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SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 04:49 AM
Darn gun wasn't supposed to be loaded.

poetinahat
09-14-2007, 04:51 AM
"Hey, Spooky, whatcha drinkin' -- can I have a taste?"

RumpleTumbler
09-14-2007, 04:55 AM
Famous Last Words (http://www.deardeath.com/famous_last_words.htm)

Azraelsbane
09-14-2007, 04:56 AM
"A little to the left."

"Watch this."

"Geronimo."

"Frickin' Sweet."

"Of course I'm sure."

dclary
09-14-2007, 05:16 AM
Crikey! Sting rays sting?

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 05:20 AM
Crikey! Sting rays sting?You forgot the gurgles.

akiwiguy
09-14-2007, 05:27 AM
"Arrrggghhh! The safe word is, ummmm, Peaches.... arrrrggghhh, no that's not right, ummm...."

Joe270
09-14-2007, 05:35 AM
Often spoken by a guy sporting a mullet hairstyle:

Hey, dude, watch this. . .

Hillary
09-14-2007, 05:37 AM
"Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

dclary
09-14-2007, 05:39 AM
"What could possibly go wrong?"

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 05:44 AM
Did you remember to turn off the coffee before we left the house?

http://paultan.org/wp-content/truck_vs_car_crash.jpg

Like it fucking matters now?

Jersey Chick
09-14-2007, 05:46 AM
Ah, how bad could it be?

larocca
09-14-2007, 05:48 AM
Nah, it ain't plugged in.

Cut the red wire.
No, cut the blue wire.
No, cut the red wire.

Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

III
09-14-2007, 05:50 AM
"I was gonna use protection, but then I thought 'When's the next time I'm gonna be in Haiti?'"

(stolen from the Bad Idea Jeans commercial on SNL)

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 05:53 AM
Shouldn't I have checked my chute?













* splat *

Jersey Chick
09-14-2007, 05:55 AM
What happens if I do this?

David McAfee
09-14-2007, 06:03 AM
What's the worst thing that could happen?

Devil Ledbetter
09-14-2007, 06:06 AM
Of course I'll re-enlist.

MidnightMuse
09-14-2007, 06:06 AM
"Dude, this is gonna be so cool!"

akiwiguy
09-14-2007, 06:07 AM
Stand back.. let me show you how a real man does it!

EriRae
09-14-2007, 06:11 AM
Fire extinguisher? We don't need a fire extinguisher.

You're doing it wrong.

Yes, I can drive home. It's only a couple of blocks.

Seatbelts are dangerous. You might get bruises and burns and stuff.

maestrowork
09-14-2007, 06:18 AM
You had me at hello.

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 06:20 AM
Have you seen "Looking for Mr. Goodbar?"

maestrowork
09-14-2007, 06:21 AM
May I push the stool in for you?

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 06:25 AM
"Hey man, cops don't shoot real bullets. They're like plastic or stuff."

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 06:31 AM
Colorblind terrorist building bomb.

"So which one is red?"

dclary
09-14-2007, 07:54 AM
Suicide Bomber Class Instructor:

"Now, I'm only going to show you this once, so pay attention."

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 07:56 AM
Suicide Bomber Class Instructor:

"Now, I'm only going to show you this once, so pay attention."

Bin laden to courier: "Don't forget to give the guard a donut."

Oh, well it does work funny in Islambad.

Histry Nerd
09-14-2007, 08:12 AM
Often spoken by a guy sporting a mullet hairstyle:

Hey, dude, watch this. . .

That's a running joke 'round here. Redneck's last words:

"Hey, y'all, watch this!"

His brother's last words:

"Hell, I can do that."

HN

SpookyWriter
09-14-2007, 08:16 AM
That's a running joke 'round here. Redneck's last words:

"Hey, y'all, watch this!"

His brother's last words:

"Hell, I can do that."

HN:roll:

Lady Esther
09-14-2007, 06:45 PM
"I always hated you."


"I'm not your real father."


"I'm sorry about the herpes."

Jaycinth
09-14-2007, 06:53 PM
'Spookey Did It'

aadams73
09-14-2007, 08:18 PM
"Your sister was better."

Mr. Fix
09-14-2007, 08:40 PM
"You're right, that does look easy..."

"No, wait! It was just a joke!"

RumpleTumbler
09-14-2007, 08:49 PM
About 28 years ago I was in a car with a couple of guys and about 10 seconds before we left the road (going over 140 mph....speedometer was buried) the driver said "watch this driving."

dclary
09-14-2007, 08:53 PM
Overheard in Rumple's car:

"Doesn't this speed make you feel glad to be alive??"
"Glad? I'm amazed!"

