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Salem
09-05-2007, 07:15 PM
Share your embarrassing moments with me so I'll feel better about what I did yesterday.

I typed out a text message to send to my friend Monica, with whom I share some sick inside jokes. The message read:

"Mo, you-know-who smoked all my crack last night. My man will give Jim another hand job if you can spare us some of your stash."

It wasn't until after I hit 'send' that I realized the message went to the person whose name is below Monica's on my call list--Mrs. Tripp, my son's teacher. Yes, I'm an idiot.

RumpleTumbler
09-05-2007, 07:18 PM
:roll:

Have you spoken with her yet?

Thump
09-05-2007, 07:18 PM
X-D

Sorry, I don't think I have anything that can top that.

Well, maybe the time ten years ago when I was having my period and went to school wearing tights. A friend had to point out that it was a bad idea. Everyone could see the pad >_<

Stew21
09-05-2007, 07:22 PM
I don't ever share my most embarrassing moment. Why would I go through the embarrassment again.
Instead I have a stand by "second most" that suffices.

but...

I'm still not going to tell you. It's best suited for small crowds. ;)


but if it makes you feel any better, I have sent IM's and emails to people who were not supposed to receive them.
much red-faced apologizing followed.

the best I can tell you is that the teacher is human and probably knows a joke when she sees one, and possibly has inside jokes of her own.
I'm friends with several teachers. Most of them would find that funny.

Katol
09-05-2007, 07:26 PM
A few years ago, at a party here in Germany, I was telling the packed sitting room about the fantastic diet my husband and I were on. I wanted to say that the diet actually speeded up our metabolism but didn't know the German word for it so I was going to use "organismus".

What I actually screamed above the music was that my husband and I were on this great diet that speeded up our orgasms.

Hubby got some sympathetic looks and I excused myself and disappeared to the loo to give myself a severe kicking.

Salem
09-05-2007, 07:40 PM
Have you spoken with her yet?

Yes. She was understanding but I still feel pretty stupid!

Jersey Chick
09-05-2007, 07:44 PM
Back when I was in high school, I had these really kick-ass pair of boots - you know, the kind that went perfectly with the ripped jeans and huge hair. Anyway, I was walking past this guy I had a huuuuuuge crush on and wanted to get his attention.

The high school had had an addition put on and the hallway I was in was where the old and new wings met and there was this metal strip on the floor where the wings joined. My heel caught on it and I spun around, landed on my ass, and slid up into a wall. Needless to say, I got his attention, but not quite the way I'd intended.

All in all, it worked out and we dated for almost a year - so I don't mind sharing it. :D

Oh, I also fell out of an above ground pool and hit the the grass, knocking the wind out of myself. It took a loooong time to live that one down! :D

Don Allen
09-05-2007, 07:55 PM
Being a huge Beatle fan and Paul McCartney's of course, My ex-wife, my sister (whom I'm stuck with) my 12 year old daughter (can't get rid of, now 27) and myself went to the Four Seasons hotel and rented a room when we found out that Paul would be staying there for a Chicago concert in hopes of getting an autograph. We managed to blend well enough that my sister spotted Joe Dera, Pauls publicist at the time, she convinced me to take my daughter over and introduce ourselves as fans and that MY DAUGHTER, uh hun, would like to get Pauls autograph. Well, Mr. Dera was very nice and agreed to see if he could arrange something if we might have something to sign. On Cue my ex, and my sister came running up to us with fifty album covers plastered with yellow stick-ums detailing who paul should sign what too. Naturally the expression on Mr. Dera's face changed when he realized that I was the front man for a bunch of wack jobs. As a courtesy he held up one finger and said, "I will get you one autograph, that's all." My sister fell on her knees crying and carring on about how much she loved Paul and that she had to get his autograph or she would die, blah, blah blah, so Mr. Dera graciously held up two fingers and said he would see what he could do.
Now that would be pretty embarrassing for most people but we weren't quite through. My ex wife decided that since Mr. Dera was so gracious, we should send a gift to his room. I suggested a bottle, I was out voted for flowers. So, I went to the gift shop and ordered a big bouquet of flowers to be sent to Joe Dera's room with a card that read "To Joe Dera, thank's for the wonderful night", signed - forever grateful, Don. It wasn't until after I recited the contents of the card twice to the clerk to I realize that two members of Paul's band, Hamish Stewart, and Robbie McCintosh were standing in line behind me taking in every word I said.
I turned purple when they looked at each other and started cracking then looked at me and said they never had a clue about Joe.

Later that night, we met Mr. Dera who handed me the autographed albums, and asked that I "please don't send him any more flowers".

JLCwrites
09-05-2007, 09:04 PM
My daughter kept asking a woman at the park "whats in your tummy?"
Unfortunately the woman wasn't pregnant.

