Rated R story excerpt-trash it?

Status
Not open for further replies.

SinkFulloDishes

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 23, 2007
Messages
111
Reaction score
18
Location
upstate New York
I kept reading until the end, and laughed a few times. Her dad sounds like a character; I liked her description of him. Anyway, I'd say keep going. But then, that's only because I need to know what happens next...:tongue
 

roskoebaby

Thanks sink. I completely feel your name, by the way. Hey where in Upstate are you? I 'm originally from UTICA.
 

SinkFulloDishes

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 23, 2007
Messages
111
Reaction score
18
Location
upstate New York
Thanks sink. I completely feel your name, by the way. Hey where in Upstate are you? I 'm originally from UTICA.

We just hung a right off the Thruway at Utica last weekend on our way up to the Waterford area. I live a bit northwest of Albany.

And, heheheh, I almost just found the bottom of my sink, but my little one (almost 2) came along to "help" load the dishwasher ;).
 

roskoebaby

haha. Helping is great. My husband and my kids have about the same skill level when it comes to cleaning. I think today is the day that I vaccuum, though. Maybe.
 

JLCwrites

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Messages
3,079
Reaction score
5,696
Location
Pacific NW
Sounds great so far, and I am with Dishes. I can't wait to know what happens next. Personally Id like Monica's mom to find out and all 'hell' break loose, but that's me.

There is one bit of inconsistency and it could be left unchanged. At first Ginger calls her dad an asshole, but later says her dad and her are very close. Ie.. she has respect for him. I know that even the coolest parents can get under a teen's skin, but I think that she may not be quite as brutal when referring to a frustrating father who loves her so much. (he is a very cool dad BTW) Maybe if she just groaned and sighed, or rolled her eyes.

Other than that, it looks great!
-TL
 

roskoebaby

Sounds great so far, and I am with Dishes. I can't wait to know what happens next. Personally Id like Monica's mom to find out and all 'hell' break loose, but that's me.

There is one bit of inconsistency and it could be left unchanged. At first Ginger calls her dad an asshole, but later says her dad and her are very close. Ie.. she has respect for him. I know that even the coolest parents can get under a teen's skin, but I think that she may not be quite as brutal when referring to a frustrating father who loves her so much. (he is a very cool dad BTW) Maybe if she just groaned and sighed, or rolled her eyes.

Other than that, it looks great!
-TL


Good point! Thanks!
 

OverTheHills&FarAway

McNifico
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 7, 2006
Messages
2,612
Reaction score
470
Location
in my cave
Interesting...

Well, I'm hooked. Spilling your problems on strangers can only lead to more exciting story.

You are writing more, right???
 

roskoebaby

Interesting...

Well, I'm hooked. Spilling your problems on strangers can only lead to more exciting story.

You are writing more, right???

cool, thanks. I made it into a full chapter, about 11 pages, but it also inspired me to get back to my original book. But I liked it. I actually worked at that restaurant when I was younger and it was fun to reread what I wrote. I think this will be my next project.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.