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Bubastes
09-04-2007, 06:04 PM
I received a big ol' compliment related to work this past weekend, one that should have had me walking on air. But as usual, I pushed it away in my head and piled on a bunch of mental put-downs for good measure. Does anyone else have a hard time accepting compliments of any sort, personal and professional?

Kate Thornton
09-04-2007, 06:08 PM
No - the proper response is "Thank you!" and I love to say it.

maestrowork
09-04-2007, 06:09 PM
Yes, I have trouble dealing with compliments. Blame it on my upbringing.

TrainofThought
09-04-2007, 06:10 PM
*raises hand* Youíre not alone. I can handle compliments regarding work and personality, but forget about compliments regarding appearance. Iím HORRIBLE at accepting compliments about my looks and I either laugh or ignore it. I know itís rude of me.

Bubastes
09-04-2007, 06:13 PM
I don't trust compliments from anyone about anything. My first reaction is "Why are they telling me this? What do they want from me?" I automatically question the judgment of a person who compliments me. Bad habit, I know, and not very nice.

reigningcatsndogs
09-04-2007, 06:15 PM
I just got a virtual (but necessary and appreciated) ass-kicking;) for this very reason, literally only 30 seconds ago. Also last night on the phone from big sister. I'm just humble.

We should form a club to build our self esteem and help us to accept and appreciate compliments. Maybe our theme song should be "Lord, it's hard to be humble!!"

scarletpeaches
09-04-2007, 06:17 PM
Compliments either embarrass me or make me think the other person is after something.

But like Kate says, the correct response is a simple thank-you, otherwise the compliments will dry up after a while as people start to think, "What's the point? She denies it anyway."

BenPanced
09-04-2007, 06:49 PM
Yeah, whenever somebody compliments me, I think they're asking the wrong person to borrow money.

cray
09-04-2007, 06:51 PM
the people of this thread are awesome.
accept it. :D

benbradley
09-04-2007, 07:38 PM
I don't trust compliments from anyone about anything. My first reaction is "Why are they telling me this? What do they want from me?" I automatically question the judgment of a person who compliments me. Bad habit, I know, and not very nice.
You (and Ray and one or two other posters) took the words right out of my fingertips. See my post in the "Does your family believe in you" thread (or not, if you don't want to read whiney stuff).

OTOH, I've somehow learned (through a half-century of being alive and not managing to be a complete hermit, and learning enough about social situations to be just a bit dangerous) to accept many compliments. I figure sometimes some people ARE just being honest, perhaps in the same way even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut, and how a broken clock is right twice a day. There can't be that many people who know me that well that they're all out to get me. And if they don't already know me well, then maybe I can fool them for just a bit longer into thinking I'm a good, decent person, worthy of their compliments.;)

Siddow
09-04-2007, 08:11 PM
I'd just like to say that Ben is a great guy. :)

Oh, and I'm a total egomaniac, so I have no trouble accepting compliments. Heck, you could insult me and I'd probably still take it as a compliment. :D

sunna
09-04-2007, 08:17 PM
I'm learning, slowly. Compliments just make me uncomfortable. I had an agent compliment me last month, and I had no clue how to handle it; I acutally didn't respond for a day and a half because I couldn't think of a single thing to say that didn't seem like too little or too much.

Pathetic. There ought to be classes.

pconsidine
09-04-2007, 08:29 PM
Count me in the "can't take a compliment" crew. Though I have learned not to argue with people to their faces anymore, I still have the same thought process that makes me want to. In my case, it's a matter of overriding perfectionism. There's just no such thing as "good enough." If it's not perfect (in my mind), then it's worthless.

Lately, though, I've been in a real self-exploratory phase where I'm coming to learn what my strengths really are. When I get compliments on what I now believe are my real virtues, it's much easier to accept them. I might even chip in a little mental "you're damn right!" on top of it. :)

TrainofThought
09-04-2007, 08:53 PM
I agree that it is wrong not to accept a compliment, but I can’t seem to get over it. I also don’t like unsolicited criticism. If I ask someone for their opinion and they compliment or criticize then I’m all right with it. It’s when I don’t ask for criticism and/or compliments that bother me.