Salem
09-05-2007, 09:07 PM
My daughter kept asking a woman at the park "whats in your tummy?"
Unfortunately the woman wasn't pregnant.

You can always rely on kids to emabarrass the hell out of you. Reminds me of the time when my son was three and we were in line at the grocery store. He took the hem of my dress and lifted it up over my butt and unfortunately my arms were full and I couldn't grab my dress quick enough to pull it down!

III
09-05-2007, 09:13 PM
Most of my embarassing moments have been on stage, butchering a guitar solo or knocking over equipment or accidentally switching to a screaming guitar tone in the middle of a quiet song. There's nothing like showing a thousand people you're a total jackass and embarassing your band, then having to finish out a set.

JLCwrites
09-05-2007, 09:14 PM
lol I like the play by play announcing that goes on when my daughter is sharing a public restroom stall with me.

"Yea! Mommy went tinkles!"

She's my little cheerleader.

Gravity
09-05-2007, 09:14 PM
When I was fourteen I spent the summer in LA with my aunt and uncle. One scorching day, while on our way to the LaBrea tar pits, we were stopped at a light. Feeling it an opportune time to go for the gold, I had my right index finger jammed far up my left nostril. That's when I felt eyes on me. Finger still securely planted, I turned my head. In the car next to us sat Robert Mitchum, staring in disbelief. About then the light changed, and the moment passed.

Odd, what the brain recalls...

Writer14
09-05-2007, 09:17 PM
I have a list of many of my 'blonde moments' if you want me to type those. xD

Salem
09-05-2007, 09:21 PM
I have a list of many of my 'blonde moments' if you want me to type those. xD

Yes, please share! Reading all of these posts has already made me feel so much better!

reigningcatsndogs
09-05-2007, 09:38 PM
I fell out of a canoe once -- landed in the water, screaming my freaking face off because I was going to drown. No one came to help me though -- I was only in maybe two feet of water with my life jacket on. It took me a couple minutes to quit bobbing around like Bib the Michelin Man and get my feet under me. My husband, his ENTIRE family, and half the campground were wetting themselves at my expense. For the record, I have an absolute terror of water in any quantities greater than that which can be contained in a porcelain vessel.

Writer14
09-05-2007, 09:41 PM
Okay. I was on the phone with my friend not too long ago (i posted this story somewhere else on AW, but i cant rememebr where).
Anyway, i was on the phone and she said, "Hold on, I'm going to switch phones and call you back in two seconds." well we hang up. Over those two seconds I begin to reorganize a couple things on my bookcase. The phone starts ringing and I pick up and go: "OH! Hi Ashley. How're you?" and then she cracks up laughing and says: "Christina, you're kidding me right? ...I just said I was gonna call you back."

Me: "really?...OH!!!!!"

^^;;

Writer14
09-05-2007, 09:43 PM
Then while i was in school I was sending mass text messages to all my friends cuz I was sitting by the window. I just would click one name and send it off to the digital world [haha..] and said the most random things. One of them, had something REALLY really bad. Like...so bad I'm ashamed I typed it. But anyway, I skim down and click a name and send.

I get a text back saying: CHRISTINA! GROUNDED.

i sent it to my mom.

JoNightshade
09-05-2007, 09:44 PM
This was in high school. Oh the joy. I was at this point planning a trip to Montana in the cold months and I had bought a pair of knee-high super thick socks. It was a cold day so I decided to wear them to school. I put them on and then grabbed my jeans straight out of the dryer.

First period of the day, English, substitute teacher. I'm sitting next to my buddy in the middle of class and I'm telling her about my trip. I then reach down and pull my pantleg up to show her my socks.

And my underwear drops out on the floor. In the middle of class.

I sit there for one long moment wondering, "WTF? How the heck did my underwear--" and then I realize it's not MY underwear, it's a pair that got stuck in my pants in the laundry! I didn't even feel it because of the thick socks. So I reach down and casually grab the undies and stuff them in my pocket. My friend and I are laughing hysterically, and the sub is standing up in front of the room with this puzzled "What did I do?" look.

Don Allen
09-05-2007, 10:40 PM
My daughter kept asking a woman at the park "whats in your tummy?"
Unfortunately the woman wasn't pregnant.


OOOUUUCCCHHH! That hurt!!!!!

BenPanced
09-06-2007, 01:01 AM
Oh, yeah, like I'm going to post THOSE stories on an internet forum. As. If.

nancy sv
09-06-2007, 01:42 AM
You can always rely on kids to emabarrass the hell out of you. Reminds me of the time when my son was three and we were in line at the grocery store. He took the hem of my dress and lifted it up over my butt and unfortunately my arms were full and I couldn't grab my dress quick enough to pull it down!

That's exactly why I always wear my bike shorts under my skirt!!

