EDIT: This is really old. lol. I'd delete it, but I don't want to invalidate the comments below.
This is an excerpt from my YA, BROKEN. This is where the MC, Emily, gets to have a private interaction with the guy that's NOT her boyfriend. Does this work?
I climbed out of my clunker and snatched up my pack before walking toward the school.
“Couldn’t wait to see me, huh?” someone said from behind me. Bloody hell.
“Hello, Tate,” I answered and turned to face him. My stomach flipped as he brushed a chunk of his chocolate hair behind his ear. “Now, why would you think that I was here to see you? In case it wasn’t clear,” I leaned in and whispered. “I go to school here.”
“I don’t know, Emily.” He walked up to stand alarmingly close to me. “You’re here awfully early. You sure you weren’t just trying to catch a glimpse of me before class?”
His self-confident smile would have been obnoxious if he wasn’t so damn hot. I moved away from him and began to power walk toward the school as he fell in step next to me.
“I have complete trust that Caleb can find you a single girl,” I said. I didn’t look at him and tried to calculate if I could actually outrun him to the building.
“I don’t need Caleb to hook me up.”
“Fine. Then use your charms on someone that’s available.”
“So you think I’m charming?”
I looked at him sideways and had to laugh as he flashed a dazzling smile.
“You’re not nearly as cute as you think?” I lied.
“And you are way more intriguing than you give yourself credit for.”
I paused at the bottom of the steps and fully looked at him for the first time. His face was calm as he returned my stare. A warm flush spread over me, but I didn’t look away. Neither did he. His cheeks, now slightly pink, were framing a perfect face. The hazel in his eyes stood out against his dark skin, making them almost electric. They seemed to soften as I gazed back into them. He was so beautiful. My heart pounded in my ears until finally, Tate exhaled and looked down.
“Wow,” he said. “That right there, was seriously intense.” I nodded and my mouth hung open as I watched him kick at the ground, steadying his breath. The bell rang and we both looked at the building, irritated. We came back to face each other and Tate leaned in toward me.
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I’m hooked. I think it’s time for your boyfriend to start worrying.” He stepped back and I blinked and closed my mouth. Before I could argue, he jogged ahead me, barreling up the stairs. I watched him leave and took my own deep breath before slowly following him in.
What the hell had just happened? To clear my head, I tried to focus on the Writing assignment I'd finished for class. A class I shared with…
Damn it.
This is an excerpt from my YA, BROKEN. This is where the MC, Emily, gets to have a private interaction with the guy that's NOT her boyfriend. Does this work?
I climbed out of my clunker and snatched up my pack before walking toward the school.
“Couldn’t wait to see me, huh?” someone said from behind me. Bloody hell.
“Hello, Tate,” I answered and turned to face him. My stomach flipped as he brushed a chunk of his chocolate hair behind his ear. “Now, why would you think that I was here to see you? In case it wasn’t clear,” I leaned in and whispered. “I go to school here.”
“I don’t know, Emily.” He walked up to stand alarmingly close to me. “You’re here awfully early. You sure you weren’t just trying to catch a glimpse of me before class?”
His self-confident smile would have been obnoxious if he wasn’t so damn hot. I moved away from him and began to power walk toward the school as he fell in step next to me.
“I have complete trust that Caleb can find you a single girl,” I said. I didn’t look at him and tried to calculate if I could actually outrun him to the building.
“I don’t need Caleb to hook me up.”
“Fine. Then use your charms on someone that’s available.”
“So you think I’m charming?”
I looked at him sideways and had to laugh as he flashed a dazzling smile.
“You’re not nearly as cute as you think?” I lied.
“And you are way more intriguing than you give yourself credit for.”
I paused at the bottom of the steps and fully looked at him for the first time. His face was calm as he returned my stare. A warm flush spread over me, but I didn’t look away. Neither did he. His cheeks, now slightly pink, were framing a perfect face. The hazel in his eyes stood out against his dark skin, making them almost electric. They seemed to soften as I gazed back into them. He was so beautiful. My heart pounded in my ears until finally, Tate exhaled and looked down.
“Wow,” he said. “That right there, was seriously intense.” I nodded and my mouth hung open as I watched him kick at the ground, steadying his breath. The bell rang and we both looked at the building, irritated. We came back to face each other and Tate leaned in toward me.
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I’m hooked. I think it’s time for your boyfriend to start worrying.” He stepped back and I blinked and closed my mouth. Before I could argue, he jogged ahead me, barreling up the stairs. I watched him leave and took my own deep breath before slowly following him in.
What the hell had just happened? To clear my head, I tried to focus on the Writing assignment I'd finished for class. A class I shared with…
Damn it.
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