RumpleTumbler
09-14-2007, 08:58 PM
Overheard in Rumple's car:

"Doesn't this speed make you feel glad to be alive??"
"Glad? I'm amazed!"

:)

Just to clarify.....it wasn't my car and I wasn't driving.

Both of us pax knew we wouldn't make the turn. I didn't look up until he said watch this driving though and by then it was waaaay too late.

Siddow
09-14-2007, 09:05 PM
I know the guy who said this:

"What in the hell do you think you're gonna do with that gun?"

And I know he said this, because I know the guy who shot him.

airforceauthor
09-14-2007, 09:20 PM
This'll just take a second.

I've done it a million times, nothing's happened.

What's that ticking sound?

Hey, dont point that -

If Steve Irwin can do it, why cant I?

thethinker42
09-14-2007, 09:28 PM
Rosebud.

maestrowork
09-14-2007, 09:32 PM
"Scarlet, you look fat."

Meerkat
09-14-2007, 09:53 PM
"Boy-howdy, driving in England sure is confus--"

Meerkat
09-14-2007, 09:54 PM
"Anyone mind if I turn the coffeemaker off?"

larocca
09-15-2007, 07:04 PM
Nah, Belichick isn't taping this.

Backward Masking
09-15-2007, 10:05 PM
"I pretty sure those are just dolphins and it's just a small cut."

larocca
09-22-2007, 01:25 PM
Crikey! That's a whopper!

lostintheweb
09-22-2007, 02:06 PM
What do you mean? We're not lost!

Vincent
09-22-2007, 03:40 PM
How about a real one?

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." - General John Sedgwick of the Union Army, while scaning the Confederate line at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.

JJ Cooper
09-22-2007, 03:53 PM
It's only lightning - we'll make it to the 18th hole.

JJ

Chumplet
09-22-2007, 06:02 PM
"Message for you, Sir." Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

My-Immortal
09-22-2007, 06:07 PM
Oh look! The alien wants to be friends....

Don't worry honey, I've seen lion tamers do this before...

I wonder what this sticky stuff on the end of this spike is....hmmm...tastes a little bitter....and kinda like almonds...

Grandma, what big teeth you have...

Yippee-kai-yae-mother-f...

I just thought you'd like to know, Mr. Bankrobber, there's a bit of dust collecting on the inside of your gun barrel. I don't think you've ever fired your gun, have you? Have you? You probably have problems further south too, don'tcha...

You got a purty mouth...

Yes, those jeans DO make your butt look fat...

Take the damn picture already. I spent fourteen hours in that car hauling your butt all the way down here so you could see the Grand Canyon, now take the picture already! I am smiling. I am! Geez! Take the fricking picture already! No, you take a step back...no you...fine...

Jacob
09-22-2007, 07:58 PM
Famous Last Words (http://www.deardeath.com/famous_last_words.htm)
I think these are my favorite from this list.
1.
Socrates, Greek philosopher, executed:
"Crito, I owe a rooster to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt?"

2.
Vespasian:
"Woe is me, I think I am becoming a god."

3.
Peter Abelard, Twelfth Century Philosopher:
"I don't know"

lostintheweb
09-22-2007, 09:29 PM
How about a real one?

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." - General John Sedgwick of the Union Army, while scaning the Confederate line at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.

Actually, the quote is: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" He never finished the statement.

girlyswot
09-22-2007, 09:40 PM
Where's the thread for stupid things people say after they die? Or is this really just 'stupid things people say'?

SpookyWriter
09-22-2007, 09:43 PM
Where's the thread for stupid things people say after they die? Or is this really just 'stupid things people say'?
You'll have to wait for me to dig up some dead folks and ask their opinions. I'll get back with you tomorrow night.

triceretops
09-23-2007, 03:45 AM
Read Fox--"You gotta be kiddin' me."

Max Baer--"Oh, God here I go!"

Tri

Deirdre
09-23-2007, 04:22 AM
"This is not good" -- my late husband after he had a stroke, but before he developed aphasia.

Unfortunately, since he'd say this when something really minor was wrong, I didn't know something was actually wrong.

Sunkissed27f
09-26-2007, 11:49 PM
"Honey, no you don't have to turn off the breaker before you take out the broken light bulb."

Well, near death experience anyway. *grins*

SpookyWriter
09-27-2007, 12:29 AM
Do bears eat people?

Sassee
09-27-2007, 12:40 AM
"Oh hey, what's this?"

notpc
09-27-2007, 12:43 AM
Oh crap, this is gona hurt.

notpc
09-27-2007, 12:55 AM
Hey, watch me light this firecracker I just made.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Humphrey Bogart

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian