What is it with the 4am wake-up calls? - Yes, it's a rant.

It's a rare thing indeed for me to be asleep by 4am but last night (technically morning) I was up 'til maybe 2am chatting to a friend on google and I started to feel tired (yay!) so regretfully took my leave. I read a few pages of a book, then lights out. Still took me an hour or so to drop off.

Then just after 4am my intercom went. I checked my phone for the time and in my half-asleep state of thinking, "What's that noise?" I thought perhaps someone was calling me. Then a few seconds later the intercom went again and I realised what it was.

So I hopped - well, limped - out of bed, proper annoyed that I'd managed to get some sleep before it started to get light again and someone had woken me up - and headed to the spare room so I could peep out of the curtains at the front of the house to see who it was.

I got a glimpse of a tall man, dark hair, slender, clean-shaven, before he looked up at the window and I jumped back. It took me a moment to realise, "Hang on, why the heck am I acting secretively? It's not him who should be annoyed!" So I checked again but whoever it was was gone.

I have a fair idea who it was from the brief sighting I got, and just in case anyone thinks I give the impression it's okay for guys to call me or buzz my intercom at that time of the morning, I've been single for over three years and definitely do not give people the okay to contact me round the clock. In fact last time this happened I got a mutual friend to tell the person concerned, "Nichola does not appreciate being woken at that time so if it happens again, you might find yourself sans kneecaps."

I mean, it's a bloody cheek for two reasons. One, whoever it was assumed I'd be awake. Two, they assumed I'd be alone. (I was, but that's besides the point).

What the hell is it with my ex-boyfriends? Why do they finish with me and then think they can drop by whenever they like because hey, Nichola won't have anything (or anyone) better to do? Do they think they're so irresistible that I'll think it's an honour to be woken at 4am just because they decide after a night on the bevvy they want to see me?

One guy even tried that on the way back from his gf's house after she'd dumped him so okay, I'll try Nichola's house; she can console me. And another ex knocked on my door late one night because he'd had a fight with his wife FFS! (I hasten to add he married her after we went out and subsequently split). I shouted through the door that if he didn't f*** off I'd call her and tell her where to find him. Thank goodness the council have since fitted the intercom so people don't even get to my front door unless I let them into my tenement block!

I can honestly say that I don't give these guys the impression their continued attentions would be welcome. Anything but. What part of, "No, I don't want to be your friend. I want you to leave me alone so I can get on with my life," don't they understand? Do they think I'd be flattered?

Well. They obviously don't know me at all.

Anyway. Thanks for listening. I know not all men are like this - disrespectful and downright rude - probably just Dundee guys. I guess it says more about the men I used to date than anything else. Now you know why I've been single for so long.

It's a very good idea.

I keep forgetting to disable the intercom at night, Chumplet - the setting lasts six hours which would cover the amount of sleep I get in one go anyway. But it's a bit like the reason I don't switch my phone off - just in case something important happens and someone genuinely needs to get in touch with me.

I like the notice to ex-boyfriends.

Trouble is there are five other homes in my block, so I bet that would cause a few sniggers whenever I passed another resident on the stairs...

seun said:

What a wanker. The proper thing to do is hang around outside your flat and then steal your underwear when you go out.

Some people have no idea how this sort of thing is done.

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I utterly adore you. Here, have my address.

robeiae said:

Maybe he had the wrong flat?

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It's happened too many times for it to be a coincidence and before the intercom system was fitted, one ex in particular had a habit of shouting through the letterbox on a Saturday night whenever he was drunk and lonely. So it was probably him. (I never answered the door by the way).

When the person from last weekend left the tenement doorstep he looked back up, straight to the window I was standing at, so he was obviously looking at me. Now I wish I'd had the guts to open the window and tell him what I thought of his waking me up - instead, I acted like I was the one who should be embarrassed and jumped back behind the curtain!

It suits you better than me anyway.

How much alcohol he's drunk that night, divided by how far it is to walk back to his own house.