Lady Esther
09-06-2007, 01:56 AM
:ROFL:Thanks for the laugh guys. :roll: As for my embarrassing moment... well, this is all I can remember right now...


In elementary school I had a crush on a boy named Morgan. Well... at the end of gym class, Morgan walked out of the gym, leaving his sweater on the floor. I grabbed Morgan's sweater, but before I could run, I slipped on his sweater, landing in a split on the gym floor. I hadn't realized that half of the sweater was trapped beneath my foot. I ran out of the gym, not bothering to look back at who saw me.

Salem
09-06-2007, 03:02 AM
Thank you for making laugh, everyone! I feel much better now!

Writer14
09-06-2007, 03:02 AM
I am embarrassed.

But your welcome Salem xDD

akiwiguy
09-06-2007, 03:26 AM
This is an absolutely true story concerning my wife before I met her, and I have verified it from a number of sources because it sounded too bizzare to be true. If you knew my wife, you would realise this is totally in keeping with her antics.

She had a shitty old Toyota, and pulled up in a all-night service station on the way home from a party. So she got the petrol and went to get back in the car, but as usual the door wouldn't open so she threw her handbag on top of the car while she wrestled with the door. Finally she managed to get back in the car, and was about to drive off when she realised her handbag was still on the roof.

This is where it gets bizarre. She then realised she couldn't open the door so would have to get out the passenger one. But she'd shut the hem of her dress in the door. She tried to attract the attention of the attendant but to no avail because they won't leave the counter at that time of night. So she quickly thought, what the hell, there's no one around... so got out of her dress and quickly jumped out in panties, high heels and nothing else, retrieved the bag and hastily drove off, still almost naked, to her house.

Anyway, wondering if anyone had seen her she didn't go back there for months. Finally she had to. And the guy behind the counter smirked and said "Hey... it's you! My mate was working in here one night and saw your little act. We even retrieved the security footage!" He then asked her for a date, but she fled in embarrassment. I still, to this day, usually get my petrol from that station, and often smile as I walk in to pay when I think about it.

Writer14
09-06-2007, 03:34 AM
omg -cracking up laughing-

acharity
09-06-2007, 03:38 AM
Hahahaha... >.> *runs and hides*

Man... SO many embarrassing stories for me... blonde moments galore! Let me think of one while I'm roaming around, lol... I'll get back to you... maybe >.>

JoNightshade
09-06-2007, 03:41 AM
Just a little one...

The other day I was with a group of girlfriends and we were talking about falling in love for the first time. I began a sentence, "When I was in love with my husband..."

Everyone burst out laughing and I, of course, turned bright red.

I still do love him!!! :)

Maryn
09-06-2007, 04:37 AM
When I was in my 20s I had to park pretty far from the building where I worked, walk up the street, then pass through a busy parking lot for the executives, right next to the building.

I had a shot at an entry-level executive slot and had been taking pains to appear professional and serious in terms of my work wardrobe (which was hard for a 70s hippie chick). It being southern Arizona and summer, nobody wore pantyhose.

I felt something slipping at my hips when I was past the point of no return, closer to work than to my car. I'd reached the edge of the executive parking area, and the steps leading into the building, when the hot pink bikini panties I wore under my serious grey suit gave up the ghost and slipped onto my thighs. I desperately tried to walk with my legs welded together hip to knee, but they slithered down until I was sure they must show below my hem. So I let them drop, bent carefully to pick them up, and when I rose, there was the executive who'd interviewed me the day before. I remember his eyebrows rose and he smiled.

I didn't get the job.

Maryn, who never did escape the customer service pool there

Fingers
09-06-2007, 09:55 AM
When I was in basic training my drill sergeant had a slight problem with alcohol. That is to say he was drunk all the time and could not handle doing his job. After about five weeks he was replaced with a new drill sergeant much to everyones relief. One day during a seven mile run to the rifle range, we stopped after four or five miles for a five minute break. The new drill sergeant was a fairly friendly guy for a drill sergeant and actually talked to us like we were humans instead of trainees. I wanted to tell him he was a better drill sergeant than the last one, but what came out of my mouth was 'Do you know what youre doing?' Needless to say he spent the next five minutes telling me his qualifications for being a drill sergeant from about two inches away from my nose. He was pretty pissed. (cant say I blame him) Normally any little infraction would result in losing a weekend pass and getting extra duty on the weekend. When friday afternoon came, I found that I had gotten a pass while one of my buddies did not get his pass because he went outside without his cover. (he forgot to put his hat on when he went outside) He was pretty pissed at me that I had gotten my pass and I dont blame him. I went to the drill sergeant and gave him back my pass and told him that I didnt think I deserved it. He was so impressed by that that he let me have my pass back on sunday and made me only do one day of extra duty. If you havent been in the military I guess this would not seem like much of a big deal. If you have been in the military... nuff said.


yer pal Brian