Dad's not gay anymore. The new scene. Like?

This read really smoothly, and maybe this is a minor quibble, because you may have established the father's personality before this, but he just seems very chummy - almost girl-friendy - with his interactions with Gin.

I guess for me I just can't see *my* dad acting like this and so it's colouring my perception of this.

How long has he been taking care of his daughter on his own?

Okay, as long as it's clearly established that dad's like this, I think I could buy it. Although the mention of dad talking about periods just weirded me out a bit...I'd actually be happier with this relationship if mom had been gone for far longer than 2 years and dad had been forced to play the mom-role -especially in the early teen years where Gin would have had to deal with first periods and bra-buying..etc

Nakhlasmoke said:

Okay, as long as it's clearly established that dad's like this, I think I could buy it. Although the mention of dad talking about periods just weirded me out a bit...I'd actually be happier with this relationship if mom had been gone for far longer than 2 years and dad had been forced to play the mom-role -especially in the early teen years where Gin would have had to deal with first periods and bra-buying..etc

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Yeah.

And well if my dad ever even said the word "period" to me I think I'd have a heart attack. The closest I'll ever come to mentioning it to him is something about my "crazy teenage hormones leave me alone" before I go off to cry/fume.

But good stuff.

My dad talks about periods and bras and girl stuff, and I have a Mom. It's kind of awkward, really.

Roskoebaby, I want to comment on this, but don't have time tonight! If I don't crit you tomorrow, PM me or something.

Yeah. Good work!

Oh I like it, sorry if my comment distracted from that!

Danger Jane said:

Yeah.

And well if my dad ever even said the word "period" to me I think I'd have a heart attack. The closest I'll ever come to mentioning it to him is something about my "crazy teenage hormones leave me alone" before I go off to cry/fume.

But good stuff.

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My dad barely even acknowledges the fact that I'm female and I'm 31.

Once when he was in a pissy mood I accused him of being on his period and he went, "Yeah, I caught it from you."

I nearly died of embarrassment.

I'd never talk to my dad about periods, sex, relationships, bras, anything.

Although, having said that, I wouldn't talk to a female relative that way, either. I don't come from that sort of family.

So it's nothing gender-based. We're universally repressed.

Don't worry scarletpeaches, our family is the same. I actually don't think I've ever heard my dad even say the word '[eriod'.

scarletpeaches said:

My dad barely even acknowledges the fact that I'm female and I'm 31.

Once when he was in a pissy mood I accused him of being on his period and he went, "Yeah, I caught it from you."

I nearly died of embarrassment.

Click to expand...

Geez, and I feel guilty for just being eighteen and a pissy moody teenager. I practically had a heart attack the other night when he told me I was exactly like my mom and if she had gotten six hours of sleep the previous night, she would be incapacitated if he had asked her anything, too.

I don't even know why I was in cardiac arrest over that. It's not like it's not true.

(I wasn't overtired. I was really mad at my dumbass sister. You want a goddamn ride to school, you better get in the fucking car when I want to leave. Otherwise, take the damn bus.)

I'm not sure if you're looking for in-depth critiques or a line edit or anything. It sounds like you're just wondering if I like it. I thought that your writing has a nice style/voice/whatever-you-call it and think that as long as the relationship is established, the conversation works fine.

That's the hard thing. This is just in the middle of a story, so I haven't gotten to the point where I care or know about the characters. I'm just jumping in without the necessary background info.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help!