 AM
Going...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 05:00 AM
Gone!

Our sweet, innocent Inked has won the auction!

Pay up and send me the receipt, you lucky dog, you!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-08-2007, 05:03 AM
Guys and gals... I want to thank each and every one of you for you participation in this auction. I know it was for the best of causes... but I never dreamed you'd bid my baby up like this. And for those of you who gave reviews... gosh. You made me blush!

Thank you.

Thank you SO much.

Inky
10-08-2007, 08:51 AM
...and tha' tha' tha', that's all folks!!!

I'll be sure to study the dirty parts verra carefully :e2brows:

Actually, I'm dying from curiosity to see your style of writing, OFG...and probably to beg favortism when next you need a beta reader :popcorn:

Bill me.
I'll have my people pay your people. :)

Soccer Mom
10-11-2007, 05:40 AM
You will be a happy woman, Inked. :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-11-2007, 03:24 PM
And Mr. Inked will be a happy(ier) man. ;)