Here's a PM I just sent Danger Jane re. the problems I'm having plotting my WIP. I was wondering if you guys could help me out.
No idea is too stupid/simple/ridiculous. I hate what I have now and I totally need an ending. So here:
"So, basically my theme is about breaking away, and when it stops being about freedom and starts being harmful. Like, how many ties should you cut so you're an individual but not in isolation?
So Griffin and Zach and a few other boys are turning into robots thanks to Griffin's parents. Griffin's father is actually all of their biological fathers...so they're all half brothers. All the boys are growing wings, but they're coming in crooked, painfully--so they need what's called an alignment every few days. The only person who knows how to align them is Griffin's father. So every few days they need to go up to Griffin's house and get aligned. Problem--Griffin's Dad won't align them unless they complete their missions...which are basically jobs that he tells them to do. They're "setting people free" jobs...burning down grocery stores, freeing prisoners, all these weird morally ambiguous things.
Zach had to burn down a seven eleven...totally didn't want to. But eventually he had to, because the pain from not getting aligned was getting too bad. He just gave in, burned it down, and got aligned where I am in the book right now.
So here's what I was planning on happening: After a few more minutes, all the boys minus Griffin were going to plot to kill Griffin's parents--Zach being the leader. When they do, they realize that Griffin's Dad was a robot as well--created, just like they were, by Griffin's mother. But they kill her, fine, and then wait to see what happens. Griffin is furious--not because his parents are dead, but because he wasn't included and he really just wanted to be part of something. This is important. I think.
But anyway...nobody hurts anymore. They're not getting aligned, because the only person/robot who could align them is dead, but they're not in any pain. All except Grififn.
See, that makes no sense. There's no REASON. So they have to kill someone in order for the pain to go away? WHY? That makes no sense! So I might change that.
And everything after this I really don't like...there was going to be major disorder in the group, Griffin and Zach would leave, searching for someone who could align Griffin. They'd find Zach's crazy mom, who would fix Griffin, and Griffin, in order to totally cut ties/not ever hurt anymore, kills her. Zach, in his last truly human moment, begs him not to. He doesn't listen.
Yeah. It sucks. I know.
Do you have any better ideas? I'm kind of picturing this scene where they go free all the students at their school...but I don't know how that would really end, and I don't know how to get my theme across. "
Thanks, guys.
No idea is too stupid/simple/ridiculous. I hate what I have now and I totally need an ending. So here:
"So, basically my theme is about breaking away, and when it stops being about freedom and starts being harmful. Like, how many ties should you cut so you're an individual but not in isolation?
So Griffin and Zach and a few other boys are turning into robots thanks to Griffin's parents. Griffin's father is actually all of their biological fathers...so they're all half brothers. All the boys are growing wings, but they're coming in crooked, painfully--so they need what's called an alignment every few days. The only person who knows how to align them is Griffin's father. So every few days they need to go up to Griffin's house and get aligned. Problem--Griffin's Dad won't align them unless they complete their missions...which are basically jobs that he tells them to do. They're "setting people free" jobs...burning down grocery stores, freeing prisoners, all these weird morally ambiguous things.
Zach had to burn down a seven eleven...totally didn't want to. But eventually he had to, because the pain from not getting aligned was getting too bad. He just gave in, burned it down, and got aligned where I am in the book right now.
So here's what I was planning on happening: After a few more minutes, all the boys minus Griffin were going to plot to kill Griffin's parents--Zach being the leader. When they do, they realize that Griffin's Dad was a robot as well--created, just like they were, by Griffin's mother. But they kill her, fine, and then wait to see what happens. Griffin is furious--not because his parents are dead, but because he wasn't included and he really just wanted to be part of something. This is important. I think.
But anyway...nobody hurts anymore. They're not getting aligned, because the only person/robot who could align them is dead, but they're not in any pain. All except Grififn.
See, that makes no sense. There's no REASON. So they have to kill someone in order for the pain to go away? WHY? That makes no sense! So I might change that.
And everything after this I really don't like...there was going to be major disorder in the group, Griffin and Zach would leave, searching for someone who could align Griffin. They'd find Zach's crazy mom, who would fix Griffin, and Griffin, in order to totally cut ties/not ever hurt anymore, kills her. Zach, in his last truly human moment, begs him not to. He doesn't listen.
Yeah. It sucks. I know.
Do you have any better ideas? I'm kind of picturing this scene where they go free all the students at their school...but I don't know how that would really end, and I don't know how to get my theme across. "
Thanks, guys.
great idea!
