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View Full Version : My first banquet is tomorrow and guess who we're serving?



writerterri
08-28-2007, 02:37 AM
The president of the United States!


:e2thud:



*squeek*


I just know my cold sore is going to grow over night. *sigh*

Now I'm never going to sleep. *sigh*

I've got butterflies already. *sigh*

Please, God, let me start my period after tomorrow and help me to not pour food on someones lap like I did in my first job. And help me not to dribble food down my front when I eat.

Amen.

JoNightshade
08-28-2007, 02:48 AM
WOW! That is really cool. You must work at a really classy place. Is it a hotel or something?

Susie
08-28-2007, 02:49 AM
You'll do a terrific job. Let us know how it goes and bet it'll work out great!

Danger Jane
08-28-2007, 02:50 AM
wow

you should ask him to borrow air force 1

akiwiguy
08-28-2007, 02:57 AM
Also.. do not address him as DORK!

scarletpeaches
08-28-2007, 02:58 AM
Why not? He is one!

Esopha
08-28-2007, 02:59 AM
Also.. do not address him as DORK!

Or ask him questions with polysyllabic words.

:D

I'm totally kidding. You should enjoy your night! This means that you get to advertise that your place served the president!

writerterri
08-28-2007, 03:00 AM
WOW! That is really cool. You must work at a really classy place. Is it a hotel or something?


I just got a job as a banquet server and the owner announced who we would be serving today. I was in shock.


I still am.

akiwiguy
08-28-2007, 03:01 AM
Although.. perhaps he'd be right into a good dorking? Imagine that, telling the grandkids, "I dorked the President!"

writerterri
08-28-2007, 03:04 AM
wow

you should ask him to borrow air force 1



Okay!

I live right below the air path and I'll be looking for the plane.

writerterri
08-28-2007, 03:05 AM
Although.. perhaps he'd be right into a good dorking? Imagine that, telling the grandkids, "I dorked the President!"

~giggle~


I thought Sirdork would be more appropriate.

writerterri
08-28-2007, 03:07 AM
Oh, I get to be checked out by the Secret Service.

I can think of a hundred dumb things to say to get my butt put in jail too.

Rolling Thunder
08-28-2007, 03:14 AM
*somehow knows Werri is going to make the patdown last a long long time*











:D

wyntermoon
08-28-2007, 04:50 AM
Slip him your MS, just make sure to take all the big words out... ;)

Haggis
08-28-2007, 04:55 AM
'Scuse me. Do any of you people know anything about someone named...Werrie something?

http://www.indybay.org/olduploads/9_secret_service.jpg

Sage
08-28-2007, 04:57 AM
Man, & here I was thinking that you were going to tell us who you were serving for dinner.

BenPanced
08-28-2007, 05:00 AM
Just remember: start drinking after they've served dessert.

Azraelsbane
08-28-2007, 05:05 AM
That's awesome Terri! Tell him I said hi, and he's the first president in 20 years I haven't gotten a personal letter from...the punk!

Wait, on second thought... Don't tell him. He might send the big guns after me.

rubarbb
08-28-2007, 05:07 AM
Also.. do not address him as DORK!


How about..."How ya' doin' cowboy!" Good luck werri...

Little Red Barn
08-28-2007, 05:12 AM
Terri, I would soooo bend over, pour his coffee and whisper Dork in his ear....
Do it, do it, I dare you!
Then when he looks up at you with a puzzled expression, say, "Excuse me, Mr. President, sir, I meant fart--fart, a little gassy tonite..." Pour a shot more of the coffee in his cup, and whisper 'Dork' again! Do it--

acharity
08-28-2007, 05:31 AM
Ignore his ginormous ears! They could probably swallow you whole :O

acharity
08-28-2007, 05:32 AM
Or, better yet, try to see how many veggies you can launch into them without him noticing. You get a whole broccoli in there, you get bonus points!

Williebee
08-28-2007, 05:34 AM
Meat Loaf? (again)

I looked through all the posts figuring for sure that SOMEBODY would have beaten me too it...

