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scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 12:49 AM
This evening I bought a few things for the house. Bedlinen, other things. I also treated myself to a pillar candle and a candle plate.

The label said Warning: product will become hot.

Well fuck me. You set the thing on fire and it becomes hot! Whatever next?

III
09-11-2007, 12:52 AM
I thought it was the bed linen label that said it would become hot. I was thinking "how did they know Nichola would be the one buying it?"

dclary
09-11-2007, 12:55 AM
BTW: on our wedding night, lclary and I took several lead crystal candleholder-thingies that we'd been given by the various gift-givers who'd just rushed out to Mikasa for a last minute "oh crap we need a wedding gift" wedding gift to our honeymoon.

I'm glad your candle had that warning, SP. No one warned us that if you let a candle burn to the bottom of a lead crystal candleholder-thingy...

IT FREAKIN' EXPLODES.

KTC
09-11-2007, 12:56 AM
those labels that say you will be prosecuted if you remove them. I always look around before I tear them off my pillows, just to make sure Big Brother isn't watching!

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 12:56 AM
You must have been distracted doing other things, Deek.

And III: You frickin' pervert! :ROFL:

III
09-11-2007, 12:58 AM
those labels that say you will be prosecuted if you remove them. I always look around before I tear them off my pillows, just to make sure Big Brother isn't watching!

I know you do. It's the most erotic part of the www.kevinsbedroomtags.com (http://www.kevinsbedroomtags.com) spy-cam podcast.

KTC
09-11-2007, 12:59 AM
I know you do. It's the most erotic part of the www.kevinsbedroomtags.com (http://www.kevinsbedroomtags.com) spy-cam podcast.

WOULD you stop feeding the delusions of the paranoid psycho! MAN>...now I will have to check that link every ten seconds to make sure it doesn't one day become a real live link. Or maybe you're putting it up and taking it down while I'm clicking. You're a bad bad boy!

Azraelsbane
09-11-2007, 01:02 AM
The government wanted to put a tat on my forehead that said "Warning: Gimp." I would have none of it. We're in deliberations right now. I insist on "Vertically challenged"

BenPanced
09-11-2007, 01:04 AM
No, those labels say it's illegal for the retailer to remove them. They're there (their? thar!) for the consumers' information, and it's perfectly legal for you to remove them once you've bought the mattress/pillow/whatevs.

And the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln!

clockwork
09-11-2007, 01:04 AM
This evening I bought a few things for the house. Bedlinen, other things. I also treated myself to a pillar candle and a candle plate.

The label said Warning: product will become hot.

Well fuck me. You set the thing on fire and it becomes hot! Whatever next?

I fear this is an inevitable precursor to the "Ow! I just burned my hand on a candle!" thread.

nancy sv
09-11-2007, 01:06 AM
I like the one on the baby stroller that says: WARNING: Remove child before collapsing stroller.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:12 AM
I fear this is an inevitable precursor to the "Ow! I just burned my hand on a candle!" thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the 'Chris finds a new way to conceal a pillar candle about his person' thread. :rant:

III
09-11-2007, 01:13 AM
Hey Chris, when are we gonna get a new picture in the AW Caption Thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53704&page=44)?

clockwork
09-11-2007, 01:15 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the 'Chris finds a new way to conceal a pillar candle about his person' thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the "Scarletpeaches arrested for bedroom accessory regicide," thread.

Jersey Chick
09-11-2007, 01:16 AM
I bought an umbrella-type stroller for my son - it's got the Jeep logo on it and it off roads really well so we use it all the time. I was folding it up the other day when I saw the warning label:

"Wipe with damp cloth to clean. Do not iron."

Who the %@!^ irons an effin' stroller???? I mean, really. I'd like to meet this person.


so i can slap him/her!

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:20 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the "Scarletpeaches arrested for bedroom accessory regicide," thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris discovers to his cost that Nichola does not limit her homicidal mania to the bedroom" thread.

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 01:23 AM
This evening I bought a few things for the house. Bedlinen, other things. I also treated myself to a pillar candle and a candle plate.

The label said Warning: product will become hot.

Well fuck me. You set the thing on fire and it becomes hot! Whatever next?

That's because of stupid Americans who sue for every little thing. Knives...sharp? Flames...hot? Rat poison...poisonous? We're stupid AND sue-happy.

