Avoiding -ing

Normally, when I find -ing words starting sentences I can change them around. It just sounds better not to use to many of them. But, the short assignment (for a writing class) I'm working on now is full of them. Can you give me some ways to re-word them? Here's an example:

Spreading two fences apart, I barely fit through the narrow opening between the sharp teeth of the barbed wire.

Btw, I thought they were gerunds, but is that the correct terminology for these -ing words?

And - I've read that a person's writing is usually better if they get rid of all -ing words used in this manner. Do you agree?

Stephenie

How about "After I spread the two fences apart...." ? I wouldn't worry about getting rid of all -ing words. Sometimes you have to use one or two or three.

Btw, I thought they were gerunds, but is that the correct terminology for these -ing words?

They're called participles when they're used as in your "spreading" example. They're called gerunds when they're used as nouns: "Spreading the two fences apart was difficult."


Variations:

I spread the two fences apart. I barely fit through the gap...

With the two fences spread apart as far as they'd go, I squeezed through the...

The two fences would barely spread apart. I...

Participles

Spreading two fences apart, I barely fit through the narrow opening between the sharp teeth of the barbed wire.

I know what the problem is here. The thing is, if you describe these actions the above way, it sounds as if they're simultaneous. But they can't be -- you need to spread the fences apart first in order to get through. Confusing the sequence of actions with the "help" of participles is a very common mistake even established writers make -- at least I, too, tend to believe it's a mistake.

You can use participles, of course, but only if they describe really simultaneous actions (those that take place at the same time). Compare with the following -- here, the participle in the second sentence is used to discribe a simultaneous action:

I spread two fences apart. Tearing my clothes, I forced my way through the narrow opening...

See the difference? You tear your clothes at the same time as you force your way through. But you need to spread the fences apart first in order to get through.

Re: Participles

The timing is a bit of a problem. The fence gets spread apart first and then continues to be pulled taut while slipping between the two wires. But, you're right, you have to spread them apart and then go through.

Those are the kinds of suggestions I was hoping to get. Thank you for reminding me of participles, too. I didn't think they fit in the gerund category, but couldn't remember what they were!

Spreading two fences apart, I barely fit through the narrow opening between the sharp teeth of the barbed wire.

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First, I'd be more careful about the wording. There's usually only one fence, so you can't spread two fences apart. Even ten strands of barbed wire is only one fence.

Second, if an ing word is the best choice, use it. The best word is the one to use, whether it ends in ing or ly or whatever.

First, I'd be more careful about the wording. There's usually only one fence, so you can't spread two fences apart. Even ten strands of barbed wire is only one fence.

Agreed. This is a fence with three horizontal rows of barbed wire. In first draft, I had something to the effect of "Spreading apart the two horizontal wires" but that sounded really wordy for a kids' short story.

I still have a few drafts to complete, so I'll work on that idea.

Oh, they were strands of wire all along. I wondered why two fences were so close together.

Besides the unwanted implication of simultaneity of actions, an -ing construction like "Tearing my clothes..." isn't the way people often talk unless they're trying for irony or a literary feel. It sounds unnatural.

If you did use "Tearing...," you'd put it at the end of the sentence, after the trip through the fence. One starts to go between the wires and then hears a ripping sound and feels stuck.

An agent once told me "you should NEVER begin a sentence with -ing words or 'As'." I called her bluff.

However, that said, I think participles do imply simultaneous action: Crashing through the mall entrance, the car broke multiple panes of glass.

In the case of this example, you do need to spread the fence(s) first before you can try to fit through. Reph and others have given you some ideas on how to rewrite that sentence.

As for the last "Tearing..." it's actually wrong. It implies that you are the one who is tearing your clothes. Instead, you should write it like this: "The barbed wires tearing my clothes, I fit myself through the narrow opening" or "I fit through the narrow opening as the barbed wires tore my clothes."

Maestro, I don't agree that "Tearing..." is wrong. You might say "I tore my jeans trying to go through a barbed-wire fence into Mr. MacGregor's garden."

Hippity-hop!

I don't know, Reph. I got the impression that the barbed wires tore his clothes, so that sentence didn't quite work for me. Technically speaking, it's probably correct.

You can say the wire tore your clothes, or you can say you tore your clothes going through the fence, either one. Your activity was the cause of the damage; you moved against the pointy wire. Same as "I burned my finger ironing a shirt."

We don't have a problem saying "I sliced the bread" even though we can also say "The knife sliced the bread."

"tearing"

Hey people, don't forget "tearing"'s got nothing to do with Stephenie's question! I was the one who used it, and simply as an example of simultaneous actions. I normally avoid using participle clauses myself, but, IMHO, whether to open sentences with them or not would mainly depend on the author's choice of narrative voice.

And yes, I've got a linguist friend here with me who says you can only say "I tore my clothes" if you do it "willingly by your own hand" (she says) -- so oops, sorry, my bad!

(Although I have to agree with reph, phrases like "I tore my clothes/jeans/jacket, etc, etc" are very common in colloquial speech.)

Re: "tearing"

I agree with Reph that you can say "I tore my clothes" but in this context it's confusing because it sounds like the person tore his clothes with his hands, while going through the opening. I know I'm splitting hair here. It works perfectly if you write "I tore my clothes while going through the opening" (although it's still better to say "the barbed wire tore my clothes" because that's more descriptive of the actual action) but by using the participle, the meaning becomes murky.

"I sliced the bread": I am actually doing the slicing, even though I use a tool.

"I tore my clothes": Well, to me, it just sounds like you are doing the tearing. Now if you say, "I tore my clothes on the barbed wire" then it would make more sense.

Participle clauses

Yes, thanks, maestro, now I can see where the mistake was. I understand it much better now. Thanks for the master class (maestro class?)!

Re: Participle clauses

Fresie, sorry for being a pain in the arse.

On the contrary. I love nitpicking. Grammar is my drug of choice.

Re:

I don't mind either. How else do I get better? Write more and get nit-picked!

An agent once told me "you should NEVER begin a sentence with -ing words or 'As'." I called her bluff.

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It amazes me how often agents advise writers not to do things that best-selling writers do all the time.

LOL, James. I wish I had taken an excerpt of, say, John Grisham's or Michael Chabon's book and sent it back at her, circling all the sentences that begin with -ing or "as." But nah, I didn't want to burn any bridges...