Marlys
08-28-2007, 05:37 AM
Wow--how wonderful! (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75056)

Azraelsbane
08-28-2007, 05:39 AM
Wow--how wonderful! (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75056)

Are you suggesting she poison him? :Shrug:

writerterri
08-28-2007, 06:18 AM
*somehow knows Werri is going to make the patdown last a long long time*











:D


How'd you know?

writerterri
08-28-2007, 06:20 AM
Slip him your MS, just make sure to take all the big words out... ;)


Boo! You're so bad. :D

maestrowork
08-28-2007, 06:22 AM
What a good start. Make sure you don't make him throw up. :)

writerterri
08-28-2007, 06:27 AM
Are you suggesting she poison him? :Shrug:


She sure was, wasn't she?

Kentuk
08-28-2007, 06:30 AM
I'd prefer peking duck but if you want to serve the president go ahead...dork.

writerterri
08-28-2007, 06:32 AM
What a good start. Make sure you don't make him throw up. :)


From my cold sore?


My husband said that I should dump dinner on him and make national headlines.


Should I?

I was thinking about it.

I may not even get close enough to him to do so. They'll probably stick someone experienced with him.

I do hope I get close to him. I'll even clear his table.

Oh, I'll try to get his napkin! Or ask him to sign my Watergate Hotel menu. No, that's a bad idea. I wonder if anyone will try to get his napkin. I know, I'll give him a new napkin after dinner before dessert.

That way I'll have his napkin.

RLB
08-28-2007, 06:54 AM
I'll need to know what kind of a tipper he is. Professional curiosity.

Shwebb
08-28-2007, 07:05 AM
One good thing to note is that the thread on herb lore is not about killing someone, just making someone ill. Or maybe inducing an altered state.

/snarkon/ but in POTUS's case, how would we be able to tell the difference? /snarkoff/

That sounds like a lot of fun, Terri! Let us know what happens!

limitedtimeauthor
08-28-2007, 07:08 AM
Terri! I need all the details! Seriously! Wow! I can't stop exclaiming! I have something like this in my WIP! I have no idea what these kinds of things are like! So how can I write them in my WIP?

Wanna be my expert source?! New best friend! :D

You're perfect, too, because I'm writing a humorous novel! (I hope, anyway.) I'm sure your perspective will be more suitable than the documentaries I've watched.

:D

I need to know about your security check - whether they ask you questions or just do it behind your back. And if they make you pass through a metal detector, pat you down, etc., to get into the hotel. And what the Secret Service agents look like and where they are standing, etc. Whatever you can think of.

And hopefully there will be a drunk guy there who starts a ruckus, and you can describe for me what he does and how the agents handle him. Like if they're all professional and courteous and stuff, or if they rough him up. Or maybe they just hand him over to a local cop to deal with.



This is so awesome.


:D

What fun. Now we can all write books with the Prez in them!

Susie
08-28-2007, 07:29 AM
Are you gonna serve him chicken? Just wondering.

akiwiguy
08-28-2007, 07:36 AM
http://s159.photobucket.com/albums/t158/itismeinnz/george_bushc.jpg

Bmwhtly
08-28-2007, 11:25 AM
I'd HATE to be at that dinner table, there'd probably be more spit than food on those plates.

Little Red Barn
08-28-2007, 04:32 PM
"That way I'll have his napkin."

That way I'll have his DNA. So the great great great children gave view him in an exhibit at the local zoo--

eldragon
08-28-2007, 06:10 PM
That sounds pretty cool.

Good luck, Terri.

MidnightMuse
08-28-2007, 06:12 PM
Cool. He was just here yesterday, I saw his traffic jam on the news.

cray
08-28-2007, 06:13 PM
did they do a bkground check on you, dork? :D

zahra
08-28-2007, 10:22 PM
did they do a bkground check on you, dork? :D
Well, they can't have, can they?

aadams73
08-28-2007, 10:25 PM
Will they, perchance, serve pretzels?

(Optimistic)

arrowqueen
08-29-2007, 01:11 AM
Remember and cut up his meat small enough. (See post above.)

misswriter
08-29-2007, 01:47 AM
That's so cool! Dump your food on him! When you makenational headlines I'll say "OH! She belongs to the Water Cooler guys...I've talked to her (er, once, now...) online!"

Kate Thornton
08-29-2007, 02:14 AM
Terri - what a thrill. I'm not a big fan of the current one, but serving a US President is a big fricken deal. Tell us ALL about it, okay?

