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Beta needed for YA fantasy in screenplay form

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kathyhermy123

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Hello! I need critique (and some mentoring) on a YA screenplay I have written. It is about sixty-two MS Word pages long (not including title page). It's my first, and not anywhere near completion in the nit-picking sense.

Problems:

-Not enough detail

-Confusing plot

-Songs that really need to get out (I got ideas for scenes from various songs, and now I need to edit them out of the scene, especially the ones from movies. This is the biggest issue.)

-Boring battle scenes

-cliches

-Irishisms (where my nationality really shows)

Thanks so much to anyone who replies! Please either PM or post your respose here.

~Kathy
 
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