'people are smart....' the opening line from a ditech commercial. yep, and they prove how smart they are every election.
'starring tara reid.' oh, man, if there was ever a definition of 'red flag'....
'oops, she did it again.' nice hair extentions Brillo, er, Britney. say, where'd you learn those VMA moves at, watching kids' tv programming? difference is those kids, who, judging by their uncoordinated flailings, should really be on some kind of medication, show signs of life.
'yours free with purchase of $500 or more.' free? really? wow! i think i'll start shopping at wal*mart, too, because, you know, i don't know how to clip a coupon. and you're saying all i have to do is spend a ton of money to get something free whose price you've worked into the overall price?
'instructions included.' nah, don't need 'em, thanks anyway. i routinely assemble gas grills and popcorn machines.
'void in south carolina.' yeah, i can see that. makes sense. damn south carolinianers, who do they think they are, expecting the same deal *i'm* getting in ohio?
'call within the next fifteen minutes to receive....' whew, i'm glad to see that operators are standing by with commecials schedules and stopwatches. i *totally* believe this happens.
'cheese-flavored.' thank gawd it's not real cheese, but some chemical concoction the army germ warfare division stumbled on. at least lactose intolerant folk can taste cheese, even if it's not real.
'pregnant or lactating women should consult a doctor before using any product.' any product? really? so, these dietary supplements could kill?
'results may vary.' thank gawd Captain Obvious is on patrol today.
'restrictions apply.' mind telling me more about these restrictions in something other than microscopic print?
'for external use only.' damnit, then why do you make windex taste so good?
'news you can use.' yes, i need to know what the dew point is so i can apply that to my knowledge of the accident on the highway today. there's *got* to be a connection!
'side effects include blah blah blah, but most cases are generally mild.' the hemmorhoid (sp) medication i took cased me to squirt blood from my eyes, but it was just a mild expulsion, so i'm good. i tried that stuff that's supposed to cure stigmata, but now i hear voices, but that's okay because they sing songs i like.
'does not prevent the spread of venereal disease.' this is why i always buy crunchy instead of smooth.
'starring tara reid.' oh, man, if there was ever a definition of 'red flag'....
'oops, she did it again.' nice hair extentions Brillo, er, Britney. say, where'd you learn those VMA moves at, watching kids' tv programming? difference is those kids, who, judging by their uncoordinated flailings, should really be on some kind of medication, show signs of life.
'yours free with purchase of $500 or more.' free? really? wow! i think i'll start shopping at wal*mart, too, because, you know, i don't know how to clip a coupon. and you're saying all i have to do is spend a ton of money to get something free whose price you've worked into the overall price?
'instructions included.' nah, don't need 'em, thanks anyway. i routinely assemble gas grills and popcorn machines.
'void in south carolina.' yeah, i can see that. makes sense. damn south carolinianers, who do they think they are, expecting the same deal *i'm* getting in ohio?
'call within the next fifteen minutes to receive....' whew, i'm glad to see that operators are standing by with commecials schedules and stopwatches. i *totally* believe this happens.
'cheese-flavored.' thank gawd it's not real cheese, but some chemical concoction the army germ warfare division stumbled on. at least lactose intolerant folk can taste cheese, even if it's not real.
'pregnant or lactating women should consult a doctor before using any product.' any product? really? so, these dietary supplements could kill?
'results may vary.' thank gawd Captain Obvious is on patrol today.
'restrictions apply.' mind telling me more about these restrictions in something other than microscopic print?
'for external use only.' damnit, then why do you make windex taste so good?
'news you can use.' yes, i need to know what the dew point is so i can apply that to my knowledge of the accident on the highway today. there's *got* to be a connection!
'side effects include blah blah blah, but most cases are generally mild.' the hemmorhoid (sp) medication i took cased me to squirt blood from my eyes, but it was just a mild expulsion, so i'm good. i tried that stuff that's supposed to cure stigmata, but now i hear voices, but that's okay because they sing songs i like.
'does not prevent the spread of venereal disease.' this is why i always buy crunchy instead of smooth.