Every detail, you Queen of Dorks!

writerterri
08-29-2007, 08:38 PM
Well, I could let my fiction writer come into my head and make it all up and fill in all the blanks, but I didn't even get to set my eyes on him. :cry:

I was so bummed.


A Secret Service guy said (who was really cute by the way) that it would take way too long to screen each server and all the food and cooks to let him eat in the main room. He ate upstairs and I wasn't a server who got to feed him.

But on the bright side, I was in the same building at the same time he was. :D

I'm really disappointed that my boss got me all excited, but perhaps she thought that he would be in the banquet eating with all the American Legion people at the same time, so I will show her mercy.

Serving the American Legion was an honor though. They were very pleasant (with the exception of a couple of women who were probably ex drill sergeants). I wanted to pour coffee in her lap for saying the food was nothing to write home to mom about.

I go back to night and do a dinner and hope to make more than 3 bucks in tips. But I was the only one who made tips. So I feel good about my 3 bucks.

I still love my president though some don't like to hear it. I stand behind him no matter what.

I had fun with the workers and I quickly had a little posse of men who followed me around all day. They were so funny, I didn't have to pick up anything heavy, they all did it for me. I even got a shoulder rub. And they wouldn't stop gazing into my eyes! I guess they couldn't help it. :D

I had fun even though I didn't get to see my President.

Haggis
08-29-2007, 08:55 PM
Well, I could let my fiction writer come into my head and make it all up and fill in all the blanks, but I didn't even get to set my eyes on him. :cry:

I was so bummed.


A Secret Service guy said (who was really cute by the way) that it would take way too long to screen each server and all the food and cooks to let him eat in the main room. He ate upstairs and I wasn't a server who got to feed him.

But on the bright side, I was in the same building at the same time he was. :D

I'm really disappointed that my boss got me all excited, but perhaps she thought that he would be in the banquet eating with all the American Legion people at the same time, so I will show her mercy.

Serving the American Legion was an honor though. They were very pleasant (with the exception of a couple of women who were probably ex drill sergeants). I wanted to pour coffee in her lap for saying the food was nothing to write home to mom about.

I go back to night and do a dinner and hope to make more than 3 bucks in tips. But I was the only one who made tips. So I feel good about my 3 bucks.

I still love my president though some don't like to hear it. I stand behind him no matter what.

I had fun with the workers and I quickly had a little posse of men who followed me around all day. They were so funny, I didn't have to pick up anything heavy, they all did it for me. I even got a shoulder rub. And they wouldn't stop gazing into my eyes! I guess they couldn't help it. :D

I had fun even though I didn't get to see my President.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did you enjoy it whan they patted you down?

writerterri
08-29-2007, 09:04 PM
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did you enjoy it whan they patted you down?


That was you wasn't it! I knew it! I looked at the guy and said "Haggis." He thought it was some code word and took me to the back room to strip search me all the while playing it off like he didn't know what I was talking about.

It was fun. I give you 8.5.



The only patting down I got was from my posse. The dogs.

writerterri
08-29-2007, 09:09 PM
'Scuse me. Do any of you people know anything about someone named...Werrie something?

http://www.indybay.org/olduploads/9_secret_service.jpg

I'd take down that one on right. Anytime, anywhere. ;)

Kate Thornton
08-29-2007, 11:02 PM
What a thrill, Terri! I'm sorry you didn't get to serve the President, but I'm glad you had a good time. And serving the American Legion - that's a pretty good deal!

I hope tonight's dinner gets you even more fun and big tips!

RumpleTumbler
08-29-2007, 11:11 PM
I had fun with the workers and I quickly had a little posse

Nothing wrong with that. :)

writerterri
08-30-2007, 12:02 AM
Nothing wrong with that. :)



At least they were entertained. I have to gently break them into dorkism though.

akiwiguy
08-30-2007, 12:14 AM
I had fun with the workers and I quickly had a little posse of men who followed me around all day. They were so funny, I didn't have to pick up anything heavy, they all did it for me. I even got a shoulder rub. And they wouldn't stop gazing into my eyes! I guess they couldn't help it. :D



Pffft! A little troupe of minions desperate for a dorking! Werri... you're not already..?...