Particle Physics...

What huge thing? Puma

Maryn said:

[Everything I can think of to say is filthy, so I'll just shut up now, okay?]

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Just start a new thread titled "The Partical[sic] Physics Thread" over in TIO, put a "Filthy" warning at the start of your post, and say exactly what you're thinking...

Of course, I can't promise the blessings of the moderators for doing that...

valen_sinclair said:

Well I think I might be asking the impossible here, but I would like to know roughly what they would say when starting that huge thing up!

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I'm imagining the scientists in white coats applying power to some high-GeV atom smasher thing, they might quote K&R's C Programming Language handbook and say "Hello, world.\n"

You mean like a particle accelerator?
What do they say when they turn on the cyclotron?

Probably

"Jim, what's that readout say?
Now what does it say?
Now what does it say?"

or

"I keep getting an error message."

or

"Will somebody please get that bloody ladder out of the fire exit."

or

"We're getting together for a beer as soon as the beast is on line. Wanna come?"

valen_sinclair said:

Well I think I might be asking the impossible here, but I would like to know roughly what they would say when starting that huge thing up!

Click to expand...

This has got to be the most hilarious OP I have ever seen. It's like a big black hole. Beautiful but ultimately useless, maybe dangerous, sucking everything into itself but generating nothing in return (at least in this universe).

I'm going to go start a thread just like this called "Dooberflautcheys." Do stop by, will you?

"Joe, start up the particle accelerator, will you?"
"Okay...particle accelerator is . . . on!"

"Wait, wait! Are you sure the foam is attached?"

I think they'd say 'Partical? Partical? Oh! You mean particle. Well, now, let me introduce you to the Charmed Quark. And this one here is Top. He used to be called Truth but physicists thought that was too interesting. And poor Bottom over there has never quite got over not being Beauty any more. Yes, those are the muons in that corner. Hadrons, leptons, kaons...' waves hand vaguely. 'That what you wanted?'

Semi-serious answer –

Given that it takes several days (I think) to get the thing up to speed, they probably don't say much at all. However, here's a much more useful place to ask:

Fermi National Accelerator Lab

"John, please push that green button over there. Everybody stand by. We're good to go."



Yeah, I imagine it has to be pretty boring, whatever they might say.

There's also CERN, here:
http://public.web.cern.ch/Public/Welcome.html
They had so much scientific and technical info to give out, someone there wrote a hypertext protocol to go ontop of the Internet to make the dissemination and browsing of such information easier.

Just think, we're all communicating on AW's Water Cooler because of all the particle physics done at CERN.

I recall there was going to be a Super-Duper SuperCollider in Texas years ago, I think it was going to be the biggest in the world when it got finised, but funding got cancelled by Congress.

By Computer

skelly said:

This has got to be the most hilarious OP I have ever seen. It's like a big black hole. Beautiful but ultimately useless, maybe dangerous, sucking everything into itself but generating nothing in return (at least in this universe).

I'm going to go start a thread just like this called "Dooberflautcheys." Do stop by, will you?

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The computer does it?

Fermilabapos;s automated accelerator start-up programs
Annala, G.; Hendricks, B.; Emma, P.
Particle Accelerator Conference, 1989. apos;Accelerator Science and Technologyapos;., Proceedings of the 1989 IEEE
Volume , Issue , 20-23 Mar 1989 Page(s):1940 - 1942 vol.3
Digital Object Identifier 10.1109/PAC.1989.72976
Summary:Sequencer-type application programs are used to turn on several accelerator systems at Fermilab. One of the first systems to use such a program was the Tevatron main power supply system. The function of TARCAS (Tevatron Automated Ramp Check-out and Start-up) is discussed. A brief summary of the operation experience with such sequencer programs is also presented

Might take months

job said:

You mean like a partical accelerator?
What do they say when they turn on the cyclotron?

Probably

"Jim, what's that readout say?
Now what does it say?
Now what does it say?"

or

"I keep getting an error message."

or

"Will somebody please get that bloody ladder out of the fire exit."

or

"We're getting together for a beer as soon as the beast is on line. Wanna come?"

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There's this (from http://measurementdb.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=705 )

Deleting copyrighted material - please use the link above to read the article. - Cath

After the first successful test at Cern they all had ice cream cones. There's a photo.

