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View Full Version : Ouch! You did what to your ex???



My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 09:14 PM
I'm sorry if the link doesn't work. I tried to find some info regarding including links in posts/threads...but I couldn't find it. I hope this works.

As for the topic....OUCH!


http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070822/od_nm/russia_crime_penis_dc;_ylt=AvnJ72l7cEqcbN03bBpSQ4k uQE4F

EriRae
08-25-2007, 09:17 PM
Difficult to predict recovery...:roll:

Oops...post started by a male...usually means you were looking for sympathy. Ahem. :Shrug: Sorry?

Haggis
08-25-2007, 09:18 PM
Lorena Bobbitt with a tourch. *shudder*

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 09:19 PM
"I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

No? Really? You mean, sitting around naked while co-habitating with your ex didn't strike you as a bad thing...?

Still....burning a man's funstick just seems so wrong!

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 09:21 PM
Difficult to predict recovery...:roll:

Oops...post started by a male...usually means you were looking for sympathy. Ahem. :Shrug: Sorry?

No, I'm not looking for 'sympathy'.

Some men are stupid.
Some women are cruel.

Those two types shouldn't hook up!

EriRae
08-25-2007, 09:22 PM
No, I'm not looking for 'sympathy'.

Some men are stupid.
Some women are cruel.

Those two types shouldn't hook up!

Agreed. But they do make good fodder for fiction.

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 09:23 PM
Agreed. But they do make good fodder for fiction.

An entire sub-genre, right? :)

scarletpeaches
08-25-2007, 09:28 PM
Hmm...that's got me thinking about what I can do to some of my exes...:e2brows:

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 09:28 PM
An entire sub-genre, right? :)

The private (angry) dick fiction?

SpookyWriter
08-25-2007, 09:29 PM
The private (angry) dick fiction?Something to investigate, right?

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 09:31 PM
Write like you're on fire.

SpookyWriter
08-25-2007, 09:32 PM
Use lots of similes.

julie thorpe
08-25-2007, 09:34 PM
Lends a whole new meaning to the old saying "I'm holding a torch for you. . .", yes?

clockwork
08-25-2007, 09:37 PM
Hmm...that's got me thinking about what I can do to some of my exes...:e2brows:

(I hope you're not referring to me.)

scarletpeaches
08-25-2007, 09:39 PM
(I hope you're not referring to me.)

Of course not, Chris. You're the one who got away. *sigh*...

clockwork
08-25-2007, 09:41 PM
:rolleyes:

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 09:42 PM
Scarlet has the burning desire for you, Chris. Run, run, run away.

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 09:50 PM
Write like you're on fire.

Don't know how much writing would be going on if 'that' was on fire....

:)

The_Grand_Duchess
08-25-2007, 10:02 PM
If I still had to live with my ex I wouldn't set him on fire.

I would put crushed glass in his food, though. Just sprinkle a little glass in it. Not enough to kill him. . . quickly anyway.

Thinking about him is putting me in a dark place. I'm going to my concert now.

rhymegirl
08-25-2007, 10:25 PM
Maybe the guy was singing, "Come on Baby, light my fire..."

And she took it literally?

SpookyWriter
08-25-2007, 10:27 PM
I'm curious to know how she managed to douse his dinky and light a match before he realized her intentions?

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:29 PM
I'm curious to know how she managed to douse his dinky and light a match before he realized her intentions?

If he'd listened to James Bond and went with 'shakened, not stirred' it probably wouldn't have been flamable in the first place....

:)
Edit: Going on the assumption that vodka is flammable? Is it? I don't know....anybody know? Just curious....

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 10:30 PM
I'm curious to know how she managed to douse his dinky and light a match before he realized her intentions?

Maybe she confused it with a candle wick?

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:32 PM
Or maybe she thought he said he wanted a blow torch...

lostintheweb
08-25-2007, 10:33 PM
No, No! He wanted a Bud lite!

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 10:34 PM
He wanted a sammich. "Hey woman, bring me a sammich." That's a recipe for disaster.

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:35 PM
Talk about chesnuts roasting on an open fire....

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:36 PM
She: I joined the circus and have become a flaming sword-swallower.

He: Prove it!

Doh!

maestrowork
08-25-2007, 10:38 PM
"He said he wished he had a fire hose..."

SpookyWriter
08-25-2007, 10:40 PM
I can speak from experience that you don't want to piss off a Russian or Ukrainian woman. He got off easy with just a warm noodle and damn lucky if you ask me.

Siddow
08-25-2007, 10:42 PM
Sounds like a case of spontaneous combustion.

Yeah, that'd be my story.