So...um...be careful with that thing. Might get hot.

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 01:24 AM
BTW: on our wedding night, lclary and I took several lead crystal candleholder-thingies that we'd been given by the various gift-givers who'd just rushed out to Mikasa for a last minute "oh crap we need a wedding gift" wedding gift to our honeymoon.

I'm glad your candle had that warning, SP. No one warned us that if you let a candle burn to the bottom of a lead crystal candleholder-thingy...

IT FREAKIN' EXPLODES.

REALLY????? *runs out to Mikasa*

Carole
09-11-2007, 01:26 AM
There are some really ridiculous labels out there, for sure.

Things I've learned:

Fresh coffee is hot
Babies will drown if they fall into a bucket of paint
Paint thinner is poisonous
Babies can suffocate if you allow them to play with plastic grocery bags (ruined the whole "plastic grocery bag toy" idea I had)
Lighter fluid is FLAMMABLE (no way)
Band saws can cut off your fingers
Needles are sharp
Spraying carburetor cleaner into your eyes can cause blindness
Children should not play in trash dumpsters
CAUTION: Flame may be hot! (Actually on a candle)
Getting shampoo into your eyes can cause eye irritation
Soap should not be eaten
Razors are sharp
If you plug in a hair dryer, turn it on and drop it into your bathtub - WHILE you are in the tub - you could sustain serious injuries or you could even DIE!




And now you are informed.

You're welcome. :D

clockwork
09-11-2007, 01:28 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris discovers to his cost that Nichola does not limit her homicidal mania to the bedroom" thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris Is Mildly Amused By The Slight Tickly Feel of Nichola's Homicidal Mania," thread.

Perks
09-11-2007, 01:32 AM
I'm lost already. But I think Nichola's gonna kill somebody.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:35 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris Is Mildly Amused By The Slight Tickly Feel of Nichola's Homicidal Mania," thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris gets the shock of his life when Nichola brings out the chainsaw, parakeets and banana-flavour Angel Delight" thread.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:36 AM
I'm lost already. But I think Nichola's gonna kill somebody.

Not you. Anyone who watches Top Gear, worships the Clarkson and wants to play Hide the Sausage with The Hamster gets a free pass for having delightful taste.

clockwork
09-11-2007, 01:38 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the "Chris gets the shock of his life when Nichola brings out the chainsaw, parakeets and banana-flavour Angel Delight" thread.

I fear your post is a precursor to the inevitable, "Entire Universe Implodes At The Whim Of His Excellency Chris, Lord Of All, Because Of One Pushy Dundonian," thread.

Ahem.

And this is my favourite dumb sign:

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h134/clockwork9/52805877_7462c56d05.jpg

Esopha
09-11-2007, 01:38 AM
CAUTION: Flame may be hot! (Actually on a candle)

...

I thought heat was mandatory for fires.

Are there are cold flames now? Like explosive liquid nitrogen?

Perks
09-11-2007, 01:38 AM
and wants to play Hide the Sausage with The Hamster
Did I ever say that? I'm thinking that was you.

My disloyalties run elsewise.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:45 AM
I fear your post is a precursor to the inevitable, "Entire Universe Implodes At The Whim Of His Excellency Chris, Lord Of All, Because Of One Pushy Dundonian," thread.

Ahem.

And this is my favourite dumb sign:

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h134/clockwork9/52805877_7462c56d05.jpg

I fear your post is a precursor to the "Nichola laughs as she wonders if Chris realises the end of the universe will also mean the end of AW as we know it so he won't be able to post any more threads," thread.

And my sign's better than your sign.
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s217/doriangrayspictures/Sharpedges.jpg

clockwork
09-11-2007, 01:47 AM
Except my sign is real and yours isn't. :tongue

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:50 AM
Except my sign is real and yours isn't. :tongue

:cry:

It's real in my universe.

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 01:52 AM
:cry:

It's real in my universe.

So are a LOT of things, so that doesn't mean much.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:53 AM
Oh great, you wait 'til someone else is picking on me then join in.

Beatch.

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 01:54 AM
Oh great, you wait 'til someone else is picking on me then join in.

Beatch.

