check out my synopsis, please :)

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reenkam

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I don't know how many of you guys normally look in the SYW area, but if you could look at my synopsis I'd be eternally grateful. I'm terrible at writing them, and usually avoid it, but an agent requested one with a partial so I had to do it...

Here's the link: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=77596

I basically need all the help possible. Thanks!

:)
 

AmyC

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I tried to get into the link but a password is required. Do you want to just paste your synopsis here?

Amy
 

reenkam

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The password is vista. I forgot that the SYW forum needed that...

The only reason I didn't post here, too, is to keep revisions clear and everything.

But, yeah, if you type in vista it should come up. :)
 

AmyC

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Reenkam,

I read through your synopsis and put in some suggestions. I don't know if this sounds better to you - like I said, they're only suggestions.
By the way, your description was good enough to get me interested - your book sounds wonderful! And I guess that's the whole point of tearing out your hair to write the dreaded synopsis!

Amy

Despite being the younger sister of an international model, CONNIE Aldridge is just your average high school senior. ALEX Hernandez has never been kissed, but as far as the gay population of the high school knows, he’s a modern Casanova. And PETE Wright’s life has almost hit rock bottom with an indolent single mother, an unfaithful and absent father, and a useless crush on Connie. But BRITTANY Bennett, self-appointed leader of her group of friends, has a plan. She’s going to make all of them popular before the end of winter break. She’s going to tell everyone at the school who Connie’s sister is and sit back as the fame rolls in.
It’s not long before Connie is going out with the hottest boy at school and is also best friends with some of the coolest girls. Alex, too, is seeing a huge change in his life; he finds himself experiencing his first kiss and even starting a new, unexpected relationship. But Pete’s life stays hopelessly stagnant before finally falling apart. His home life has become unbearable. To escape his ungrateful mother, Alex moves out of their apartment and into his new residence – a (kind of car – like “a beat up Chevy” or “two-door twentieth century Ford” or something like that.)
Brit believes that her plan
for popularity is working, but soon finds out that Pete’s life hasn’t changed for the better. She is still trying to get her plan to work when she discovers that Pete has liked Connie for years. It is then that Brit realizes her ideas were wrong and she sets out to make things right. But Connie is too happy with how things have turned out and pushes Brit away, opting to drop her old friends for her new popular lifestyle.

It starts getting harder and harder for Brit to control what’s happening and soon Alex is out of his relationship, Connie is completely lost to her, and Pete is switching between depression and anger. On one particularly bad morning, Pete
finds out from Alex that Pete’s mother was the one cheating and she was the one who had made his father leave. Pete’s anger explodes and he takes it out on the one person he sees as a source: Chris. (You haven’t mentioned Chris in the synopsis – maybe you need a few words to say who he is) He enters a classroom and, in front of everyone, punches Chris in the face, knocking him unconscious.
After
learning his dad is living in New York, Pete runs away to find him. Brit quickly figures out what’s happened and knows that Pete has gone to find his father. She gathers Alex – who feels that it’s his fault Pete exploded – and Connie – who realizes how much she’s changed for the worse – and the friends head to New York, chasing after Pete before he can do something he’ll regret.
While the two groups
(two groups? I know Pete’s going and his friends too, but would you call Pete a “group”? Maybe just “As they head to New York . . .” head to New York, they receive a flood of information from a number of sources. From radio reports Pete and the others learn of an armed bank robbery in progress. Pete decides to check it out after deciding that he’ll never be able to find his dad. The others, after finding out that Pete’s dad works at the bank, believe that Pete is holding the bank up in some kind of last cry for help. They also incorrectly believe that Chris has died from Pete’s punch and think that their friend is going to be arrested for murder.
Pete and the others reunite close to the bank scene and they tell Pete
about his father working at the bank, and also the false news about Chris Pete knows he will be arrested for Chris’s murder and decides to do something useful before being the police find him. Pete is going to stop the robbery. Alex and Connie watch on as Pete approaches the caution tape. At the same time, Brit takes advantage of a sick reporter’s inability to report the news live by doing the reporting herself!
When Pete runs into the bank to stop the burglar, Brit follows with the cameraman close behind her. Pete gets shot in the arm once, but
is still able to stop the robbery by using the same punch that he used on Chris. The whole event is caught live with Brit reporting.
Pete
knows the truth about his father and they are finally able to talk openly. His father moves back to town and Pete moves in with him. Alex continues his relationship, happy that he no longer needs to hide who he is. Connie feels a little separated from her friends because of how she had deserted them, but she hopes that they will forgive her with time. And Brit’s new television fame gets her mind going again; a new plan is forming, and this time, it will be bigger and better than before. __________________
 

reenkam

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Thanks for the comments and suggestions Amy! They are all definitely helpful for my revisions.

Thanks!! :)
 

AmyC

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You're welcome. Good luck with the agent!

Amy
 
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