SpookyWriter
08-25-2007, 10:43 PM
And that's a very good reason not to drink vodka naked while smoking.

davids
08-25-2007, 10:44 PM
Who got away-what-where-which penis-that penis-oh that penis-penis kebob anyone-I prefer of course the flaming bum pit of love to jump in there would be a delight indeed-I think immortal may just have a point after all-a naked drunk hanging out with his ex-I was thinking it probably not is the best way to get layed with your ex!!!

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:47 PM
Who got away-what-where-which penis-that penis-oh that penis-penis kebob anyone-I prefer of course the flaming bum pit of love to jump in there would be a delight indeed-I think immortal may just have a point after all-a naked drunk hanging out with his ex-I was thinking it probably not is the best way to get layed with your ex!!!

And if that's what happens after you get laid....that is one hot piece of . . .

or too much friction?

davids
08-25-2007, 10:49 PM
Either way it is most definately rubbing the stick the wrong way!

My-Immortal
08-25-2007, 10:58 PM
"I said, I wanted some extra crispy chicken not an extra crispy thick end!"

reigningcatsndogs
08-25-2007, 11:53 PM
Hmmmm, a new recipe for banana flambe (with attitude!) -- I'll have to remember that!

Esopha
08-25-2007, 11:56 PM
Wait...wait...

Was he asleep when she did this? How can a man sit naked while his irate ex comes at him with a match/torch/flamethrower and not know what's bound to happen?

scarletpeaches
08-25-2007, 11:58 PM
Fret ye not, men of AW. The worst thing I ever did to an ex was allowed him to leave and got on with my life. Drove him mental it did, even though he lives on the other side of the world now.

But just in case, I have a very sharp bread knife to hand...

reigningcatsndogs
08-26-2007, 12:09 AM
Who got away-what-where-which penis-that penis-oh that penis-penis kebob anyone-I prefer of course the flaming bum pit of love to jump in there would be a delight indeed-I think immortal may just have a point after all-a naked drunk hanging out with his ex-I was thinking it probably not is the best way to get layed with your ex!!!
Sorry, Sweetcheeks, but this guy really was a hunka hunka burning love!!!!!

reigningcatsndogs
08-26-2007, 12:10 AM
Call the Boy Scouts -- WEINIE ROASTING TIME!!!!! Grab your buns, and step up the fire!!! Mustard and relish on the side!!!

Lady Esther
08-26-2007, 12:17 AM
Talk about chesnuts roasting on an open fire....
:roll: Talk about "goodness, gracious, great balls of fire."

rhymegirl
08-26-2007, 12:24 AM
Does no one feel bad for this poor guy?

What would he say when he goes to the emergency room?

"Sir, how did this happen?"

"Well, Doc, I was sitting around naked drinking Vodka with my ex-wife, you see, and while I wasn't looking she torched me."

And what becomes of this woman? Attempted murder? A mental hospital?

lostintheweb
08-26-2007, 12:36 AM
And what becomes of this woman? Attempted murder? A mental hospital?

What? No self-defense? "Your honor, I divorced him because he was such a jerk, and then he so self-absorbed that he lays around the apartment without any clothes on. I begged him again and again to put on some shorts. But no! He insists on frightening me with his lizard all the time!"

SpookyWriter
08-26-2007, 12:42 AM
And what becomes of this woman? Attempted murder? A mental hospital?She becomes a hero of the motherland. Spasibo!


http://www.ctie.monash.edu.au/hargrave/images/swp_586th_500.jpg

My-Immortal
08-26-2007, 12:45 AM
Does no one feel bad for this poor guy?

What would he say when he goes to the emergency room?

"Sir, how did this happen?"

"Well, Doc, I was sitting around naked drinking Vodka with my ex-wife, you see, and while I wasn't looking she torched me."

And what becomes of this woman? Attempted murder? A mental hospital?

Job working the grill at the local hotdog joint?

rhymegirl
08-26-2007, 12:49 AM
What? No self-defense? "Your honor, I divorced him because he was such a jerk, and then he so self-absorbed that he lays around the apartment without any clothes on. I begged him again and again to put on some shorts. But no! He insists on frightening me with his lizard all the time!"

Well, true, she might try the self-defense route. Maybe he forced himself on her and she wanted to get him back.

SpookyWriter
08-26-2007, 12:50 AM
Job working the grill at the local hotdog joint?
Or a job at the American embassy selling tourist packages.

My-Immortal
08-26-2007, 12:54 AM
Or a job at the American embassy selling tourist packages.

Or a divorce lawyer...?

SpookyWriter
08-26-2007, 01:42 AM
Or a divorce lawyer...?Won't work. She can't collect for scorched dick heads.