Things not to say in your cover letter

lol...

You mean threats aren't a good way to get published? :b

Well, there goes another idea.

Funny...but creepy too.

I would call it simply creepy.

I once read about a man who was editing an anthology and had one story that needed a couple small changes at deadline. He asked the story's author if he could make the changes himself (the editor is an award-winning writer himself, and the changes were very minor).

The writer who'd submitted the story said that would be fine, but if he didn't like the changes, he was going to kill the editor's kids.

Here's a tip for everyone: Don't be a freaking lunatic.

i planned on including cryptic anagrams and images from cult sacrifices in my next cover letter.

You know, you can actually buy paper with subliminal messeges written on it that say things like "This is wonderful. Buy it now!"

Sound slike a better bet than death threats.

the "sme thig could happen to you bit" sounds to me as nothing but akward writing for "not far fetched as you may think"

The writer who'd submitted the story said that would be fine, but if he didn't like the changes, he was going to kill the editor's kids.

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That on the other hand would scare the hell outta me. I don't know what I'd do because I wouldn't want to hhave contact with them ever again and here I am with an accepted work of theirs. I'd call the cops.

I'm always professional in my cover letter, I wait till they accept it and then the worst I ever do after that is hit on the editor. Esp if they're men, that humors me for some reason (I'm a guy)...

i planned on including cryptic anagrams and images from cult sacrifices in my next cover letter

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:lol :rollin

Should I mention in my cover letter (in the credential part) that I know voodoo?

lol....
Yeah, that's kinda scary about killing the editor's kids part.... O____O
Not the best tactic... or joke.... or whatever... >.>