Well, yeah. I've been warned by the mods several times to give the other kids a chance to pick on you. So...I hang back until they've been given an ample chance, then jump in and kick you while you're down.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 01:59 AM
Right. So Chris was the warm-up act and you're the main Nichola-get-her-arse-kicked show?!

clockwork
09-11-2007, 02:00 AM
I testify that I have never spoken to Lori - duh, I mean "thethinker42" before in my life. Ever. And that's the tooth.

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 02:01 AM
Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it infamy!

clockwork
09-11-2007, 02:12 AM
I found a better sign--

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h134/clockwork9/spsign.jpg

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 02:13 AM
For feck's sake, why did you have to go and spoil it by using a non-word like 'normalcy'?

clockwork
09-11-2007, 02:14 AM
Uh... certainly not to piss you off anyway. :)

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 03:04 AM
Right. So Chris was the warm-up act and you're the main Nichola-get-her-arse-kicked show?!

Basically. I hope Chris doesn't mind that I used him. As a warm-up act, you pervs! Oh crap, that didn't sound any better...damnation...

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 03:05 AM
I don't think Chris will argue with you. I don't think he (or anyone else) would dare.

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 03:05 AM
I testify that I have never spoken to Lori - duh, I mean "thethinker42" before in my life. Ever. And that's the tooth.

Shall I post the e-mails as evidence that the above testimony is a load of horseshit? :D

clockwork
09-11-2007, 03:12 AM
Shall I post the e-mails as evidence that the above testimony is a load of horseshit? :D

If you wish to be separated from the fabric of the universe by my own hand then yes, please post the emails. :Sun:

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 03:19 AM
If you wish to be separated from the fabric of the universe by my own hand then yes, please post the emails. :Sun:

Oooo, I love it when you make idle threats...

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
09-11-2007, 03:30 AM
I once saw this in a factory:

"If the person who took the steps from the office yesterday does not return them today, further steps will be taken."

Saw this on a bag or chocolate covered raisins:

"suggestion - try tossing over your children's favourite breakfast cereal. in moderation. as part of a healthy lifestyle."

on a whisk:

"designed to please professional chef with fat grippable area for efficient beating"

there's more, i just can't remember at the mo

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 03:35 AM
Nique posted in my thread!

Oh, be still my beating heart!

*swoons clean away*

Joe270
09-11-2007, 03:39 AM
My favorite warning label was on a 6 foot aluminum ladder. It stated:

ENSURE LEG SPREADERS ARE LOCKED BEFORE MOUNTING

Now that's some good advice.

JoNightshade
09-11-2007, 03:43 AM
This was used in all of the public parks in Shandong province. We referred to it as the "NO ANYTHING" sign.

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd9/JoNightshade/Noanything.jpg

I particularly like the "no trumpet" one. ;)

thethinker42
09-11-2007, 04:43 AM
This was used in all of the public parks in Shandong province. We referred to it as the "NO ANYTHING" sign.

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd9/JoNightshade/Noanything.jpg

I particularly like the "no trumpet" one. ;)

I don't see anything about public nudity!!! *grabs Mr.thethinker42 and heads to wherever this sign is...*

Xx|e|ph|e|me|r|al|xX
09-11-2007, 05:09 AM
:roll: :roll: I love funny signs and warning labels. Oh god. :ROFL:

A site everyone probably knows or has heard of or something:

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/

Always good for a lap no matter what. :D

JoNightshade
09-11-2007, 06:51 AM
I don't see anything about public nudity!!! *grabs Mr.thethinker42 and heads to wherever this sign is...*

This is true. AND only the soccer player is wearing clothing. Perhaps the sign assumes nudity!

scarletpeaches
09-11-2007, 06:52 AM
I think the trumpet was the anti-nudity warning.

Well, something about not getting the horn, anyway...

RLB
09-11-2007, 07:34 AM
Took this one somewhere in the Cotswalds. I'd never seen an old folks crossing sign before. Perhaps it's common in England...

http://lh3.google.com/burtons78/RuYKQat_iaI/AAAAAAAAA_A/qjKhtGko_PQ/s288/old%20people%20sign.jpg

This one I found in Italy. I think it's trying to say no soccer in this street, but it just looks like no happy children. Nor trees. Nor houses.

http://lh4.google.com/burtons78/RW5Yf9i-ABI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/GoFjmr0Vltc/s288/154noplaying.jpg