Oberon said:

After the first successful test at Cern they all had ice cream cones. There's a photo.

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Every physicist I've ever known has liked ice cream.

Sokal said:

There's this (from http://measurementdb.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=705 )

R&D News

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Gentle Sir or Madam --

This article appears to be copyright.
As in
"Copyright 2006, 2007 - MeasurementMedia Division of Temperatures.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. "

It is so easy for us to forget that material posted on the net is protected by copyright law.
If you selected 50 or 100 words from this longer article and posted them, that would doubtless fall under the 'Fair Use' provision of the copyright law.


Just mentioning this.

pconsidine said:

Given that it takes several days (I think) to get the thing up to speed, they probably don't say much at all.

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Heck. If it takes that long they probably get particle bored.

job said:

Heck. If it takes that long they probably get particle bored.

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Ouch. Seriously.


Ouch.

If it's anything like our tests it would probably go:

"Was that it?"

"I don't know. The computer's thinking."

Well the LHC is supposed to be up and running sometime next year if there aren't any more delays....and hopefully next semester I'll be able to get into research with one of the professors writing the program and algorithms that'll evaluate the muon trails in the CMS....so if you can wait for me to get back to you sometime in 2008?

valen_sinclair said:

...what they would say when starting that huge thing up!

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'HAL, open the hatch. Open the hatch, HAL--

HAL?'

job said:

You mean like a particle accelerator?
What do they say when they turn on the cyclotron?

Probably

"Jim, what's that readout say?
Now what does it say?
Now what does it say?"

or

"I keep getting an error message."

or

"Will somebody please get that bloody ladder out of the fire exit."

or

"We're getting together for a beer as soon as the beast is on line. Wanna come?"

Click to expand...

Or something like

Scientist A: "Turbines?"
Scientist B: "Check"

Scientist A: "Supercollider?"
Scientist B: "Supercollider? I just met her!"

Sorry, any excuse to tell that joke. Carry on.

valen_sinclair said:

Well I think I might be asking the impossible here, but I would like to know roughly what they would say when starting that huge thing up!

Click to expand...

My best guess would be something like this -


Scientist 6: "I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from standard
analysis procedures today, Gordon."
Scientist 7: "Yes, but with good reason. This is a rare opportunity for
us. This is the purest sample we've seen yet."
Scientist 6: "And, potentially, the most unstable."
Scientist 7: "Now, now, if you follow standard insertion procedure,
everything will be fine."
Scientist 6: "I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit
that the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely
unlikely."
Scientist 7: "Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly
trained professional. We've assured the administrator that nothing will
go wrong."
Scientist 6: "Ah...yes, you're right. Gordon, we have complete
confidence in you."
Scientist 7: "Well, go ahead. Let's let him in now."

The two scientists use retinal scanners to unlock the door, and Gordon
enters the test chamber. Inside, the scientists communicate with Gordon
over the intercom.

Intercom 1: (feedback)"Testing, testing. (coughs) Everything seems to
be in order."
Intercom 2: "All right, Gordon. your suit should keep you comfortable
through all this. The specimen will be delivered to you in a few
moments. If you would be so good as to climb up and start the rotors,
we can bring the anti-mass spectrometer to 80 percent and hold it there
until the carrier arrives.
Intercom 2: "Gordon, are you not hearing me? Climb up and start the
rotors, please.
Intercom 2: "Very good. We'll take it from here."
Intercom 1: "Power to stage 1 emitters in 3,2,1. I'm seeing predictable
phase arrays."
Intercom 1: "Stage 2 emitters activating...now."
Intercom 2: "Gordon, we cannot predict how long the system can operate
at this level, nor how long the readings will take. Please, work as
quickly as you can."
Intercom 1: "Overhead capacitors to one oh five percent. Uh, it's
probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy
in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining
sequence."
Intercom 2: "I've just been informed that the sample is ready, Gordon.
It should be coming up to you any moment now. Look to the delivery
system for your specimen."

Gordon pushes the cart into the machine. Electricity begins arcing out
of control all around the machine.

Intercom 1: "Oh dear!"
Intercom 2: "Gordon, get away from the-"
Intercom 1: "Shutting down-no, attempted shutdown. It's not-it's not,
it's not shutting down!"

</ubergeek>