Are there any circumstances where threatening a family member with physical violence is acceptable?
Is it ever OK to threaten a family member?
- Thread starter Carole
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I've done it, for my own protection. I told my mother if she hit me again, I'd wait 'til she was asleep and slit her throat with the scissors she tried to stab me with.
But hey, my life was in danger so I think I could be excused.
But hey, my life was in danger so I think I could be excused.
At least a thousand reasons, the same amount as threatening anyone else.
Now let's be more specific.
Now let's be more specific.
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threats to family members
the more the better. i do try to be a bit more patient with the pets--s6
the more the better. i do try to be a bit more patient with the pets--s6
You can beat the crap out of anybody but your kids. Best if you can just shove them down a flight of stairs and make like it was an accident.
ETA: shove the family, not the kids, down the stairs.
ETA: shove the family, not the kids, down the stairs.
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Pete's Theory On Children: By the time they're old enough where you can't beat them up any longer, they're old enough that you can throw them out of the house.
When you're lying there ready to croak, and that "just before you die" film of your life flashes by, you'll be astounded at the amount of times you've been screwed over by family members, and you'll vow to return to get back at them.
It happened to me, and I've been back three times (two near-drownings and an auto wreck).
It happened to me, and I've been back three times (two near-drownings and an auto wreck).
Not exactly where I was going, but ok.
One of my girlfriends called me a little while ago, completely unhinged. It seems that her husband threatened to "beat the ****" out her adult son. Thing is, her adult son is only a little older than my older son who is 20. This was a completely shocking thing and it seems that the step father really meant it.
Obviously I asked what happened because her husband is normally a pretty even-tempered guy. She said that it was over something he had asked her son to do a million times and that he always forgets. Something about leaving the garage door open. Apparently he did it again and the step dad's tools were in the garage. Nothing was stolen, but they were in there and the garage door was open all day when no one was home.
The step dad apparently had a "talk" with the boy and scared him to death. More than that, he broke his heart. From what I'm hearing, this kid is in tears not over the threat but over having someone he looked up to treat him this way. Sure, he did exactly what the step dad asked him a million times NOT to do, but...
I ask you - is this worthy of a threat of physical violence?
One of my girlfriends called me a little while ago, completely unhinged. It seems that her husband threatened to "beat the ****" out her adult son. Thing is, her adult son is only a little older than my older son who is 20. This was a completely shocking thing and it seems that the step father really meant it.
Obviously I asked what happened because her husband is normally a pretty even-tempered guy. She said that it was over something he had asked her son to do a million times and that he always forgets. Something about leaving the garage door open. Apparently he did it again and the step dad's tools were in the garage. Nothing was stolen, but they were in there and the garage door was open all day when no one was home.
The step dad apparently had a "talk" with the boy and scared him to death. More than that, he broke his heart. From what I'm hearing, this kid is in tears not over the threat but over having someone he looked up to treat him this way. Sure, he did exactly what the step dad asked him a million times NOT to do, but...
I ask you - is this worthy of a threat of physical violence?
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Nah.
When the son burns down the house...or sells it...or gives it away to a Rave thrown by his friends...or sets fire to the bed I sleep in....then maybe it's time to wail on him a bit. Otherwise, nah.
But if he doesn't do anything a million times, then it's time to say something nasty. Not necessarily violence (don't make a threat you can't back up, I always say) but there's loads of ways to drive the message home.
When the son burns down the house...or sells it...or gives it away to a Rave thrown by his friends...or sets fire to the bed I sleep in....then maybe it's time to wail on him a bit. Otherwise, nah.
But if he doesn't do anything a million times, then it's time to say something nasty. Not necessarily violence (don't make a threat you can't back up, I always say) but there's loads of ways to drive the message home.
Apparently that is what the big deal is all about. The step dad says that he absolutely meant it and will (insert graphic detail here) this kid if he does it again.
...I can't say I don't want to beat the ever-loving crap out of 90% of the teenagers I meet on a day to day basis...but I won't.
(for one thing, too many of them are larger than me).
But he didn't beat the (graphic detail) out of the kid, so there's not much what can be done about it, I don't think...
(I have no idea.)
(for one thing, too many of them are larger than me).
But he didn't beat the (graphic detail) out of the kid, so there's not much what can be done about it, I don't think...
(I have no idea.)
Does the son have a job? Does he routinely disrespect their home (as he was doing here)? Does he contribute to the household, or is he just mooching and not pulling his weight? I might come unglued and flip out and threaten to beat the shit out of an adult child who continually left my home completely vulnerable for anyone off the street to waltz in and help themselves to the things I busted my ass to obtain.
If the husband is normally even tempered, I'm guessing there's waaaay more to the story.
But that's just me.
If the husband is normally even tempered, I'm guessing there's waaaay more to the story.
But that's just me.
Yeah, I think I agree with Carrie on this one.
If he does just laze around the house, and he's an adult, it's time to drop-kick his ass outta there, says me, who knows nothin'.
Well, I'm sure that there is. All I know of this kid is that he's always really nice and well mannered, but that's around me. His mom tells me that he gets good grades in college and all that, BUT also that he is a major slacker around the house. I know that there are definite issues there.
OK. just talked with her again. She's telling me that she's mostly afraid that this has damaged her husband and son's relationship permanently. Also that she's now between them feeling like she has to either play both sides or take sides. THIS, I have NO clue about. I'm a big softie who wants the world to love one another and just get along. This is kinda out of my league.
I'll bet your friend's boy remembers to leave the garage door closed next time.
Maybe that's what it took, after "a million times" of asking, to get through to him. He'll get over it, and in the meantime, he won't leave the house vulnerable to theft and who knows what.
Maybe that's what it took, after "a million times" of asking, to get through to him. He'll get over it, and in the meantime, he won't leave the house vulnerable to theft and who knows what.
Do you really think so? I'd love to be able to tell her that and actually mean it.
I sometimes think mothers worry too much about this point. Honestly, he'll be fine. He'll sulk, which is what teenagers do. If it worked, it worked. Every dad on the planet, at some point, wants to beat the shit out of his son. It's as natural as mothers worrying about father-son relationships.
*shrug* He'll get over it or he won't. He an adult, not a child or even a teenager. Your friend isn't responsible for making everything okay. It's between her husband and her son and they'll have to work it out themselves. It sounds like the husband has been putting up with a lot and the son needs to learn some responsibility. And it's possible that it's time for him to find his own place?