I admit it, I’m messed up.

wyntermoon
09-04-2007, 09:02 PM
You may take a tip from my five-year-old daughter, Lily, whom when responding to any compliment is wont to say, "Yes, thank you, I know." She will then flutter her eyelashes outrageously and ask for ice cream. :e2file:

akiwiguy
09-04-2007, 09:13 PM
For me it depends upon whether or not the compliment is aimed at something I'm secure about myself. If I really have trouble accepting within myself that I've got much talent or whatever in a given area, then I'm likely to deflect compliments relating to that. If I'm more secure about whatever's being complimented then I can accept it.

JoNightshade
09-04-2007, 09:42 PM
*raises hand* Youíre not alone. I can handle compliments regarding work and personality, but forget about compliments regarding appearance. Iím HORRIBLE at accepting compliments about my looks and I either laugh or ignore it. I know itís rude of me.

Same here. I know I totally got this from my mom. My dad would always tell her how beautiful she was and she would always brush him off, like "Don't be ridiculous, I know you're lying." I inherited the same attitude. If someone tells me I look nice, 90% of the time I just flat out don't believe them.

But if it's something I worked hard on, like at work or writing or whatever? Oh heck yeah, I'll take compliments. I earned them with the sweat of my brow! Or fingers or whatever.

StoryG27
09-04-2007, 09:43 PM
I automatically question the judgment of a person who compliments me.
:D Too funny.

pconsidine
09-04-2007, 09:47 PM
Might be funny, but I'm the same way. I automatically suspect people who compliment me, wondering what their angle is. Of course, if someone criticizes me, I'm always sure that they're right.

I guess being screwed up can be pretty funny, though. :)

RumpleTumbler
09-04-2007, 09:47 PM
:D Too funny.

Hey...nice ass!

StoryG27
09-04-2007, 09:52 PM
Oh, and I'm a total egomaniac, so I have no trouble accepting compliments. Heck, you could insult me and I'd probably still take it as a compliment. :D
I love it! I get a kick out of people who can do that.

TrainofThought
09-04-2007, 09:56 PM
Same here. I know I totally got this from my mom. My dad would always tell her how beautiful she was and she would always brush him off, like "Don't be ridiculous, I know you're lying." I inherited the same attitude. If someone tells me I look nice, 90% of the time I just flat out don't believe them.I don't know who I got it from so I'll just blame everyone for it. :tongue As a matter of fact, it's your fault I can't accept a compliment. :D


I guess being screwed up can be pretty funny, though. :)I laugh at myself every day... most likely because I did or said something stupid.

Siddow
09-04-2007, 10:02 PM
I love it! I get a kick out of people who can do that.

And I love being quoted!

Susie
09-04-2007, 11:23 PM
Compliments are great. So, I'm ready any time you feel you want to give me one. :D

NeuroFizz
09-04-2007, 11:27 PM
Great thread, Meow.

Bubastes
09-04-2007, 11:34 PM
Great thread, Meow.

I question your judgment. ;)

pconsidine
09-05-2007, 12:16 AM
And I love being quoted! /steps away from the ego hurricane that's about to hit the coast of AW.



;)

Siddow
09-05-2007, 12:30 AM
/steps away from the ego hurricane that's about to hit the coast of AW.



;)

I mean it, each quote makes my day. :snoopy:

cray
09-05-2007, 12:31 AM
I mean it, each quote makes my day. :snoopy:


there.

Siddow
09-05-2007, 12:37 AM
there.

Awww...here's a quote for you. Double the exposure for no extra effort! How cool is that?

Soccer Mom
09-05-2007, 12:37 AM
Yeah, I have trouble with compliments. Outwardly, I say "why thank you. aren't you sweet." Inside: "WTF have you been smoking."

Sigh.

pconsidine
09-05-2007, 02:18 AM
"WTF have you been smoking."It's the lack of sharing that bugs me the most.